yes, if anyone paid attention, i did say i hate mondays and tuesdays. and yes, this entry is not gonna deny that. i still detest and dread the first two days of the week. bad attitude? whatever. like i need you to care.
assemblies are killing me slowly. it's ok when u get to tune out everything you don't want to listen to, and only pay attention to those really important ones. not that there were much announcements of that importance anyway. but my point is, sometimes i get so turned off simply by looking up at the balcony to see those same people up there. like hawks. staring, observing. do something wrong, that's it.
sometimes i just don't understand. but i guess it's better not to mention any names cos' you never know who(which you do not welcome) to come read your blog. yes, this world is full of spies. we are all spies in our own ways. we read blogs but yet do not leave comments. we read blogs of people we do not know, and we form impressions and comments about them. we read blogs of people we know, and our impressions or opinions about them change. yes, i agree it's the world wide web, yes i agree how slanderous things can get when spoken without much thought. rash actions can indeed ruin someone, and his/her future for life.
there is no strict censorship on the web, and so it's each and every blogger's responsibility to watch what we say(or write in this case), lest we insult or offend anyone.
you may say, so what? it's MY blog, i have MY rights to write what i want and do as i like. but think about it. it's YOUR blog i agree, but others have THEIR rights to sue you should they want to. we should not abuse human rights. each has his/her rights. so let's start respecting each other.
if you want to hurl abuses or insults at someone you dislike, do so intelligently. if not, do not write at all.
that's my advice of cos', for all the bloggers out there. i am no pro. i am no expert. but it's this process of blogging, that has taught me how to twist words and their meanings, to form subtle and yet not so subtle comments and opinions of things around me. language is beautiful. let's all learn to use it appropriately.
no one likes to read a offensive and abusive insult about himself/herself anywhere, anytime. would you? at least if he/her were to read, make sure that he/her does not know it's him/her you are commenting about. *winks*
language is beautiful.
but to be able to manipulate it, renders language even more beautiful than ever. :)
happy blogging! and my sympathies to those who got reprimanded by whoever in charge. though i do not side with either party, but i think people usually blog with intentions of writing what's true--at least to a certain degree. maybe there IS something wrong with whoever that person/object/event/issue they are discussing(although with excessive colourful language). yup, that's just my point of view la.
--------
on a lighter note, i shall blog about the OTHER events that happened today. nothing much though.
except that i caught The Flu. again. yes, i am extremely supceptible to this irritating bug hovering around in the air. sucks totally.
i think it's an extremely destructive illness. renders you almost completely hopeless and helpless. you can't do anything to stop it at once. you can't do anything to cure it at once. you kill trees in the process. you waste water(if you choose this "medium" to clear of your..gooey substances). you cannot concentrate and do work with your fullest potential because you are tearing or sneezing 3/4 the time you are awake. your lungs are aching like hell because every sneeze vibrates them like a 9.0 amplitude earthquake on the ritcher scale. you feel like dying cos' it's either you can't a)stop sneezing b)stop sniffing c)stop your running nose d)stop blowing your nose d)stop clearing your throat e)stop feeling like sleeping.
aiya, in short, it just tears me apart, breaks me down as the day progresses.
lousy day. skipped another lecture. but if i didn't have The Flu, i probably would have went. felt like resting at home la.
that's it. i think i'm losing certain friends i care about alot. it's terrible, this feeling is terrible. i do hope one day she'll come tell me everything is the same as the past, everything is ok, everything between us is ok. do you know how much you mean to me? i guess you don't. *heaves a huge sigh*
hurts me everytime i think about it. resorted to NOT thinking about it to reduce the hurt i'm feeling inside. just hope one day you come comfort me, and reassure me everything is ok afterall.
just a out-of-nowhere thought: would you neglect your friends once you have a bf/gf? would you tend to hang out/rely on him/her more. would you rather forgo outings with your friends just to accompany him/her anywhere? would you rather talk to him/her than talk to your other friends?
i don't know la. personally i detest people who become like that after entering a relatonship. not that i'm of anyone to judge them, but it certainly brings me to think of what his/her definition of friendship is based on. a friend is only important when you have nothing else to do/no one else with you?
i cannot say i am not one of those people before. but because it's how u felt after being treated like that when your friends around you start behaving like taht before you come to realise how...undescribable that feeling is.
we always complain when our attached friends are spending so much time apart from us, and yet when WE are the ones attached, don't we do the same thing?
just a note to myself: friends are there for life. your fairer/tanner partner may come and go. so start treasuring your friends around you now, before one day you lose your "constant" companion, and then start to realise, that your friends don't care that much of your well-being anymore. no one likes being taken for granted. no one likes being a "spare tyre".
syafy has a new phone. so nice la. darn, i want a new phone so much. a phone i really like. but guess it's 2 more months or so before my dream comes true! =(
gotta fulfil another dream in the meantime.
