night owl jelly.

hello hellooooo! it's VE again today (thursday). woke up with a splitting headache. wasn't too much of a surprise considering i had such a bad day on wednesday.

almost died with flu. i seem to be getting sick more and more often. either that or it's a sign that i may just die soon. HAAH. my immunity system is dying. why am i not surprised? tsk.

i popped two pills. down-ed tons of vitamin C, and after that fatbear (force) fed me some bitter concoction that's supposedly some cold-tea-remedy that's ultra effective.

AND i went home still sneezing my poor nose off. i thought my lungs were bursting from the pressure. zzz.

so today, i thought the sneezes accumulated from yesterday kinda raptured my brain HAHA and hence the headache. yaya, so drama right. BUT PAIN OK.

i trudged to work. in the dreary, fucking bloody hot weather. god. i hate singapore sometimes. i was perspiring like a freak by the time i reached VE and got ready for opening.

YA LAH, headache but still got mood to take picture. cos' i promised more pictures for holidays righttt. HAHAHA.

GAHH. my hair is messy shits. cut or not??? =(((

i managed to survive the day. did finish the chores assigned by Hboss the day before. tried to clear new incoming work but the stupid system kept hanging after 10plus times and i gave up. faiz came soon. new guy. ok lah. not much interaction. but i was thankful for his arrival because my head was killing me.

and i was supposed to be starving--did not take any meals since i woke up. but i have no idea why i'm not very hungry. in fact, i only ate one cup of maggi at fatbear's (to be explained later).

soooo, it was about 7plus pm by the time i reached home finally. feeling awfully sick. but i know fatbear was feeling down and lousy too (for a certain reason i shall not mention here). so i decided to be nice and pop down to give him some surprise and a comfort visit.

I'M SO NICE RIGHT HAHAHAHA.

after i bathed. i called abbas to see if he could pick me up and drop me at fatbear's place. but it wasn't convenient, so i decided to take PUBLIC TRANSPORT (gahhhhh).

wanted to get subway from west coast plaza but the place was brimming like mad. subway's queue came all the way out to their shop's exterior!!! like wtf???? i gave up, and bought something else instead. =D

travelled like halfway across the island to ulupanjang. HAHAH.

and i received like some scary call from yan along the way. which wasn't very pleasant. but anyways, the most important thing is that everything is fine now. phew.

-drumroll-

say hi, to XIAO BIAN BIAN. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 小便便.

CUTE HOR??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. i love it ok. not because i love it then i buy for fatbear horrr. it's like a joke between the two of us. HEHEHE. erm. fatbear says xiaobianbian is a GIRL. ok lorrr.

aiya, actually it's because fatbear ALWAYS fart HAHAHAHAHAHA (timely and untimely ones TSKKK!!!!). so xiaobianbian shall be like his new friend sent by me to accompany him whenever he is sad or happy. HAHAHAHA.

fatbear had a welcome ceremony for xiaobianbian wtf. which i shall not mention here because it totally spoils image for him HAHAHAHAH (if he ever had).

xiaobianbian:"fatbear!!! LISTEN TO ME TALK!!! can you stop using your computer!!!"

he don't care mahhh. so i camwhore lor. AHAHHAHA. the shit from heaven.

fatbear refused to hang it on his hp (ya lahhh. i know it's damn GAY. but at least hang a while let me happy can???!!! -sulks-). in the end, he consented to hanging it for ONE day.

-sulks-

one day only. tskkk. unappreciative sia. xiaobianbian is so hurt.

anyway, fatbear was searching online and calling his friends to see if got lobang for camera deals! we're going shopping for it in a few hours! after my VE work and his work!!! wheewheebombeebee. my FIRST gadget lust may be materializing soon!!!!

wow. i finally know how it feels like to save up like shit and finally get something you want. it's like...hard work paying off. and it feels...good. like the trip. like the 3 years so far.

i think...i may just be a teeny weeny bit more mature. just a little lah ok.

and fatbear was drinking beer when i popped at his place. HE SAID HE NOT SURPRISED LOR kns. so bad right. HAIIII. don't know how come i so nice for what. =(((((

AND DRINK BEER SOMEMORE. so fat liao!!!! HAIIIII. stinky breath.

and i hadn't eaten for the entire day, plus rushed out to take bus to his place...so skipped dinner at home. end up, eat maggi mee at his house. wah lau, i don't know how come i so sad. but ok lah, not very hungry also. my stomach spoil already. HAIZ.

eat shit. HAHA.

and fatbear was talking to one of his best friends who is studying overseas. he made me webcam with his buddy. zzzzzzzz. BUT OK LAH, his friend nice. HAHAHAHA. his friend is returning back on christmas eve, i think. hmmmm, and i'm supposed to join them for gathering because in fatbear's words "everyone wants to meet and see you."

