Thursday, August 31, 2006

psychotherapy.

MUAHAAHAHAHA.

okkk, wenta school today for one and a half hour of PSY lecture. quite interesting. at least i wasn't TOTALLY lost by the lecturer. phewww.

and i only wore that satin-lookalike top with the green sweater and shorts. nainai cannot stop saying it's sexy. DOT. it's not. i covered what needs to be covered up already. very conservative one hor.

need to jian fei liao. fat fat. =(

eat less jielin!!!!

lately gotta thank weiming for his concern and advices. being there for me when i thought i was about to hit the roof and be so stressed till i tear out my hair. he seems to be an elder brother i have been craving for since i was a little girl. hahaha. it feels so nice to be pampered and cared for. =)

and i'm going to have the luck to eat his hand-made mooncake!! happiness. SNOW SKIN ONE. hahahah. i love! =)

tml last day of school this week! =) meeting ruan mian mian for dinner. maybe edwin and monz too. going to bugis to get my bag. OPERATION FIND BAG. yesssss! hahaha. and he will be my slave and carry my books for me. lalalaaa!

cannot bully him ah. he very good to bully one. too nice liao. heh.


school is so aimless. sometimes don't know who i can be crazy with, whisper in class, laugh outloud with. so what if you have a group you can hang around with, when they are hardly the ones you can open up to. or maybe not yet? *shrugs*

one week, what am i expecting? they say birds of the same kind flock together. so what is holding us together? it seems like race has played a part in making this clique. it's so...wierd. i feel like i'm...disconnected. i miss ah wan, yun ma, syaffy..i miss all of you. somehow things will never be the same again.

i've got to find my group of friends whom i belong to. cos' 5 days a week in school, means that i need a form of reliance. independence can only go that far. i need an outlet to be crazy with.

and i need to fucking study.
5 subjects. 5 tests. next week.


=(

i need a super huge beary hug.
who wanna give it to me?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

AIYEEEE.

i survived my first CSE 111 lab session.
thank god. but this is one of the easiest exercises already. i'm dreading the future ones.

i'm happy with the company so far. not here, nor there. but at least i have people i can laugh and talk to. =)

i mean, cannot expect much right? it's only the THIRD day! welllll, but i feel things are building up. we are in this together.

i'm getting used to this school timetable thing.
I WOKE UP LATE TODAY THOUGH. one freaking hour before my lecture. i never kan chiong so much before! chiong like mad i tell you. i think i reached on the dot. kanasai. lucky lecture hall on the first floor, if not i can train leg muscles again.

the lifts in SIM might as well not be built cos' i can count the number of times i actually got into the lift to take to a certain storey. it's so flooded and packed everytime!!!

i feel fitter climbing the stairs already! hahaha.

ESL 407 was good. i like the teacher! =) but i think i totally screwed up my pre-test essay! sigh. see how lah. really lost my touch in writing essays.



reading PSY text now. interesting shit.
need to digest.

AHHHH. i've got UGC to conquer later tonight. SIGH.
my first assignment. and nai nai finish liao. =( fuck fuck fuck.

stressland once again. and SHE pisses me off. seriously.

i need a personal study room.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

let me whine.

JUST LET ME WHINE ABOUT SCHOOL PLEASE.

modules i'm studying now.

1) COM 101--Principles of Communication
2) CSE 111--Great Ideas in Computer Science(THIS IS SHIT, complete with lunatic as a teacher)
3) ESL 407--Advanced Written English and Reading I(compulsory one. =()
4) PSY 101--Introductory Psychology
5) UGC 111--World Civilisations I


it's only day TWO, and i'm feeling the stress level up-ed to a level i've never faced in 8 months or so. it's traumatising. the amounts of readings, the textbooks, the tests and quizzes, the exams, all looming ahead. looming as in REALLY looming. i have tests next week already.

not to mention the projects and group works.



today is better. hahaha, i realised they DO speak chinese. i mean the chinese people lah. heh. it's not bad. and apparently there is a eye candy for a couple of the girls. tsktsk. i'm ok with him lah. reminds me of jian rong though. lol.


i stop whining liao. study time. tata!

Monday, August 28, 2006

first day.

and so i managed to survive my first day of school.
so fucking zombie-fied i hardly have the mood to go around being the cheerful and over-friendly me and introduce myself to people. 2 freaking hours of sleep.

tell my body clock to go to hell. i slept at 1am plus. then i freaking woke up at 3am plus for no damn reason. THEN I COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP. tell me how.

and i had to wake up at 7am to bathe and get ready for school. sighhhh. screwed up. i hope i manage to catch some close eye tonight.

really. insomia ruins my mood.

i really cannot take it. ang moh pai people. i mean, i and effectively billingual, can speak english and mandarin quite well. BUT, these people...speak english only. just kill me. i think if i pepper my conversation with a litttttle bit chinese, they'll stare at me like i'm some wierdo cheena pork.

no way i'm going to abandon my super nice chinese songs though. sigh. individuality. i'll survive it. not going to change myself just cos' the majority appears to be so ang moh.

my appearance is very deceiving. really. only people who truly know me, know me.

late for first lecture. but our darling dearest comms lecturer was later. heh. and i cannot believe they still do row call. bahhhh.
comms lecture was good. interesting. but after that had a super longggg break.

priya and i decided to go to PS to watch a movie. american haunting to be exact. scared the shit outta both of us. LOL. darn cold in the cinema can!!!! shivering and jumping from shock at the same time. the plot's quite sad though. tragic to me. and a little twisted. incest rape. GOD.

almost late for our computer science lecture on our way back from PS to SIM. oh, i saw shen's bro though. hahaha. he was like leaning forward to get my attention and i was so stoned to notice until he was right infront of me. super paiseh.