STOP SLACKING JIELIN! START MUGGING!!! LOOK AT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU! THEY ARE STUDYING SO HARD. AND THEY ARE SMART!!! YOU ARE STUPID, AND YOU ARE STILL SLACKING. C'MON, WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!!!!
*slaps myself*
i was just thinking perhaps i can be a nurse. seems like a really fulfiling job. :) well, at least that's my "back-up plan" should i be rejected from university. sighhhh. it's good to have a back-up sometimes. don't wanna end up seeing myself stand at the highest floor of the tallest building in singapore(or anywhere else) and jumping down to my death.
sometimes suicide can be so tempting. seemingly an escape from all troubles. but fear not my friends, i am not(ok, some of you may be disappointed) going to commit suicide like that. quite a loser action. only will do it when im seriously desperate la.
realised so many people random-ing their entries. don't dare to hao lian issit started by me. hahahaha. but nvm la, i don't think it is. i'm not that great. :P
well, gotta change my style then. i'm constantly in search for a style i'm comfortable with, while trying to minimise the use of vulgarities. cos' i believe civilised people can insult intelligently without the usage of vulgarities. HAHAHAHAAH. except the part that i'm not-so-intelligent la. :D
no la, someone once told me it's such a huge turn off to watch and listen to someone whose vocabulary is limited to such language. it's saddening infact. imagine going to interview..and being a frank and open-minded speaker most of us are, words can KNN, KNS, TMD, WTF, WTH etc etc may just spill out of our own lips even if we really had no intentions of doing so.
it goes the same with every day conversations. people who speak well are naturally confident of themselves and with a strong grasp of the language, we can switch in between being vulgar(when certain occasions call for it :D) and being civilsed and polite. that's what i call versatility.
now, that's quite a bit for an entry. shall end here. gonna check the dictionary for another word to replace RANDOM.
it's so used around here it kinda frustrates me.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Monday, August 15, 2005
so random. :)
another very unproductive day sped past. skipped most lessons. i think i should at least feel abit guilty. on the other hand, i just couldn't be bothered for today. mondays and tuesdays are terrible. longest days of the week. but thank god tuesdays are shorter without the PE. sighhh.
do you believe that an over-dosage of anything/something can actually make you feel sick and tired of it? something that you used to love doing, something that u had an interest in..might just be gone forever?
well, it's true. im starting to get sick and tired of economics. and that's terrible. cos' it's supposed to be my best subject and also a subject im interested in. i think everyone can tell from the sliding grades im getting from econs..don't think i can maintain..perhaps i peaked too early..jumping 2 grades each exam..now, falling 4 grades PER exam. woahs. hahahahah.
sigh. that's shit totally. i think i might just take up arts and social science in university(should i be able to get into my dream uni and take either my dream course or this)..i think some unis even offer double degrees? sighhh. but i get past this first la.
im such a fickle person. easily distracted. easily bored. nothing can sustain my interest for long. fortunate or unfortunate i have no idea..but i havef a feeling it'll be a unfortunate thing for now.
talked to gail today while waiting for yun ma to dicuss her "NAPFA" stuff with mr khoo. yea, i'm raelly grateful for all that encouragement and stuff..i'll try my best. but somehow i cant seem to put words into actions. i've gotta be the most contradictory person ever. where's my motivation? where's my drive? where's my determination? all gone after Os.
like shit, totally.
was doodling about during GP where a teacher sat in to observe(don't know us or mr tan). but i was trying my best to be active and answer questions. BUT, i was really quite bored la. looked around for colour pens to draw. ended up with some lame drawings.
a totally innocent looking GP note.
on a closer look..ahhh, that's the vampire Jielin. but of cos' lacking that degree of cuteness. wanted to draw specs but seo was violently objecting..said "draw already not cute!!!". had to liquid away the half-done specs frame. HAHAHAHAHA.
ermm..J.E.Z in cartoon form!!! hahahaha. impulse drawing totally. i drew myself first. i turned out ghastly. so i looked for other things to keep me occupied. then i saw the two other idiots lazing and cheeky-ing around in class. so i thought i might as well try to draw them.
