bigyellowshiningstar.: i'm such a failure.

only nehneh will truly know what a failure i am. i feel so sorry towards all the people involved. hai. i really tried my best; will continue to try my best, until i become a pro in it. THEN, i'll tell you guys what is it that i'm a failure in. SIGH.

anyway, this is the style i'm looking at. really chic carefree but sleek style. can someone please make my legs become like chopsticks too? and make my hips 2 size smaller than now. and find me a damn dressy blazer WITHOUT PADDINGS wtf.

today i went around all the shops and possible blazers feeling for paddings. -_-''' all have lor. dulans.

actually the bag and headphones are really nice too. =D considering that i need a new pair of earphones/headphones, i wouldn't mind if FOR MY BIRTHDAY (i'm so shameless) i get a really cool stylish pair (working condition with considerable sound system of cos' lah) for my deprived ears =D.

that was a really huge hint.

alternatively, this is pretty nice too. more of a kawaii factor i guess. i would have preferred a black blazer which is longer.

anywayyyyy, this is da dong!!! whee. (yar as if people reading my blog don't know already wtf)

so sweet right? if he give me flowers now, i bet i immediately get well soon! HAHAHA. aye. but don't have. that's why i'm as sick as a ______(my similie sucks). oh ya, i noticed at my favourite flowers weren't inside, so i guess it's not that nice lah the bouquet. HAHAHA.

who cares. i only see the face. =D

actually i feel damn sad sounding so bimbotic and superficial...but this is how the world functions doesn't it? i feel sad for myself because i wouldn't say that i am above average in terms of appearances (facial and physically). and i wouldn't dare say i'm pretty (asides from the times i become bhb to annoy people or to play along with people's jokes).

i daresay though, that i have very low self-confidence. and i feel sad for myself. i wouldn't deny that it's inferiority complex since young (being labelled as the less pretty sister compared to my elder sis). and despite me telling myself that inner beauty is important, i cannot push away the fact that......the world still ultimately cares more for outer beauty too.

let's be practical and stop our "angel" voices from saying "it's not true! i value inner beauty more!" because it's basically bullshit. -_-'''

everyone likes pretty things.

which is why, i feel like i'm constantly fighting in this journey to become prettier. or at least veer away from the way i look now(which ain't that desirable).

in fact, i admire how people can be so confident of themselves. confidence is all that matters right? as long as you're confident, you'll look good. that's what they say.

start by loving yourself.

i'm gonna start loving myself; hence start working on improving myself.

i'm gonna be 21 soon. i need to breakaway from me.

look at how i never stop rambling. aiya don't care lah. whoever reads this blog should know my weaknesses by now. -shrugs-

random picture taken while waiting for nehneh to come out of her dressing room from topshop. wtf i realized i'm becoming more and more like a man. waiting outside for my girl friends to try finish their stuff. someone please save me. i don't wanna be manly =((((.

HAHAHA. i don't know who's so retarded to carve out this entire thing on the back of a bus seat. but anyway, i wouldn't advise anyone from calling the number. i just wanted to highlight the fact that he/she carved DESPERADE instead of DESPERATE.