pictures galore.

the picture says it all.
completed my 12 hours sleeping marathon yet again.



on a random note, i received a rare sms from zihao while i was still deep in my slumber. haha! rare!

and i received an even more rare invitation to go studying with yh bro. dammit. im glad we are finally talking. i was just about to give up on him. trust me, i really was. it's not easy trying to make someone open up. someone like him. :) but it's gd cos' the friendship you built from that stays strong most of the time.




sometimes i wonder why all the hoo-ha over bloggers. student bloggers. *sigh* it's quite sad really, cos' at this time of our lives, the more you don't want us to do something, the more we will do it. don't you adults get it? we are practically young adults already. i'm sure what we write hold certain truths in them. why not investigate the truth first before condemning us? maybe you are just scared. scared to find out that the truth is truth. HAH.

decided to upload some pics from a phototaking spree in the reading room. cos' yun ma brought her cam to school.


eh, last time i bring camera to school then my friends say very cool leh!"-yun ma proudly claims.
"when was it?"-me.
"ehh..few years ago la."


-_-'''

but luckily it's not those humongous cameras that u need films to develop. =D


"why today so special bring?"
"aiyo, today is the day i know most people from our class will come ma."

HAHAHAHA. ok, actually it's not that funny, but it's more of sad. my friends tell me that their classes are virtually full attendance everyday.


"going to graduate liao..must treasure the time we have left together.."



hmmmmm.

here goes..these pictures are REALLY interesting. *grins*







from top left going clockwise:

me, yun ma, haoz(with a mysterious vek, go spot him yourself);
some of my lovelies;
me and my lis-bian partner :D;
a very cute ziwan;
innocent photo? ziwan ah..tsktsk;
yun ma, francis, zw, berd;
the four guys;
and the outcome;
a cute berd?






from top left going clockwise:

the gayful-s;
evidence 1;
evidence 2;
zw with someone's "muscles"


really regretful i did not participate much with the photo-takings, but nevermind, cos' i spent pretty much of my time talking to monz. *sigh* we both exams stress also. gotta work hard already, yea? :) anyway, i'm still quite upset with my hair. think when it grows out again, i'll get a good trim from ANOTHER hairdresser.

nevermind la, i'm sure got more time to take pics one..=)

anyway, i'm going to start my "tape-marathon" when sis comes back. HAHAHA. we tape the shows for the entire week and watch them all in one go. YAYS!

i better go get a bath. i stink.

:)

i LOVE thursday nights.

because it marks another LONG WEEKEND.

starting from...like now!

:)







did i mention that my hair is screwed up? or perhaps it's just me. i look terrible. terribly terible.







and i still haven't shit.

terrible.

it's really terrible.
my day in school was just a mere few hours, and we got back 2 papers already.

the first was econs. i pretty much screwed up as expected. but i deserved it, for hardly 2 days of studying. *sigh*

i AM upset. i am VERY upset. who wouldn't? screwing up your favourite and used-to-be best subject isn;t top on ANYONE'S priority list.

i fucked up my essay section. I FAILED MY ESSAYS!! can you like believe it? probably first time in history. arghhhhs!!!

i cannot hold back my frustrations and utmost desperation. something is wrong. and it's quite obvious that something is me. gotta do something about it.

very bad. *sigh*







then we received news that geog paper was so be returned that same day. apparently we had to wait till 3pm to get back our papers. so i was like "what the hell? i 'end school' already lor! stay for what!" and i decided to give it a miss.

besides, the probability of passing a paper that you started studying only the NIGHT before the paper was around 0.000000000000000000001. (ok, i'm a maths 1 percentile maths student, but you get the picture right?) so why wait for soooo long just to get back a paper that you are very sure would fail?

i headed out of school with winnie, white ass and syaffy when the J1s ended their paper. and i spent the rest of my day in mac's trying to study.

but yun ma had kindly offered to help collect our papers and check our scores. so when she messaged me to tell me my results...

"hey..you got 53 overall.. (and i went.."must be sent wrong sms" in my brain) 60 for paper 1 (and i was pretty much like "WAH BIANG, CANNOT BE ME LA") and 46 for paper 2..( "HUMAN PAPER FAIL LEH..CMI...")


sighhhh. yes, imagine my shock and amazement in macs no less. i was gaping like a goldfish. nono, no exaggeration here. i was GAPING.

hey, i DO know the results are lousy by MANY people's standards, but for someone who studied less than 12 hours for both her papers, IT IS VERY GOOD ALREADY OK!

i studied one optional topic for both human and geog, which leaves me able to do ONE essay question in the entire paper. so when i saw i got 60 for physical geog, i couldn't believe it. seriously. god forbid my happiness.

REALLY MUST CHECK MY PAPER TML. sculy switched paper with someone else. BAH!!!


presentable but not grades to be proud of. EEOF. OEEF. FEEO. OFEE.

so much more room for improvement. so much more.

to all who have done well, congrats. to those who haven't, it's time we "wake up your idea" and start to buck up.

sighhhh.












did i mention studying in mac today was almost intolerable.

there was this group of really RETARDED and JUVENILE Kent Ridge kids that irritated the hell out of me.

i don't mean to slam everyone from that secondary school. in fact, i have no such intentions at all. i only happen to detest that particular group which really almost made me blow my top. i was very very very very irritated.

the table beside me was peacefully quiet and empty for many hours until THEY CAME. it was fucking terrible from then.

at that time i was trying to get some geog stuff into my puny brain.


"Den-dro-chro-nology......[insert GIGGLES..tmd, laugh then laugh la, giggle for what.]the study of annual [insert more giggles]growth of tree rings.....

tree rings present [insert not-guy-not-girl-laughter-from-the-cannot-make-it-shortpants-secondary-school-guys]with relatively warm and wet [insert shrieks]climates...

hmmpfffffffff....may not appear when climate is unfavourable...[insert LOUDER shrieks and more GIGGLES..can you believe guys giggle also!!! grrrr]"


wah lau. i'm too pissed to continue. but it was quite obvious they were LOUD and undesirably loud. the girls talk like speakers like that. GUY SIT BESIDE YOU YOU NEED TO YELL AH, siao char bor.

kanasai. the worst thing was yet to be.

one of the guys decided to mix some leftover food in his mcflurry cup. then he started to wave the spoon around the girls.

*SHRIEK*
*SCREAM*
*GIGGLE*
*LAUGHTER*
*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEK*

[insert very bimbotic "oei don't want lahhhh"-s in between all mentioned above.]

but the final straw came, when the boy started slapping the spoon full of goo-ey disgusting stuff on the table and chairs.

*piak**splat*piakpiak**splat*

and when the last *piak* he did resulted in a GLOB of thing flying in MY direction..THAT WAS IT.

i was so pissed my head practically snapped as i turned to glare at him. wah biang, super long never diao people until like that( last time was during secondary school).

so i gave my killer-very-pissed-don't-mess-with-me-again diao.

and guess what? that cowardly boy was so stunned he froze for a moment, then he attempted to hide the spoon behind his back--which of cos' failed since i already witnessed everything. and when i continued glaring at him, he shifted uncomfortably and threw the spoon down on thr tray infront of him. the others also grew quiet la. man, that silence was like gone the moment they entered.

then they almost made me laugh in delight and clap my hands in joy.

because they all grabbed their bags and scampered away like mice.

WAH LAU, i almost died smirking.
where got people like that one? so boisterous but so scared just cos' of one diao from ME??! of all people, ME LEH. i so scary meh?

*grins*

but good ridance. if i go tomorrow and they see me again, i bet they will not come near me again. thank god.

buey tahan.






then on my way home, i saw the indian lady as mentioned in my previous entry(read: exploding) on the bus on the way home! at first i did not notice her and vice versa. then we happen to glace at each other at the same time, then i was pretty surprised la. i saw recognition registering on her face at the same time i was trying to place that familiar face.

hahahaha. really funny. then she came over to talk to me. i was grinning away la, cos' she kept smiling at me. i think she likes me. =D she asked me about my school and stuff la. hahaha, very nice lady.

/at home

"ehh daddy, i saw your client's wife leh."
"really? what she said to you?"
"nothing much..just talked abit.."
(mum)"ya..from the last visit she seems to like you alot"
"ya..mei ban fa..wo ren jian ren ai ma!" (meaning no choice, people see me sure like me, loosely translated.)

dad and mum:

-_-'''

somemore we were having dinner. they almost puked out their food. violent reaction. don't they simply lur-ve me??

*grins*





so that's about it. just an update to show i'm not dead yet!
*waves hands madly*
=D





BEST FRIEND JC: WHERE IS MY CD???!!!!!!
I WANT IT!!!!
ROARRRR!

blogblogblog!

i must admit that blogging has helped me release certain tensions and unhappiness, but the truth is that it really is taking up too much time.

even when i am not blogging, i'll be surfing other blogs, doing nothing and everything.

ah, the irony.

i need to stop doing this anyway.





today went through mcq for econs. i think i screwed up pretty badly. probably worst in history. and god dammit i probably just managed a F first time for my econs. i hate myself man.

F FOR ECONS??!?!!!

ok, pardon me for my insensitivenes, but take heed that i am failing all other subs and i guess i needed a pass badly. DAMMIT.

how can you possibly fail your favourite subject.

i think i was really depressed during and after the lesson. thanks to winnie who tried to cheer me up. i really tried to hide that disappointment..but i guess i was really..to demoralised.

maybe i am not so much of an econs student afterall.

i had all the while over-estimated myself. yet again.






i really am upset. anyway i skipped the next half of school. to hell with it. i skipped to go swimming and try to forget my woes by turning to the comfort of my bed.

i'm such a pig. no one can fight with me.

i just found dave bro's blog! hahaha. shit don't know still got his hp number or not..he asked me to msg him. hmmmm. shall go check later.

stupid phone stealers.





oh wells, perhaps i should just end it here.

might be gone for a while. really really gone.

gotta upkeep my promises this time. dumb people should put in more effort in their studying. and since i am VERY DUMB, i have to work harder.

