no link.

life has been a bitch recently. but things are made so much smoother and easier with these girls around.

but life's still a bitch. and today i did a FIRST.
yea, hel you should know. it's a secret between the two of us ok? sigh. but i'm still worried and perplexed over what actually is happening inside me. hahaha.

my heart beat like mad while waiting.
something i don't want to experience again definitely.

mid-terms are next week already. so dead, so dead.
everyday i go to school and think i am ready to face the lectures and tutorials.
i do try my best, i swear.
i stay up late into the night just to finish assignments and pray hard i don't fall asleep during class.
i try to give quality work.

and i think i know what i am doing and writing. yet sometimes, i feel so jaded i start to question whether i do really know. it's so complex, yet so simple.

am i complicating things?

i must study harder. catch up on things i have no idea on. because the rest are. and i cannot lag behind. sigh.
life of a student they say, is truly much more desirable than that of a working adult.
so i better treasure these shitty times, for if the saying is true, life can only get bitchier.

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ah, according to ab, "we are roped into the double A". HAHAHA. seriously, and alex just now asked me to go sing ktv along. "ask aby come along also"--he says. *grins* but then again, asides from this minor distraction, i've come only to realise yet again how i've misjudged.

maybe the double A is not so double A. for their presence seems less bright now. maybe it's the getting used to.
maybe, it's simply us over-reacting.

cannot judge people by their appearances. alex doesn't turn out to be as bad as he looks. friendly, camp instructor and a singer and performer! who can tell! *grins*

so, abby. moral of story is: maybe i am not as kiap-pa inside as i look on the outside. HAHAHAH. maybe i'm those cannot-ah-bu-shuang-ah-*PIAK*-kinda-look BUT as gentle and sweet as an angel on the inside.. LOL.

okok, digression.

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oh, tml is book out day aka my last day of school for the week! double yay-ity. =)
sometimes i think whether my happiness is based on imaginary emotions.