erm..yes, marshy turned out quite terrible. seriously i never intended you to look like that!!! :P ahahaha. but at least the stupid smile is there. :D
gene turned out..relatively passable. ahahaha.
i think my drawings are getting more bad to worse. can't believe i last time draw comics and real life art. BAH. my drawing got published by "xing qi wu zhou bao" before ok!!! hahaha..btw, it's some chinese language kids newspaper that is supposedly interactive and learning-tool.
im so dead really. i look around me, and i see people with their head bowed down studying intensely.
ah yes, my head does bow down too. but i'm sleeping.
see the difference? it's sad really. pathetic even. loser to the extent.
i gotta pull myself out of this shit-ass situation. just gonna keep wasting myself(or what's left of myself anyway).
scars by papa roach is like damn nice.
hahahahaa. papa roach. sounds like a father cockraoch. :)
proceeded to name syaf "syafy doggy!" hahahahaha. inside joke. :P btw if you're reading this... SIT!!! FETCH!!!
ok la, i shall be nice to syaf.
:) i'm a nice girl right syafy?
i'm not going to prom. not that anyone cares anyway. well ya, i don't think anyone would la. nevermind. gotta find some entertainment on that day. :) think i can save alot money also. just don't feel good spending som uch of my parents' money. esp. when im already planning to make them poorer by about 500 bucks for my new phone at eoy. :D
that ass of a zihao went offline and never came back. hmpffff.
probably roasting marshmellows. HAHAHAHA :P or reading econs, that pro! (gonna dedicate entry on you one day, with your VERY intelligent quotes and "very good zihao!" comments by a certain someone! :P)
aiya, he's probably roasting GP essays la..jiayou!!! :P
do you believe that an over-dosage of anything/something can actually make you feel sick and tired of it? something that you used to love doing, something that u had an interest in..might just be gone forever?
well, it's true. im starting to get sick and tired of economics. and that's terrible. cos' it's supposed to be my best subject and also a subject im interested in. i think everyone can tell from the sliding grades im getting from econs..don't think i can maintain..perhaps i peaked too early..jumping 2 grades each exam..now, falling 4 grades PER exam. woahs. hahahahah.
sigh. that's shit totally. i think i might just take up arts and social science in university(should i be able to get into my dream uni and take either my dream course or this)..i think some unis even offer double degrees? sighhh. but i get past this first la.
im such a fickle person. easily distracted. easily bored. nothing can sustain my interest for long. fortunate or unfortunate i have no idea..but i havef a feeling it'll be a unfortunate thing for now.
talked to gail today while waiting for yun ma to dicuss her "NAPFA" stuff with mr khoo. yea, i'm raelly grateful for all that encouragement and stuff..i'll try my best. but somehow i cant seem to put words into actions. i've gotta be the most contradictory person ever. where's my motivation? where's my drive? where's my determination? all gone after Os.
like shit, totally.
was doodling about during GP where a teacher sat in to observe(don't know us or mr tan). but i was trying my best to be active and answer questions. BUT, i was really quite bored la. looked around for colour pens to draw. ended up with some lame drawings.
a totally innocent looking GP note.
on a closer look..ahhh, that's the vampire Jielin. but of cos' lacking that degree of cuteness. wanted to draw specs but seo was violently objecting..said "draw already not cute!!!". had to liquid away the half-done specs frame. HAHAHAHAHA.
ermm..J.E.Z in cartoon form!!! hahahaha. impulse drawing totally. i drew myself first. i turned out ghastly. so i looked for other things to keep me occupied. then i saw the two other idiots lazing and cheeky-ing around in class. so i thought i might as well try to draw them.
erm..yes, marshy turned out quite terrible. seriously i never intended you to look like that!!! :P ahahaha. but at least the stupid smile is there. :D
gene turned out..relatively passable. ahahaha.
i think my drawings are getting more bad to worse. can't believe i last time draw comics and real life art. BAH. my drawing got published by "xing qi wu zhou bao" before ok!!! hahaha..btw, it's some chinese language kids newspaper that is supposedly interactive and learning-tool.
im so dead really. i look around me, and i see people with their head bowed down studying intensely.
ah yes, my head does bow down too. but i'm sleeping.
see the difference? it's sad really. pathetic even. loser to the extent.
i gotta pull myself out of this shit-ass situation. just gonna keep wasting myself(or what's left of myself anyway).
scars by papa roach is like damn nice.
hahahahaa. papa roach. sounds like a father cockraoch. :)
proceeded to name syaf "syafy doggy!" hahahahaha. inside joke. :P btw if you're reading this... SIT!!! FETCH!!!
ok la, i shall be nice to syaf.
