as we age, we become wiser?

somehow, whenever i look back into the past of me, i often feel like a failure.

the saying goes: as we grow older, we grow wiser.
of course, there'll be the superficial version of "grow up already will become more good-looking lah!"


i've been reading through my reports and essays written for previous semesters' modules. and i feel utterly ashamed.

not only is my work becoming worse in standard, i don't seem as intelligent as before.
LOLOL. yar, wtf kinda logic is that?
sigh. i really don't know man. that's what i gather from reading so many essays. SIGH.


on the superficial side, i really seemed to have ballooned wonderously WTF and it's not like my boobs grew bigger or what.

those i want to grow, don't grow. those i don't want to grow, ALL GROW. kns. damn coked up leh my body. zzz.

sometimes i wished i had yoyo weight so i can experience the thrill of losing weight quickly despite gaining quickly too.
getting fucking sick of staring at the weighing scale that never changes the numbers.

short crop last time. and....surprisingly thin. zzz. somehow. maybe camera angle huh.

OMG HOW COME MY LEGS SO SKINNY -stab stab stab.

i'm gonna cry lor. now only got pig trotters. SIGH. and my arms definitely ballooned. can do butterfly dance liao. zzz.

and.....WHAT IS THIS???!

so brown in the past! HAHAHAHAHA. and...i think my face was smaller. and smooth hor? HAHAHA no stress no pimples. kaozz. plus the super short hair omggg!!!

boycott the retarded hand gesture ok. HAHAHAHA.

spiritually, i believe i feel more lost than before.

physically, i definitely feel the signs of ageing.

financially, more independent than ever. but still roughly same, no money from parents side. zzz.

intellectually, uncertain. i thought i became better. but writing wise, i seem to have gone down the hill. arghs.

met glenda on my way from bus stop to school in the morning. chatted a bit before we had to go separate ways. HAHA. she noticed my absent braces. and she said i'm "looking good!" HAHAHAH. yar of course lah. first time since school reopen i didn't rush for class. super early today. -beams- (irony leh, cos' i woke up late today!!!)

today bob kept giving me weird glances especially during group discussion HAHAH wtf.

sharul is added into my group last minute because she transferred classes from section B. sigh. what are the odds indeed. out of 5 groups she said "4" and tadaaa we have one new member. CH did not come to class today and bob penalized us for an absent member WTF??!?!?! so unfair ok!!! roarrr. forget it.

i have an amazing discovery. i've realized the odds of something happening in my life (especially undesirable ones) are VERY HIGH. wtf.

it's like...i bet if i bet i won't strike lottery, the odds are damn high lah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. correct? i'm a genius.

haven't been jogging/running since i fell down. wtf. it's been pouring everyday when i reach home. should try my luck tomorrow.

work awaits. and i've found a new lifeline in WS.

i just wish i were more motivated.
should...start..eating...lesser...

i think my fats are like stubborn fats. maybe i REALLY need lipo wtf.

how can be die die also no weight change. die die also can't lose those handles? damn pekcek.

and stop saying i'm not fat. i know my body better than you.

plus, being zilian does not mean i think i'm pretty. i just like to take pictures to annoy people because my face is so annoying. HAHAHAH. aye whatever lah.

must do work.

losing my head is easy.
securing it back between my shoulders is one tough mission.