DAMN SIAN. our lecturer is a lunatic. and he doesn't know why he is a lunatic. really. he calls his lectures MAD HOUSE. wtf.

and he doesn't like his students to give him "pLORblems". thanks alot. he is giving me alot PROBLEMS listening to him talk.

ARGHHHH.

"see ah! i always tell my students this is fibre optics, don't use finger to go touch the exposed ends. cos' the GRASS(glass) will go under your skin and into your blood stream....then oyu know what you will become...?"

"glass man!" (the seniors exclaimed quite loudly)

"CORRECT! full marks for class participation!"


WTFFFFFFF. if i have to participate in his ultra cold jokes to get class participation marks, i'm so screwed. i'm hoping that i might actually fall in love with him one day. so that lectures can be less torturing on this zombie.

and computers talk shit to me. i'm gonna flunk. arghhhh. html? java script? webpages design? excel? frontpage?
WTF IS ALL THESE THINGS.
die. really die.
study study study.

CPU. MOTHERBOARD. RAM. OUTPUT AND INPUT DEVICES. BINARY. CACHE. BITS. BYTES. HERTZ. so much shit. i cannot take it.

must study. =(

more lects for the rest of the week. and projects are stressing me out too. AHHHHHH. kill meee babyyyy. i'm definitely looking forward to the weekends.
maybe i should go make some guy friends in my class tml. saves the hassle. somehow guys are more unassuming compared to girls.

too sensitive. and too desperate to want to be liked.

oh! SIM does have quite a number of cuties dammit. but they smoke. sigh. seriously, what so cool about smoking? dying young? bad breath? rotting and yellow stained teeth? cravings you cannot control? loss of own bodily functions and behaviours when in withdrawal? lesser money cos' all spent on cigarettes? i'm not even bothering to mention the number of diseases you are inflicting upon yourself.

and fuck, passive smokers are worse off. so stop polluting my air by strutting infront of me and acting like you are super cool puffing off that white stick. seriously. get a life.

it's no excuse for stress.


can't be bothered. tuition was fine. the kids were surprisingly tame today. gave them 3 papers to do. why do so fast one! haaha. and i almost fell aslp on the table while marking sat's essays. SHIT. sean wei that pri 1 kid is ultra duper cute. i heard that he creates quite alot of trouble in other classes, but somehow he very cute and nice in my class. never challenge me or what. weijin says he likes me. LOL. cos' sean wei kept claling him fatty. poor thing. =p

nicey weijin stayed to accompany me cos' i was the only teacher left and sean wei the only kid and he says "only girl here, not safe lah. ibetter stay." hahaha. nice hor? maybe i should be nicer to him. =pppp

he even offered to send me home in his car(impressed!). i didn't even know he had a car. ZAI! hahaha. and his bag was so huge i thought got corpse inside. lol. but papa fetching me mah. nice of him though. =)

somehow older guys are more gentlemanly.

oh well. my first day is over. and i shall conquer this week. there is the weekends to look forward to. thank god.

Thank
God
I 'm
Female


hahahha. saw this on a teeshirt with monz. wanted to get for tgif. but left one only. and M size. small for me ok.


ok, i'm so shagged i don't want update le. see ya guys soon.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I LOVE RBG!

hahahah. sundays rock my world.

i feel fitter after every rollerblading session. although i ADMIT that i don't blade very fast or very pro, but at least i feel less tired today. i'm improving! my stamina and legs muscles are better and stronger!!! YAY!

hahahah. still, thanks to alfie and wei ming AGAIN for being my two bodyguards. mostly wei ming lah. silently following by my side. =) somehow really feel more safe. BUT, i still fell down today. hard on my ass. TWO SIDES this time. super hiong can. i can feel myself being stunned from the impact. LOL. and my palms are bruised. =( had to sit on the ground quite long before i could feel my ass again and climb up. hahaha. then everyone bladed back to check out my ass. thanks lah, monz for hitting it to check whether i can feel it not.

hahaha. then alfie told me he saw two guys checking me out. apparently i don't know cos' i keep looking at the ground(for obstacles that can potentially trip me) always. i did saw one guy blade infront of me then turn around and say "zhe me yang?" to his friend behind me. but i didn't think much. just a quick glance up lah.
hahaha. alfie saw him turn to look at me instead of at his friend. he said it's the guys' way of checking out girls. tsktsk.
i guess they are at the losing end cos' i'm damn unglam and ugly when i blade. hope they don't have nightmare. lol.


we covered the entire ECP!!! yay! both ways you know! we getting more and more zai liao. and i wasn't panting at all. HAHAHAH.

i think i love them all. really. they make me feel so at home. so happy everytime. high on life.

pictures will be up soon! =) but depending on situation cos' school is starting for me tml! =( sighhhh. 5 days week are terrorising. plus saturday of working. i really hope sunday will be a relaxing and entertaining day from now onwards. seriously need to relax. chiong-ing spider.

first day of school. it's ok lah. normal lor,not very nervous, just worried that i might not be able to cope at the beginning. long day tml. after that gotta chiong to boon lay for tuition. sigh, the extents i go to for money. =(

so my day will be like 9am to 930pm. yays to jielin. i rock.



omg, we cannot car anymore when kok liang comes back from m'sia! how to squeeze 2 girls and 4 guys in a car???!! hahaha. today i squeeze at the back with alfie and wei mig already feel like sardine can. tsktsk. have to bus! =(

but i still love the gang. lalalaaa. hope to get to know more crazy people. hahahha.

after blading was high-ing on the car listening to songs and getting tramatised by monz and her "special vocals". dinner-ed at hong kong cafe. very yums. but i couldn't finish. hahaha. heard stories about their pai kia days and monz and i had nothing to share but tys memories. =( so sad can. hahahah.

i realised we are damn noisy. and the worst thing is i realise it, then i forget about it a moment later.

so we just noisy the whole way. the others must hate us.

monz is a rubber.
she bounces and jumps back very fast!

alfie is the guai4 ren3. hahahah.

wei ming is the uncle!

edwin is laopa!

me? i'm normal lahhh.


i'm too shagged to update anymore.
i cannot feel my legs.
and i still cannot close a car boot without making the car jump.
i miss RBG. i'm looking forward to next sunday! =)

school for now. and work. and money.

ps: remember clementi woods toilet.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

wah lau eh.

let's just say friday and saturday is equally tiring.

