warped brain and skipping heartbeats.

you made my heart skip many beats today.
well, yesterday, technically.


truthfully, frankly, i wanted to say this and i never got it all pieced out in my brain.
maybe because they are all in fragments. pieces. broken here and there. threads left hanging; to be picked up where they were severed.
i still can't get it all figured out.

and since now i know nanny reads my blog, this is weird HAHA. somethings are better said face to face eh?


shall upload pictures when i wake up later in the day. tired now. likeshit. so glad finally i can sleep past 7am on friday. ROARRRRR!!!!!





i don't know how exactly, or what words to use to express current emotions.
everything might end up sounding really bad, or wrong, or...i don't know...negative.


i think i need to sleep. then maybe take some time out to slowly and rationally reflect. all that influx of emotions and sudden adrenalin rush is just...overwhelming. clouds my judgement and feelings and...rationality.

i hate feeling lost and not having any idea what to do. or think. or move.





fucked up feeling.
zzzz. i officially hate myself.
like a tortoise.
i'm gonna hide in my shell as millions of bugging things pelt me from outside.



now...i just wanna hide.
i don't even know myself anymore.


WHAT DO I FUCKING WANT????