hates marking.

got bored with marking. very annoying i say. ARGH.
marking compositions is one of my pet peeves.
so i did the quizzes i saw on meow's blog. so bored, you must understand.

You Are a Pinky

You are fiercely independent, and possibly downright weird. A great communicator, you can get along with almost anyone. You are kind and sympathetic. You support all your friends - and love them for who they are. You get along well with: The Ring Finger Stay away from: The Thumb

What Finger Are You?

fineee. i'm weird. HAHAHAHAHA. tskkk. how much must we trust these quizzes?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem intelligent and a bit intimidating. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

how true is this? haiz....

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?

HAHAHAHA. wtf. plssss. now, i'm doubting the accuracy of it all.

Butterfinger

They call you sticky fingers for a reason!

What Kind of Candy Are You?

errrr. yes butterfingers. i tend to drop things sometimes. does tripping count? -grimace-

Your Pride Quotient: 39%

You're a little prideful, but nothing out of the norm. Like everyone, you enjoy attention. But you're also good at sharing the spotlight!

How Much Pride Do You Have?

wheee. i'm a tad bit normal. good.

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

er ok. i have my personal hell, that's true.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

HAHAHAHA. oh wells, this is pretty accurate.

You Are 53% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy. You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends... But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

How Open Are You?

This too. not that bad.

You Are 55% Feminine, 45% Masculine

You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides. You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you. You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

yayyy. this i know. anyway the rain just fell out of nowhere. at 2:55am. weird.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 49% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

errr. this part i don't really know how to interpret. nvm.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional. You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it. You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out. Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable. Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there. You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

i guess.

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well. You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: Friendly Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

true true.

Your True Love's Name Is

Nathaniel H.

What's Your True Love's Name?

HAHAHAHAH. yes i'll wait for you nathaniel darling.
whoever, whereever you are.
i've never met a single nathaniel before.

You Are Lacy Panties

You're one seductive chica, but you've also got a ton of class. You are like a pinup girl, with timeless beauty and sexiness. Men are afraid to talk to you, knowing they'll be addicted to your charm immediately. Only a true manly man, confident in himself, is your perfect match.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

ULTIMATE. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. peng. really. totally don't trust quizzes already. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.


----

ok you can tell i'm bored.
off to bed. long day tml. =(

aftermath of work.

nua-ed half a sunday. felt darn good.
just integrated into my sofa and stared at the tv for an entire afteroon. shiok or not! i meannnnn, like NO BOOKS!

haiz, spare me the lecture. i know i have an mgq exam still and i really think my hate for maths is overwhelming i'm actually disappointed and ashamed at myself.

still, i'm not so much of a numbers and weird symbols person.
nor of formulas or well, related stuff.
pardon me and my stupidity will you?

it's a prerequisite unfortunately for me.
very very unfortunate.
so i'm praying the ever godly nehneh will bless me with her powers.
and i can scrape through mgq once again.

orientation briefing tml. how exciting.
first aid lehhhhh. like after 3 years of keeping away from the first aid manual and kit. haizzzz. some things cannot run away from ok. it's like some ka zua.
but still, I HAVE SKILLS OK. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

-shrugs.
briefing the ogls. i hope i won't screw it up. personally i have no idea how andrew and i are gonna make this work because i hardly ever converse with him and i feel awkward being the yakking duck.
he's divinely intelligent i must add.
makes me feel stupider than i ALREADY am.

looking through genting pictures, got reminded monz is going on her HK trip. haiz. i wanna kill myself already. WHYYYYYYY????
i want to travel overseas so bad even a trip to m'sia would be ultra exciting.

but no, i don't want to go there lah. i want some place exotic (not to pick up Es) with loads of architecture, cold weather, awesome scenery and interesting bold people. i wanna learn new things, see new places, breathe in air from the other side of the world.

away from the stifling atmosphere here.
wait long long lah, jielin.

you have like one week holiday very good liao.
dream on.

orientation is actually so near it's pretty scary.
though i don't play a large part in it, but just brings back memories of the various camps i've been through and conducted.
i miss the feeling of running an entire camp.
miss the feeling of being in one.
haha...-shrugs-

it's gonna be a flurry of activity, then ah gong's bdae, squeezing tuition duties here and there, grapping little sleep, then back to school. and i think my parents are going overseas over the weekend. meaning we'll have the house to ourselves. pretty cool. wheeeee.