:) i'm a nice girl right syafy?
i'm not going to prom. not that anyone cares anyway. well ya, i don't think anyone would la. nevermind. gotta find some entertainment on that day. :) think i can save alot money also. just don't feel good spending som uch of my parents' money. esp. when im already planning to make them poorer by about 500 bucks for my new phone at eoy. :D
that ass of a zihao went offline and never came back. hmpffff.
probably roasting marshmellows. HAHAHAHA :P or reading econs, that pro! (gonna dedicate entry on you one day, with your VERY intelligent quotes and "very good zihao!" comments by a certain someone! :P)
aiya, he's probably roasting GP essays la..jiayou!!! :P
Sunday, August 14, 2005
went for dinner at The Lemon Grass Thai Restaurant at Pasir Panjang. i didn't even know there was an outlet there. quite cool la. service really FAST. as in REALLY REALLY fast compared to heerens where we usually have to wait for 15 mins before someone sees your waving(and very tired) hand and comes over to entertain your request.
the people there very friendly also. very efficient. very attentive. glass of water less than half full, they come buzzing over to refill. had to say "thank-yous" countless times.
/passive note:
i think waiters are humans too. DO NOT click your fingers to get their attention. DO NOT clap your hands to get their attention. DO NOT cluck your tongue to get their attetion.
they are NOT dogs or whatever animals that listens at your beck and call. please treat them as if they are humans. cos they ARE humans. no one likes to be treated like animals. thank you.
and oh, the food really looks bad here. the lighting so doesn't do the food justice!! BAH. hahahah. but neverminds. enjoy!
the lemon grass restaurant at pasir panjang which i never knew of. well, there is always a first time. :)
i loved the lighting, despite the bad photographs. The Sister thought the lighting was "so normal la".
i love green veggies. little kids should eat more veggies.
claypot tofu..
the tom yum soup. brought me to heaven. :D
sweet and sour prawns.
these veggies look realy pale under my camera's flash. :(
now you see it...now you don't! by the way those round things are actually ONIONS. my idiotic father thought it was SCALLOPS and attempted to eat them before my sister stopped him in time. eWwww.
empty too. we are very very hungry people.
no wonder they say the chinese always eat very fast.
The Extremely Greedy Dad.
they say The Sister and The Mother look alike. i beg to differ.
way unglam. caught off guard by The Siter. i look like i'm staring daggers at the waiter who is clearing the plates. but i'm not!!! i'm a nice and friendly girl, really! :P
is the lighting really bad or is it me? damn, i look like a chipmunk. a very un-cute one.
the beauty that shuns the shutters.
the high-class tissues.
"wahhhh, very high class leh, give us wipe our hands and mouths after meals! other outlets don't have one.."
"ya, service very good."-picks up on to wipe her mouth delicately like a very high class person.
-blows my nose with the tissues-
-The Sister cannot could not stop laughing for at least one minute.-
what. very funny meh? tissues is used to do this one ma. :X
/diversion.
i just told marshy i'm gonna be A Glam Vampire. i wonder how. hahahaha. but yes, i am Glam ok! (<--see white aS*! i AM Glam. apart from the red lips incident. :X shhhh)
the people there very friendly also. very efficient. very attentive. glass of water less than half full, they come buzzing over to refill. had to say "thank-yous" countless times.
/passive note:
i think waiters are humans too. DO NOT click your fingers to get their attention. DO NOT clap your hands to get their attention. DO NOT cluck your tongue to get their attetion.
they are NOT dogs or whatever animals that listens at your beck and call. please treat them as if they are humans. cos they ARE humans. no one likes to be treated like animals. thank you.
and oh, the food really looks bad here. the lighting so doesn't do the food justice!! BAH. hahahah. but neverminds. enjoy!
the lemon grass restaurant at pasir panjang which i never knew of. well, there is always a first time. :)
i loved the lighting, despite the bad photographs. The Sister thought the lighting was "so normal la".
i love green veggies. little kids should eat more veggies.
claypot tofu..
the tom yum soup. brought me to heaven. :D
sweet and sour prawns.
these veggies look realy pale under my camera's flash. :(
now you see it...now you don't! by the way those round things are actually ONIONS. my idiotic father thought it was SCALLOPS and attempted to eat them before my sister stopped him in time. eWwww.
empty too. we are very very hungry people.
no wonder they say the chinese always eat very fast.
