musings at a foreign place.

sometimes, i never fail to be amazed at the extent of confusion i can be in.

whether i think too much.
whether it's a habit i cannot break.
whether it's the insecurity i cannot deny.
whether it's you.
or me.

i haven't learnt.
how some things come with the other.
how...somethings are not meant to be separated.
or how association works.



i have difficulty understanding the connection between things, people and concepts.
beliefs, faiths, relationships, life and infinity.

it tests my patience. my mind. my intellectual (if i ever do have).



it's so easy to lose my way.
lose my thoughts.
forgetting to control.
i must never let them run wild. that's what the book said.
subconsciously...
i've forgotten what really means.


ifeelwhatifeeltwoyearsago.

whether it's a good thing or not...i don't know.

suddenly i miss just being with me.
tell me it's not supposed to be so.
tell me i must and can move forward to find greater happiness and bliss and direction in life.



tell me things will go the way i want them to.
terms and conditions apply.