lan lan.

you know how it sucks when you just cannot stop cursing and swearing? i found myself in this state ever since i started school. obviously i try to hold myself back, cos' my friends aren't exactly very vulgar. hah. but somethings really just seem more understandable with FUCK inside. or maybe TMD. (learnt new phrase from ah wan--TMDQS..SUPER FUNNY!) but yea, it's bad lah. children reading, don't learn hor.

sigh. then you realised maybe cos' your life is so fucked up.

was listening to cigarettes and coffee today while slacking and waiting for ESL lesson with grey ge, tomato, koey and priya. it's damn funny lah. talked alot. then mel joined. talked more. then ee teng joined. then ab. SERIOUSLY. and i was fucking supposed to be studying.

gave up anyway. talked hell lot of shit. laughed like mad. good. company's good. =)

friends are so much more easier to make when you just open up, self-disclose, and be spontaneous. hehs. and it's so interesting to have ppl from all walks of life coming into your life. so much to learn. so many stories to hear. so much to digest.

and i give up totally. it's so hard to try portray one image when i get multiple feedback.

aparently, koey thought i was a rock chick when he first saw me. and he still thinks i am. great. and he observed that i wear leggings at least twice every week. BUT, this week never liao ok! ONCE only. hahahaha.

then priya thought i was little miss guai kia. HAHAHAHA.

then grey ge thought i was someone who go chiong almost everyday. THANKS LOR. don't know honoured or insulted.

and glenda saw my tatoos, and thought they were real. LOL. "were they painful?" was the first thing she asked me. hilarious.

she's not the first anyway. i've got people coming up to me and ask me whether it's real/tell me it looks really nice. interesting. i didn't think people would notice. but hell yea. got alot more attention than i thought it would.

somehow it wouldn't go off that easily. must scrub hard.



soft news aside(freak! COM101 term!), i've got mid terms in like...3 fucking days. fucked up. seriously. considering my sat's half gone, and friday's almost over. i've got...1.5 days left. FUCK IT.

kill me. leave some blood behind.

no term break. endless assignments. seriously. what's wrong man. they think we superman/superwomen ah. i mean, i'm not intellectually inclined. and the stress is really pissing me off. it's ruining my...body.

fucking pimples everywhere.
and i binge every night while studying.
KO on bed super easy.
bui dong till morning.
go school chiong and study and do assignments at home.
repeat.


fucked up. others can cope. NOT ME OK. sigh. i asked for help finally. not going for tuition on mon and tues. i need that extra time i can get.
tml still got ultra duper long day of tuitioning though. sucks.


i've got to stop eating. going to burst liao can.


you know how you know somethings just aren't the same? when you try to be modest and hide things you don't want people to know, try to praise people for their hard work which paid off, and feeling REALLY happy for them.
things changed. i changed.
i guess somethings just don't mean that much. others took their places.

somehow, some people, are better left alone. better to stay passive, then try to act all chummy and be nice, when you just want to be...there.

you need people with same frequency lah.

i've got to be less sacarstic.

LOL. and daffy is funny. really. JLO. wah thanks. with his concept of godly talents. tsk. shall not go into details. i'm honoured. and he's really nice anyway.


weekend is short. i need more hours in one day.

go listen to coffee and cigarettes. it's addictive. it's tragic.