*sigh*

i really am upset.

going to get haircut soon.

hopefully it will not turn out horrid.





i'm so tired of encouraging people. why can't i seem to motivate myself???!





to hell with me.

exploding

i seriously am going to burst.

i'm so full that i can't even move!! ARGHHHS.

dad's client invited him to dinner along with the family, meaning we also had to go. and so there i was, trying to entertain them though i was more interested in my jurrasic park show on the tv. hahahaha. i didn't mean to be rude, seriously.

but anyway, i think she liked me fine, because i was grinning and smiling at her. i think smiles and grin can really break certain communication barriers. (oei don't say i will scare people away with my grins and smiles ok!! it's not THAT bad yet.)

anyway, the family consisted of an indian couple, from india. you got me right. from INDIA. i'm not kidding.

so we ate indian food. and i do like it, except i was pretty full. i couldn't stuff myself anymore. and i guess, some things did no suit my taste that well, though i was touched that the woman prepared such a feast for us.

was a pleasant visit i guess. :)








tomorrow school's beginning, and it's another week of getting back our results. how terribly fun and exciting. i better get started on my studies too. sigh, everyone seems to have started long ago. dammit.


btw, congrats to marshy! :) all the best and jiayou ok!!! i have faith that everything will go smoothly for you two!!! GO GO GO!!







i wonder what will be the attendance as school draws to a close in a few weeks time. our class has the most terrible attendance so far. i hope no teacher will complain or what. so irritating.

heard there was a saga during friday's assembly over some SA students who went to starbucks/coffeebean(i forgot which) and created some "trouble" there. apparently the shop manager or someone saw cigarettes on the tables at which they were studying. tsk tsk. i definitely missed the drama and action.

then again, i rahter spend my time sleeping than standing and stoning while listening to the nag. *grimaces*






did i mention i love jurrasic park???! *grins* fell in love with dinosaurs since young, can't blame me. hahahah.

ROARRRRR!

wait, do dinos roar?

BAH!! i'm tired.

constipation.

i feel so constipated because i think i haven't shitted in like 4 days. FOUR FREAKING DAYS!!! a few more days and i think i'm seriously done for. i don't even have that shitting feeling!! this is so not me. i am very sad.





i was laughing so hard with my sister just now, and sneezing combos at the same time. so when i tried to breathe in, to catch my breath, i choked on my sneeze/laughter. now my lungs feel like they have exploded. wait, or did my puny brains just *kaboom*?






yesterday was doing a quiz for education stuff. sigh. super long ok that quiz. but some parts really made me rethink about my life and stuff. there was one question that i took no time to answer. just because i was so damn clear of the answer even without processing through my head.


if one day, your mother would to let you down in a BIG way, how would you feel?

no prizes for guessing my answer.

i clicked "not surprised at all" as my option.






don't come all preachy on me because that is what i fucking feel.
and she has proven me right everytime.

my sister would agree with me on this point. something just happened just now that got her really pissed. really really pissed. sigh.

in fact, i was like freaking upset that she would do something like that. trivial in her eyes, yet she did not fucking understand us at all. how can you call something like that a MOTHER?? if she wants us to love her, i think the basic thing she should do is get to understand us first. we are not who we are 17 years ago when we were toddlers and could only mumble and stutter over our words. we are grown ups with minds of our own. characters and personalities unique in our own ways.

my sister may be more tolerant of her. but i can't being myself to do that. and i'm not sorry. i may regret one day, but i certainly do not feel a single tinge of regret NOW.




let me rant on and on about how angsty i feel. i lost all my pictures all right. the computer man came and reset up my computer. the anguish i am in is like shit-ass feeling. allt he pictures. sec 4 new year, national day, st john pictures..my birthday outing pictures, HOCKEY PICTURES(YOU KNOW GOT HOW MUCH OR NOT?!??!!) and class pictures. i feel so god damn pissed i wanna kill people. i can't control this feeling. i'm so helpless, yet totally blaming. the loss of all that pictures..i don't know how anyone can feel the same..you all can tell me memories stay and all that shit. u try telling me that when you are 99 years old and fucking senile.

things aren't just as easy as you see. and don't come telling me "big deal" because i would slap you.
this is my stuff. if you can't stand me whining here then go get a life and stop reading my blog.

















all my friends are so happily in love. can i spill out my dirty little secret?




i think i'm a little jealous.


hahahaha. no seriously, it is nice watching your friends being so happily in love, but sometimes it just feels like i have no one to turn to when in real need. need for comfort, for consolation. i seek help and love from everyone and everywhere who are willing to give me that bit of temporary love at that time. they are not constants. there are no constants. and it makes me jealous that they have constants in their lives.

am i being selfish? i don't know. i just feel sad. empty. left out. perhaps it's just me. but friends seem to take priority over partners always. i never "zong se qing you" before. and i probably expect the same out of my friends too.

the monica incident taught me otherwise. yet what she went through at the most recent case rendered everything different. and i was glad and happy. and she was too. for she realised some important stuff that she did not know. and she told me that. it warmed my heart to know that she had realised that on her own.


but perhaps this realisation will not come until its too late for others.

i'm just tired perhaps.

seeking solace from random sources.

hoping to find a true place to reside my troubled soul. i'm tired of wandering.

sometimes i think i just hope there is a place where i can settle and call my constant. sometimes.



yet there are times where i am so strongly defiant and independent it scares me.

the conflicting wants within me puzzles me too. what do i really want?

perhaps i'm still searching.

so let that be. it's night, and i'm thinking too much.

be with me, my beloved love.

firstly, before people say i'm a spoiler, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE MOVIE BE WITH ME. because i'm going to be selfish and starting commenting on my after thoughts of the movie...



i must declare that it is a DAMN GOOD MOVIE. despite it having not much sentences in the movie, (i think less than 20 sentences in all) the actions spoke alot. plus there were subtitles to aid those who did not understand to better comprehend certain parts. the directing was superb. many shots captured my heart. there was a simple shot of a profilic view of a old man, the shot was good because it really captured the contours of that wrinkled face..really got me for a moment. heh. ok, quite irrelevant, but i'm impressed by people who can direct well. :)

anyway, i teared at certain parts of the movie..and i must admit that being a little slow, i did have trouble catching the starting f the movie. there were a few stories in that movie, talking about different themes on the search of different kinds of love(that's what i think la). i was having difficulties understanding the old man story.

BUT i finally understood at the last part in the shop house whereby the wife finally left him. the old man is finally able to put behind the death of his wife...it was really a very sad scene. so i finally understood that that old woman always silently by his side was actually his wife who had passed away. and i was still puzzled why he give her food she don't want eat. BLEH. ok la, i'm a slow, i admit what!!

the worst part was at the ending which really got me ALMOST weeping. dammit. so sad can???! who can stand an old man weeping his heart out. who can tolerate the sight of a old man with tears rolling down his eyes at the death of his wife..who can just watch and feeling NOTHING??? men don't tear everyday, and when they do, it's for things they really care about. i was touched beyond words. (abbas was laughing at me for weeping. BAH!! but he also teared la, think he got some heart :D) sigh, i think im complementary entry about this movie will never be good enough to meet that of the movie itself. GO WATCH IT!!!

now, about the controversy over the LIS-BIAN part of the movie. i was drooling half the time at the two girls can??! ok, i was trying VERY HARD to concentrate on the movie too, but really, put two eye candies together and i bet most people(especially guys) cannot keep their eyes off them. but that story was rather upsetting, considering the fact that it was about two girls on the self-discovery jounrey of what love is about. and more importantly, perhaps the sexuality they are attracted to. one girl apparently drifted away, discovering more wonders with the males, while the other girl(ezanne lee) was still very attached to the girl who had left her. in fact, she was so depressed she decided to tiao lou. tsk tsk.

and what happened after that really got me so "WTH???!" until i got nothing to say.

first, let me talk about this security guard who was featuring in another story. he seems rather timid, and some might even call him "useless". but i totally disagree. cos' you see, i believe everyone has their own inhibitions. there is a certain part of us, that is often unleashed until we overcome ourselves. and this guard, happens to be a take-everything-quietly-and-leave-it-as-it-is kind of guy. he doesn't dare to do much. but he fell in love with a woman. and he mustered alot of courage before he managed to write a letter to her, confesing about his love. it was a huge step to me, for him to be able to take this action.

there was even a scene whereby he was taking the lift to downstairs. and he saw this stupid father who kept hitting his son on the head. i think he was infuriated inside, and he imagined himself beating up that man for abusing the son. but he didn't la. but i think that scene showed that everyone actually has a side of themselves that they don't now about, a side that will do things they never expect themselves to do.

so anyway, GUESS WHAT? he was on his way, brandishing his letter like proud little kid, when ezanne who was deciding to fall down threw her handphone down from the top of the building. it fell infront of the guard. so he bent down to pick it up. AND GUESS WHAT?? THAT GIRL FELL ON HIM. SHE DID NOT DIE, HE DIED!!!!

tell me, how absurd is that? what are the chances of that happening??! i'm speechless man. SIGH. but forget it la, cos' i don't know what will be the ending even if he does get the letter to the woman he loves. will he be rejected? will the woman accept him?

sighhh. he really very poor thing lor..with such idiotic brother and father. GRRRR! when the father threw the beer can at him, i wanted to slam a cuttung board on his head. WHERE GOT FATHER LIKE THAT ONE!!!

wah, make me very angry. ok nevermind.

of cos', there was the true life story of a lady who was blind and deaf since a tender young age. her courage and bravery in facing the difficult road in front of her amazed me. it inspired me indeed.

anyway, the movie was good. trust me. it made me think alot. not everything i've typed in here la. too lazy. and too long anyway. *shrugs*














ok, here can read liao. today was the final episode of the nurse show. WAH HAPPY ENDING I VERY HAPPY!! :D
i love rong deji's eyes!!! so nice man. like puppy like that. hahahaha. *grins* i like boys with nice eyes! :DDDD







today's meeting with abbas was a pleasant one. :) enjoyed myself. hahaha, though i was s late we just got into the cinema in time. missed a few minutes of the movie. really sorry! =X

but they didn't even bother checking my ID. hahahaha. think is too rush already. hahaha, practically brisked-walk all the way man. ok, i even ran. super guilty. =(







ok, i think that's the end of my entry. wasted too much time producing an entry which is rather meaningless. hahaha. but i really feel like watching the movie again! arghhhs.







be with me, my beloved love.

sleeping should be made illegal.

sleeping should god damn be made illegal. i can't believe i died on my bed last night straight after getting back from outside.

i had wanted to stay up a while to get some stuff done but apparently i failed terribly. i was so exhausted from the day's events that i collapsed on my bed. my initial plan was to get up at 1230 to get some work done. BUT i slept my way to 11am the NEXT MORNING. dammit.

i had initially planned to skip school, so it wasnt that bad.

