one step in.

one step out.
so...i'm still where i began.

it's funny how life works.
when my brain is flooded with so much shit i cannot think properly, i get frustrated and annnoyed.
i keep thinking about school reopening, shuffling my timetable and work timings. the money i'll earn; it's sufficiency; all the plans i've laid out.

i'm not sure if it'll flow positively.
i'm tired.
slave of money.
i declared so determinedly infront of boss, yet now, i'm not so confident already.


am i really so money-minded?
or am i such a spendthrift?
i hate feeling so empty.
but each day i'm fighting to earn.


i feel like closing down blackills.
it takes so much more than just plain hardwork to make things work out.
success in retail, ain't as easy as i thought.
every singaporean is selfish--cheaper the better.

expectant, yet defying conventions.

i haven't proceeded much in the book.
no time.
tons of stuff to do.
tons of people to entertain.
i'm part of the larger show.

a show i'm growing to be tired of acting in.
but i shall fight on, for money.

dieting.


he asked me out for a movie.
zzz.
but, all's friendly.
li shang wang lai.

right now, i just wished i had an elder bro to whine to.
someone who can comfort me or give me hsi shoulder for support.
someone who can pamper me and make me feel doted on.
ha.
for years, i've yearned.

tiresome.
another long day tml.
shall try to get more work done.
no time when school reopens.


money will never be enough.
come flow flow flow.

i don't wanna attract them.
i want you.
those who are worth it.
turn your gaze in my direction.
flow flow flow.