wrong move.

WARNING: LONG POST. DON'T READ.

i wanted to know where it leads to, and i got my answer.
perhaps it was negligence. or it could be suey-ness. or just that i refused to admit that it would turn out this way.

my positivity can get me killed sometimes.

and wj is right, i should stop playing with fire.
i make others worry, and i get myself in dire straits unknowingly.
i'm.........retarded. bird brain indeed.

sighs.

thanks to nehneh. for everything. you know i cannot voice my gratitude that well, but im ultra glad for everything you did. words cannot describe. thank you loadssss. -bows-

i've never really uttered much about marshy and gene in the blog, mainly cos' i doubt they have the time to read it anyway. but i'm gonna drop a few words of appreciation here.

thanks to gene aka white ass. for ALWAYS being there to listen to my complains and outbursts and whinings. trust me, you are a stable pillar of support, reliable, comforting, and da besttttt! -beams-
i know that i've done something very stupid, and i've promised you never to do it again. i promise. (:
thank you for your limitless understandings and encouragements given throughout my course of life. i can't imagine life without the existence of white ass. seriously. =)

marshy. i was so surprised to receive your sms on the day of my exams. even when i was running late for the paper and panting like mad, that little beep on my cell reminded me how cared for i am. thanks millions for all the small things you do. the gentlemanly acts here and there. that retardedness that never fails to make me damn dots and cheer me up ultimately. =)

i guess i must thank wj for everything too. somehow i find his company comforting. his talks rewarding and insightful. honesty works. i am thankful for his frankness in certain topics; at least i get to understand better the other point of view.

and wy, for letting me bully her. she doesn't know of this blog (along with wj), but i really wish to thank her with utmost sincerity. her presence in xh cheers me up indefinitely. hahaha.

i guess god compensates for my lack of brain and brawn with wonderful friends whom i know i can rely on through thick and thin.

though mrA says i'm cute and stylish. hee.
and mrT said i'm pretty. whee whee.


fine, make me happy a bit lah. not happy don't read.

my mask remains untouched.


------

nehneh's right. maybe it's time i wake up from my fall.
deeper i go, higher the chances of hurt.
but i cannot help it.
it's been so long since i get so happy (and ridiculously happy at that) just receiving a simple msg from a certain someone.
it's dumb, really.

sigh.
but what hopes can i have?
not to have them dashed in the end.
the risk, so many urged me to take,
yet i am hesitant.
because i know this time,
healing will take longer.

and i cannot afford that.
never.