SIM orientation(on friday) for UB students studying at SUNY this semester is terrifying. instead of the usual ice breaker games and havoc stuff, our orientation is held at 7pm!!! EVENING. seriously. and my parents and i arrived late cos' there was some jam. well, it was slightly embarrassing entering a class already filled up and lecturer talking halfway. so i stepped in, took a quick gasp internally, scanned the room for space, and located two empty seats right at the back of the classroom. bingo!

back seats are really cool cos' you get to check out the people in the entire class(although back view only) without them realising. people watching. discreetly of course.

there was an indian girl infront of me. priya is her name, after we started talking during the short break we had. i cannot believe it! we merely exchanged names and realised that we were in the SAME CLASS, and also..well, started bitching about some stuff. lol. it's so bad. but then again, it felt good having someone to talk to, although it may seem a little superficial.

it's sad though, cos' i can already spot groups of girls with their friends(must have signed up together) and it's gonna be really hard to make friends with them. horrified at the thick make-up some of these girls had too. i really admire them for their ability to do make-up, but yet slightly grossed out at the CAKE of powder they had on their faces. not very flattering. heck.

there's Miss SIM beauty peagant. HAHAHAHA.

no, i'm not going to join. i don't have "what it takes".

coming back to the topic of terrifying. the lecturer was scaring me with countless numbers(GPAs) and requirements to be able to graduate successfully, and i got so freaked out by everything. i ended up quite stressed at the end of the day, which was 9plus at night.

fucking stressed. no more time for play. so tempting, but i'm going to try my best to restrain that wild streak in me. sighhh. half-hearted efforts always bring me nowhere.


saturday, today was good. fucking early morning...erm, swim. alcohol set in quite fast, but minimal effects. everything happened in a whirl. quite scary. but..really good. heh.

so many first time-s, and it was definitely thrilling, although the kind warning by the security guard got me quite embarrassed. *grimace*

pleasure in everyday life, should they be considered as sins? ok, maybe once a week only? hahaha.

*shrugs*

i've been bad. it's time to go back to the angelic side of me for next week. 5 days weeks plus working on monday after school and saturday entire day. i should be able to survive given my determination. gotta stop whining and fight through this shit. it's really too much to handle, but if i have the support from my friends around me, and also the internal drive within me, i think i might actually pull through. *sigh*

saturday morning till early noon has to be censored on the blog. HA. secrets.

noon was tuitioning and i almost fell asleep. terrible.

finally ended the dreadful tuition hours though i had a good talk with weijing about uni stuff and him saying that he has confidence in me able to pull through quite easily..i really am touched. really. it's people like him, the simple words and gestures coming from them that make my day.

met up with BHB at clementi and napped abit while waiting for monz and edwin to arrive in their car. went to marina south to steamboat! was damn tired but still tried to keep my adrenalin pumping to keep high. hahaha. energy. every moment spent now must really be worthwhile cos' i don't have much time for myself to relax anymore. sigh.

everything was good. really. =)

tml will be blading day with RBG again. i have a new red pouch from BHB! omg. it's darn nice. i wanted to get the black one for DAMN LONG already. but a red one is striking enough. =) thanks dear.

i hope my blading will be better tml. i cannot afford to fall again. sighhh. or blade ankle-ish. damn sad. alfie sure zoom pass us liao. wah lau, chao enthu. hahahah.

i wonder if RBG will still exist even after school starts? =)

every week seems better with me able to look forward to weekends. somehow, reliance on friends during weekends really is simpler than struggling and fighting like shit in the week.


i'm so tired thoughts just keep floating in and out of my mind constantly. i cannot stop them. so confused. so fucking tired.
i don't even know what i am supposed to FEEL. i feel so bad, because i'm enjoying what i shouldn't be. and i WANT to go beyond the limits, but it's against my principles. it's like tension of opposites at work again.

the need and the want.
the urgency and the _____.
yet the romance and the flow.



i've done so many first times these 2 weeks, that i think i've sinned enough for the rest of my life. HAH.

yet i actually enjoyed it. is my inside devil struggling to come out? or do i feel more comfortable being the suppressed and "saintly" me?

i want more. i know it's wrong, but i want more.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

i'm a pig.

it's virtually impossible to even TRY to lose weight with monica long xueling as a friend. REALLY.

and braces are not hurting that much already, meaning i can eat quite alot of stuff that dun require me to use my teeth to tug flesh outta something.

