the star sign.

this is the bathroom floor of a painter's house. cool eh? almost real.


lol, all that falseness is making me sick.
you asked for it, i'll give it to you.
i'm fine with it, i'll just revert.
why, sometimes i realise your emotions run on jealousy. for those things i happen to do better than you do.
i shall just take it as a compliment then.


and some people just tend to get on my nerves and annoy me.
because i have higher tolerance level than most, explains for my not bitching or complaining.
don't make me explode.
my other half is a polar opposite.
now is not the time, because i'm running low on time, energy and patience.
and i don't like to accumulate unnecessary bad karma.


"don't beat yourself for it."

it's true.
and it's scary how you are able to see through me and understand how i feel.
with age comes wisdom.


i guess being so ________ makes me _______________.
i just gotta find _________.

i'm truly the deviant.


struggling inside, not doing the things i like.
because i hate being confined.
i hate being restricted.
i hate feeling like this. without much choice.
because i'm just not normal; not that normal girl.

breaking the ranks. can i? i can, he says, she says.
their confidence in me makes me feel unreal.
have i been underestimating myself?
have i been burying myself unconsciously?


i find no point to be happy every moment,
if my smiles don't come from within.
merely accomodating. who am i kiding?
i smile or grin when i feel it radiate outwards.
that's the real me. like it or not.

media has subtly influenced me and my perceptions, unknowingly.
i hate to be shaped by it, but i seem powerless to it.
it's time to redefine myself.


you are slowpoke. it's the last lesson anyway. too bad.
and some comments were better left discrete. i was mad, but i chose not to flare up. that's how i control my anger. can you?
i don't complain about you, so don't complain about me.
till i see you again, little boy.

and you wore a shirt, formal today.
nice.
never really looked carefully anyway. was too sleepy.
i'll see you soon too. bad impression remains, sadly.

and i look forward to seeing you tml. provided you are there. HAHA.

because i am in no place to do anything, i will not.
although i believe in fighting for things i want, or even going to lengths to get what i desire, i will not this time.
the past is enough. lesson learnt.
patience is a virtue. right?


and i cannot believe it. freudian slip.
-flaps hands-
for all the bickerings, i definitely don't like YOU. don't overestimate yourself.
you said that you are an actor, and everyone is acting on the stage. which makes me wonder: what IS your propaganda?

everything is easier to take things on the surface. so much easier.


fallen angel.

the power of labels.

"you think too much"
vs
"deep thinker"
vs
"devil's advocate"


LOL. don't envy what you cannot be.
because it is the greatest barrier of all.