=.=

but i insist. i'm prettier than how i look on fatbear's lousy webcam ok. i don't careeee!!! (self-deceit)

ok bad picture of fatbear. he looks really fat here. true to his name. but ok lah, nice to hug. (((: BUT CANNOT FATTER OK.

work in like...10 hours time. god. this sucks. BUT I WILL SURVIVE.

recently, i know i am so exhausted. my brain. my mind. my body. but i just can't rest properly. i never rest...restfully. am i making sense? does anyone know what i'm talking about?

-shrugs-

i don't know. maybe it's just that i work freaking everyday.
and the only little spare time i have, i try to meet fatbear.
and when there's time to sleep, i simply can't fall asleep.




but it's alright i guess. away from exams and books for now. i'm going to live this life for one month. and enjoy it. before books, assignments, exams, projects, tests slap me in the face again.

update with more more moreee pictures soon.

ps: thanks for abbas for picking me up and sending me home. you're really a great buddy anyone can ever have!!! (((:

broke the curfew. thankfully cinderella was not reprimanded. phew.

AH!!! I KEEP FORGETTING!

CONGRATULATIONS TO MARSHY AND YUE SHAN (yet to meet her personally)!!! HAPPY TOGETHER FOREVERRRR. loveloveloveeee. =D

can't wait to set a date and meet all of them soon!!! -grins-

goodnight my darlings! hope you all are enjoying your holidays better than me!!!

peace. or not.

i'm fighting so hard, i don't know what is happiness anymore.

my eyes see, but they don't register.
my heart beats, but it doesn't feel.
my fear heightens, but it doesn't show.
my ears hear, but they don't go away.
my hands touch, but things don't feel real.


there is just that thin line between what's real, and what's not.
how would i know this life i'm living is real.


we all think it's real. but what if we wake up one day,
and everything was just a dream.

would you be thankful?
would you cry in anguish?



if this were unreal. and my real life beyond this bubble were all my wishes come true.


you'll know my answer.



lost; once more.


update with pictures of friday soon.
saturday is gonna be a long one.
i'm burning alive.
my body is collapsing.
my mind is disintegrating.



my mum is right. if i don't stop. if i don't take care of myself.
something will happen to me someday.
but i can't stop.



in life. the concept of trade-off is all too prevalent.

in betweens.

it's been quite some time since i last blogged seriously. like. talked about issues that really bothered me in my life.
maybe i just preferred to procrastinate my thoughts, push them aside, and pretend they don't exist. afterall, i have enough daily activities to keep me busy and my mind off these issues.

but they still pester me subconsciously. and i will write about them soon. i need a release.


now, the fatigue is talking. 3 hours of sleep in 2 days. is not good. please don't learn from me.


i shall catch all my much needed sleep. then continue my 2nd tuition of this week when i wake up in the afternoon.

P and her parents & maid wants 3 or MORE times PER week. i say FINE WITH IT, cos' it means more moolahs for me. which translates to being able to obtain my gadget lusts faster.
besides, i'm working VE 3 times a week too.

so so tired.
i won't be complaining about studies. but i'll start complaining about work.
since it's the holidays, i shall try to take more pictures and keep my blog alive and interesting.
if i get t77, my pictures will be of better quality! HA HA.
and $499 poorer.

i need to make a list of things to accomplish this month.
my longest school break.
my salvation.