SIGH. i'm fat. i'm PIG. and standing beside miss skinny-eat-alot-won't-fat monz, i feel like i'm obese. it's fucking depressing. hahahahha.

no lahh, i'm used to it. i AM fat ok?


anyway, today met monz at 7:15pm(SUPPOSEDLY), then i waited until i grew mould. SHE WAS LATE. LATEEEEEE. 45 freaking minutes dammit. sky also dark liao can.
shopped in bugis for like 30 mins. not supposed to get anything, but just look look see see and wait for monz to get her earrings. SHIT LOR. then i couldn't help it but spend money again. SIGHHHHH.

sucks. i'm so waiting for my tuition pay. =(
half an hour only, and spent like 30 bucks liao. 2 shops. monz had to drag me out of bugis. so sad.

and met edwin to go GEYLANG!
hahaha.

monz:"did your feet come to geylang before?"

no, my feet did not come by itself. tsk.


monz:"later we go eat DONG jiang you tiao!"

-_-'''



hahahha, ate the famous TIAN JI ZHOU(NOT FAN, MONZ!). not bad! i don't usually eat tian ji porridge, but i must admit it was rather lip-smacking! =)

slacked awhile and waited for my fats to settle down. then monz was hungry already, so we headed down the street for DOU jiang you tiao. hahahahah. quite alot of stuff happened there.

guys asking for number.
monz trying to barge into the toilet while i was inside.
she being terrorised outside.
people thinking two of us were lesbians.
spilling 1/4 of the soya bean.
being LONG MA and ZHANG MEI, and of cos', not lacking HUANG DONG.

HAHAHAHAH. it's damn crazy, seriously. everytime i'm with them i laugh until i end up in tears and stomach cramps.
the entire shop must think we are mad people. LOL.
somehow it's comfortable hanging out with them. and i feel very happy having friends like them. introducing me to singapore's night life and good food and good places to chill out. really.

i'm enjoying life because of them. =)

thanks a million guys! =D *grins*

three musketeers rule!

i wonder what huang dong is doing with long ma now. hehe.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

bombardment of pictures.

pictures for genting and KL(monz's version) has been uploaded and the links are on the sidebar.

for pics involving RBG and the three musketeers, i've created an album each for both, so new pictures will be updated subsequently(unless it's a super huge outing thing. hahaha).

it's photos-crazy and i hardly have enough space in my thumbdrive to contain everything. grrrr. writing CDs. memories.

the following pictures are in order of sequence as the day(sunday) passed. just some highlights. i'll let the pics speak for themselves..go to links if you(edwin and monz) want to save all the pics one by one!

ps to edwin and monz: AMM project is on the way! *grins* and if you guys don't wanna right click and save, right click and save so many times, then msg me on msn and i'll send to you guys k? =)



















my papa bought the textbooks already. and i'm going to faint just looking at them. fuck. i shall not whine anymore. going to read up later.

my right buttock still hurts after the terribly LOUD fall on sunday. =( actually my entire freaking body is still aching. quite bad. from sunburn and everything. yawns.

and i'm wondering why i have such extreme behaviours. maybe it has got to do with the people i'm around with. or maybe in every angel, there is a devil struggling to be released, and it simply depends on when and to whom she releases it to? similarly i think it applies vice versa. i don't believe that every rebel has no softer side to him or her.

it's just hidden.

oh wells, i'm done for now. it's so exhausting to deal with pics and computer the entire day. grrrr. and i miss you. i know you miss me too. HA.
it's so difficult to make sense of everything. so i'd rather just let them be.

=(

nai nai is back, goody! BUT, this also means that school is starting freaking soon.

damn sian. damn scary. damn exciting. all mixed into one lumpy ball of emotions.

and i haven't gotten the freaking expensive textbooks.

and i'm so depressed just by glancing at my timetable, yet i cannot ignore it anymore. starting to plan my tuition slots and all.

the stress is building up, and i wonder how will i be able to study, make friends, do projects, research and do readings by myself, enjoy entertainment activities with friends and family, have a rocking social life, EARN MONEY and get some rest...all in one week. when i only have one day free. sunday. oh great.

in monz lingo--fabuloso!

i know some people who know my worries tell me to try it out, and if the load is simply too heavy, to let off some tuition classes. but this also means i'll be earning less. considering that i can't go help out at ma's shop due to my lousy timetable, and lesser classes will only equate to lesser university allowance for me. sigh. better still, i see my friends getting allowances from parents..and...i have to earn my keep.

yes, i've stopped stretching out my arm to request for money. i just don't feel good doing it. and they don't offer either. ma even stated that i will have to earn my own allowance for uni.

i'll have to take things one step at a time and hope i don't screw up.


one week till school.
one last week. and i don't have much plans for it. wonderful.

things will never be the same. for the better or for the worst.
*grimace*

rollerblading pics at ECP and cosybay will be up soon.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I LOVE SUNDAYS!

yeaaa, read my entry title again.

sundays are becoming my favourite, not only cos' i get to meet someone i missed so sorely for one entire week, but also i get to exercise my ass out(falling down excluded), meet new members of the gang and also get to see nice people.

swimming pool. i see swimming pools in whole new light.
a first. SECRET.
heh. and it was darn good. really.
prunes, both of us. you worse though. tsktsk. pruney beary paws.
stonefish. man that struggled so hard but never moved forward.
dog paddle style of swimming.
crazy kids that really made war in swimming pools terrifying.
and well, creating some commotion(though not necessarily in a good sense) ourselves.
heh.

it's damn high i tell you.
doing things you know people can see. let continuing cos' you don't really care.
it's...thrilling.

tingles.
you.


so burnt, but so happy.

it's easier not thinking so much, and just enjoy the moment.
it's easier not caring so much and just ignoring at times.
it's easier taking things lightly and not ponder over it.

so i'll just live in the moment, and...see how things go.
no expectations.
because of you, i feel like i'm living on the edge.
insecurity.
yet...excitement.



