chicken.

leaving the house in like 45mins to meet abbas and jj for er.."s27" outing. as usual, not much left. hmmm, i wonder how the guys are doing. sighs. first 3 months were prolly the best days of jc life minus the cca and ocip part. but i guess(ed? HAHAHAHHA) things do change. so does people.

anyway, esl was ok. phew. glenda made some complimenting remarks, which is good in my view, but her last part about "artisit" is damn huhpee. HAHAHAHA. oh wells, i am a budding artist eh? =D

bus-ed to bugis on slowpoke 61 with laomeow insisting her legs very long, hence kiao-ka-ing her leg for the entire ride. reached finally, and the good weather turned not so good, while bugis was close to being dead.
didn't buy much, thank god.

headed to orchard for second stop. bought a tee from depression. i think their stuff is quite rebel. i like. :) shall head there soon when i have more cash.

i still cannot find my boots, am close to giving up. =(

i think i might be getting a backpack soon. my back is aching from all those beepo heavy books that will make me curse non-stop. but 60bucks for one, is it too steep?
hmmmm. still thinking, but tempting indeed. to rest my shoulders. it's pretty rebellious in sense of style, which works fine, because like meow says, it will tone down the outfit ultimately.

my poor poor feet.

i'm so tired now, but i guess a promise is a promise, and i must make it to the outing, because pangseh-ing is just bad.




i feel like sleeping.
i've so much work undone.
i feel fucked.

if sorry-s could solve everything, i think i would say hundreds of them.
but they don't.
i refuse to think about what to do next, because i really am mentally and physically tired.
i hate it that i am crushed with everything, yet i am just shrugging everything off.

i just want to keep running away.
but i need to start bucking up.
i can feel myself slacking like mad. seems like the fuel in me is running low.

i still want to sleep.




feeling blue. encased in shadows. this world i fail to phantom. because i keep hiding from the threats. because i keeo running from the uglies. because i deceive myself into believing this world is beautiful with perfect nice little people. how naive.

keeping that little faith helps. but it also proves my stupidity.

because humans are evil by nature.
it's so easy to be a bitch, but so hard to be an angel.
maybe i should start being a bitch.

i doubt i have much energy to hyper when i meet the guys. =(



drowning alone. head down. forlorn.

i don't really care. but yet i want to care. tension of opposites.
i just want to sleep now.

the whole world is exhausted. not just you.
we just manage to keepthat smile on our faces.
don't piss me off.
i try so hard to be nice, yet it all backfires.
maybe i really should stop being nice to you, you and you.
it's worth nothing in this world.

what you say, people don't listen.
what they say, treat it as rubbish. i think this is how the world revolves.

because the hurt becomes worse when it comes from someone you care.

or maybe familiarity breeds contempt.

i just cannot stand perfectionistic ideals.
everything becomes this or that, never in between.
it's either right or wrong, never neither.
and you're good, or your're not.

the sky is turning darker by the minute.
as does the feeling of wanting to stay home.


one of simple life's rules that i believe in: do not do unto others what you wish not to be done to you.

vaguely speaking, we tend to be blind to ourselves.