of monday and non-blues.

er, ok don't be deceived by the time shown on this entry. i was lazily uploading pictures, and just began typing now......12:11am. zzzz.
just a couple of updates before i head to bed to gear myself up for the monday.......blues or not. hopefully not.

it's been a crazy week. what's new? a week that zoomed past me...leaving me incoherent and..really...i don't know. i think my mum is right: time flies by when you start working in the work world. i didn't think it's true. since school days always seemed so slowwwww.

i would say that my weekdays are always mal-nutritioned. SIGH. i don't know what's wrong with me. somehow, if fatbear doesn't feed me, i won't eat/eat as much. which is awful. because to me, i'd rather save money than spend on food. mainly because i'm impossibly broke. and i really need to save money for various items. hai.

maggi in pantry saves my day. or occasional biscuit bites when i have time in between tasks. or..simply water and tea. and mostly, by the time i reach home, dinner is over, and i would have lost my appetite on the longggg journey home. so...ya, no meals.

but fret not my friends. i've not lost a single kilo HAHAHAH. back to basics: fml.

some pictures!

fatbear bought this for me in some gem/jewellery place in taiwan. (: didn't really feel like wearing it because i thought i still looked...weird...in it. but i still brought it out to wear..for 2 days. HAHA. i guess i'm not much of an accessory person.

my sis bought me my birthday present in advance. it's ear studs. made of real swarovski crystals. she says it cost her a bomb. but it's from the same store she bought the earrings for me last year's birthday too.

i like it. it's pretty pretty. yet to wear them yet.

the resolution is really poor. i think my blackie is dying too. zzz. should use it more often. ARGHHH. made of pink, purple and plain colored ones. very bling.

and after a late night after work, fatbear came to pick me up to get me my breakfast for the next day. i hardly met fatbear last week because of his and my work. we both had to work till late. crazy shits. but managed to find one day to see each other. aren't the dounuts pretty???!!!

damn pretty lor! HAHA. i couldn't bear to eat them. but i was famished the next morning, so i gobbled them up. boohoo. say hi to the pig.

(((:
see this paper bag? HAHAHA nehneh gave it to me. OK PLEASE IT'S NOT FROM POH HENG. HAHA. it's goodies from taiwan!

tadaaa!!! ate half of them already. sinful shits.

then i met fatbear on saturday after finishing some of my stuff (work..GAH). i skipped my tuition for extra hours of sleep. so freaking tired. i thought my body integrated into the bed already. weekends are really time for me to SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. before i lose my mind.

we went groccery shopping!!! YAYYY i love groccery shopping! HAHA. bought madloads of tidbits which we stashed at fatbear's place. one of the supermarket aunties commented that we were tidbits king and queen. cos' the entire basket was filled with tidbits! HAHAHA. ok lah, but i admit, mostly were mine. =D but must ask permission of fatbear one ok! plus he's damn good at calculating the price. like mini packs VS mega packs. which one cheaper--> more worth it etc. WAHHH. my bear is best at that. HAHAHA so i let him count, then i just take. (((:

saturday also means the house is empty except for the maid. so we decided to cook. bought ingredients.

i think the maid cooked this tofu coated with flour. SO DAMN SHITTY. ruined my perfect tofu. so sad ok. i ate one piece, got so turned off, and never touched it again. and i love my tofus!!!!

noodles because we didn't want rice.

garlic for taste and baked beans.

cut up sausages.

crabstick.
soup!!! yumsss.
HELLO!!! it's proof that i actually did help cook!!! although i procrastinated and nua-ed and tried to keep fatbear nua-ing with me in bed but haiiiii, he ran from my grasp and threatened me to cook with him in the kitchen. HAIII, being the good girl, i got out of bed and helped out. boohoo.

i wish i were more domesticated. didn't help that fatbear and his maid laughed at me for being super un-pro and scared of the sizzling oil in the frying pan that kept spitting oil at me. i seriously hate those sizzling stuff!!! damn pain ok!

i look mad happy. but it's all a facade. i was breathing in smoke and oil and i felt full even before eating. =(((

please ignore the fact that i'm wielding the the frying thingy so unpro-ly. HAI.

that's fatbear and his hands.

see!!! THE AWFUL TOFU mixed with my precious tau gei and hotdogs. =((((


we also heated up laksa, packed from my late lunched which i didn't eat after all. my meals are way too irregular!!! =(((

fatbear made this, and i helped fry it. baked beans with scrambled eggs, crabstick and hotdogs.

helped cooked the noodles too...

the spread.
with soup. so much, we didn't even finish 1/4 of everything. i stopped eating after a bit because everything tasted quite awful. i think it must be the heat (i hate singapore's weather, period) and the excessive oil inhaled while cooking. lost my appetite =(.

or maybe my stomach is spoiled.

anyway, camped over at fatbear's after i went home and packed my stuff. we watched DISTURBIA on HBO till about 3am, then went to bed. and slept all the way till 1plus in the afternoon!!! OMFG i'm sucha piggg. HAHAHAHA.

bathed, ate some breakfast/lunch (shitty meal times) and napped from 3plus to 6plus again. HAIII. why am i like that? plus it was so hot, i was perspiring as i napped, but i just wanted to nap. but napping in this weather makes me angry when i wake up.