blading was good today. but cos' edwin had no car, we BUS-ED. BUSSSSSSSED. dammit. so tiring. hahaha. cannot stop whining. but it was surely interesting. met new member of the gang, wei ming. and alfie! hahaha.
wenta get alfie's new blades($50 only!!! HAHAH) and monz made me super lao kui all over again. seriously. but anyhow, i thought the other shop assistant is cuter now. NO MONZ, DON'T GO BACK TO TELL THAT GUY TOO. EDWIN, YOU ALSO.

reached ecp finally. changed, and started blading. i was already very lethargic by that time. burnt from the sun earlier and well, energy expending. hahaha. then my blading felt a little wrong. =( sad. gotta find out what's freaking wrong. maybe i'm just heavy. SOBS.

fell down. disfigured my left knee and shin with scratched and cuts. =( right palm too. pain and water.

i gotta say it again--wei ming and alfie very nice!!!!! VERY SUPER DUPER.
hahaha. cannot take it. had a good chat with the two of them about certain people and issues. ha. SECRET MEETING. and then wei ming was sweet enough to accompany me throughout my horrendous blading today. VERY NICE. he could have went of alone lah, on his bike. but he kept cycling slowly by my side and slowing down to check on me constantly. felt like got body guard. in fact, i really have to admit i felt darn safe with him by my side. untouchable. but ok, i fell down.

but he really tried his best to protect me liao. ecp really alot accidents, inconsiderate cyclists who cannot stop ringing their bells and pressurising the bladers around them, cutting lanes without warning and at blind spots, making the poor bladers fall and fall and fall. very bad. and what's worse? THEY DON'T FUCKING SAY SORY.

it's like a million hit and run-s i've witnessed. RAHHHHH.

random, a million maids. and a million monica.
HA.
trip to philippines.

so here i am, burnt, bruised and very very shagged.

wenta parkway parade for dinner. wei ming gentleman-ly carried my blades all the way from ecp to parkway without even uttering any complaints(NO, i did NOT ask him to carry for me) all the way to pasta mania where we had our dinner, even though he did not intend to eat with us. MY GOD. then he put down my blades when we reached there and said goodbye to us. tell me, got people so nice not!!!!?

i did thank him. but i was so amazed. really. edwin's friends never fail to stun me with their gestures.

didn't manage to down much of my dinner.
dinner was filled with flabby arm contest between monz and edwin. then discussions about age and how old we look. then saying grace(all: GRACE!) and then finding out that i look more ang moh than monz and hence, i look more like a christian but with rebellious black painted nails. hahaha.
and monz apparently looks like satan.(no offence here to anyone)

then jackings directed at our dearest alfie and the need to get him a) danger signboard b)P plate c) flashing lights to signal his direction d) posters to warn others about his scary antics e) all of the above and more.
hahah.

went to giant for a while. then left and cabbed. dropped alfie at his house and headed to edwin's house to freshen up a bit. proceeded to cosy bay. NICE. soccer match and bettings and drinks for everyone.

exhaustion was setting in. so we took some pics with the ultra romantic scenery. car-ed home(thank god) with monz king kong-ing. black-0rh, orange-orh and green-orh. oh god, monz was freaking high. my mouth could hardly open and i simply watched her molest edwin all the way home.(edwin bet you enjoyed it anyway. =D)

so here i am. happy sunday.

packed and meaningful.


garfield card was sweet. made me smile. and perhaps he isn't that emotionless. dammit. i forgot about the second month anniversary though. =(
again. i'm so guilty.
i gotta make up for it.


again, i must remind myself, because i have such poor memory.
today, sunday was so fucking good i didn't want it to end. but i wouldn't have energy to continue anyway.
so hot.
*grins*

you just drive me crazy with your touch and presence. and somehow, you seem to know what i want.
i can be your devil and angel.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

tuition life.

tuition tires me out.
the kids will kill me.
yet they do make me laugh.
but sometimes it's just so hard to make them sit still and do their work. or stop them from arguing with one another(politics! TSK) or stop them from talking too much with one another and just keep quiet.
ARGHHHH.
and children like to ask so many questions.
hahahah.

i should be taking more classes soon.
terribly in need of money.
SIGH.
i checked, and yes, i have lessons every freaking day even into the second week of school. meaning i'll be crashing alot of tuition lessons AFTER school. and my saturday is fully slotted with tuition classes too.
i guess i'm left with sunday then.

fucking scared i'll lose my social life.
or even time to study and relax.


anyhow, tuition peeps are really nice. they do make my day. though most of the time i'm too stressed printing stuff and marking papers to make chat during teaching times. only when i'm asked to take more classes and sorts.

but yea, after lessons i really had a good time just relaxing and sitting at my own table marking papers and listening to the two guys banter infront of me. and them making me laugh with their crazy remarks.

hah.


JH(principal): ya, so she should be taking this slot for secondary 3 students. 5-6:30pm on saturday lor.
WJ:(teacher, good friend of principal): huh, but this kind of timing, she attached right? like that she confirm won't take up one. this timing is people go pa tuo one!
ME: huhhhh? you sure this time is couples go pa tuo one???
WJ: ya lah!
(pause)
WJ: so...i think you have a problem.
(pause)
WJ: shit. means i got problem also.
ME: HAHAHAHAHA.


shit. it's inside joke. but it really made me laugh outloud.
darn. he is a nice guy. like teddy bearrrrr. and the kids call him the fat fat teacher. hee. somehow he's just super duper cute lah.
=pppp


HA. got people say my pink braces very cute.
happy.

rollerblading gang tml! =)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

peas fingernails.


look at my pretty gothic nails! =D
happy happy.
BUT im quite sure i'll never go for a manicure anytime soon.
merely 1 minute after i left the nail palour, i ruined my first nail.
then the second, and the third.
so fucking pissed i tell you.

