arse.

in one week, i've eaten two buffets. kill me already. =((((

first was the sakae sushi, then today international buffet at mirama hotel. BOOS.

how can i even slim down. haiz.

tuitioned. going crazy. i htink i know what the surprise is already.
pretty sad A didn't contact me yet. =(

tml should be another dinner with parents.
tuitioning still.
i'm like spending my holidays working. full of arse.

the back of my right ear is swollen and pretty painful. =( too heaty.
i think i shall go for a run tml afternoon; back from tuition.

sianzzzz.

mans i love wu yue tian S.H.E's song that MV. got ah xin. drools. i forgot how cute he was already. HAHAHAHAH. toot toot but very sweet.

yay mayday rocks my socks. must go dig my mayday songs again. =)

it's realllllyyyy hot these days. dying.

i wanted to get a bag from a spree. and that was yesterday night. i just went to check. the frigging bag is gone. WTFFFF.

not first time already. suan le man.. FATE.
that burberry bag is mine. HAHAHAHAHHA.
hai. money please come to me.

i'm the sleeping immortal.

205 out.

damn spoil. sigh.
this sem, if i still don't drop out of the DL, i should be praying to some higher powers.

but who can i blame? last minute work certainly doesn't work wonders.
-shrugs-

tuitioning for entire day. then going out for dinner to celebrate my mother's mother's birthday. my wai po lah.

i feel constipated now.
gee. i'm always so full of shit.

am i being too materialistic? simply because the rest of the world is? am i missing something? am i missing something more important?
i feel like some _____ just whizzed past my head and i have no frigging idea.
it's like that tennis ball which zipped past my head by mere inches at the playground.
or that toy car which almost smashed onto my head from stories above had i walked faster.
or that motorbike which could have run me over and left me bedridden for life.
or that subaru.

escaping death and injury.
does this mean something?
how many more times can i run lucky?

perhaps my guardian angel has been working hard.
perhaps he/she feels that i'm still not ready.
maybe i really am not.

i think that i know what i want.
i feel that i will get there somehow.
but how sure can i be?
be real.

i need help.
i need a crystal ball.

ahhh, songs.
flows through my veins.

eek wrinkles! hahahah joking lahhh. it's smiley lines. =D

apparently she thinks sticking tongue out is damn hot now.

come back fast. we will miss nehneh.

wheee. cam whoring at the mrt station. tskkk.

and in school too. :)



-----

it's you, it's you,
you make me sing;
you're every word,
you're every line,
you're everything.
:)

sale sale sale.

zzzzz.
tuitioned that hungry ghost today. my god, im amazed at his appetite. he can freaking swallow an elephant and still feel hungry. puberty i call that.

met monz at vivo for shopping, meal and update!
wah lau eh, she so rich now seh. work in bank. starting pay so high somemore.
it's like....almost 5 times more than mine. =((((

cannot make it mans. i'm so gonna hatch my money plan. and it better give me my money sources. HAHAHAHA.

ate at terra cafe. some new place both of us haven't ate at, all because i insisted on eating something soupy, and well, they happened to offer some cheapo $9.90 meal consisting of tomyumsoup and ice-cream desert!

monz ate her SAVOURY BAKED RICE. got soup and icecream somemore seh!
HAHAHAH. cheap lor. and we got this card that entitles us to 10% discount at both outlets every meal! wah lau eh, super good marketing i call that. only the waitors and waitresses have difficulty communicating in english. and i thought vivocity outlets required their staff to be fluent in many languages? hmmms.

still, we ate, talked about recent happenings in life, then went off to shop!
my gosh. i bought another white top, which supports my YY trend (it's damn in ok lao meow) and can be adjusted at the shoulders to make it off shoulder! woooo. sexy mama. hehe. white makes me fat. hell.

monz bought office wear also. sia lah. we walked past zara, and i just anyhow say go in see see. my god, the moment we stepped in, both of us thought zara had some on-going war. all the clothes were strewn ALL OVER THE PLACE. shoes, tops, bottoms, WOMEN and their poor bfs. HAHAHAHA.

so we proceeded to conquer the sale. honestly, both of us damn ulu lah, don't know there's a sale in zara. zzzz.

she bought more office tops. damn nice. i envy thin people. =((( and it's freaking bargain. i bought some black and blue dress. whee. finally, a dress after so long. lovesss. but i think many people will be having that dress. hell. i just want something that doesn't make me look fat, looks cheeky, young and fun. dresses are the best. =)

ahhh, edwin was there too. sighhh. nice nice bf to monz seh. jealous. hahahaha.
so we parted after we left zara. so late all the shops were closed.
meet up soon mans. that rich girl. =(
-----

hallucinating. that $215 guess watch.
that $119 zara bag.
omgomg. just as i was about to leave, i saw this gorgeous zara bag that looked fucking expensive. =((((
it IS expensive, but my point here is that it looks like it just came out of a high-end boutique in taka or paragon. sighs.
dammit.
no money.

ok that's it man. i'm gonna save for splurges. and when i mean splurges, i mean SERIOUSLY HIGH CLASS stuff. must make my money worth it.