The Extremely Greedy Dad.
they say The Sister and The Mother look alike. i beg to differ.
way unglam. caught off guard by The Siter. i look like i'm staring daggers at the waiter who is clearing the plates. but i'm not!!! i'm a nice and friendly girl, really! :P
is the lighting really bad or is it me? damn, i look like a chipmunk. a very un-cute one.
the beauty that shuns the shutters.
the high-class tissues.
"wahhhh, very high class leh, give us wipe our hands and mouths after meals! other outlets don't have one.."
"ya, service very good."-picks up on to wipe her mouth delicately like a very high class person.
-blows my nose with the tissues-
-The Sister cannot could not stop laughing for at least one minute.-
what. very funny meh? tissues is used to do this one ma. :X
/diversion.
i just told marshy i'm gonna be A Glam Vampire. i wonder how. hahahaha. but yes, i am Glam ok! (<--see white aS*! i AM Glam. apart from the red lips incident. :X shhhh)
you and me.
you and me.
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
-lifehouse.
oh god, this song is freaking nice. amongst many other songs of course. hahaha. damn, i think songs therapy is so my thing. :D
staring at the sun.
Daylight on my shoulder
Makes me feel alive
You kept me standing in your shadow
And it’s a cold cold place to hide
I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah
I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I know you won’t let me
But just turn and walk away
I’m tired of when you kick me around
Trying to kill my dreams and break me down
But I won’t hang around
I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah
I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun
Daylight on my shoulder
I know its time to run
Yes I know its time to run
I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe (stealing every breath I breathe)
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
Yeah, yeah staring at the sun
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
-rooster
there is a reason why i hyperventilate everytime i listen to the songs in my shuffle. :P no matter how random, it's so comforting and high to listen to the songs you love. ahhh, the simple pleasures.
the random pleasures. :)
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
-lifehouse.
oh god, this song is freaking nice. amongst many other songs of course. hahaha. damn, i think songs therapy is so my thing. :D
staring at the sun.
Daylight on my shoulder
Makes me feel alive
You kept me standing in your shadow
And it’s a cold cold place to hide
I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah
I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I know you won’t let me
But just turn and walk away
I’m tired of when you kick me around
Trying to kill my dreams and break me down
But I won’t hang around
I’m running away from this messed up place
I’m breaking free, yeah yeah
I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun
Daylight on my shoulder
I know its time to run
Yes I know its time to run
I’m tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can’t see
Stealing every breath I breathe (stealing every breath I breathe)
You push me into overdrive
And I don’t need this kind of light coz now I’m done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
Yeah, yeah staring at the sun
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
-rooster
there is a reason why i hyperventilate everytime i listen to the songs in my shuffle. :P no matter how random, it's so comforting and high to listen to the songs you love. ahhh, the simple pleasures.
the random pleasures. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2005
bleahs.
double bleah. super unproductive.
studying at the table blew me to lala land. i K.O-ed on my bed. awoke only when the national day encore telecast was about to end.
slacked around and watched tons of tv. STILL watching tv. and im online.
i don't know how long this will continue, before i start to regret my stupid actions, and by then, regretting would be futile.
all these shitty philosophical stuff i know, and yet i refuse to put my words into actions.
lousy rotten, totally.
i think xiao an from zhen qing is damn cute. not that i am into the series itself, but i just find him attractive everytime my mother tunes in to the show.
hahahahahaha.
"xiao an is damn cute lehhhh! but hor, i think he's cute only in HK tv shows la, in Singapore shows he not as cute liao"-my younger niece during cny gossiping with the aunts.
"Singapore got very shuai actors meh?"-the aunt.
HAHAHAHAHA. darn. they are the loudest and yet cheeriest(don't think there is such a word) bunch of people. this is why i love my boisterous father's side relatives so much more than my mother's tame and quiet side. :D
can't believe all those lame jokes they were telling on national day gathering. BAH. really cold-can-go-arctic-lamer-than-zihao's-jokes-kind. marshy, you should meet them one day, i think you'll get along VERY well with them. HAHAHAHA.
speaking of haoz, i was reading his blog. suddenly made me think of sec sch national day celebrations. sighhh. was good la, those days. miss all that fun man. he is right. i felt proud to be a Singaporean everytime celebrations ended. i'll be singing national day songs with so much gusto like a kindergarten kid. i felt proud of Singapore and its achievements abeit it's puny size.
ahhh. found a picture taken during sec sch national day celebration! with some of my best buddies. missing pear though!
