nil.

i hate you for making me like you,
making my heart skip beats,
then making me detest you for being obliviously mean.
you make me want to cry.


but i won't. because it just means i'm weak.



i told you i didn't like the feeling to being brought up then down.
i hate it. i loathe it.

if it's going to be the same thing all over again, why bother?

i hate you. i hate this.
i hate myself most.



maybe it's just better to rely on myself and myself and myself.
dependence makes me weak.


if you're not going to be consistent, just leave me alone.
i don't need this all over again.
promises always seem empty to me.


if you think i've healed, you're wrong.
i still hurt from within; despite me telling myself that it's nothing anymore.


you just brought back all the pain.
and left me behind to clean it up alone.
don't you know?