ROAR. MONEY MONEY MONEY.
-----

it's weird. cos' today while i was talking to monz about A, then as i was on my way home, A msged me and ask me if i gave tuition. apparently A has lobang. zzzzz.

my omph don't have to be that qiang ba.
HAHAHAHAH.

A is attached anyway.
no interest. just the M word. :)
-----

i'm pretty realistic.
and i just recalled wj and jh saying that they have a surprise for me. zzzz. it better don't be some uncalled for surprise. zzzz.

if their surprise concerns more money earning, then it's fine. :)

ah, i said i'm realistic right.
i need money lah, or not how to survive; no pocket money leh.

-----

independence is good. now i want to think long term. time to pull some strings, and land myself in attractive prospects. :)

yay over for now.

exams are over for now, school resumes on tuesday.
now, it's tuition combo and some other random stuff inbetween.
quite a lot undone, a lot to be completed.

the finals for half the sem was....ok.
studied harder than i did for mid sems.
i guess i was more prepared in a sense too.
felt average about both papers; should be getting roughly same marks for both papers as compared to mid sems. UNLESS MY BEARDY'S PAPER GOT MIRACLE.
HAHAHAHHA.
oh wells.


shoutout to those boliao people: stop talking about others lah. gee, give yourself a break, and open your eyes bigbig to see who is right and who is wrong. this is all so childish and reeking of sour grapes.
honestly, i can do so much better, it's only if i WANT to or not. geddit?
and i don't have to resort those those means of underhand in order to get what i want. i'm not that stupid yet.
you all have got to realise, that results comes with hard work. for me, or even for us, that is what we do(or try to do). so piss off if you don't like what we are getting.

tired of all that hypocrisy. even if i try my best to stay out of everything. no interest in that P and B word mans.

----

sakae sushi buffet.
died mans. stuffed with so much rice.
YAY I SHOULD HAVE BECOME SMARTER OK.
HAHAHAHHA.

slacked around for a bit, then was tuition at centre.
my god, after so long of not screaming at them, suddenly i feel that familiar strain on my throat.
"only you can stand them mans. pei fu."
HAHAHHAHA. i am pretty patient and tolerant. i admit.
=DDD

money money money.
it's time for hatching the plan. i hope everything goes well.

ah still have blackills to gao dim. sianzzzz.
MEOW. WHEN HAR WHENNNN????

------
shagness.
i think i wouldn't have lasted so long at xh if i did not have such great and supportive friends around. especially glad to people like my principal and vice, and wy. it's always good to have them to balance out the PH.

at least wj understands, and it comforts me. it's good to get some advice form him time to time. which is why i always try to arrive earlier so that i can catch a chat with him in private.

cos' time zooms by when the class starts. no time to breathe.
kids.
it's not that i don't want to get private tuition, it just feels different.
when you have 10 over kids clamouring all over the place, yelling at you(they think i'm deaf), screaming at one another, shouting insults across the place, asking nonsensical and rubbish questions. and that all occurs the moment they SEE ME, or the very second i step into the class.
it's pretty havoc.
zoo.

time lah, time.

-----

finally cleaned up my act.
specifically, cleaned up the area i dominated in the living room. my god, machiam fight war with paper, dust and...rubbish. =((((

it's done. MINIMALLY. HAHAHAHAH.
oh wells, at least i won't suffocate in dust anymore.
for the time being. don't know how long it'll last though. sighs.
----

i'm damn tired. brought home stuff to mark. work undone!!! arghs.

ok run tomorrow. i'm damn fat now. shitty.
byebye.

a million lives.

i think to study in UB, you need at least a million lives for this 3 year span.
i'm not kidding.
i feel like i've aged......tons.

finally finished pauline's reading.
and i feel like i forgot everything.
great, just great.

beardy's untouched.
i'm quite dead.
damn amazed how i managed to achieve that perfect grade slip last sem. HAHAHAHAHHA.
i'm god.

okok, i WAS god.


pimples.
my face is like weather forecast.
stressed, cloudy ie. alot pimples.
relaxed, clear skies ie. no pimples.

fats are popping out again.
fatty.

my brain is.....ARGH.
it better not let me down for the next 2 days.
I NEED IT.
BECOME SMARTERRRRR.

erm yea. now i just sound stupid saying that.

i would like to believe that i am..erm...smart.
an A student.
but now.....haiz.
----

random note, had a freaking weird dream today/last night.
zzzzzzz.
i think my brain is damn cok now.

