hope blinded us all;

Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands.


somehow, i always end up in the same shitty position. always the bad guy, hurting the opposite party.
but to hell with that. i have my reasons for doing so. and he'll thank me eventually.

even if the knot in my heart is untied...i doubt i'll ever dare to love again. for the next few years at least.

negative motivation? HA. fear to love. fear of hurt.
i'll just sit here and wait for my prince charming to plop down from the sky infront of me. NOT BIRD SHIT PLEASE. prince charming.

ha. but i really needa sort out what i really want. can i request for conflicting chracteristics in a guy? is it even possible? or must i compromise something for another?

dammit. i wish i'll stop being attracted to challenges.
i wish i'll stop falling for the wrong type of guys.
i wish i could be contented and love more easily.
why can't i bring myself to love people who love me first?



just like a hurt and bruised angel by the side walk; fallen.


i will pick myself up and walk again. because i'll never admit that i am weak, nor hurt--by you.
pride will kill me some day.


it's funny how everyone is not feeling exactly the best of moods recently. but it's comforting to see them keep trying to maintain that smile on their faces. not because they are fake, but because they refuse to let their sorrows drown the rest beside them; their friends.

because hope blinded us all;
rendered us helpless and speechless;
where only tears can tell tales;
and darkness envelopes us completely.

but like fallen angels-
they get stronger and braver.
time slips away,
pain heals wounds.
though scars remain;
but they only serve to remind us of the paradise that lays ahead.
angels-
will soar among the clouds again.
our hearts,
will be healed and prepared to love again.

so be brave,
have faith,
and courage,
believe in yourself,
fight hard.
somehow things will get better,
like how the rainbow shines after the thunderstorm.

smile guys!
=)



abs's right. i feel burnt and drained.
i hope i can last through this week at least. and not be exhausted. produce quality work still.
seems so hard.
so tired.
so sleepy.
struggling to stay awake.

and so many expectations to meet.
ALee is expecting me to get a A. tsktsk. but i heard him telling alot other pupils that, which only goes to mean that maybe he's trying to be encouraging and all that. tsk.

i'll go back to idealism then. dammit. what kind of fucking-hard-doesn't-make-sense paper is it anyway. GRRRRR.
glenda loves me. glenda loves me not.


and you just somehow manage to bring a smile to my face.
but it's so wrong.
all so wrong.