BUT SLEEPING HALF MY LIFE AWAY IS FREAKING BAD CAN???!!!

very very upset.







anyway, since i woke up, i decided to go swimming. hahahah. lazed around the pool attempting to get a decent tan. turned out that it failed terribly too. i can't even see any difference in skin colour. =(


there is like a huge pimple IN THE CENTRE OF MY NOSE. that's depressing. of all places...bulls eye in the middle!! *sigh* nevermind. shall stop whining.

turn out for yesterday was so bad it hit a second record bottom of 6 people. (plus that half-the-time-missing best friend, can consider 8 la) the RECORD bottom was 4. it was so bad i decided to give school a miss today. tadaaa! here i am.

anyway best friend really amazed and stunned me with his agility. HAHAHAHAHA. you know while we were lazing around to decide where to go after school with the ocip people. i saw best friend. and i chatted with him for a while. he did not turn up for attendance taking so i figured miss tan doesn't know about his presence. but it was so freaking funny. cos' miss tan came up to OUR table and started talking to ziwan. i was furthest away from her and nearest to best friend. so i look at ziwan's direction, then turned back to tell deepan something i thought he ought to know because he was STILL sitting beside me.

i nudged him.

"oei, miss tan leh."

that's it man. i NEVER saw anyone so kan chiong before. he practically jumped up from his seat and LURCHED TOWARDS the lower cafe, attempting to leap off the ledge(since we were in the upper cafe). i was shocked i tell you. cos' he was so near miss tan and within visibility somemore, but yet he thought miss tan wouldn't see him after he sitting there so long and oblivious to her presence. then jumping off the ledge and running away got use meh???!

hahahahaha. wierd him. but anyway. miss tan went away and he came back. HAHAHAHA. wah best friend really kills me with his antics sometimes.

then again, dunno he come school for wad :D

speaking of yesterday's events. it was really quite fun. the ocip outing. the usual of us turned up. hahaha, laughed alot. but wasn't as enjoyable as i hoped it would be. sigh. must be all that delay and discussions and stuff.

and they guys were yakking away about their prelims results 3/4 the time. leaving the 4 pathetic girls out in their conversation. super irritated. talking about results is ok, but EVERY SECOND is killer! what kind of outing is it when you simply focus on academaic stuff anyway.

did surprisingly well for gp. i mean the results well surpassed my expectations. sighh, meaning that next time(which is the As), i'll probably flunk gp. dammit. it's like econs you know..when you think your results are quite "good" already, then in the end it turns out that u barely just passed. now i can't even pass prelims' econs. god damn freaking screwed up.

and i'm losing my momentum to study at an exponential rate. SHIT.

really shit. i wonder when can i survey this screwed up mess i am in now and decide to pluck my ass back to the chair and seriously start studying before i regret for the rest of my life.

maybe i should take a trip down to the library and get spurred on by the sight of the studious and mugging NJ, RJ, HC students. definitely will stress me to study one lor. stupid.





see? i'm back here at the blog. really bad promises. but to hell with it. i'm fucking depressed.


i think i should cut my hair soon. it's terribly unkempt.

and my jian fei da ji hua screwed up so badly i probably have to change it's title to DA CHI DA JI HUA. heh.

jian fei jian fei. need to cut off those fats!!!




off i go. too lazy to blog appropriately anyway.

sleeping is best on my bed.

i have decided to make my entry titles as irrelevant as possible, unless the entry is really important or something. besides, i sidetrack so much i might as well not have a relevant title.

HAH.

anyway, i'm amazed that all my entries got posted, when i thought that all would have been rejcted. something wrong with my blog i think. i took like 15 minutes facing the page where it says "this may take a few minutes to load, especially if you have a large blog" and i got so pissed off i was whining to white ass on msn.

sigh. apparently, despite it being 0% for 15 freaking minutes before i got pissed off and closed to window, it managed to save! now now, i might just take white ass's advice to "give technology a chance".

hahahaha. better not disappoint me again.

so today was terrible. i went through the day feeling like a half dead human being just cos' i was so freaking tired. i had went to bed at 1am, planning to catch at least 4 hours of sleep before i woke up to go to school. in the end??? i spent one hour plus laying there WIDE AWAKE and staring at the mattress above me(since we sleep on a double decker and sis sleeps above me). i got so bored i attempted to play the handphone games which i have broken the stupid highscores for like 458987263 times. frustrating indeed.

dammit. i hate my body clock. too much late nights have ruined me.

got back physics paper 3. failed. WOO HOO! but hell, it's my best results so far this year and im proud of it. jst hope i can at least add a freaking 40 marks to my present score for my As. hahahahah. maybe in my dreams! :D NB, nothing much i can do la, only can TRY to work hard la. super slack now.

got home wanted to swim but there were some air-con servicing uncles around and i did not fancy the idea of changing while they were present. in the end, the sun was gone by the time they left. BAH. no tanning session.




there is ocip lunch outing tml!!! *grins* i'm excited!!! hahahaha. over what i have no idea, but heck, i'm excited la! so sue me.

ziwan pierced her eyes and got new shoes. and i embarrassingly reacted very dumb-ly in response to my realisation. sigh, what's new anyway. i'm the unglam queen.



berd and i took the same bus home. i was so freaking tired i fell asleep on the bus. i think that banana did too. so when i woke up and found berd's house whizzing by and saw him still sleeping i decided to be NICE and call him to wake up, so that he will not miss his stop by alot.

HE LAUGHED AT ME.

tmd. hahahahaha! people trying be nice leh.

like how i just GRINNED when i saw his new haircut and instead of a cheery "good morning", you know what he said? classic man. never heard this since i left jj and did not see mingchee. hahahah.

last time was:

"good morning!"
"KAO BEI AH!"

-_-'''


that berd incident went:

*GRINS* (<--grin only lor!)
"NABEH. LAUGH WHAT LAUGH!"

o_O#$%^#$#

hahahaha. luckily i was too stoned to bother anyway. mornings are terrible. i'm NOT a morning person for nuts.




gonna hate this week, and the next. the results are terrible. but i deserved them.



somehow, it does take alot effort to convince MYSELF i am actually NOT dumb.


i just ate chocolate icecream. they say chocolate is supposed to make you feel happy. (some people say it's even better than sex...tsk tsk) but i don't feel particularly happy now. i feel very sleepy.

wanna sleep.

so i didn't starve myself afterall. MISSION FAILED.

but i AM working on it ok! hahahaha. JIAN FEI DA JI HUA!!!




have you seen the new ipod NANO? it's freaking orgasmic just to see. sleek, slim, light, classic and yet simple. you know it's terrible cos' i feel like i'm having an affair with it while attached to my shuffle. :( but it's relatively afforadable too! i mean, it's cheaper than i thought it would be, and a new product somemore! :D

ok la, i shall be faithful.

no more sinful indulgence.

i need to revamp this place. the layout and design is pathetic! i started this blog because i didn't think i'll bother to keep it updated, so i pretty much did not care how it looked. but look at me now! (no, not those fats!) i'm practically updating everyday, despite the lack lustre content.

oh look! i did not use a single vularity at all! i'm so proud of myself! :)






yun ma wants to be a pilot. -_-'''
i hope it's some temperamental thing that she has gained interest in, cos' i simply cannot imagine the horror and trauma passengers would go through sitting on her *vroom vroom* plane. can turn 360 degrees in the air somemore. COMMERCIAL PLANE LEH, MISS! tsk tsk.





ahhhh, realised more and more people having blogs. the controversy man.

might be gone from the blogo-sphere for some time. depends. just think i need some time to reconsolidate my thoughts. it hurts so much to read through my entries and realise how mch hidden sorrow there is. perhaps all i'm looking for is somewhere i can NOT hide what i'm feeling.

but then again, known for my fickle mind and short interests in EVERYTHING, i might not even hold up to m words.

we'll see then.

heaven sent.

* says:
and just to let u know
* says:
i'll rather choose friendship over relationship anytime lar


awwww. so sweet right?? :)


and when i was complaining that i don't get to listen to his piano playing, and that he owed me a piece since my birthday...

* says:
okok i'll make sure u are the 1st to hear me once i regain my touch OK!!

:) OK!



and while cheering me up...


* says:
u like very troubled leh
* says:
are u sure u are ok
* says:
don cry * if u are *
* says:
* and hope u are not *
* says:
lemme give ya something to cheer u up
* winks:

Play "Kiss" (YES IT'S THAT MSN FLASH THING -_-''')


* says:
like it?

me says:
......
me says:
i need to go find detol
* says:
y
* says:
i treat u to coffee..don drink dettol..not nice one
me says:
...
me says:
CLEAN MY CHEEK/MOUTH/whereever you kissed
* says:
cheyyyyyy
* says:
of cos if mouth lar
* says:
cheek where got sincerity


(* is used to FULLY replace someone's nick considering the utter horror he will face when he sees this. :D)


oh god. you know sometimes i thank heavens for sending me such great friends. :) thanks loads really! appreciate it alot. you really made me smile finally! :)

just wanna rmb this moment. hahah, friendship cannot take for granted man..don't wanna forget this!