WHY NAIL POLISH TAKE SO LONG TO DRY ONE.
i need my hands lah dammit.
so handicapped.

best is i got flu today. ask me use wad to blow my nose. ARGH.

i doubt this manicure can last long, but nevermind lah.
hahahah.
i like my nails now.
YAY.

the woman who did my nails said my fingernails look like peas.
PEAS.

i think that was a compliment.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

freaky.

yesterday was the first time i seriously got freaked out by a cab driver.
it's not funny when the cab driver starts laughing at nothing.
and when you ask him what he laughing at, he just said "just laugh lor".
-_-'''
i'm just glad he didn't lock me in the taxi and drive me off somewhere.
HA. not like i'm worth much lah.


anyway, went kbox with monz and edwin yesterday.
supposed to be with kok LIANG also, but he couldn't make it lor.
ended up as three musketeers.
fucking expensive.
not going to head to kbox for some time.
GRRRR.
really eat people money one.

kns.


looked through my SIM timetable.
damnnnnn pissed off. i feel like i'm REALLY heading back to school.
5 day week. ending at 5 plus. and rushing to tuition afterwhich.
at least i get to earn my allowance.
don't know where my money will come from. =(

my bank account has officially reached rock bottom.
depressing.
next three days is gonna be WORK FOR MAMA DAYS.
at least i get to earn some money.
=(

art of seduction.
cheeky.
naughty.
both???
HA.

i'm so amused by our bickerings sometimes. =D

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

RBG(rollerblading gang).



clockwise from top left:
me and monz;
me and monz again;
edwin;
monz.
all before rollerblading session!




rollerblading gang!
me, monz, edwin, kok liang and alfie.




clockwise from top left:
me and monz;
monz, kok liang and alfie;
monz and edwin(chair);
monz.
all AFTER blading session. damn tired faces. hahaha.




clockwise from top left:
backseat people;
me and KL;
KL and alfie;
all three of us!
after blading and finding dinner!




clockwise from top left:
me and monz;
KL and I;
KL and I again on car;
edwin FLYING. haha.
at pasir pangjang food market. =)




clockwise from topleft:
the two guys;
edwin and monz;
guys again;
edwin and monz again.
waiting for foooood!




the three musketeers! =)

Monday, August 14, 2006

perfect sunday.

today was the bestest perfect sunday that i had in a very long time.
not one moment was spent feeling like shit, or upset, or disappointment,or anger or anything negative.

really.
i was flying among the clouds the entire day.
ok, rolling on wheels if you wanna be specific.

terrific sunday.
sundays should just be spent like this with you and you and youuuu all.
happiness.
=)

pics will be up in entries to come.

darn, i'm so worried i won't have the mood for school. =X

Sunday, August 13, 2006

rollerblading gang.

blading at east coast park. SHIOK. ok, also damn exhausting lah. i was panting halfway back from the other end of the park. VERY bad. and my ankles were hurting like hell. hahaha. total body work out i tell you. especially lower body. entire afternoon..from 1plus to 5plus. i just DRANK water like there was no tomorrow. don't even care about eating liao. water is all i need. hydrationnnn.

hahah. gotta thank monz and kok liang(thanks edwin for the correction)for dragging me when i was so freaking dead on the way back. then i just persevered till the end!!!!! YAY. i'm ultra fit lor!

hahahah. today was fun packed. very fun! =) funny people. hahaha. click quite well lah surprisingly. nice people. we are the rollerblading gang! must psycho the guys to buy blades too! =)

i feel darn fit.

dinner at pasir panjang food market. yeaaa. stingray, sambal sotongs, ao jian, countless orders of sugarcane juice and other drinks, kang kong and errr..oysters? hahaha. bloated. damn fullll.

on the car very entertaining as usual. sigh. really feels so good to just chill out and be crazy. ha. and just laugh.

i won't mind doing this every weekend! =)

going to camp wed to fri. sigh. as attachee. NO PAY. sad. but nvm lah. gain experience lor. *shrugS* kinda scared though.

today is a happy happy day! =)
it's 13th august! no wonder! 13th is my lucky number! =)
pics up on later entry!

three musketeers.

yea yea, we are the three musketeers who cannot sing for peanuts, crazy and in search of good food with good company.

yawns. today was havoc. tuitioned, then met up with edwin and monz for dinner and fireworks! watched like 4 shows liao. win already. all four countries also watch. but its pretty nice lah. =) first two with family, last two with the 2 musketeers. hahah.

no romance, but enjoyable to say the least. =) asides from the squeezing and trying to breathe above all the oily heads and sweaty bodies. it's still an experience.

mount faber. hill bistro(or is it bistro hill?). whiskey sour for me, screwdriver for monz, and long island for edwin. woo. cocktails. just to chill out.

then came the very uncalled for phone call. SIAN. i seriously wish parents would realise i'm a freaking 19 year old and stop controlling me so strictly. REALLY. why can't you take a look at other parents who respect their kids and the freedom. i mean, i KNOW how to take care of myself. i'm no longer than 9 year old yearning for your attention and your protection. if you don't ever let me learn to be on my own two feet, i'll never learn.

nights are so much better than mornings.

it feels so good to have friends like the two of them. it's constant entertainment on the go. introducing me to good food, good places and hideouts. really pumps the adrenalin.

HAHAHA. and i realised braces don't really help restrict my food intake. quite sian. pangs of hunger leads to binges. and i realised i can actually chew food using my back teeth. and i found quite a number of dishes that are actually tender. heh. sadded. maybe the first few days lah. my teeth ache less now. =)

sunday morning would be restricted for my corn and noon for rollerblading(cuties radar switched on). night is tentative. i wanna go cozybay. =( but my parents will flip AGAIN. seriously.

see how lah. i love my life now. hehe.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

mistake.

