RAH!

i WANT to study hard. i NEED to study hard. but NOW, im fighting against my bed.

can't get my freaking ass out of bed. so irritated. my entire day is like slacked and wasted away.

so pissed. gonna stop updating for now. after this pointless entry. i know it's pointless. but i'm so bloody pissed at my progress i need to vent it out ok. besides, you can choose to click that "back" button on your window broswer or that red "X" at the top right hand corner of your screen.

just don't miss me lah! :P

and i feel so SNEAKED up on. you know who you are. and perhaps i should link you too. =p

*GRINS*



and for your info, i have alot other blogs whom i know of but do not link on my blog. just cos' i like sneaking up on people too.

so yah lah, fine.







had a long chat with none other than louis lim yesterday online! i cannot believe how long we've chatted!!!!!!

*GASP*

and well, ok lah, got deep dark secrets. hahahahaha. but it's a promise to keep it between the two of us only. but it actually feels good to rant on and on, and he listening to my bullshit, and adding bullshit of his time and time along the conversation.

i still cannot believe how terrible he is. bad influence indeed. the only thing i should learn from him is his studying methods and his hardworking nature.





he bloody taught me how to commit suicide if i felt unhappy about my Alevels.





-_-'''



his "101 ways to commit suicide" version. i feel so dotdotdot sometimes. don't ever judge a book by it's cover--again, has re-established its meaning. HAHAHAHA.



and well, he taught me self defense techniques against perverts. -_-''' not that i needed it though, but he was kindly offering me the "many many ways to defend yourself". hahahaha. he's funny lah.

i feel so pms-y lately. and i realised my tolerance level for noise when i decide to settle down to get some work done is actually rather low. especially if you don't know me and come and irritate me, i think you better reconsider. and if you still decide to go ahead and annoy me, then you really should get ready your coffin.


so bloody random. so bloody irrelevant and lacking of substance, much less content. =(


i might not get my NANO afterall. don't know when my pa decides to get the new plan. by then maybe promotion also over. DARN. and i suddenly am eyeing PSP with much desire. DARN DARN!

i think, as people write in their blogs over time, the quality should have improved right? the language and the expression and stuff. i look back at my entries and i do see slight improvements in the way i construct my sentences. yet on the other hand, i seem to have improved only that slightly. and it's quite discouraging.

and well, perhaps expected. i've accelerated far too fast in my early childhood days, and well, perhaps this oil and fuel to learn has burnt low. i admit that. i prefer non-memorising stuff, prefering content that makes me reflect and rethink my positions and stands on certain topics. i like to be challenged. but not in a way such as i have to memorise and freaking use formulas(eg. MATHS..ROAR!!!) which i certainly know clearly in my mind, i would have no use of in MY future. except for counting my rich husband's money. heheheheh.

but that's not the point. see? if i am SO freaking rich, i would have a self-hired accountant to do all that shit for me.

sigh. my point here is, i wish to spend my life doing something i love. things like volunteering in charity, overseas projects, raising awareness for things i believe in. anything. i like to do things like exercising out in the sun, instead of having to plant my butt down on my chair for 3/4 of the day reading things that i HAVE to learn, cos' it freaking decides my future.

life is wierd. only when you can pass all these obstacles in your life, then you can do things you like. if not, then forget it about trying to make it big.

dude, the ENTIRE stupid world WANTS to make it big. so what makes YOU think YOU will?



i remember this quote: everyone wants to do huge things in life, but they often forget, life is made up of many small things.







//being someone is difficult, being someone great is even harder.


perhaps, i just need a rest from all these shit after this shit, to think about the shit i want to do in the rest of my shitty life.