AND EH, i was having orgasm listening to mayday, not cos' i was doing anything ok! hmpfff. dirty-minded fellow. :P

annoyance.

you see, my initial plan was NOT to start my entry with such a lousy title, but i do feel annoyed now, and i'm so angry because i have no idea where it came from and how to make it go away.

it's like no matter how hard i try, annoyance seems to find me even when i'm trying my best to be happy!

my day started out fine, abeit me feeling sleepy and all. i managed to roll off my bed and hurry through my bath, only to feel the urge to shit before i leave the house. and so i shat. so i was late. but bishi made me later because she wanted me to wait for her train to come to my station before i can board any train that came earlier. so i waited. and both of us were late together. :)

sorry to marshy for waiting for so long and kindly walked all the way back to meet us. heh. i guess girls do have a way of coming in fashionably late.




shopped. did get some stuff. two tops and a necklace. quite pleased with my purchase. at least i did not try defy my own style and go girly because i can't carry off girly clothes for nuts. stuck with tshirts and a polo tee lor. both white. *gasp* WHITE!!! not brown, not navy green!! amazing feat, i say, for myself.

the necklace is nice, although i pretty much paid a bomb for it, but the colours did match what i was looking for.

and the harley davidson tee did make my day! hahaha, cos' it was like 50% off!!! so cheap!!! where to get!! hahahaha. damn, i'm such a sucker for certain brands. and i declare i'm not brand conscious. my shit.

then was the translucent but very nice vintage-lookalike polo tee! :) i'm pleased over that purchase too, but im still thinking of ways not to er..show too much.







still got alot things yet to buy. =(




now, let me relate my entry to my title. why am i annoyed?

because my father is erasing everything i have in my lappy, which includes 6 years or more worth of pictures!!! PICTURES FOR GOD SAKES. and i have NO BACKUP! i'm horrified. i'm deflated. i'm upset. and i can do nothing. why???

because the moment i switch on my computer, it HANGS. yes, EVERYTIME i switch on.

i'm so exasperated. and then the annoyance arises. because i do not understand why he cannot send the lappy to service and i'm sure the person there can find a way to back up my files.

see, i'm very pissed now. but i'm determined not to use any vulgarities.

i think i annoy myself most of the time.

i hate it that my character is so strong. i clash with too many people. i piss people off when i'm pissed. god, i'm such a bitch. but that's me. pampered since young, I GET MY WAY OK. but now, doesn't seem to be the case. i AM struggling to be more independent, to prove people wrong. people they once said i'm like qian jin da xiao jie and i certainly do not want people to see me as just someone who is pretty much brainless besides all the money she has. not that i'm rich of course.

you see, that is why i hang out with people who are willing to tolerate my bitchiness and temperaments. because i believe, i do have my positive and negative points too. everyone does. we cannot just judge one by one single action that they did. i don't believe in that. i hardly discriminate people, unless they irritate the hell out of me for like 10000 times.

what goes around comes around i guess.

what we think is good for us now, may not be so in the future. like why people around us can tolerate our behavious now, but perhaps not so when we enter the society.

i'm learning, i still am. i do try. but i do lose my step along the way. so pardon me, for whatever misgivings and wrong doings. i AM really sorry for all the hurt and anger i've caused that was really unintentional. i do pray for forgivence too.

sighhh. i really do not have much to blog about now.



i don't even know what's the meaning of privacy in this world.

too much that we cannot see physically but are actually present.






i don't like to be ignored. if you decide not to talk to me, i think the basic courtesy is to come up with excuses like you are busy or you are on the phone or you are doing something. cos' at least that's what i do.

i think i'm asking for too much again. to hell with it.

NB. i'm not someone you can pick up and look for when you are down and throw one side when you don't need me.




so sick of all this shit.

god help me. i can't believe i'm such an emo wreck now. when things seem to be spiraling out of control, they ARE spiraling out of control. don't tell me everything is ok, because you are not me and you are not going through the shit i experience.

so let me wallow in self-pity.

till then, so there.

retail therapy!

now, i shall ponder outloud first: WHY ARE GIRLS ALWAYS LATE?

*frowns*

i am a girl myself. and over the years, i've found myself to become more and more fashionably late. HAHAHAHA. i think it is every girl's rights to be late for a while la! *grins*

BUT! today's lateness was cos' of oversleeping, and plus some shitting stuff i had to settle before rushing out. plus bishi wanted me to wait for HER train to arive and ME to board HER train. hahahah, and worst thing? that bimbo SAT all the way to orchard, i STOOD all the way to orchard. talk about kong rong rang li man! =(

hahahaha, joking la bimbo.

anyway, today shopping was good! got tops of other colours instead of the usual navy green and brown! *gasp* i got not one, but TWO white tops!

and they say white makes you look fat.

i think i'm going to starve myself for 1 year to regain my past skinniness. HAHAHAHA.

eh, i'm serious. i need to slim down like hell. too much already. i think i'm easily fatter than any guy i know. oh god.







i loveeeee my harley davidson t-shirt! =D lalaaaa! and i love my polo tee. but im still finding ways to make it seem less translucent. and the necklace!! woO hoO!!! ok, i am sounding like some ulu idiot who never shops, but i'm just happy and satisfied over my purchase ok??

still left alot things yet to buy. =(










want to blog alot about what happened today. but ma needs to use to com. *sigh*

shall retire for now.







i'm going to starve myself!!!


:)

GRRRRR.

although its 1:50am right now, and im supposed to be in bed since 90% of Singapore's population is, i CANNOT SLEEP! all because i happened to chance upon my friend's blog and read something that really boiled my blood.

IM INFURIATED!

you see, one of the cons of blogging, is perhaps that people can remain anonymous about their identity. people can leave bitchy comments about others and yet remain undiscovered. this sort of degrading and despicable actions, i've yet to stoop so low yet. i've always believe that when you want to say something, LEAVE YOUR REAL NAME AND BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

i simply detest people who leave comments under stupid nicknames like darkangel or even whiteangel whatever shit. it's nothing but a loser notion. i wonder when will these people grow up and think with abit more maturity. perhaps it's too much to ask for now, in this blogging world.

comments run strife. we hardly care what others say about us, because perhaps we are faced with too much comments everyday. be it positive or negative ones, they are flying around every second, like it or not. maybe i'm just being rash here, blogging about how lame and retarded these people are, resorting to such means just to insult people and not get caught.

BUT, i seriously think there is something wrong with such people. it renders me COMPLETELY SPEECHLESS at their cowardness! what is this world coming to? are we people who are afraid to stand up for what we said? even more so when we just insulted someone, and are SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF OUR PANTS to get found out and slammed by the owners of the blog? or maybe the owners will not even bother to slam them back, because i believe most of us are civilised people.

TELL ME. BUCKED TEETH GOT PROBLEM ISSIT??!! FUCK OFF LA. i can't stand it when people call names. please do uphold the basic respect and pride within yourself before you start calling other people mean names based on their appearance. a JOKE is fine. but NOT WHEN YOU FUCKING INSULT PEOPLE.

im so pissed. im even more pissed than the owner of the blog. just because this person is my friend and i feel the need to stand up for his stand. HE SIMPLY BLOGGED ABOUT HIS DREAMS. what the hell is wrong with you? DREAMING IS A CRIME NOW!??!

i can't believe it. no one has any rights to slam one else's dreams. NO RIGHT AT ALL! are you simply just jealous because you do not have any dreams to speak off? are you just jealous because of any of the capabilities he has? obviously a FRIEND of his would not resort to doing things like that. SO IF YOU ARE NOT HIS FRIEND AND FUCKING DON'T KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH, DON'T FUCKING LEAVE ANY COMMENT!!!

and oh, may i remind you? you VOLUNTARILY read his blog. YOU VOLUNTARILY clicked on his blog to read what he wrote. did anyone force you? did anyone put a gun to your puny brain and threatened you to read what he wrote? i don't think so.

so if you are so free and have nothing to do, perhaps you could do the society a favour by attending some course that teaches you to uphold basic respet for OTHERS as well as for ONESELF. of what you have done, you have undoubtedly lost any (if you had any to begin with) respect for yourself, and others have of you.

DO NOT CRITICISE ME for i cursed and swear in this entry. this is my blog. read what i wrote: did i invite you to read my blog? do i care about your comments? NO!

im fully civilised, until i meet people like you, who i admit shamefully, bring out the worst in me. meeting humans of terrible nature does make me lose my composure at handling things, and this i admit proudly.

but at least i am proud and dare to stand up for what i just said. i meant every sentence.

sacarsm sacarsm. do yo know too much sacarsm can kill you? *shakes head* maybe one day you'll get beaten the daylights out of you just because you made a sacarstic comment infront of some people. maybe you'll even get sued for slander too! oh, the joy i'll experience!

:)

what goes around definitely does comes around.

i can't believe i just wasted my time blogging about how low-class your actions were. you can say what i'm doing is equally low-class, but i don't care. at least you know who i am(see my REAL NAME?) and i simply spoke my mind. oh, is it a crime to you too?

*smirks*

im going to stop now. at least i've made my stand, so like it or not, buzz off and don't you dare provoke me again.

itchy.

that thing on my knee is healing. drying up at least. BUT, it has become VERY itchy!!! someone help meee!! is there anyway to NOT scratch it and cause more harm but can EASE the itch? i'll be VERY grateful towards anyone who gives me effective solutions! :)

hahahah, darn, im super distracted just thinking about tomorrow's shopping trip!!! i WANT TO SHOP TILL I DROPPPPPP!!! thou shall not let bishi the bimbo rule the shopping spree! thou shall get involved!! :D

*grins*






being irrelevant as usual, i shall post an irrelevant thought now. actually, it should not be considered as irrelevant since it always happens to me! *grimace*

TELL ME, WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE CALL WRONG NUMBERS??!! i mean, their fingers are certainly not as FAT as MINE, and they are not as BLIND as ME, and they should have HANDPHONES who very clearly state the numbers and persons they are calling. THEN WHY DO PEOPLE STILL CALL THE WRONG NUMBER ALL THE TIME???

ok i sound violent, because i AM pissed at these people. simply irritating. the worst thing is that they don't call the people they know! they call they people from all over SIngapore! it's freaking amazing how these idiots accomplish that.

take me for example, there was once when this VERY IRRITATING AH PEK called me when i was SLEEPING!!! everyone should know that waking me up from my sleep will indefinitely yield a super irritated and violent girl. much less a stranger. a stranger AH PEK.

oh, did i mention these callers usually speak in hokkien??!

and people who know me will know that i'm an idiot at hokkien.

but they sound pretty much the same everything anyway.