----
am i my own lucky star?
are you?
i will get what i want if i believe enough.
right?
----

the immmortal.
savour the very taste of sweetness.
that metallic taste.
runs through my veins.
darkness envelopes you.
are you scared?
don't worry, i'm always there with you.
watching, waiting, hunting.
till the dawn breaks.

stress-

when stress and pressure builds up, i take solace in

a) eat more
b) don't eat at all.

problem is that i alternate between the two. i'm like....a piece of ultra fatty beef. damn dulan.
and i feel like i'm becoming more and more stupid. little brain activity. ask me to study words and pages and essays, i think i will die.
wait, i think i died long ago.

projects are still...slightly more flexible and lively.

i know i really shouldn't grumble.
but let me continue.

I SLEEP TOO MUCH.
as in when the fatigue hits, i die on my bed and i don't wake up until hours later. and when i wake up, i think it was a total waste of time, and i want to slap myself.

yet when i am awake, i don't find that motivation to study or mug, then i slack and rot around doing don't know what i and end up wasting more time.

i really hate my lazy butt sometimes.

ROARRRRRR!!!

my brain is on a riot.

so to make up for the expected loss of income this month, i scheduled my week right after wednesday's exams to accomodate all my missed tuition from my cousin.
ARGH. money. i need it.
so it's wednesday centre tuition.
thursday cousin tuition.
friday cousin tuition.
sat cousin plus centre.
sun cousin.

my life is god damn exciting sometimes.

but money, is everything i need right now.

it sucks to not take any money from your parents. because when you are broke, you are doomed.
which is right now.
pride, destined to kill me one day.


brain food. i need brain.
it's the B culture.
BRAINY BEAUTY.
aspiration mans.

HAHAHAHAHAH.

there are so many leisure stuff i'm dying to do. catch mindless movies. rot around in town. chill in some cafe just talking and laughing. play some stupid arcade basketball game. sing crazily in kbox. eat to my stomach's content WITHOUT growing fatter. exercise and get more healthy. sleep without feeling guilty. and the list goes on.

these things, i doubt i will be able to do without feeling like i should be doing something else.

opportunity costs indeed.

tiresome.

i think my rashes will have scars.
aftermath.

i would love to excuse my heavy weight for presence of muscles.
but i think that would be cheating myself.

between lines of lies and self-comfort, deprecating jokes and self-honesty.
blurred-


i shall try to get information into my pea brain now.

never gonna score this semester.
i need miracles to happen.
or my As are not gonna appear.
PLOP from the list indeed.

don't need any guru to tell me that.


save my soul;
let me reincarnate.


you may not be able to tell, but it reads i love xg. HAHAHAHAH. somewhere along that line. if you could control destiny, could you alter mine to my wishes?

changed bg.

another version of same picture

i kinda like this bg. i have another one. shall change it when i feel bored with my current one.
HA.

feeling really stoned and lethargic.
want to go out and chill desperately.
but i know there are things waiting to be done and completed.
sucks.
procrastinator queen.

----
i don't know who you are. but you sure did offend me.
i wonder about the motives behind your accusations.
and perhaps it's jealousy.
perhaps it's just someone feeling upset. sour grapes.

nothing comes free.
grades don't fall from the sky.
you work for it, or you don't.
i worked hard last sem. i got what i deserved.
i slacked this sem. i got what i deserved.

cheat?
come on. don't act like you are so full of integrity.
i daresay so far my grades are clean.
do you dare challenge it?

i am not smart, but i am not stupid either.

don't provoke me, and i won't provoke you.
i'm harmless.
so think before you act.
life's hard. perhaps you had to learn it the hard way.
i'm still learning. but i am sure i can make my way out.
because i am doing what i want.
so stop blaming others blindly.
clear those lenses; identify right from wrong.


simply put, if we did not study AND cheated, do you think we'll still score well?
use your brains, my dear.

nuff' said.
-----

sushi buffet. 19.90 heels. mini wallet. more clothes. blackills. tuition. all shall resume after exams. haircut. hair streaks.

i miss-


love-hate us. because you cannot be me. nor her. it's ok, i understand. you don't have to try so hard.