i find work everywhere. tons of papers unmarked. students. grrrrr. it's like every piece of work multiplied 13 times. then multiply again by 5 classes. PLEASE KILL ME. haizzzz. i'm starting to think maybe i should never overestimate myself.
but i'm quite alive. shall persevere. money money money jielin.
you are different. you need it.


so, i need that extra income soon. yayyyyy paycheck day coming soon. -beams- i love it when my account beefs up from my hardwork. spending is not that sinful as taking money from parents in the past.

work work work jielinnnnn.

ran 1 hour today again. good mans.
after so long.
soaked again.
super hot and humid.

random musings.
arghhh. yes i must go back to that stack of essays.
roarrrr. i wish everyone would leave a line. NOW i know why my teachers insist we do that. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

aiiii.
prepared p2 maths mock test too.
accomplished mans.
byebye. pics next time when gene sends me. =)


those intense eyes;
stripped me of everything.
you saw right through me;
down to every little minute nerve.
you are the death of me;
just like the way you bring me alive.

haiz.

the thought of a short holiday is dreadful.
but i desperately wish to get rid of that maths module.
i will see what i'm resigned to.

feeling so nua from tuition and early mornings and late nights.
fucking exhausted, a train ride from boonlay to clementi is enough for a good nap.

i woke up to find a few guys staring at me with a little smile/smirk/weird expression(circle one).
WTFFFF. made me think of what my sister said a few days ago.
that i LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN MY SLEEP.
knnnnnnnn.
if i really laughed in my nap on the mrt, please please let me never see those people again.
SIBEI MALU.
suan ler.

don't ask me what i dreamt of.
i never remember my dreams now.
extreme fatigue.


looking shittier by the day.
i've gotta tone down the eclectism.
juggling close perfection never seemed so difficut.


lusts.
for wants.
never dies.
only i'm so physically and mentally tired i don't want to move a muscle, unless it's to earn more money.
and yes, i have one last paper i catch no balls or nuts.
i hate stats.
fucking kill me.
crash course please.


no more omphs.
i work for everything i want myself.
there's a beginning and there's a ending.
i think i have an aura that pushes everything away.


shrouded beauty;
clouded moon.

pain hits.

my teeth is hurting. my gums are hurting. i can actually feel tension and my teeth moving.
i feel pain.
it's numbed, but it's there.
shots and shots of it.

it's late and i should be sleeping. somehow when the adrenalin runs dry, i feel empty.
when the blur of activities end, i feel lonely.
or maybe it's just the sharp contrast.
i actually enjoy this period of the night.
silence and reflective for me.

i look at my ramblings and i wonder who reads them.
who actually bothers?
who takes them seriously?
who knows what my hidden meanings are?
who knows what's beneath all those?

perhaps life is nothing without it.
everyone seems to be glowing.
except me.
it's not jealousy.
it's not envy.
it's simply missing.
i've forgotten how it feels like.
how it's supposed to be.
how not to feel the hurt, the anger, the distrust.
how to let the ice melt and warmth take over.


the scent of burberry lingers still.
reminds me.
the perfect lavender smell is unfounded.
maybe that's why i'm still waiting.
the true meaning of lavender. who really knows?

one day, i reassure myself, one day.

the buzz of life.
all emptied slots filled up.
i want company of people i've neglected and miss.
yet i want personal space.
the dialectic of connection-autonomy indeed.
i feel drained, truth to be told.
i feel like someone took a ultra large vacuum cleaner and sucked everything out of me.
i'm simply a breathing exhaling machine.
emotions, sincerely, are shots of medicine.

i need a break. yet i am not sure what to do in this break.
i feel fulfilled from my life.
yet i feel lost too.
the time i'm spending on others, is actually much more than on myself.
i wish life would bring me to a meadow somewhere far away from here.
let me lay there in the morning sun; soak in the warm rays on my face and limbs.
hear the whispering of the tall grass around me.
smell the fragrance of spring.


perhaps the pursuit for material wants have surpassed the satisfaction of inner comfort.
in the flurry of events, i've forgotten what my simple aim in life was; since i was young.
i've replaced them with complicated, wishful thinking. unattainable, dreams, illusions and lies. money, possessions and more of everything. image, academics, love, friends, food, success.


i'm still hurting.
i wish the pain would stop.


i need an angel too.
i think mine went on a holiday long ago, and decided never to return.

loads of loveee.

update on ulcer: it's so swollen the right side of my lip is larger than the left.
sibei cool ok.
HAHAHAHA. i have pouty lips. even though they are uneven. -sheepish grin-


anywayyy, about the subject of today. TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY!!!!
asides from the collection of books, the dreary mgq lesson i still don't understand a shit, meeting up with haoz, gene and bishi rocksssss.
wheeeee. =D

and yes, shopping with abs.
-sighs.
spent a bomb in topshop.
im determined to slim down somemore.
grrrr.

eyeing that edhardy jacket.
or boots.
roarrrrr.
i so want a bomber jacket.
that f21 one. looks quite high class somehow. posh. =)
want my black leather slouchy boots.
want t100. but considering another model cos' i think resolution too high.
want new bag.
want to slim down.
want to become smarter.
i'm greedy arent i?