GAHHH STOP BEING SO HOT YOU STUPID SUN.

fatbear's friend birthday party today. bbq at one friend's place. but it was really too hot to envision sitting by the crazy bbq pit the entire night PLUS i didn't think i'll enjoy myself much, so i gave it a miss. i know i'm stubborn and like to do things my way. sorry fatbear.

but in any sense, i think he doesn't mind either. kicking me away and having some time with his friends. boohoo. fatbear love me no more. =((((

so i'm home. was browsing blogs, shopping sites..contemplating to buy...and end up...i'm empty handed still. HAI. my sad life. i wish i could go to town to shop.

if only i were richer. really.

mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally.

i want a short getaway. but cash restricts still. i see friends going places, living the life, enjoying their break and NOT working. i look at myself, i hear people say i'm stupid (not in my face, but implied surely) and i feel stupid for accepting a lowly paid job...........

what can i do? i'm stuck. no where. not up, not down. just...there.

and i still wish i were thinner, healthier, prettier, and the list goes on.

i wonder why i'm a communications student..when i don't communicate that much after all.

dear friends, if you DRIVE, and have time to spare after 7pm (or later), come pick me up at my work place, bring me out to eat/shop/do anything fun. before i feel like i'm losing my youth. so rapidly, perhaps i'm losing myself too.

i really...am not looking forward to 7th june.

overandout.

20 things and a post note.

1) met up with nehnehs and chaigaoyuan yesterday after work. they picked me up and we went to rail mall for dinner and a short catch up. they thought i died or something because of my MIA. sorry guys. but i work on the other half of the island...explains my disappearing act.

2) thanks nehnehpoks for the tw goodies. have yet to touch them. (:

3) angry at fatbear. but maybe i shouldn't be. must be understanding right? SIGH.

4) hungry. another day without dinner. i swear that my eating hours are damn bloody irregular although my sleeping hours are more regular now. i'm so starved i cannot feel anything anymore.

5) deadline friday. i've got a pile of work to do. and really really REALLY tired. thank god it's friday. BUT no thanks to god, i feel like time is zooming past freaking fast, my youth is like flying away.

6) my birthday is coming. 7th of june!!!! argh. fuck it. let's just hope that i won't be doing work related stuff on that day/weekend. PLEASE LAH PLEASEEEEEEEE.

7) it's not that i don't love my work. just that it's so challenging that i feel everyday my brain is tested to the limits. everyday i have to mould myself to fit the needs of an entirely different task. i feel like a crazy chameleon whose altering forms are soon going to die out.

8) abby replied me on facebook. SHE IS ALIVE!!!

9) i took 2 hours to go home from kallang to west coast today. i wasn't that exhausted when i left the office. but by the time i reached my doorstep, i wanted to slap anyone who offended me. which....luckily...didn't happen because no one offended me.

10) i finally have two bottoms for work. so yay! i don't stink (as much) anymore wtf.

11) i have a shit looking at me, beckoning me to complete. but i guess...escapism. wtf.

12) i seriously want to sleep.

13) i ate maggi for lunch today. in a desperate attempt to save money (ruin my own health SIGH) and...save money.

14) why do i sound so annoyingly pathetic.

15) mlia. but sometimes, i think it's just fml.

16) someone once used to tell me that i have this innate ability to make anyone who is suffering, feel LESS "suffered" than me. in other terms, i can make anyone in shit sound LESSER in shit when comparing me with him/her. wow. that's some great ability. HA HA.

17) my birthday is coming and i have no plans. fatbear is going to take me to a coffee shop to celebrate. -cheers- wtf. fml.

18) i need a new handphone before it dies on me because i made 4 phone calls (one bar of batt depletes withevery phonecall received/made). bloody LG. but then again, i was contemplating LG Icecream (pink)............because it's so crazily cute. BUT, LG again. why do i never learn from mistakes??? SIGH.

19) i can't receive smses from some people because apparently, my LG phone blocks them out. HA HA. omg fuck my phone lah seriously. WHAT PHONE TO GET????!!!! i don't have extra cash. and...i can't sign a new contract. so this means i have to pay a bomb to get a new phone. so stupid. sigh.

20) i really should start on my work. byebye and good night.

ps: i really just want to say that i'm not good at expressing emotions right now. i do miss so many people. and i want them to know. but...sigh, not that it matters. because if these people knew that i cared, they would have at least talked to me/smsed/msned me right? which didn't happen. so well....i conclude that my life is......a wasteful bunch of shit.

i wonder why i'm even living.

