losing hope.

devastating.
but what can i say. i think maybe it's really not meant to be. all i can do is to be gracious and say congratulations and tell him that he did well.

because i guess he did well. to score the telephone call and the interview. and i didn't. yayness to me.
i can't cheer up even if fatbear dances belly dance for me.


the red sea came today. cramping up like mad. gonna go into childbirth again zzzz.
i hope it gets better tomorrow or not i'll be like a old woman walking around school.
it's our persuasive speech tomorrow too! BEST OF LUCKS TO ME AND NEHNEH. we will get our anticipated As!!!!!! yayyyyy. zzzz. really need it lah. even though i seriously think my GPA will get me nowhere. super demoralized.


i don't see where i'm going now.
all along i've envisioned my path so clearly...everything was supposed to fall in place like they always do.
now, i frankly am so bloody, freaking lost...i feel so fucked up and no one is out there to save me.
it's a sea of sharks out there. everything isn't what they look like.


losing hope is actually a very simple thing.