cos' when things don't seem to matter anymore; when you feel like you've lost everything u can lose; when you feel like it's just gonna get shittier and you cannot do anything about it.
i cannot stop thinking somehow.
the underlying reasons behind the things i do.
why then, do i even try?
try so hard, and still lose what matters most to me.
try so hard, and still never will be as lucky as the rest.
maybe when i don't try at all, they'll fall in place. because it seems like that's what's happening.
i don't try, they come falling to my feet. i just have to pick them up.
yet, the more i try, the more efforts...they seem to be thrown far away..by an invisible force.
i'm so tired of picking myself up. because people see and think i'm a strong and independent soul. yet i have my weak times. and i struggle, like any other normal girl. i struggle cos' life just isn't as easy as others.
but don't worry, i'll just let the rain fall down on me...get drenched.
i'll stand there, and wait till the rainbow appears across the sky.
but what if it rains in the night?
the rainbow will never appear.
i'll never find my answers.
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