2 AM and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.

cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe, just breathe


May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
"Just a day," he said down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him maybe I'll just sing about it


Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button, boys
so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breath just breathe


There's a light at each end of this tunnel
You shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around


2 AM and I'm still awake writing this song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.


But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand, yeah breathe
Just breathe, oh oh breathe, just breathe, oh breathe,
just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe

BOO!

hahahah. oh god, i'm starting to love rollerblading. seriously. this is a sport that is like practise makes perfect. and requires so much confidence. tsk. i need to gain more, to be able to be more STABLE, SKATE FASTER, T-BRAKE and well........*grimace* go up slopes.


terribly annoying. HAHAHA. but hilarious to say the least. plucked poor leaf off the side vegetation all cos' i was rolling DOWNslope when i should be working my way up. end result is quite obvious lah. fell down unglamly. THREE FREAKING TIMES. it's time i give up.

hahaha. no lah, i won't. i'll practise more!!! next time will go upslope without anyone pushing me from behind. poor edwin. =(

hahaha. at least i didn't fall while blading today hor! corn, BE CAREFUL! very soon i'll be able to chase you already! HEE.

going blading on sunday noon i think! EAST COAST PARK. now that's exciting. hee. =)

darn, i get so high on sports. yawns.
and learning. cos' i'm so bored and unfit and fat. i seriously need to slim down. fatty pig ass.

oh yea. and i need money. =( sighhhh. but i'm such a lazy shit now. even my papa says i'm very "wu suo shi shi". dammit. feel like a society parasite. heh. in a way, i'm saving money staying at home rotting and going out for tuition or blading or meeting ups. but i am not earning anything either. =X

see how lah.

hahaha.

today was hilariously fun and well, tiring.
monz and her ROMPING around.
tsk. she needs ALOT of pronunciation classes. hear me monz???

hahahha. but then again, it provides alot of entertainment. LOL.
like monz in trolley in carrefour. seriously. just imagine.
groccery shopping never seems the same to me again.

i never laughed so hard in a very long time.
and dinner never tasted so good. maybe it was the extreme hunger. but we all agreed that the standard "was there". and it was worth the bucks. hehe. and we all ordered like we never eat for days. very unglam. haha. ICHIBAN BOSHI at suntec! go try out! =)

abit of LDMU though. tsk.
and dinner time was peppered with so much laughing edwin thought both of us were going to give birth. haah. crazy crazy.

somehow, i'm glad i got to know certain people in life. really made me feel at ease. not alot people can make me feel like that with a few meeting chances only. oh wells, we'll see how things go eh? fate lah...

i'm exhausted. tuition later in the day. gotta gear myself up for the screaming kids and be the responsible but can-play-with-me-if-you-complete-your-work-teacher. hahah. don't know should meet up with monz for dinner? gotta print some pictures at JP. surprise. hehe.

sunday should be quite exciting. excited.
blah. i'm off.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

picks of the week.

several pictures for entertainment. view with discretion.




dammit. darn unglam picture. me and boobs lookalike.















she examining the boobs. tsk.






the extreme auntie and her "car". monz practising parallel parking in carrefour.





saw this at the cashier counter whereby the cashiers are supposed to "beep" the stuff through.
apparently, i think they hardly ever look at this.
even if they did, it was not reflected on their service.





us. at new york new york. =)





unglam-ness runs in sisterhood. HA. (we look like disfigured pigs lah.)




beauty in magnificence. frozen in time. (resolution not very good lah, taken with my 1.3mp cam phone only.)




part of friday nighters with shar's friend. =)
looks more like mother and children right?=D
no prizes for guessing who's the mother though. HAHA.




me, hf and paula. waiting for shar and yarn at watsons.




and again. note the braces. =X






me, hf and shar.








corn and potato.

ok, that's all for now. pretty darn bored. pretty darn confused. times like this, i wanna detach myself from the rest of the world.

but somehow, it keeps coming back to bug me.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

bracey girl.

yeaaaa. i got pink bracessss.

it hurts like shit. and it's a shitload of attention to maintain oral hygiene. but i can live with it.

it's quite fun lah. to open your mouth and see a sea of pink. makes me happyyyyy!

yeaa.



it cuts my lips and insides of my mouth.

=(


can feel ulcers coming my way liao. but i can live with it.
HA. must think of my next colour already! exciting! =D

looking forward to niceeee teeth!

and it doesn't disrupt you-know-what.

HA.

helena tan yixuan. i'm demanding you to contact me asap. cos' i miss you, CLASSMATE!!! contact meeeeee.


working on things. communications. try harder, jielin. compromise. yeaa.


sigh. it's so frustrating that i really want to give up at times. i'm serious. don't know why i still hold on.



dammit. someone tell me how do people flirt?

Sunday, August 06, 2006

rollerblading

WAH. i tell you all, rollerblading is DAMN TIRING.

cannot take it. maybe cos' i still not good enough. hahah. I WILL PRACTISE HARDER!


it's the fear of falling i guess. must be more confident. bend forward, to stabilise. 45 degree pushes.

JIAYOU JIELIN!!


hahaha. my feet aches. but i will work harder. must be able to blade confidently.

dammit, i nearly fell down today. quite a couple of times. but thank god you were there to catch me.

literally: to catch me when i fall.

