fate, accept it.

fate. cannot be forced upon someone for acceptance.
doesn't work this way.



be careful when you drive, ok?
it's the rainy season, and it's dangerous.
:)


christmas, and i wonder how am i going to be spending it.
new year, and i wonder too.


somehow it sucks when you are stumped about who to ask out on days like these.
A? oh cannot, got boyfriend.
b? cannot also, got girlfriend.
c? nahz, out of singapore for hols.
d? don't think so, got own group of friends.
e? with family.

and the list goes on.
-shrugs-


guess i'll have to have sex with the TV eh, frisky abs? -grins-



parents.
teenage angst and complains, don't we all know.
somehow, i've had enough, and enough means not even wanting to bother about talking about it.
so i guess the more i don't wanna talk about it, the worse the situation becomes right? HA.
so be it then.


money. still in the pits for financial matters.
very very desperate. waiting for that pay to appear. sometimes i wish i was born and raised in a different environment. just sometimes.
maybe this is just to hone my independence and grit.
i shall fight on.

waiting for jan's first two weeks to see the other 3 girls for work again. HAHAHA. i foresee fun fun fun.
and more sex talk. LOL.


today was dental appointment. more pain and throbbing. more pink.
one step at a time, i will achieve that smile. =)
buddy couldn't meet me. work.
so i bought cup noodles at 7-11 and sat there to eat. fucking sad scene ok.
can go make mtv liao.
rainy day, eat tomyum noodles, alone.
oh wells, i guess being alone can make you think more and makes you calmer too.
went all the way back to clementi to get 2 books to read so that my brain doesn't degenerate that fast.
so, a sad rainy lonely day indeed.
classic.
and i get so pissed when pple splash water on me when they walk, like intentionally.
it's as annoying as people waving their hands by their sides, flinging water off their hands after washing them--in the toilet.
really, i could slap them. BEFORE I WASH MINE. HAHAHAHA.



------------

yesterday night, i drowned in my tears and my pillow.
the pain came from inside, radiating outwards, then attacking me from the outside.
i couldn't stop.
it couldn't stop.
i forgot when i fell asleep.
i forgot why.



one day, just that one day, i might be able to walk out of your shadows completely.
and look at my shadow;
smile from within.