please note the exclaimation mark at the end of this blog entry title. YES! im so gonna get over u! i am!!! well at least i haf to anyway. heh. enough said, i just hope this hurt will go away soon enough, no more false hopes, no more wrong signals, no more oggling. i better start settling down and think of wad are m priorities in life and go for it. yeas. perhaps i shld start by doing my econs tys and actually reading my notes instead of blogging and slacking now like what i am doing. hehs.
so disconnected from everyone. who is someone i can really turn to? i have many close frens, in class, in hockey, in sec sch, outside sch, ppl i hardly know yet i can talk to, ppl from ocip, ppl from jj. im touched by their frenship. i seriously am. sometimes i just needa talk, and they were there to provide a listening ear for u. sometimes, even a strong shoulder for me to lean on, to cry on. recently i seem to be getting weaker and weaker, getting torn apart. the harder i try, the harder i fall. the pain is excrutiating, yet who can really tell from my appearance. i may appear to be happy always, but am i really? i hardly talk to my parents abt my troubles, not even my sister. sometimes i just hope i can fade off into the backgrd and die unnoticed. hehs. i try very hard to be happy, to make ppl happy, to be strong and confident. and i succeed most of the time. except the part of being genuinely happy. im seriously troubled. happiness is shortlived. i wished i had the naivety of a young child. to ignore the hard and cruel truths of the world. to ignore the pain and hurt i face everyday. their world is just so simple.
perhaps its just today. another one of my thinking days. melancholy. reflective. wells, im so gonna get over u. yes i am and i will. im sure of that. i just hope no one will like come and take over ur place. cant take the highs and lows of such interpersonal relationships. hahaha. well, at least not now.
friends are truly very important. yeas. i love them with my life. they are the only reason why im alive now.
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