THE SEMESTER IS OVERRR.

yays whoopie doos! the semester is overrrr. my last paper ended todayyy. and although it was crap, i don't really care. the fact is, i'm too tired to care. i need sleep. and i shall sleep as soon as i get to eat.

hello and byebye. they've been good reads, minus the fact that i had to do MORE than read. books worth keeping though.

before i start showing all the long overdue pictures, i found out that i really get all pissy and agitated if i don't get fed on time. meaning if i'm hungry and i have NOTHING to eat, i get very angry. ANGRY. with caps.

which is what i'm feeling now. there is nothing at home i want to eat. not maggi. not biscuits. not bread. not sweets. I WANT TO EAT REAL FOOD. and i'm angry because my parents just told me that they'll be back with dinner at 9:30pm only. WHICH MEANS I SHALL STARVE UNTIL I GET GASTRIC AGAIN. i'm so annoyed. i should have eaten more for lunch.

i got a serious bout of gastric this morning. so bad i had to go lie down. i had another minor attack after exams. and i think i'm going to get another soon if i don't get food into my stomach. i am seriously very angry.

my digestive system is so fucked up now. i starve at the weirdest hours. i don't have the appetite at the right hours. and i really...feel fucked up. most of the times, i become so hungry i just can't be bothered to eat anymore. i let the acid burn through my stomach walls.

ok. enough. connect@six pictures taken after we were released from hell. i shall attempt to be happier as i blog although i am fuming. i don't even know who exactly i am angry with. hai.

i have no idea why sharul and ch took this picture. wtf. hello can't even see my boobs HAHAHA.



















all a series of multi shots taken by ch's camera. HAHA. lame shits. you can really see who are the camwhore ones in the pictures. =DDD



eh wtf i think we were all looking at a passing UFO outside HAHAHAHA. no lah. the curtains had some problems and somehow all of us turned to look as xc struggled with it. coincidence mans. but kinda cute.

and my legs look thin here. wow.

it's been wonderful working with them. the most unlikely team. we should be proud of ourselves. (: i am proud of them.

i had a slight fever yesterday after i got home from school after my com443 paper. no meals. fatbear surprised me with century egg porridge under my house. sweet. he made me eat panadol after that to make my fever subside. not sweet.



and i want to write nice things about him and gush about how sweet and romantic things are, but i don't feel in the mood right now. i'm peeved.

a random dinner after fatbear's work at WEST COAST PLAZA (the next hippest place in the west side!!!). dined at Thai Express. pretty good. i miss thai food suddenly. i can have tomyum soup for every meal again.

my hair is annoying me. so i decided to tie it all up (yet again like old times). looked shit. so few pictures taken.

and i was really tired (from studying i think), hence the really small eyes.

i have a question to ask:

SHOULD I CUT MY HAIR SHORTER??? (as compared to now) maybe like SHOULDER LENGTH again? i'm so irritated with the length right now. it's so straw-y and flat (i have thin hair =((( ) and boring. TSK.

curry soft shell crab with rice. not bad!

seafood glass noodles i think. not bad either!

heavenly tomyum.

another night fatbear dragged me out for steamboat with his friends. some place near the darts-place monz, ed, him and i went the last time. sunset there.

it was this steamboat buffet thing. economical. but i didn't have much of an appetite that day. what a waste. anyway, the quality of the food wasn't that awesome also. variety was there though.





you could steamboat and grill things on the side (provided a separate grill). the grill turned out to be more popular than the steamboat ultimately.

HAHAHA and fatbear's other friend appeared there too with his own friends. what a coincidence! he was the one who treated me to sakae sushi dinner that other day (some time back)! he's super lame!!! HAHAHA. but he's nice and he's fun to be with. i like!

okkk. random pictures from now on.

a view of how my living table looks like now. dominated by my messiness and lack of organization. i cannot believe that i am a girl sometimes.

some cheena-like video i saw at VE. HAHAHA. perfect for mz.

gummies from fatbear.


more gummies.
and the container that used to house evaaaa. nice. and again, i have no mood to gush about the sweetness and all now. i think maybe i am angry with fatbear. but don't really think it's his fault this time. im just so unreasonable when i'm HUNGRY. ROARRRRR!!!





some random stuff he drew for me too. HAHAHA.

erm. artistically challenged? i don't know.

ahhh. more pictures i dug up from my archives which i never managed to post because i got so bored. HAHAH.
from my secondary school days! oh god. seriously ruin my reputation (lack thereof).

can you see me??? i'm the one in the second row; second from the right. and i remember thinking that i looked rather decent in that picture when i was in secondary school!

