5:10am.

the radio was playing love songs.
the air con was appropriately chilly.
our breathings were not synchonized.
the digital clock was blinking.
the leaves of the trees were rustling outside in the breeze.
i was running my fingers nervously down the dashboard.


a thousand thoughts rushing through my little brain.
fear. apprehension. anticipation. guardedness. joy. relief. guilt.


everything imaginable.



technically,
i didn't accept.
i didn't reject either.



that's the beauty of it all.
can you hear what my heart yearns to say
but my lips refuse to form?
my stubborn pride and shattered heart.


could you feel my heart pounding against your chest?
could you feel contentment flowing from within?
could you feel my increasing dependence on you?
would you disappoint?

is it time i learn to grow up?
time i learn to change?
time i learn to open up?
to accept beyond the circle?


i like your shoulders.
i like your arms.
i like your hands.
strong but gentle.
you could be the one.
am i really yours?


sweetness lingers in the air after you sped away.
counting every moment till we meet again.
is this how liking someone feels like?



it's overwhelming how anger could turn to subdued joy.
even without speaking, i'm yours.


yes nehneh, i think i've fallen.
although i hate to admit it.
the ice queen never falls.
but the ice queen has probably met the sunlight.