money is evil.

i finally realised how bad things were when i realised my nets doesn't even have $16 bucks inside.

i feel like shit, but i know i've done my best to last so long.
RELC pay cannot be rushed, i still owe hel $4, yating $18(transferred over cos hel owes yating money, so now become i owe bigbird) and yea, pretty much surviving on free sim food now. HA.

this is my shitty life.
i daren't ask for my tuition pay cos' i'll feel bad.
i know the centre has always struggled, with the mission to provide affordable tuition to the lower income group in the neighbourhood. and i always gave my utmost best and efforts, not asking for more. because i always have enough to last.

but now, i'm just so fucking broke, i don't know what to say.
and the thing is i didn't buy anything ok.
all spent on transport and some food inbtween breaks, never exceeding $2 per meal.
HA. it's almost pathetic.

and don't ask me to take money from my parents.
because the school fees are such a bomb, and i haven't taken $$ form them since i graduated from JC, i think i shouldn't start now.
at least...the chinese have this saying of "first bitter then sweet"(literal translation).
i'm awaiting the sweetness. please oh god, before i die.

i am hungry, but i think the pain in my mouth exceeds my hunger.
so i shall just starve.

i have fats reserve anyway.
not that i seem to be slimming down anymore.
i think i reached this limit, but i choose to believe my belly will go away somehow.
faith lah, can?


ok, enough whining about money.
it's just plain evil.
after i get my tuition pay end of this month(which i hope by then i'm still very much alive), i will repay all debts(totalling erm...$22???) and carry on with life.
mans. work extra hard to earn more.
spend less, even though i'm dying for new clothes. hahs.

just gotta get used to the fact that i'm not as priviledged as i hope to be.
or rather, i CHOOSE to be.

independence, want then must be all the way.