I FOUND OUT t100 is ONLY 699BUCKS.
ONLYYYY.
i expected more for the camera lah.
wtf.
still, it's money.
haiii.
i want a new pair of sneakers too.
=(


so random.
took loads of pics today. happy day.
laughed so much as compared to the past weeks.
really love love miss miss them.
=)
haiii.
some things still never change though.
like zeehao's saliva.
BUT, he started the bring brolly trend.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
sibei funny.
and i guess i still like to poke fun at him.
he reminds me of xiaozhong. HAHAHAHHA. opps.

and gene with his fabulous camera.
wheeee.
so talll also. taking pictures from ascending to descending height is so easy with them. HAHAHAHAH.
bishi the seatmate.
i like how things fall into place.
how everything feels.


take a deep breath.
and i enjoy the cool night breeze.

the moon shines brightly.
lighting up the clouds surrounding it.
the stars sprakling like jewels in the clear sky.
hope in bottomless emptiness.
nice. i like.

happy times don't last.
that's why i appreciate it.
and i remember it more clearly.
loves.
:)


i'm glad good things don't change.

it's over, almost.

so, things happen most unexpectedly.
i don't really know what it means, or what you want.
i guess i will play along with you.
nothing to lose.


flu day.
bad day.
maths day.
gonna do badly for maths.
BOO! =(
chinaman really came out some killer paper. cos' i didn't study the other chapters.
died badly.


i killed amazon forest today.
judging by the amount of tissues i used.
the examiner was kind enough to give me a plastic bag at the end of the paper.
"use this to throw away all your tissues ok?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
oh well, cannot blame me, the tissues covered half my table. =(


met meow and hel in town.
ate at star(or is it sun?) and moon japanese restaurant.
not baddd.
but flu spoiled my appetite abit.
feeling quite frail now.
even two panadols don't help.
i should fall sick more often.
dont eat and lose weight. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

watched 200 pounds girl!!! IT'S DAMN NICEEEE.
really. a good mix of humour and well, sadness.
i cried mans. geez. i'm a tearbag.
go watch. i recommend. (:


didn't get to shop or buy anything. boo! =(
i think not much time for these already.
next few days should be going out still, but evening time. not much time to spend $$. hahahaha. not that i alot money to spend.
buttttttt. -grins-


well, i've nicely kept away from alcohol since the start of the year. pretty proud of myself. i think i've passed that phase of alcohol misuse.

can i consider myself grown up now?
seeking deeper meanings in life.
seeking to self-improve and make myself better than before.
life's more than just drowning myself in sorrows or wallowing in pity because of certain emotional issues.
i've retained my independent streak.
i've gotten back that lonw wanderer spirit.
maybe because of this i'm turning off many others.

-shrugs-


i've gained, and i've lost.
to weigh which is better or worse, i cannot.

being alternative kinda scares people off?
or does it simply appear eclectic?
or weird?
i keep quite alot to myself now.
so much inner thoughts. breeding grounds for evil.

got ulcer on my lower lip.
stupid braces.


meeting haoz, gene and bish tml!
wheee.
long time no see.

i wish the pimples will go away.
=(((((

my sister bought me portugese eggtarts!
i think love does wonders.
HAHAHAHAHA.
i benefit. (:


by the way, i love egg tarts. that's why.


ok lah, go le. bored.


the reflection against the oceans.
the stillness of the moon.
the eerie beauty of the planet.
can you visualise?
us, holding tight.
dancing slowly.
to a melody.
a song playing in our minds.
we connect.

hmmmm.

i'm back again with another random realization.

i thinkkkkk.
just thinking.
i think my sis is in love.

not the previous one.
i think it's a new one.
and he seems to be keeping her really happy.
which is good.
because i've never seen my sister in scuh high spirits before.

free from PMS!
wheeeee!!!
all hail this new love king.

except cupid better start working on mine. BOO.