last and first.

at this hour, it marks the last of my holiday. the remnants, to be exact. and hence, tomorrow is the start of my school semester. very hated indeed.

i scrolled through my calendar last night before sleeping and concluded that my holidays were not wasted, nor were they well spent. at least, the most i could salvage was my sanity. i managed to rip myself from the whirlpool of academic pursuits for 4 weeks or so to rot my life away, indluge in mindless activities and allow myself space for personal reflection, asides from meeting much beloved friends....

somehow, when school starts, i find that my brain is unable to process such redundant thoughts or meaningless thoughts. again, it marks the start of my stress to achieve that standard of results that i feel internally and externally pressurized to uphold.

after weeks of tortured morning waking hours, i slept till 4pm today, from last night's 4am.

why...the last person i was talking to...had to be you.

seems almost cruel that everything seems to be planned and on purpose. why does it seem that you know how i am feeling, and exploit it to your full advantage?

i'm determined to ignore this pesky emotion and avoid all means of contact, unless you contact me first. sigh. everything is wrong.

watched AVP on tv again, crunchyroll-ed coffee prince for the missed episodes. still lagging behind quite a few. not going to be able to do this often anymore. haha..dreaming. dreaming is off limits.

i should head to bed now to prepare for my first class. whee. let me meet cbz. HAHAHA. and i wonder if the uol people who came to relc might recognize us in sim. hilarious. not that i will recognize any of them. i recognize forms better. HAHAHAHAH.

does wanting and wishing for something badly REALLY makes things come true?

goodnight.