"AH LOOOO! AH HUAT ZAI BO??"

-_-'''

"wrong number, sorry."
and i HANG UP.

barely 5 secondas later...

"AH LOOO!! AH HUAT!! AH HUAT ZAI BO??"

*snarls in my sleep*

"DA CHUO HAO MA LAA!!"

and i attempt to slam down my phone. only that it's handphone, so it's virtually impossible to slam down your phone on anyone.

-_-'''



im so sick of these people. and yes, they usually go around looking for ah huat. and they NEVER GIVE UP until they call at least 3 times!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?





this has gotta stop, i say. getting on my nerves. maybe i can learn how to say "wrong number" in hokkien. maybe they don't understand my english or chinese version.

someone volunteer teach me how to say can??





shit shit. gotta start studying. lagging already. cannot. cannot. cannot. so much to do.






and my body clock is so screwed up! i sleep too much now! i sleep from mornings all the way to noon!!! i study at night where it's not early and not late! how to take exams like that??!!

i don't even want to go school already! *sighhh*






if only there is something i can look forward to in my life. perhaps it wouldn't be so dull and boring as it is now..*dejected look*

shalalala.

im a much happier girl now! afternoon must have been an emo period for me! =X

anyway, all thanks to retard fellow fish sista! *smacks you with my SUPER LONG fin* hahahahaha. stop being high because of the SESEME incident. you are hopeless!!!
one last reminder! please ZHEN XI!!!

HUIFIANG!!! stop acting cute!!! oh man..cannot take it. hahahaha! but thanks for everything ok? appreciate it loads..=)
please consider some nice guys you've mentioned in our conversation! hahahah!!

marshy! jiayou!!! :)

white ass!!! thy shall not get cheated again!! shall suck your blood next time you bluff me! hmpfff.

thomas! you will not read this, but thanks for the encouragements!! i can't wait for the ocip outing!! :)







i can't wait for best friend JC to give me all the discs he going to help me burn! im so happyyyyy! love ya loads man! but I DONT WANT TO MARRY YOU! WAHAHAHAHA!!

can listen to mayday's songs soon!!






ahhh, i think rongdeji and cailing going to break up in the next episode! so sad!!! arghhhs..
nice guys are really non-exsistent it seems!
haahahah.


tuesday going out with bs, roy and marshy! so exciting!! SHOPPINGGGGGGG!!! :P




shalalalalaaaaa!~ no one can stop me from being a happy girl!!!

im going to forget everything sad and concentrate on making people happy! :) i love all my friends, thank you all so much. your efforts may be unintentional and insignificant to you, but it made my day! :)


tired...tired...15hours sleep and counting. i need more and more sleep. VERY BAD. they should have some sleep marathon. sure very easy for me to win.

ahhhh, must jian fei soon! so fat...going...to...burst...

*KABOOOOOM*

short one.

you know, people have been complaining how long my entries are now.
so i shall give a short one now.
i've just found out what has been bothering me for so long.



you see, i used to think that i was close with some people, some people whom i regard as very very good friends and entrust them with everything in my life. my secrets, my worries, my troubles...in short, my ups and downs. and perhaps, i too, have thought too much.

it all boils down to the fact that, maybe i am not as close to them as i thought i was.

these people whom i thought are my absolute essentials in life, are not people whom i look to now. they know nothing about what is happening in my life, they do not bother to ask, and neither will they care anyway.

i would like to stop thinking about all this shit, and perhaps begin my life of solitude.

im breaking up inside so badly. yet i have to pretend im strong. you're right eugene. for all that sexism sentence you said to me before, you are probably right.

"no matter how strong you are, you are still a girl afterall"

perhaps i have overestimated myself. i thought i could take all this shit in my life. i thought i could handle it alone. now i've gone in a directionless search, only to come back and find out that im just not as competent as i would wished myself to be.

im tired, frankly. i wish someone could help me cary my burdens for me. i wish i didn't have so much hate in me. i wish i could take things easy. i wish everything is wonderful again.

even when i close my eyes and count to ten, the world i see when i open my eyes is the same as when i closed them 10 seconds ago.

i know im a selfish bitch. for all i know, 3/4 of the world is probably suffering more than me. but now all i can think of is how lousy my life is. i hate to go home now. i hate to stay home now. im sick of all this shit.

just let me get away from here.

food dash.

today my post shall be about my title. i shall TRY not to digress.

ok..firstly i must proudly state something:

I SLEPT FOR 15 HEAVENLY HOURS NON-STOP!!!!

=D

damn, i feel so revitalised. hahahaha! but of course with alot of screamings amongst my dreams(from parents).

and i heard my father dedicate on air to my mum. today is their anniversary. i forgot how many years already. explains the dinner. but anyway, i heard the dedication then i went to back to sleep. hahahah.

super pig. cannot stand myself. but must make up for the lack of sleep all at once ma! =D




ok, since i awoke at 3 plus 4 in the noon, i pretty much slacked and read sis's magazine. time flew. i wenta bathe.............onl to find out that the wad of tissue i have used to cover m wound have effectivel stuck onto my injury. STUCK. REALLY STUCK i tell you. cos' in the night it had oozed pus, then dried up, TOGETHER WITH THE TISSUE.

i take out until almost died in the toilet. tmd. in the end have to use water to wet the tissue so that it "softens" and i can pluck it out. died while bathing.

did i mention my tolerance level for external pain is zilch? almost close to nil.

i almost fainted when i got my first ear piercings. dammit. super embarrassing. hahahaha. luckily only got my best girl friends around. =)





okok, see i digressed. im the queen of digresser. ALL HAIL JIELIN!!! QUEEN OF TALK COK, TALK SHIT AND FALLS DOWN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!

bahhhh.






ok, so we went to dinner at TAO'S. i don't know what that la. but i heard it's pretty famous and stuff. must book somemore. if not very hard to get places. cos' last time we went there without booking, then the place was like freaking flooded. and we had to wait 45mins. in the end i was dying from hunger so we decided to eat something else. so toda is my first official outing to TAO'S. let me start commenting. it will be rather plain, because the fucking laptop is still spoilt and i can't upload pics. sighhhh. darn, the food was good.

it was a 7 course meal. rather cheap! so guys if you want to go on a simple date, it's affordable!! :)

one point to note though, it's rather more like a eat-finish-and-get-out place. cos' its bursting in its hems most of the time, and the courses comes one after another. NO BREAK. it's like halfway-through-one-course-another-course-come type. so, yup, no time for sweet-lovey-dovey talk. =D

oh, one dish to look out for couples! for both males AND females! DO NOT ORDER THE DISH that sounds something like "wai san". its longish in shape. cut rectangular in dimensions around 2cm by 8cm. why?? because when you bite a piece of it, not whole thing put into mouth to chew, something like your saliva is attached to it and your mouth when you take it out. IT IS NOT YOUR SALIVA!! it comes from the food. BUT its so fucking disgusting looking and you certainly do NOT want your date to think that's your saliva. gross.

man, recalling now, there was this couple who sat next to our table. hilarious. cos' me and my sis did not like that dish(luckily was our parents'..we ordered something else) and tried only one slice. but the GUY at that table ordered one, and he was eating it, and WE BOTH SAW THE SALIVA THING!!! hahahahaha. dammit. we both laughed until stomach pain. cos' we were saying that he sure eat until very gek, trying to act that there is no saliva thing..then must act very poised in front of the woman(his gf). he certainly looks squeamish. hahahah. then he called a waiter over. my sis and i were like imagining what the man was teling him..

"sorry, but could you change my dish? i think it's very unglam to eat it infront of my girlfriend.."
"i'm sorry, but we cannot change it for you.."
"but..BUT!!! the saliva thing really keep sticking to my lips..!"
"ya..im really sorry..the dish is like that one.."


hahahahaha. dammit. i think we both super bo liao..=D that's one thing i love about the sisterhood! :)



back to the food. first course. was something like melted cheese and bacon/ham. it must be accompanied with well-buttered bread(which they provide for you already). SUPER HEAVENLY. i floated to heaven with my first bite! :) RECCOMENDED!!

2nd course was the salad. each of us ordered the 4 different salads and shared. nice nice. there was the fruit salad that is made such that it stands up like an upside down flat bowl of rice. the fruits and crabmeat with salad dressing all compressed together. not bad.
the other salad was potato with tofu and prawns salad. not bad either.
the thrid kind was some thing with 3 small glass containers containing 3 different types of erm..vegetables? hahaha..i have no idea.
the third was that super unglam food as mentioned above.

the third course was the mushroom dish. SUPER NICE I TELL YOU. the entire dish comprises of mushroom only. not those normal mushrooms black black in colour we eat. not those button mushrooms either. its those really flare up at the top kind with a stalk that it freaking long. hahaha. they put like 2 of those mushrooms, with a super long stalk in the middle. but there was this gravy along with it. so when you bite into it, the gravy just oozes out onto your taste buds. and then you fly to heaven. :)

mmmmm...*smacks lips*

next was the mushroom soup! talk about mushroom mania! dad had the SHARK's FIN MELON soup. kian peng him decided that shark's fin more worth it. but it was MELON one,hello??!! hahaha. i don't think it was nice..dunno leh, never try. but the mushroom soup was good. creamy and thick enough. can taste the bits of mushroom too! :)

main course was steak for 3 of us, and cod for ma. 2 medium rare and 1 well done. i obviously took the well done. the previous encounter i had with steak medium done had bood. that's it. i NEVER ate steak ever. hahahaha. but it was relatively ok la. abit tough and dry. hmmm. very pepper-ish. reminded me of yesterday's seoul. very very pepper-ish too. hahahaha.

then amongst the main, our beverages came. i ordered ice summer peach ice! sounds good right? its fucking good. smelt really sweet and the taste was like sweet, a hint of sourness and there were a few pretty and dainty-looking mini flowers floating around. pleasing to the eye and taste bud! :)

the others had 3 other kinds of drinks, but i still loved mine best. very tired so shall not comment on them..heh..

lastly came the dessert. me and sister ordered some creme brulle thingy. was super sweet and creamy. i tell you we almost died from sweetness. it was ultra sweet until you'll scringe up with just ONE BITE. not reccomended for those who cannot take very sweet stuff. even me, the famous lover of sweet food, almost collapsed from the overdose. we did not finish that dish. =P mum had one which was sesame pudding. both sisters agreed it looked like MUD for SPA sessions we saw in Las Vegas show the night before. hahahaha. sis said it taste like dark chocolate.

not to mention the unique way it was brought to us.

