4:09am

home alone. alone.

tuition and work was alright. i'm trying not to think about the money issue, BUT i am helpless to its invasion in my mind. zzzz. unless there is a money thunderstorm these 2 months, i think i'll have only sufficient for my plane ticket wtf.


the only reason why i'm blogging right now is because i just finished 2 rented dvds. ah well, it's free, so why not?


knowing me, i got my usual dosage of local films and a foreign title.

1) Pleasure factory--ekachai uekrongtham
2) Happy birthday


pleasure factory got me thinking and analyzing. i couldn't help but place my communication studies of films and themes into use. it's a habit i find hard to shake off. might as well be a good habit at that. (:


i've got most of the themes pretty clear in my puny brain. though i am lacking understanding in the final theme. i need intellectual discourse and discussion. who watched the film already?? =(



Happy birthday, on the other hand, rendered me silent and slightly touched. i'm trying very hard to find the appropriate words to put the film in high worth. at this hour, i am doing the film great injustice.


let's just say...i'm trying to shake off the vibe i get from this movie--being the typical love story; with a tragic ending.

it's not REALLY the typical. yet it ain't the atypical. i wouldn't say it's realistic. yet i wouldn't rule it out as being unrealistic either.

-scratches head-


there's something inside the plot that makes me speechless and touched me in a minute, deep way.



is there someone in your life who never fails to wish you happy birthday some way or another every year since you met each other?
is there someone who can predict your every action?
someone who understands how you feel even without you speaking a single word?
a person who gives selflessly and unconditionally without your knowledge?



i think i've somehow grasped what is bothering me so.


the fact that i thought throughout the entire film that the male lead was a hugeass flirt, irresponsible playboy.


and then the ending proves me 100% wrong. -_-'''




this, i credit to awesome storyline and development of plot by the writer. and of course, the superb camera work. nonverbals have never been more powerful than when they are utilized effectively.





i've not touched a single drop of alcohol.
does this prove my resolve?
i didn't even take a peek at my chivas.








about 3 days ago, i dreamt that i died.
and i didn't know i was dead, or how i died.
i drifted as a soul until someone told me i was dead.




i've been dreaming every single night.
i hate dreaming.
someone give me a dream catcher to catch these bad dreams.






i often get sudden impulses to send a message to a certain somebody.
then i remind myself that i can no longer do so.
that it's not right to do so.
i've missed my chance and it will never come back.
i hate this feeling.




i think i might start writing again.




still waiting for my pimples to clear. SIGH.