/damn blogspot who can't even upload one freaking picture. stupid stupid technology.
darn, i just miss those good old days.
i can't wait for all these shit to end.
yet, it hasn't even started.
i haven't even started.
i know i can do this if i try harder.
i'm not even trying.
i'm a walking disappointment.
studying at the table blew me to lala land. i K.O-ed on my bed. awoke only when the national day encore telecast was about to end.
slacked around and watched tons of tv. STILL watching tv. and im online.
i don't know how long this will continue, before i start to regret my stupid actions, and by then, regretting would be futile.
all these shitty philosophical stuff i know, and yet i refuse to put my words into actions.
lousy rotten, totally.
i think xiao an from zhen qing is damn cute. not that i am into the series itself, but i just find him attractive everytime my mother tunes in to the show.
hahahahahaha.
"xiao an is damn cute lehhhh! but hor, i think he's cute only in HK tv shows la, in Singapore shows he not as cute liao"-my younger niece during cny gossiping with the aunts.
"Singapore got very shuai actors meh?"-the aunt.
HAHAHAHAHA. darn. they are the loudest and yet cheeriest(don't think there is such a word) bunch of people. this is why i love my boisterous father's side relatives so much more than my mother's tame and quiet side. :D
can't believe all those lame jokes they were telling on national day gathering. BAH. really cold-can-go-arctic-lamer-than-zihao's-jokes-kind. marshy, you should meet them one day, i think you'll get along VERY well with them. HAHAHAHA.
speaking of haoz, i was reading his blog. suddenly made me think of sec sch national day celebrations. sighhh. was good la, those days. miss all that fun man. he is right. i felt proud to be a Singaporean everytime celebrations ended. i'll be singing national day songs with so much gusto like a kindergarten kid. i felt proud of Singapore and its achievements abeit it's puny size.
ahhh. found a picture taken during sec sch national day celebration! with some of my best buddies. missing pear though!
/damn blogspot who can't even upload one freaking picture. stupid stupid technology.
darn, i just miss those good old days.
i can't wait for all these shit to end.
yet, it hasn't even started.
i haven't even started.
i know i can do this if i try harder.
i'm not even trying.
i'm a walking disappointment.
Friday, August 12, 2005
retail therapy.
retail therapy is good, when you have the financial means of course. (which i don't)
but i splurged $10 on earrings today. 3 pairs to be exact. hahahaha. i never spent so much on earrings before ok. darn. i better wear them sometime, if not it'll be just another accessory "i-bought-but-never-wear" in my closet.
no wonder my parents always complain my stuff are cluttered around the house, making it look so unkempt. like whatever can??! i try my best already. but this is how i like my things to be. so evict me la. BAH.
i feel like im having PMS. but ont literally. just the signs and symptoms. so irritating. i hate it when i hate almost everything around me for nothing. feel so unreasonable and terrorising. grrrr. so don't offend me tonight.
must be the stress. and not doing anything about it..so dead so dead.
feeling so pissed with my mother. seriously sometimes i develop violent tendencies being with her. she nags so much i have this urge to
a) slap her(to hell with respect, i have none for her sad to say)
b) staple up her mouth/scotch-tape her mouth/stuff her mouth up with alot shit.
c) ignore her/tune her out/go into room and slam door.
d) attitude.
e) leave the house and never come back, if not for so much stuff at home that belongs to ME.
f) kill myself.
g) or i can kill her.
yes. i know very violent and very sick in the mind. sometimes i think im imbalanced psychologically. and im worried. but i think only SHE can make me feel this way. no words can describe how i feel about her. i think i've never met any mother like her(you can infer positively or negatively for yourself).
sometimes im just so envious of other mothers of my friends around me. envious how wonderful their mothers are. how envious, that these mothers are not mine.
i know comparing is wrong. but i cant help it. comparison takes place ever single second in out lives. admit it la.
i feel REALLY REALLY like an emotional wreck now. so loser.
gotta end now. bye.
but i splurged $10 on earrings today. 3 pairs to be exact. hahahaha. i never spent so much on earrings before ok. darn. i better wear them sometime, if not it'll be just another accessory "i-bought-but-never-wear" in my closet.
no wonder my parents always complain my stuff are cluttered around the house, making it look so unkempt. like whatever can??! i try my best already. but this is how i like my things to be. so evict me la. BAH.