"here is your SE-SE-ME pudding. enjoy your meal."


o_O??


both of us were stunned for a while. then.........orhhhhh SESAME laaaa.

hahahahah. see? bad pronunciation can really bring alot of laughter. *shakes head*




ahhh. a very satisfying meal indeed. my belt almost popped. hahahaha. i need to do more crunches tonight. sigh. i can't believe i'm labelled as "plump". that's it man. im super determined to lose weight. at all costs.



since we went out for dinner, i managed to plead for my sis to record the nurse show for me!!!(i don't know how to use that thing la!) just finished the show. hahahaha! super niceee. man, those 2 really freaking sweet. hahaha, how i wish i could believe that very good friends can also become good companions. hahahha. maybe one day?




now for complete digression, hf has decided to come up with some hot stuff thing to set tongues wagging again.

*jielin x bigyellowshiningstar x [ aim high. fly and soar. it's me against myself. (: // have courage] says:
yar*
*jielin x bigyellowshiningstar x [ aim high. fly and soar. it's me against myself. (: // have courage] says:
and they find nice girlfrens most of the time=(
you had me says:
den somenice guy should find me wat
you had me says:
i'm a nice gf
you had me says:
haha


-_-'''


any takers? interested please tag my board and i shall get in touch with you asap! :) hf is very excited to meet anyone who is nice!

and someone likes captain planet. HAHAHAHAHA. really knock-out funny. but hell, i still love CAPTAIN TURKEY! :) aiya, nevermind la, i used to love batman, superman, and i still love spiderman! hahahah. childhood days.


best friend jc asked me to marry him. WAHAAHAHA. i think conversations are freaking funny. so long since i msn-ed. :)





i wanna charge and transfer songs in my shuffle!!!! someone save my lappy!!! *sigh*


i've decided to jia ge you qian, ren hen hao, dui wo hen xi xing den nan ren. hahahah. go figure.












realised really very ugly. tmd. i hate my genes.

im so awake from my 15hours sleep.















sometimes i think im so detestable, until i practically hate myself.

alot of angst in me right now. yet i have to pretend everything is wonderful.







/private. skip this chunk if you don't want to get sucked into my world of hate.
sometimes, when you see me as who i am, cold and unpenetratable, perhaps that is what i am. for a simple reason. i do not want people to know how broken i am inside.

scars can heal. but they are visible for life. you fucking scarred me 3 years ago. and i fucking hate you from that second onwards. i used to pity myself, for not getting your love. for getting my deserved love. then i remember those words that continue to echo in my mind. and i think, why the hell should i care? when u don't care if i die or live. you don't fucking love me anyway.
so hate you. sue me, yell at me, curse me. whatever. i can't hear you. i don't bother to anyway. you are nothing to me. because we are polar opposites, i hate you even more. you can never think in my shoes. you think i think this way because of my self-righteous ways. but i hate you for being rude to elders. i fucking hate you to the core.

don't ever tell me to do anything. i do things out of basic courtesy. no respect involved.

don't ever demand anything from me. cos' whatever i do, i do it for MYSELF, not for YOU.

you are nothing in my life. and im really sick of your presence. just wish i could wipe you off.

your presence, has caused me so much hurt and damage it's probably irreparable. you have made me who i am today. so fucking go blame yourself if you hate me too.















get lost.

im back!

this is going to be a really long entry comprising of many many days events, so if you don't want to read it, then beat it.






ahhh, let's see..where did i stop off my previous entry..well, to start off with, the prelims are over!!! GONE!!! FINISHED!!! =D literally..and well, perhaps REALLY goners already..*sigh* heck la..gonna work harder...

oh ya! i was really touched when eileen msged me to wish me good luck for my physical geog paper! haha..*smiles*

anyway i only studied one topic each for both physical and human geog. can die already. hahahaha. at least i managed to crap my way through pretty much. =( nevermind la, i going to study geog liao..means alot to me...though i used to keep failing geog in secondary school, but miraculously i scored A2 for my Os geog paper despite not doing 2 Qs in the paper. two full Qs. hahahahaha. damn, im a lucky girl then..my ss hist also scored A2!!!! wahhhh. i always maintained a C6 highest lehhh..hahahah..i was SUPER determined to go to arts fac. look where i am now. sighhhh, but you know what, since im technically a seudo-science/arts person, i SHOULD do well for both science and arts subject. *sigh* i hate to say that it's not so. in fact, i think im good at neither now.

gotta take things one step at a time i guess. just keep going. here already.

ahhh, yes, my dad FINALLY decided to get a new com. woO! new and improved, significance increase in efficiency. hahaha! :) but lappy is still dead la..can't do anything with my shuffle =(

going to fail my econs really badly. really screwed up. first time do econs until fell asleep. dammit.

ahhh, some really wierd things happened during exams that really cracked me up. mrs K--- was extremely nice to me by helping me adjust the aircon which was directly above me, and even SMILED and asked me whether it was all ok now. actually, she just shifted the aircon from blowing my legs to my entire body. but since i was trying to concentrate and she was SMILING down at me, just muttered "yes" and went back to my paper. hahahaha. turns out poor winnie was suffering under the air-con AFTER the adjustment too.

ahh, today's geog paper was hilarious. some maths teacher decided to yell into the mike to tell ANOTHER teacher to "check his own class only". omg. i seriously couldn't help but burst out laughing. it was fucking funny. where got teacher like that one??? ok la, nevermind. hahahaha. but it just tickled me. very bad distraction from the preparation of the paper. hahahha.




did i mention i fell down on the day of my physics paper 1 and 2 and my econs paper 1 and 2? it's really irritatingly and idiotically funny. *grimaces* see, the problem with me is that i find everything so funny i can't stop laughing at my idiot-cy. i can NEVER restrain myself from bursting out in laughter when i see other people fall down in front of me. mean? yup, i will not deny that, but i certainly think it's a great thing to be able to laugh at yourself when you do something stupid, like for down for example.

one may ask how did i fall down.
hmmmmm. a really embarassing situation i must say.

you see, jee cheng was asking me how do you convert temperature in degrees celsius to kelvins. so i was thinking and i got really confused of whether it is plus or minus the value. so i checked my notes, while walking down the stairs from the cafe to the track. when i found the correct formula, i turned to show jee cheng. the next thing i knew, i was on the ground. sprawled in an awfully embarrassing fashion. my knees hit the ground. wah, my right knee is the worst. kenna abrasion. hurt like hell. so i was grinning and grimacing at the same time.

the worst thing? THERE WERE SUPER ALOT PEOPLE AROUND ME. we were going for morning assembly's for god sakes. *sighhhhhhh* that was perhaps the most unglam thing i've done this year. very not proud of myself. but anyway, the moment i found myself on the floor, (i was in a state of shock, trust me) i heard alot people behind me going, "ehhhh you ok not???" and many people infront of me turned to look at me in shock. yea yea.

the worst thing? i fell in front of the hockey table. and we all know that the hockey table is full of activity. and the hockey people were heading to the track for assembly too. hahahaha. dammit. paula saw me fell for the second time..

super super unglam.

yuan shen couldnt stop teasing me about the fall for the entire day. and he went around tell people about it. tell nevermind. had to re-enact somemore. just so yuan shen.

pamela started the "act cute" taunting war. stupid idiot. hahahaha, nevermind, i still think she more act cute. =D she hates being called act-cute, and so do i. hahaha, so we irritate each other by calling each other act cute when we do anything individually and the other one is near.

dotdotdot. her logic all wrong ok!!! WHERE GOT PEOPLE PURPOSELY FALL DOWN TO ACT CUTE. bianggggg. she good. she win, this time. she die, next time.

hahahaha.





hmmm, went out today after the paper to meet jieru who wanted to pass me something. turns out to be a bunch of lavender and a card! *clutches at my chest* darn, im REALLY REALLY touched man. i totally did not expect it..*sigh* i wished i had prepared something for you too..=( thanks girl!!! THE BEST PRESTO SISTA!!!! :D love ya to bitssss. still looking forward to a day when i get to stayover! :P

went to orchard with yun ma to meet the other guys. got berd, zh, zy, vek and eileen. oh yea, white ass came later. somehow i did not find the outing very enjoyable. *shrugs* i don't know why, till now, i can still never relate to some people..though i try very hard--not to say insensitve things, not to do insensitive things, but somehow, some people just don't give a damn. THEY give insensitive comments instead. *shrugs* perhaps life is all about taking things easy, dun give so much a damn about anything. i wished i cld take that approach, but i think the feelings of my close friends mean alot to me. not just cos' i want to PLEASE others whom i doubt i care much about. besides, they probably don't care much about me too. such attempts of kind actions are probably one-sided and never requited.

i know i know. they say give but do not expect anything in return. but i simply cannot tolerate ultimate insensitiveness. the worst thing is that one finds it totally hilarious to make fun of one based on the limited knowledge he/she has on the other person. and you know what's worse? others simply laugh along. maybe they are just afraid to stand up for ther friends.

i detest such people. and i detest such behaviour. go get some backbone. im sick of being not-me just to please you. im sick of holding myself down just to make you happy or not hate me or make fun of me. im just utterly sick of being so not me.

please DO NOT fucking anyhow infer from what i typed and think im talking about you. cos' i fucking don't want anyone to accuse me of being insensitive. i just feel this immense dislike now. this huge attitude i have. undesirable perhaps, but im just fucking irritated of how things are sometimes. ignorance is bliss. yet i cannot turn a blind eye to things that happen around me. not when they involve the people i love.





anyhow, i returned to school to prepare to surprise the turkey for HER BIRTHDAY!!! :D went back with yun ma, convinced her to take train with me to harbour when she cld take the train to her station instead. :P WE SAW DEEPAN!!! hahahha, we were going down the escalators and he was like quite far away, camel-walking towards the train platform. actually i wasn't too sure.

