take a break.

no kitkat.
i've decided to try to diet again.
the stress is getting to me and i'm losing my appetite.
eating for the sake of eating sucks. nothing tastes nice.
no cravings.

except for chocolate waffles.
those traditional greenish-brown floor pancakes with a layer of generous chocolate spread.
sighs. it's been way too long.
the only stall i know in clementi that sells that somehow closed down.
GREAT.

life's....ok. i mean it's all about coping and balancing right?

i find myself desperate to earn more money.
to save more.
i'm spending lesser, and i think before i spend.

it's ironic how people actually assume that i am rich because i LOOK rich.
i actually had my bosses asking me why i am so desperate to take up as many jobs as possible.
i told them i needed the money.
and they just told me in the face that they thought all along that i am damn rich.
HAHAHAHAHA.
it's funny right.
i DO wanna be rich.
i don't want to worry about financial matters.
i don't want to worry that i don't have enough to cover my expenses.
i hate being limited.

i want so much more. now and so much more.

i feel the spur again; yet at the same time, i feel dulled.

i am actually worried for my lack of interest in going out to party like my other counterparts my age.
LOL.
it's bad, i think.

but i do wish i could insert more meaningful events into my life.
like volunteering. it's been donkey years since i did any form of volunteering. i forgot how that warm tingy feeling feels.
i forgot how to love unconditionally and empathize.
because unknowingly, i've been living in a self-absorbed stupid little world.

------

went over to the centre for admin and marking scripts.
zzzzz.
although there was a tv with SCV functions and wireless abilities, i hardly got the time to indulge in any.
but it felt good, sitting at that 1000 plus worth of "good wood" (quote unquote boss no. 1) table. HAHAHAHA.
ALL MINE.
and that akira "damn expensive and very very zai flat screen tv" (quote unquote boss no. 2) just one arm's length away from me. -BEAMS-

BUTTTT, i just had to face all that papers and un-readable english. oh wells, i'm paid for it right. HAHAHAHA.

though i still don't know how much. never asked him.

nothing much admin to do though, for today.
just had to sit there, try to act pretty and smile at the parents.
the kids there are much smarter, more quieter, much richer. and somehow lesser. prolly cos' of the lack of advertisements.
hahaha, the place looks very very professional.

but i know the one at jurong looks damn pro now also. HAHAHAH.
improvements.
wheee.

and i got news that i might be getting bonuses next year. hmmmsss.
grow centre growwww.

and i deh my boss no. 1 to let me have one china boy whose father came to sign him up for.
HAHAHAHAH.
i mean if the father is willing to pay that private fee, why not seh.
HAHAHAHAH.
i shall see what comes out of it.
but lesser free time for myself, that's for sure.


it's gonna be paste flyers all around clementi day.
then tuition cuzzie make up day.
and then admin plus marking papers day.


money money come to mummy.
you are my honey honey.
i'm broke.

loads of shit to do.
but i'll get it done.
always do.