HAHA.

your unique perspective of romance. but i guess i have to understand eh?







i don't want to TRY to fall in love. i want to fall in love. us to fall in love. go with the flow.
ha. what if you are already in love but you don't know how it feels like? it'll be funny man. but i really don't know. so confused.

i want to give it my all, yet something is holding me back.








thinking back on certain things. sigh. testimonials i never submitted. a choice i made. the perspectives i have to endure. the little hints of i-care-but-i-think-i'm-in-a-better-state-than-you-thank-god-for-that. struggling against the odds. proving my worth.

it's a challenge and i uphill task. i must endure. really.

i know i am not what most people think i am. i know i am more than that. so i don't need sympathy and "oh no! why she never end up ____" and snide remarks at me or behind my backs.

this is a choice i made. it's a path i choose to take.
this is a path meant for me.
different, yes.
different people have different paths in life lah.

i'll be fine, thanks for everyone's concern.

everything i've typed wasn't aimed at anyone in particular.



yawns.
i wonder what colour braces should i get. fixing on tues! =D

bracey girl.
gosh, hope i look good still. =p





teaching p4 kids from now on. die. TOLERANCE, JIELIN!

but it's worth it.
=)

the p6 kids say they love me. heh. happiness.
and now, they did not tell me.
they told the principal.
yea, the principal told me.

i'm glad there are such nice people in the centre. =)





do you want to feel? or do you just feel?

Friday, August 04, 2006

white ass and vamps meet up.

hahahah.
today was good. slacked at home till tuition time came and i left for tiong bahru.

journal-ed.
marked scripts.
laughed at hilarious burglar-tried-to-escape-from-police-and-fell-off-building-landing-on-his-head storylines.

started on jane austen's mansfield park.
god, i forgot how much i love classics.
=)



very quaint and absurd at some parts.
makes you wonder, and snigger at how old-fashioned and yet appealing everything seemed to be back in the past.
how obnoxious "high-end" ladies were, how superficial and how outrageous money and marriage can actually be linked.
status marriage indeed.




meet up with white ass gene was good. =) been a long time.
walked around looking for certain stuff for certain people. =D
and yea, cannot stop him from suan-ing me about me and my "long men". grrrrr. you still can call me vampire(don't know fortunate or unfortunate), cos' my fangs are still intact.

heh.

talked quite abit. miss conversations like that. easy. no masks. no holding back.

army. love life. studies.

i'm glad i have you as a good friend for life. really. =)

white ass and vamps.



fish and co-ed. chewed my fish and chips like no tomorrow. then started to use to tongue to get those stuff outta the back braces. so disgusting and unglam. but cannot take it. very very ma fan. i cannot imagine the full set. back braces bad enough already! =( need to brush next time..arghhhh.

and my lips dry up so quickly now. i have to keep hydrating myself and my lips. =X

and i keep biting myself from my back brackets! DAMMIT. it hurts lah. cnanot speak too quickly yet. but i'm getting used to it.

worried about oral hygiene and gum problems though. =( toothbrush will become my best friend. hahahahh.


okkkkk. tomorrow is tuitioning sec 1 eng(4 kids now! *GASP*) and pri 5 and 6 CE. then going to popo's house to celebrate her birthday! =) her actual birthday is on national day. cool eh??? YAWN.

sunday is skating day and updating scrap book day. YAY!!! i cannot wait.

really. like jumpy excited happy little bunny.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

=(

hole in pocket.

bought new blades.
calculated already. by fixing my VERY ruined old blades and getting new one..actually cost about the same. might as well get something better. right?


oh god. and the guy was quite cute.

and he helped me tie the laces and stuff????!!!!


felt like a princess letting the prince put on my glass slippers.

HAHAHAHA.

fine, i'm dreaming. but he's nice lah. cannot stand it.

took super long to decided what to buy..but yea, i bought it.

don't ask me the price. heart pain.

I WILL EARN IT BACK SOON!!!! YESSSS.

must. cannot will. MUST EARN.
next month pay..august..better get back the money.

heard tt my pay going to increase per hour. yay. good news for me definitely.



so darn broke.

so darn sad.

i need a rich boyfriend.

but i will settle for you. =)

cos' you make my heart stop whenever i see you.

hehe.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

bored stiff.

There are enough guns in the United States that if you gave one to every adult, you would run out of adults before you ran out of guns.



i'm so bored out of my mind. everyone has started school and i keep reading blog entries about school life or orientation.

here i am, bored out of my wits. sooooo longgg till my school starts. dammit.

but i should be thankful. by the time my braces are done, i should have enough time to get used to it before i start meeting new people.

but...

NAI NAI!!!! WHERE ARE YOU? COME BACK SOOOOOOON!!! =(

haven't seen you online for a long while. sigh.



elvin ng is ultra duper cute. i just want to marry him already! =D *grins*
i mean, where can you find someone so cute, so sensitive, so giving, so understanding and so sacrificing??? a loyal friend, a sentimental guy, and well, rich. and he's not a jerk. how many rich guys out there are actually gentlemen???




i'm almost giving up on finding rollers for my blades. my one last try at carrefour tomorrow! =X meeting monz for movie: LAKE HOUSE!! and some heart-to-heart talk..sigh.


my final extractions are done, thank god. and my back braces are up. awaiting the rest to be placed next tuesday. =( i can virtually eat nothing now. swallow and drink, yes. but i'm not complaining.

sigh. weighed myself. dropped 3kg already. good i guess.



i miss food. i miss chomping down hard on stuff instead of nibbling on small pieces of food. i miss yawning open-mouthed without actually feeling the pinch of metal against my cheeks. but i'll get used to it.

i will survive lah.
turn out better, why not? =)


just gotta find something meaningful to do. life's so empty.

and i'm sick of asking him out. i mean, in this day and age, i do agree girls should take the initiative. but c'mon, i need you to ask me out sometimes too.

give up. not going to do anything. not going to be nice.


BAHHHHH.



i need to do something exciting.