angsty night.

to all my dearest friends who bother to keep updated reading my lousy lonely blog:

i am feeling lonely tonight.
for my lack of "life" in this life.
for my lack of contact with objects other than the computer, textbook and occasional lecturers and friends/classmates/schoolmates/acquaintance/toilet auntie/stall auntie.uncle.

i miss everyone. i miss everything. and i miss myself. i miss life.

i actually am starting to think i'm a loser.
which is bad.
like so bad that i read my sister's blog and realised that i'm a single-loser.
feeling sore.

a loser inbetween. really.

and i have one pile of work staring back at me as i type this.
to cry or to laugh?
emo has paid me a visit.
fatso too.
where is happy and bliss?

the nightmare has barely started, and i'm feeling the fatigue.
what will be my remedy?
can i will my mind to think differently?

it's so tiring being strong, cheery, giving and compliant.
i just wanna scream bitch yell slap scratch at people who annoy the fuck out of me and don't realize it but continue doing so.


and i would first like to purge myself of the fats and pimples.
the oilspill within me is causing pimple erruptions. wtf.

i need to die before i can be reborn.
but im stuck. in between.
angel, ll, whoever, i need you. guide me.