"ehhh yun ma!! see, look like deepan leh!!"
"really not??"
"ya, let's go creep up on him and scare him!"
"don't want la, later wrong person how??!"
"aiyya, you see that guy so BL*CK, walk like ah beng, confirm is him la. never see anyhow so BL*CK as him before. CONFIRM!"
"......"

hahahha. shit. HEY IM NOT BEING RACIST OK! deepan is my BEST FRIEND!! :) but he is REALLY tanned la. must be all that soccer and hockey.

anyway i convinced yun ma to run with me to creep up on him. hid behind the signboard for pretty long deciding how to scare him. hahahah. in the end we pounced on him from behind. :P damn funny. he jumped.

"ehhh! you scared ah!"
*shakes head violently* "NONSENSE! where got!!"

hahahha. best friend's pet phrase is "nonsense", i found out. :P so we took to harbour together. 3 of us. then yun ma decided to itchy mouth tell him about our previous conversation. then unfortunately for her, depan thought that SHE was the one who made the "B" comment and immediately demoted her to "best enemy" again! ahahahahah. poor yun ma. hahahah, i just kept quiet, smirking. :P too bad deepan didn't believe that it was me. hahahah! cracked me up, the both of them.

so it turned out that deepan was VERY late to meeting hanis to get the cake. went around to find the PERFECT cake. alot alot of arguments. that stupid best friend decided that it was MY JOB to get the perfect cake. then keep scolding me for not choosing quickly. THEN, he made me go back to school alone with the cake while the two of them "rush around Singapore in 40 minutes to find a present". hanis thinks Singapore is very small, but travelling still needs time. deepan says "confirm enough time la! i confirm!" he thinks deepan thinks he is India. HAHAHAHAHA. i don't know why he got such irrelevant thoughts. a lit student indeed.

WORST. he don't know how to pronounce "mousse". LIT STUDENT LEH. he told me its "MOUSE" or "MOU-SEI".

-_-'''

really not ah? i also don't know how to pronounce leh.

anyway, it was a banana chocolate cake! i hop turkey loved it!

besides, SHE BETTER. hahahaha. ok la, im really sorry i smeared your hair with the cream. =( i wanted to aim for the face only, but you kept moving about ma. hahahaha.

BUT, you returned with revenge of the BIRTHDAY CAKE BASE. ULTIMATE!! hahaha, i was drinking water from the water cooler. then i heard monica yell run! when i looked up, the turkey was flying at me. WAH, REALLY FLY OK. wings flapping and all. AND the base of the cake in her bands. i knew i was doomed.

i tried to run. but suddenly like got alot people infront of me. then to avoid them i had to siam through them. which apparently slowed me down. cos' i felt the base hit my back. DOOMED. the turkey stood there laughing away. that moncia was laughing. horrible ingrate! hahahaha. but ok la, i deserved it! :D the birthday girl is the one with the say!

hope your blouse ain't too bad too! *regret*

:)

love ya girl! i hope u erm, liked our "surprise". hahaha, u're the best captain ever, the greatest friend to have around! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIFANG!!!














ah. monz kindly offered to help me wash my ruined blouse. it was terrible. like i rolled in mud, or a VERY HUGE PILE of SHIT. really disgussting. hahaha. even the muslim stall auntie sympathised with me. helped me clean up abit. thankful really. :) next time buy fruit cake if want to smash people. less damage. hahahaha!

my blouse became totally transparent after that. wet with water. terribly cold and uncomfortable. hahahah. lazed around for a while. then decided to head for dinner after endless, directionless discussions. ended up at harbour front because it was "the central for everyone maaaa". quoted from xl or goh i forgot.

*grins*

anyhow, the time from then was so awesome i literally had cramps at my jaws and stomach from laughing. can say i almost died from laughing. never laughed so hard and genuinely for SO LONG! damn, the feeling is great! :) going out with goh, xl and monz really made my day today. :)

the conversations we had was so full of shit that we ended up in shrieks of laughter after an average of ONE SENTENCE. god, i almost hyperventilated. lack of oxygen. xl stomach cramped. monz became psychotic. goh was ultra loud.

we were talking about the murder of late, the one involving the filipinno maids.

"wah that murder very disgusting lehhh. how she got so much energy to chop up people ah??!"
"aiya, people that are angry can do anything one!"
"hanor! you don't see people si si wen wen actually can be very sick one.."
*everyone turns to look at xl*
*uncontrollable laughter*

"ehh, that 3 women sitting there keep staring at us leh!"
"really ah? we know them meh?"
"don't think so.."
"wahh, stare wad stare, careful i chop you all up ah!"
(that was spoken in a very monica crazy tone, which cracked us up like hell. because we CAN imagine her chopping up people)
and besides, she was VERY loud.

we didn't want people to think that we are a bunch of maniac choppers going around chopping up people who stare at us.

but it was really funny cos' the three women were wearing similar stripped shirts and they kept looking over at us, which bothered them alot. i did not even notice la..hahaha.




"wahhh!! THE DRINK VERY EXPENSIVE LEH! LIKE THAT $1.60 LIAOOO! GO COLD STORAGE 90 CENTS ONLY!" (note: the caps shows how loudly auntie goh was talking)

three of us: -_-'''



"ehhh, i know i very short la! don't keep talking about this topic can?"(goh)
"are you taller than paula ah?"(asked by monz)
"ehhh, i look like right? but paula say she same height as me lehhh!"
"paula must be lying!"(monz)
"jill also around same height right? why she look taller ah? must be she very skinny."(monz and xl)
"HANAR HANAR, I VERY FAT LAAA!"
(please ntoe the caps again)

i am very sure at least half of yoshi knows that goh thinks she is very fat and prefers 90 cents cold storage drinks than $1.60 drinks from the outlet. hahahha. dammit she super funny.

got better ones.

"wah lau you so kiam peng go to toilet drink water from there la!"
"IF I WANT I ALSO GO HOME FROZE THE WATER FIRST RIGHT??!"
*hysterical at this point*
and she THINKS she is CORRECT.

retard monz had to add onto the poor english.
-in between laughters-
"is FROZEN la!!!"

*cmi already. i was bending from all the laughing. my jaw muscles like going to snap anytime*

yes. both of them thought they were RIGHT. it was so outrageous the 4 of us cldn't stop laughing like hell. thinking back now, i think the people present must have thought we were out of our minds. =X




more bad english from monica. we were talking about something about weisheng, her LAOGONG.

"blah blah blah....wah lau, i so gek until i want to STRUGGLE him!"

i tell you. at this point. the other 3 of us really cmi cos' we were laughing till we had i)stomach cramps ii)jaw muscles aching iii)tears in our eyes iv)hyperventilating from the lack of air.

you know what's so funny about the entire thing? the way they said it so confidently and agitatedly. and then they go:
"huh? not correct mehhh?"
which totally adds onto the present fits of convulsions due to the unlimited idiot-cy.



ahhh, alot more crappy stuff contributed by all 4 of us. but it was just a normal conversation! hahahaha.

involved alot of jason teasing and goh's previous nosebleed incident. wah, really laughed my heart out. enjoyed myself thoroughly. those girls don't know how much they made my day! :)












you know when i know i'm stressed?

when:
1) pimples the size of mount everest pop up at the right side of my face ONLY.

white ass:"ehhh, why your pimples all on the right side of your face only???!" -proceeds to laugh at his own comment-

me: -_-'''

2) when eye rings appear under your eyes due to lack of sleep. the eye rings appear to look like mascara that ran off when touched by water.

3) you basically do not give a damn of how you look.

sis:"wah lau you whole there sit there to study, pigu confirm become bigger! no wonder you so fat!"

me: =(

4) when your close friend tells you you are PLUMP. and you usually don't care. but it depresses you this time.

5) when you look at yourself in the mirror and realise how ghastly pale you look without activities in the sun. like a vampire indeed.

6) when you become crazy and decide not to cut hair cos it would "cut away all you've studied".










i want to post pictures!!! but my lappy is as good as dead. switch on already hang. the ultimate. and the worst thing is i have everything inside..photos from sec sch onwards and hundreds of songs. =( if all gone, i also will die.

really will totally make me depressed. must save my com!!!











darn, anyway, i think the best presto sista ever will be reading this entry. so hiiiii!!! hahaha :D
i loved the lavenders mannnnn. muacks muacks. let's continue fa hua chi-ing! :D sHhhhh.





i found out yun ma watches the nurse show also. hahahah.

im so addicted. i look forward to weekends cos' got the show.

later got family dinner. don'y know where parents takin us to. hahaha. i wanna watch be with me that movie!!! abbas asked me watch with him!!! i wannnnn. but no time. =(




ys just msged me online to check on my shirt. and somehow we got to this topic of the fall. this is how terrible he is. of ALL people, he witnessed it??!!

