words then numbers;

it's words for the past few days.
then terrifying numbers which i've abandoned for god saken centuries.

i will fail my maths.
like how i did in JC.
haiz.
but i don't want to.


this sem, if i can get 3As and above, i shall reward myself.
not that without 3As i won't reward.
cos' the rewarding process begins on thurs!!!! WHEEEE.


i've sat on the chair for hours, day to night, sunny to rainy,
i think my butt grew up at least 2 sizes.
my specs need increased degrees.
i'm so tired i could sleep a hundred years.
and i think i'm crazy because i'm still tuitioning.

money is stil important. so if i can actually emerge "victorious", i deserve it, don't i? :)
one more class=more revenue.
money makes the world click.


not the only thing of course. but pretty much for now.
happens when you live on your own bank account.
i feel independent.
and i feel loved in the centre.
most of the kids know me, from last year to this.
the teachers are friendly and cheer me up when i'm stressed.
it's a positive communication climate mans. (wheee!! 225-ed)

i've got to start memorizing.
dreading my maths paper which i will be studying for in 12 hours time.
haiz.
run for so long, hide for so much,
still came back to me.

life's shitty.
but i'm used to it.
i still think about it sometimes.
it and it and it-them.
i'm glad it's over,
and i feel the resentment tiding away.
this is a breakthrough for me.


i'm looking like a pimply dumpling now.

REALLLLLLY unattractive.
not that anyone cares.
still alive, barely.

i looked punched in the eyes.

no one can save me, but myself.
unless-
higher powers, are you listening to my pleas?
help me, please.