i feel like im having PMS. but ont literally. just the signs and symptoms. so irritating. i hate it when i hate almost everything around me for nothing. feel so unreasonable and terrorising. grrrr. so don't offend me tonight.
must be the stress. and not doing anything about it..so dead so dead.
feeling so pissed with my mother. seriously sometimes i develop violent tendencies being with her. she nags so much i have this urge to
a) slap her(to hell with respect, i have none for her sad to say)
b) staple up her mouth/scotch-tape her mouth/stuff her mouth up with alot shit.
c) ignore her/tune her out/go into room and slam door.
d) attitude.
e) leave the house and never come back, if not for so much stuff at home that belongs to ME.
f) kill myself.
g) or i can kill her.
yes. i know very violent and very sick in the mind. sometimes i think im imbalanced psychologically. and im worried. but i think only SHE can make me feel this way. no words can describe how i feel about her. i think i've never met any mother like her(you can infer positively or negatively for yourself).
sometimes im just so envious of other mothers of my friends around me. envious how wonderful their mothers are. how envious, that these mothers are not mine.
i know comparing is wrong. but i cant help it. comparison takes place ever single second in out lives. admit it la.
i feel REALLY REALLY like an emotional wreck now. so loser.
gotta end now. bye.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
yeah.
actually got more pics to upload into the blog. but it was taking so freaking long i got tired and went to bed. so sorry la. but at least it's in my lappy, hopefully don't crash or whatever shit la.
stupid net. i couldn't even sign into msn for like a hundred years. i kept trying and trying and trying. i think my net has gone bonkers. PMS la. gRrrrr. in the end i had to reinstall my msn and try again. but it still took damn long and i was on the verge of restarting my com for the THIRD time. BAH. i feel violent already.
sometimes technology seems to be able to bring out the worst side in me. when my lappy shuts down FOR NO REASON. when the internet doesnt seem to be working AT ALL. when the washing machine broke down and i had to HAND-WASH my own uniform for a few days. when my handphone AUTO SHUT DOWN and AUTO RESTARTED on its own. when the light bulb blew. when the shower head refuses to work. so many things can get me pissed. so easily pissed. yet so easily appeased all the same.
sighhh. speaking of technology. i just broke my heart. i DROPPED MY SHUFFLE. oh man. im like damn damn freaking upset can. NOW GOT DENT ALREADY! :( im traumatised. syaf witnessed everything. it happened at the bus stop outside school la. sighhhh. damn sad. DENT LA!! grrrr.
they say beauty is imperfect. so maybe this makes my shuffle even more beautiful? hahahahaha.
winnie was commenting that my sister is really pretty. ok, seriously, i wasn't surprised la. c'mon, i think it's a really common comment nowadays. or maybe let's just say since i was BORN can? *shrugs* it's life la. sometimes it sucks to have a sister that is so much more gd looking than you are. it seems like the only comment relatives make to you is "you've grown up!", while they pour praises and compliments about how good my sister looks.
hey, im human too ok. i do get hurt sometimes. i mean, i know you can't compare two different people with different styles and looks and features. but i do detest my sister sometimes for looking so good, while i like..average? yea, it does gets on my nerves when my relatives start spewing on comments. it does hurt me sometimes. but over the years, it seems like i've grown numbed to it. i mean, i hear it every cny and every other gathering can???
and besides, relatives aren't the only one. friends have come asking me why my sister look so good, hardly even resemble me. yea. subtle hints here and there. I DO GET IT LA, THANKS ALOT. *stares*
looks ain't everything i guess. as long as i'm pretty happy about the way i am now, it doesn't hurt as much. so, hey, continue giving your comments, im seriously non-suicidal about it! :) i admit my sister is way prettier than me..hahaha. but i still love her all the same.
and it helps that she knows what i love. what clothes i like. what im comfortable with. cos' i never experiment much with dressing. i don't even know what's my style. bascially i don't really care. presentable can already. over-dress is the most awkward moments in my life. luckily it happened less than 2 times. phew.
i seem to be gaining more. must stop eating when im not hungry already. can save money somemore. sighhhh.
i haven't watched charlie and the chocolate factory. i feel so sua ku. so sad. i want to watch!!!! grrr.
study study study. today not productive. macs too noisy and distracting. i kept falling aslp. too cold cannot think.
excuses? as usual.
ahhh, before i forget, the most recent picture of J.E.Z! :) hahaha, my love totally. serious! i mean it!!
