*screams*

literally.

im not screaming now la.

freak, im so darn stressed and yet i am not doing anything.

what do you call someone good at somethings, lousy and many things, and excellent at nothing? check the dictionary for the word "jielin".

i might just submit a proposal to oxford dictionary publishers to try add this word into their list. might become rich man.

arghhhhhs. you know how it feels like when you have friends around you that are mugging like crazy every single waking second? they mug from day to night. break a few mins then continue mugging again.

i mug a few hours(with intermittent breaks in betweeen), take a nap for 2 hours, wake up watch tv, try to mug then go to sleep again.

im so pissed with myself i feel like getting a rope to
a)hang myself
b)strangle myself
c)ask someone near me to do either a) or b)


i'm such a sadist. and pessimist at that.

you know sometimes i wonder who actually has access to my blog. and then again i think of what zihao said to me before, then perhaps i don't really care.

i know of people i care who read this blog, then i know of people whom i don't care much about reading my blog too. surprise! why would people who don't care much for your living existence even want to waaste their time reading your blog?

i guess it's a human nature to be curious and inquisitive.

i'm also much of a blogger reader myself. meaning that i go around reading blogs, but i do not leave comments in those blogs. but i read blogs with content la. hahaha, various contents. and i do enjoy them, for the style of writing, that easy flair of language or be it pictorial that always manages to engage me...it's pretty time consuming.

but heck. i'm wasting my time here too.
you know what. im so fuckign pissed with maths i feel like tearing or buring away my notes.

what's wrong with me man??!!! i can do some topics and then other topics i feel like a 100% retard.

see? that's my problem. maths is so NOT me. despite how much i try, i would be lucky to even get a E. or O.(let's not expect too highly of myself)

others do maths like a breeze. and im super amazed at their easy As and Bs. people tell me maths is the easiest subject of all, and i can be so awed and choke in my own self wallow and pity and whatever.

see? that's me. some people can do maths, some cannot. i guess i belong to the latter.

if only a miracle can happen. HAH.

maybe i should get back to studying.








sometimes i just wanna give up, and give those around me a chance to call me a loser.
and then i remember that is not my nature to give up so easily.
neither do i like people to think/call me a loser.
and i think of my dreams.
and then i struggle on.
pride and dignity.






just keep mugging. just keep mugging.just keep mugging. just keep mugging.just keep mugging. just keep mugging.just keep mugging. just keep mugging.
just keep mugging. just keep mugging.just keep mugging. just keep mugging.just keep mugging. just keep mugging.
just keep mugging. just keep mugging.just keep mugging. just keep mugging.