Shen* says:
hahaha
Shen* says:
yewah
Shen* says:
i suddenly see u drop in front of me la
Shen* says:
haha.. i was like..
Shen* says:
"where did she disappear to?"
Shen* says:
haha
Shen* says:
so funny man
Shen* says:
hahahahahaha.. canot help it la.. really super funny la

(*nick changed to protect privacy of the mentioned.)



terrible isnt it?




wah, blog till very tired. my injury from the fall very painful. got pus liao. hahahaha. bathing become very torturous.


i so want a camera. T5 or T7 would be niceeeeee :) *hint hint*

wo yao jia ge you qian ren!!!!



this world is full of moments i wish to capture, yet have no ability, or the depth to do so.










i realised how good looking you are again. when i catch a glimpse of you as i walk past the hall doors after exams, my heart skips a beat. utterly wrong and sinful. i should not indulge in it.
never.
must put an end to all this craziness.



for everyone who religiously read every line of this entry till this ending, CONGRATULATIONS!!! you have effectively managed to complete reading a bunch of time-wasting words! :) hope you enjoyed it anyway.

very tired. i need my 12 hour sleep again.

gone.

yup, i think i've been gone for quite some time.

eloped with mayday!!! hahahaha, in my dreams perhaps.

no la, computer crashed as usual then super sian to wait for it to restart for 10 mins or so, so decided not to waste my time to do so. sighhhh. and i don't have much to type anyway.

what's so interesting about studying alone at home? ahahaha.

sigh, ok maybe the highlight of the weekend was watching the nurse show!!! omg, i declare im absolutely(and ridiculously..wonder zihao know how to spell already not..) in love with that show. i AM pretty brainless, but i think it is a rather meaningful show..speaks alot about friendships and compassion amongst other things la..but anyway, the latest episode was that this girl(cailing) who likes her really close guy friend(deji)..hahahaha, speaking of which, i found the name RONGDEJI pretty hilarious.

hahahahah.

got chicken?



okok, i digressed as usual. anyway, i am simply dying to see how the plot unveils itself..don't know whether anything will come out of it or not..cos' i really don't believe in friends becoming something more..hahaha..maybe it's just me..doesn't really matter anyway, i have a bunch of really nice guy friends..hahahah..(:

cannot imagine..ok..i rather not..

=P




ARGH! this stupid advertisement about spyware keeps popping up every few seconds..im like racing against time to type this..stupid. REALLY REALLY stupid.

nvm. im here to charge my shuffle anyway. :)

song therapyyyyyyy!!

aiya, econs today was relatively survivable. though i doubt if i can get respectably good marks. heck la. over already. nothing much i can do. at least this time i never write wrong question number. HAHAHAHA. i checked 3 times ok! traumatising experience.

lost from the virtual world. sometimes i doubt if any noticed. hahaha. but then again, im probably thinking too highly of myself. :D who cares anyway.

lalaaaa. yesterday went harbour to study with ah gong wei qiang. wahhh, it ell you, i never had such a huge GENERATON GAP with anyone before. not even with my popo. this wei qiang, is the ultimate OLDEST MAN i ever know. his songs worse than yun ma ones..wahhhh, must go don't know what cash converters to hunt for it somemore..oh mans..

hahahaha, but nevermind la, he is quite funny to be with. let me laugh non-stop at his stupid antics. hahahahaha. the fall down in bathroom then get up like old man story. but quite poor thing la, laughing at him..hahahah. but it was really funny. cos he IS old. at least he behaves very eccentric-ally.

hahahaha. ok, enough of suan-ing. ahhhh, i miss everyone so much. yet i don't know how to put it down in words.

oh, i have geog exam tml. and surprisingly i did not even touch it. SHIT. really dead. i never never never touch geog before ok. really dead. hahahahah. sigh. thank god it's not As. counting my blessings! it's gonna be a hell of a rough ride..but gonna do it man!!! so many people owe me treats!!! erm..providing i do up to that expectations la. shit.

but its really touching that so many people supporting me. sighhh. really pressurised though. i think parents really give silent pressure. its freaking tiring to withstand all this shit. and my sister like holiday like that so relaxing. maybe she studied finished. or maybe he subjects combi easy. im half dead at the end of the day and she can appear relaxed and refreshed. dunno got study not.

think got la. she's smart. just lazy and preferential studying.

hahahahaha. damn, i pray both of us go to our dream uni-s or any institution la..wanna pursue our dreams!!! :D

very different dreams. but i still love her. sigh.

pressure. either it makes me or breaks me. i gonna forgo the latter!!!!

yayyys.

i feeling very mixed now. sigh. nevermind. i think i am someone hard to understand at times. pretty frustrating to people around me. really sorry..

but i guess my highs are too high, and lows too lows..

gonna start bingeing. im inflating again.













i miss you.

mayday!

note the exclaimation mark!!!! hahahahaha.

im becoming crazy. pardon the lack of logic.

ahhh, before you guys jump into conclusions, no, im NOT a cheena pork. just cos' i love mayday does not mean i am a cheena pork. i'm not a banana either.

this prompts me to wonder why all the awful names are EDIBLE food. does it mean that a idiotic things are perishables???

hahaha. ate porridge. with some chilli meat. don't know what you call that in english. but i really experienced DIMINISHING MARGINAL UTILITY. my additional satisfaction derived from an additonal piece of that meat i eat dropped. i burped and declared defeat. hahaha. my favourite meat in can food, but aiya, don't we all know The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility applies? :) i love economists! makes sense of senseless stuff.

but then again, it may not apply to zihao.
quoting:

bishi: when eat until very full then never enjoy the food already must stop. if not not enjoyable already..
zihao: aiyo, seems like i always eat until very full still continue eat. no wonder never enjoy food before..

totally irrelevant. but that conversation just popped into my head.

hahahah. my dad was washing the dishes. he rolled up his sleeves. looked like want to fight like that. however, one must always consider this physique and size first. i think the rival will bounce of his stomach even before anyother part of his body touches my dad.

:) did i mention i love my daddy? :)

i'm such a daddy's girl.







ahh, i've digressed!!!

someone get me a MAYDAY ALBUM!!!! the new one contains so manyyyyyyy niceeeee songssss. it's pretty much orgasmic listening to them.

i DON'T like boybands. much less CHINESE boybands. (note: i think the word boyband has reinvented and redefined itself in these years. many bands are definitely worth listening to!!)

okok, maybe just download their songs and send to me so i can indulge listening to my shuffle, rather than praying and hoping i'll hear them on the radio. hahahaha.






okok, enough crap. yesterday began my study marathon. i've never realised how much i have left.

the unfinished finished.

so much unfinished, really condemns me to being finished.

damn. i'm so sad.










coffee makes me sick already.

awake.

im in love with the not early not late time of the day. it's the only time i actually enjoy total peace and quietness in this house.

i really enjoy it. i'm relishing these moments in fact.

the calmness and stillness of this time appeals so much to me.

alone.

melancholy often surges from within.

it's because this time of the day, i can stop and think for a while, what i've done/not yet done for the day. i feel anticipation. awaiting what will happen when i go to sleep and awake a few hours later.

i can think of the past. i enjoy being lonely now.

i gaze out at the empty roads outside my house. i smile at the ridiculously sweet dedications made on-air. i laugh at my favourite DJs' jokes. i feel nothing but silly happiness when i hear my favourite songs on the radio.

it's a simple joy, i tell you.

little can appreciate this love i have for this time.

it's hard to describe. you see, it's not early, neither is it late.

it seems to be as if i am suspended in between two phases of the day. the ending, and the beginning.

a wonderful feeling, aiya, i can never describe this emotion im feeling now. till i find the appropriate words..(:









can't online. com screwed up still. using parents com now. yup, typing reallllly softly. hahahah. everyone's asleep.

i think i've missed alot of interaction between my friends. somehow, i've realised much of my life and communication revolves around technology--MSN and SMS.

HAHAHAHAH. dammit. such a sad thing ok.

ahhhhh. a nice song. :)





my progress so far?
fucked up la. super slow.
if i can finish everything, i swear i'll go jump down from my house.
as in finish studying thoroughly instead of the skimpy run-throughs i've done.

sigh. i feel pathetic for myself.
weiqiang said his brain is pentium 1, need to upgrade ram and memory space.
i say mine is lao kok kok computer, cannot find in market already. too long never use then brain kinda malfunction.

did i mention i hate studying???!!
i'm like so envious of people i know who seems to be good at everything. they seems to be blessed in EVERY SINGLE aspect can??!

*pouts*

academics. check.
sports. check.
looks. check.
friends. check.
personality and character. check.


ok. im sure there is more. but im really sleepy now. *yawn*
gonna finally get started on my econs. ARGHHHS. my hope for A!!

*sigh* i such a huge loser.

but i must say first, i study for my father.
cos' he is really working freaking damn hard to earn money for the entire family.
and the fucking exams fees costs a bomb.
i don't wanna retake or whatever shit then he have to pay all tt shit money again.

besides his all-too-loud voice sometimes, he is a great dad! :)




ahhh, besides, i want to fulfil my dream of 3 years. :)
GO JIELIN!!!

hahahah.
everyone is chiong-ing like mad. its fucking scary.
people doing PRELIMS/ALEVELS/TYS papers, i here READING and UNDERSTANDING notes.
so loser right?
hahahaha.
but it's ok. long term goals.
long term goals.







ya right. not so long term already.

i better fucking get my ass moving.

sighhhhh. so vulgar. but im exasperated.

can you believe i almost burst out crying studying for the stupid idiotic physics???? don't get me wrong, i rather me studying physics than maths, but i was really demoralised and DEFLATED(but i'm still fat) by the fact that i can't get simple concepts right!

and you know what? i've engaged a free tutor!! hahahaha. weiqiang has kindly offered his services. poor him.





darn. econs and geog. UNTOUCHED.

so dead. so dead. shall study econs. higher hopes of passing.

heard from other classes the prelims for econs is going to be so murderous that those who used to do well may not do so well, and those who just pass may just JUST really pass or get a O.

oh well. im screwed.

why do i seem to be re-enacting my prelims for Olvl days?

i hope i don't have to see the principal for this case. turn-off.








enough of blabbering. i wonder why do people even BOTHER to read my blog.

hahahahah.

so full of shit.








by the way, to everyone who reads this dumb blog,

I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!

*BIG GROUP HUGGGGGG*

=D