i mean, they are like the fewest and rarest of the male buddies ever. the besties definitely plus guarantee chop!!! :)
i love you guys! no matter what..(: *GROUP HUG!!!*
hahahah, eh, but we never group hug before la. you know sometimes i think being good friends don't mean you have to be there EVERY SINGLE SECOND. it's like im not around with bishi every second, yet i love her company and our easy friendship everytime we get together. not many people have this connection with me..i thank god truly for all these treasures i possess now..and till forever i hope..(:
the pic is ok laaa..everyone really changed. and it's for the better! hahaha, though i really hate my fringe now..and i still look terrible in photos(and in real person). :)
but you know, sometimes what you SEE in the photo is nothing much. what you FEEL for the people in the photo is more important. :)
J.E.Z--FULL ATTENDANCE!!! :D
stupid net. i couldn't even sign into msn for like a hundred years. i kept trying and trying and trying. i think my net has gone bonkers. PMS la. gRrrrr. in the end i had to reinstall my msn and try again. but it still took damn long and i was on the verge of restarting my com for the THIRD time. BAH. i feel violent already.
sometimes technology seems to be able to bring out the worst side in me. when my lappy shuts down FOR NO REASON. when the internet doesnt seem to be working AT ALL. when the washing machine broke down and i had to HAND-WASH my own uniform for a few days. when my handphone AUTO SHUT DOWN and AUTO RESTARTED on its own. when the light bulb blew. when the shower head refuses to work. so many things can get me pissed. so easily pissed. yet so easily appeased all the same.
sighhh. speaking of technology. i just broke my heart. i DROPPED MY SHUFFLE. oh man. im like damn damn freaking upset can. NOW GOT DENT ALREADY! :( im traumatised. syaf witnessed everything. it happened at the bus stop outside school la. sighhhh. damn sad. DENT LA!! grrrr.
they say beauty is imperfect. so maybe this makes my shuffle even more beautiful? hahahahaha.
winnie was commenting that my sister is really pretty. ok, seriously, i wasn't surprised la. c'mon, i think it's a really common comment nowadays. or maybe let's just say since i was BORN can? *shrugs* it's life la. sometimes it sucks to have a sister that is so much more gd looking than you are. it seems like the only comment relatives make to you is "you've grown up!", while they pour praises and compliments about how good my sister looks.
hey, im human too ok. i do get hurt sometimes. i mean, i know you can't compare two different people with different styles and looks and features. but i do detest my sister sometimes for looking so good, while i like..average? yea, it does gets on my nerves when my relatives start spewing on comments. it does hurt me sometimes. but over the years, it seems like i've grown numbed to it. i mean, i hear it every cny and every other gathering can???
and besides, relatives aren't the only one. friends have come asking me why my sister look so good, hardly even resemble me. yea. subtle hints here and there. I DO GET IT LA, THANKS ALOT. *stares*
looks ain't everything i guess. as long as i'm pretty happy about the way i am now, it doesn't hurt as much. so, hey, continue giving your comments, im seriously non-suicidal about it! :) i admit my sister is way prettier than me..hahaha. but i still love her all the same.
and it helps that she knows what i love. what clothes i like. what im comfortable with. cos' i never experiment much with dressing. i don't even know what's my style. bascially i don't really care. presentable can already. over-dress is the most awkward moments in my life. luckily it happened less than 2 times. phew.
i seem to be gaining more. must stop eating when im not hungry already. can save money somemore. sighhhh.
i haven't watched charlie and the chocolate factory. i feel so sua ku. so sad. i want to watch!!!! grrr.
study study study. today not productive. macs too noisy and distracting. i kept falling aslp. too cold cannot think.
excuses? as usual.
ahhh, before i forget, the most recent picture of J.E.Z! :) hahaha, my love totally. serious! i mean it!!
i mean, they are like the fewest and rarest of the male buddies ever. the besties definitely plus guarantee chop!!! :)
i love you guys! no matter what..(: *GROUP HUG!!!*
hahahah, eh, but we never group hug before la. you know sometimes i think being good friends don't mean you have to be there EVERY SINGLE SECOND. it's like im not around with bishi every second, yet i love her company and our easy friendship everytime we get together. not many people have this connection with me..i thank god truly for all these treasures i possess now..and till forever i hope..(:
the pic is ok laaa..everyone really changed. and it's for the better! hahaha, though i really hate my fringe now..and i still look terrible in photos(and in real person). :)
but you know, sometimes what you SEE in the photo is nothing much. what you FEEL for the people in the photo is more important. :)
J.E.Z--FULL ATTENDANCE!!! :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
