endurance.

life feels like a test everyday; from the moment i open my eyes to the second i shut my eyes.

i don't know why he is doing this. on purpose. to spite me. or out of goodwill to share information. whatever it is, i don't feel very nice after the conversation.

the father nagged. content unrevealed. but very disturbed and annoyed and HIGHLY irritated. i don't know lah. i just want to move out alone asap. but i don't have the cash. fed up.

sent more resumes tonight. amidst all the nagging.
the mother helped me ask one of her customers who was in the advertising line. i wonder if she needs a personal helper. because her company just ax-ed all the team staff, leaving my mother's client in the company doing all the shit work. =((((

hire me leh. i very easy to negotiate one. hai.


school was BLAH. long lectures, stressful lecturer, cold lecture halls. stepped out of the school exhausted, mentally and physically.


was supposed to meet fatbear for dinner today. but he had to work OT and i got tired of waiting, i even fell asleep on the sofa. so decided not to meet and...stayed home for lousy dinner.



i can't say if it's bad timing or bad luck.
i feel like it's a fight against all odds.
a fight i've grown so weary of.
no matter how prepared or positive i am.
i end the day feeling deflated.


i need my motivation.