raving mad woman.

yes, i tend to rave alot..to people who bother to listen of course.

my life is nothing but screwed up shit lately. so much problems happening both in school and at home im so fed up with life. so im whining, sue me la.

being the lousy ass bum, im here again, online and trying to blog out my woes. but the truth is i can never truly do so, because there are people reading my blog, and i do not want these people to read what im feeling.

different people have different points of views, different perspectives. we are entitled to our our views and opinions, so just let me write what i feel can??? without me having to guard all the shit i want to spew out of my mouth. stop condemning me and my words. for i do not condemn anyone.

what goes around comes around.

sometimes people only learn through mistakes. committing a mistake once or twice is fine, but sometimes too much is too much. there are times when forgiving is just not in my dictionary. you can come and go as you wish, so why can't i f*cking do the same thing to you?

fine, so in the end i did not leave though i wanted to. i was there when you needed me. and now, where the hell are you when i so f*cking desperately need you. WHERE???

pardon the expletives, for im in a very very unpleasant mood right now. you wouldn't want to offend me.

be it the stress from watching my classmates zoom ahead of me in EVERYTHING academics wise, or be it the laziness inside me that tempts me everything i try hard to study..it surprises me that i actually made it for the Os. pray to all Gods present on earth that they bless me i get through this damn high hurdle in one piece and emerge victorious.

let me cry tears of joy, not desperation.

im tearing down inside. can you see?

i keep assuring people around me everything's ok. but how well can things be when you see no light anywhere, anyhow?

life has become nothing but a mundane cycle for me. studying has lost its meaning. is it for the joy of learning? or simply to grasp all these knowledge to get questions right and score the maximum amounts of distinctions?

perhaps i am i loser afterall. giving up so easily where people are spurred on.

i gotta fight on.

each day i step into college with trudging feet, i see the countdown to prelims screaming out to me from the tv messaging system.

i gotta keep going. i'm almost there, yet not yet. so close, yet so far.

to enjoy after the huge exams, i gotta mug like shit first. then, i can enjoy the sweet savory after taste of my "fruits of labour"(which i obviously hope there are).

im supposed to be dieting. but i'm bingeing.

i forgot how to laugh and smile suddenly.

life seems so bleak to me, i'm lost.

for once, it seems like i have no one near that understands my situation. but yet there are only people who keep adding onto my frustrations and making me extremely upset with their comments.

i admit i'm dumb afterall. so what? dumb people have their pride ok.












screw it la.
if you even understand what i'm writing in this entry, good for you. if not, not like i care that you don't.

i'm sorry if i offended or hurt anyone in my recent mindless banters.













just leave me alone. i am a loner.

you don't care anyway.





this entire entry does not contain a single truth. except for the third sentence from this.