new sem new feelings.

and these feelings aren't necessarily good.
feeling ultra ultra sian diao. this sem is really going to kill me.
can't choo choo train everything anymore.

so much on my mind. and so much not happening according to plan.

i should omph harder.
been slacking these few days in terms of omphs.

shitty prof HOPE who gives me NO HOPE AT ALL.
weirdodo beardy.
i miss noodles.
at least he is friendly IN A NORMAL WAY.


they better prove me wrong. or not studying is gonna be torturous.

GREAT. things cannot get any better.
with com 202 first exams landing smack ON MY BIRTHDAY.


WAHLAUEHKANASAIWHYLIKETHATONE.

sibei dulan ok. it's not the way to celebrate your birthday.
doesn't help that the schedule is so fucking tight i feel like i cannot breathe.

planning to take up that sunday private tutee. should be earning much more. but no rest.

haiz.

hates life now. very very unsatisfied.

running life on a drone.
robot-ise me.

sometimes if only i can give myself a god damn break.



how do you even teach kids who refuse to learn, lousy learning attitude, no ambitions, think failing is super cool, and disregards learning.

and their parents are bloody poor they don't give a damn or they don't care.

i pity the parents.

and i'm trying so hard i don't even know why I AM FREAKING TRYING SO HARD. I CAN JUST LET THEM FAIL AND IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

but cannot. i just must be this bloody stupid ass. irritated with myself.

don't tell me teaching a private tutee is higher responsibility. TRY AN ENTIRE FREAKING CLASS.

i wish they would just wake up from their perfect little bubble already. i've never really lectured the class. but this time i really did. nonchalance on some faces, some are feeling the bite of reality(which is good).

there is so much i can do, and they don't realise it.

this batch of primary 4 kiddos; everyone's complaining. it's the worst every in history of results and attitude. it's like parents trying to make rotten apples unrotten.

is it even possible.
i believed i could at the beginning.
but if they don't buck up themselves, i fear that they are gonna degenerate themselves away.

after the tears, comes courage.

have courage, she once said.
till today, i hold dear to my heart.
my destiny.
their predictions.


i just can't take it lying down.







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