Why is it the mass perception (or at least...say the majority) that a job can be considered desirable and a dream job only when it fulfils the requirement of having a high pay/salary?

It gets tiring, to convince myself against the words of others, and gets tense when ideals clash.
Was this what the fortune teller in tw was refering to when she told me about the expectations of year 2009 for me?
It seems highly so when I suddenly recalled her words as I was resting on the couch...

Everything does seem to make sense now.
If so, the only thing I can do is persevere and believe in myself.
Because my big break will come soon.

Meanwhile, let me harden my resolve and try to meet the crazy deadlines. God I hate china and their crazy long holidays. Argh.
I've officially hit another record in my life--doing a Chinese business proposal in ppt.
Amongst others. Zzz. This job tests me again and again.
Constant challenge was what I asked for, it is what I'm getting.
You don't have to be good at one area only; you have to be good at everything!
Because eveyday you come to work, you have to accomplish tasks which tests a variety of skills and knowledge.

The boss is right.
Not everyone can do this job well.
But I do hope I have the flair for this.
It's all too early to say.
Learn retain update upgrade refresh.
Let the mind run wild.

Everyday I feel stupider, and yet gain more knowledge with each passing day.
Ironies do make sense.

before i sleep.

woke up late today. was supposed to leave house at 730am as usual. i woke up at 715am. WTF. and i was dreaming about work ok! gahhhh. i must have unsnoozed all my THREE alarms. siao liao.

anyway, some pictures before i head to bed. tired mans. long days. looking forward to end of week..hai.

while waiting for fatbear to pick me up after tuition on saturday. took some pics. heh.

bought some late lunch then went to his place to rot and wait for him to finish part of his office stuff so that he wouldn't need to OT that much the next week. boohoo. REALLY rotted. i don't know where my saturday went. =(

i forgot to blog about this from long long ago! NEHNEH sponsored half the cost of this chloe clutch for my birthday gift. (: thanks. but i used it once only. TSK. no life to go out and dress nice nice.

helllooo. at fatbear's office entertaining myself after doing stuff like surfing web, playing games on touchy and napping a little. tsk. my hair is growing crazily again. sigh.

GAHHHH. see my horrible pimple. so huge it's hard not to see. -.- and my lips are uber chapped. better lather on the moisturizing lip balm or something. so ugly. =(

hello sneakers! long time no see! (: my best companion.

subway for late lunch.



full view of the clutch. it's like bursting because i had so many things to bring about. wtf. HAHAH. and the leather by itself is already super heavy. =X





it actually looks alright in this picture without flash because this was taken BEFORE it became full-blown. -cries-



fatbear's list of things to do. HAHA.

met monz and chip with fatbear to go for movieeeeeee at vivocity! Night at the Museum 2!

then we wanted to take pictures but couldn't find a nice backdrop. we were standing outside daiso after the movie. so wtf. end result.

monz and i wanted to pretend that we looked like we were in JAPAN WTFWTF. whyarewelikethat. HAHAHAHA.

don't judge me based on my clothes again! zzzz.

chip became the always $2! AHAHAHAHAHHAHA. so cheepcheep.

the only group picture for the day before we went separate ways. =( boo. time flies.

tsktsk. i never know if they're adults or children. perhaps a mix.

look a bit too much like twins wtf. HAHAHAHA.

and us. very...un-alike. =(

monz took this picture for us. with flash.

she tried to take without flash but obviously she's growing old because the camera picture came out so shaky it looked like there was an earthquake at vivo. zzz. don't mind our faces because it's all candid wtf. monz can never take proper pictures lehhhh.




then i gave up, and took for them. without flash.

EH CAN WHAT. monz, you need to eat more chicken legs wtf.

at work. morning. that doremon thing is quite nice! and behind it, you can see my tidbits mug. wtf. HAHAHAHA. i put it next to the monitor because it spurs me to work on. -.- and because when i'm stressed i need to munch to prevent myself from tearing out my hair.

after my swollen eye day. still a bit too swollen but back at work. i didn't realize it at first but i look like i have antlers growing out from my head because of the background. -.-

from sneakers...to heels/flats. i cheat a lot. i'm supposed to wear heels. but i seriously hate towering over people. and i hate having to walk in them. such a chore. i definitely hate looking at the top of people's heads. argh.

which reminds me of the bus ride i had last week. i stood amongst 5 other males (middle-aged and young ones). i was taller than 3 of them. IN MY FLATS. like not 1cm 2 cm taller kind, but SIGNIFICANTLY taller. and the other 2 were same height as me. (i judged based on the reflections from the bus windows. everyone was standing straight because it was peak hour and there was no space to slouch or lie against the panels/hand holds etc.)

eh depressing lah.

i shall work on reducing my weight and size first wtf. which will never happen in my life i think. -.- fmltothemax.

ok. enough. long day ahead. long week actually. longer months. argh. so much to do. one step at a time. learn as i walk.

good night!