nehneh is in the first row, 2nd from the left. HAHAHAHAH. eh plastic surgery lor!!!

see! last time i damn ah lian already. WEAR SKULL TEE SHIRT WTF. HAHAHAHAHA. national day rocks lah. and again, nehneh is first from the left.

secondary 2 picture! zomg! erm. the row of girls, first from the left. wow. and i also though this picture of me looked good back then! HAHAHAHAHA. ok lah, still not so bad.

this one is....really ugly. =( but nevermind. i'm assured i look better now. HAHAHAHA. that's most important right? =S

@$#@%^$^%^$# first from right. GAHHHHHHHHHH.

no comments.

okkk, so exams are over. time to continue being a workaholic (never really stopped anyway) and slog my guts out in tuition and VE. wheewheebombeebee. moolah rain please. so many things to buy!!!

since i will be working quite a lot this december, and VE's pay doesn't come in till the NEXT month (jan), i am assured of NOT eating grass when i get back from taiwan. that's rather reassuring and comforting to know. =))))

i know what jacket to wear for tw trip already. countdown timeeeeeee!!!

and my dad says hk is cold this year, meaning tw will be colder. he threw me a pair of leather gloves and ordered me to bring them there. and he said i had better bring along more jackets lest i freeze to death. erm, yaaaa. and he forbade me to bring my usual green luggage i use for travelling. kns. he said too small. =.=

it's time to bring out my boots and jackets and long socks!!! so much loveeee.

i saw snowman and santa in the airport last year. will i see them this year??
and i'm still contemplating if i should bring this jacket on top of the one i'm wearing. hmmm, it does take lovely pictures because of the color.

this year's christmas 2008 may be the first ever i celebrate with a special someone. EVER. which is a historical mark by itself.

and this tw trip may be the first ever "romantic" trip with a special someone too. EVER. another historical mark. do i call this an unofficial honeymoon? LOL.

i want more honeymoons then!! travelling rocks socks. wheee. (((:

xmas wish list up soon. and i'm contemplating to shelve my itouch plans till next year (unless i get even MORE cash SIGH). because i'm gonna get a new digital camera. prolly sony's cybershot t77. gonna cost me a bomb.

what to do. i'm not rich. fatbear also not rich. parents also not gonna strike it rich anytime soon. hai. why is my life like that.

i don't even see my birthday present anywhere near me. owed since june 7th till now. sad.

byebye.

i am still hungry.

hello, i'm still alive.

i feel sick. i need to exercise, sleep, dream, talk, live, eat normally.

i cannot wait for PR exams to be over. which kinda explains why i'm leaving my notes one side to blog wtf.


i did my com443 advertising exams halfway and tw suddenly popped into my head. wtfwtf. am i hopeless?

but more torture to come before tw officially materializes. the price you pay for hardcore independence, i say.




com443 was....alright. should i say that? assuming that those i THINK are correct EVENTUALLY turn out correct, i might have a chance to obtaint hat big fat A for this module.
ASSUMING. ah, the love of uncertainty.

i slept 45mins to 1 hour on my sofa and woke up, drifting in and out of consciousness, trying to study. seriously, my exams-period life is damn sad. talking about it makes life depressing.


BUT AFTER EXAMS WILL BE DIFFERENT. aiya, anything that is not related to studying is different. work work work work work. moolah fly into my pocket!!!


and because sunday was technically my only study day at home, no work no nothing, I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT PJC'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OH GOD.


i'm soooo sorry!!!! =((((((((((
and i had no reminders at all. shits. this shows how dead my brain is.
haiz.

PJC, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!! stop growing taller, be nicer to your gf, hope you two happy together forever, continue to study hard in school and erms, may we meet up soon. HAHAHAHA. i don't know if you're reading this, but if you are, tag back!
hope you forgive meeeee!!! =D


so i just checked my mail. saw zw's birthday invitation AND I SHALL NOT FORGET ABOUT IT. it's on sunday!!! meaning there is no workkkk. and no work = CAN GO HER PARTY. MUAAHAHHAHA.

ok shall rvsp her soon.

i wonder who's going. hmmm.


ahhh decembers!!! next would be monz's birthday AND OMG christmas (can i combine gift for you monz? HAHAHAHA save money) and then is taiwan. can't wait. if only i can get myself some stuff on my xmas wishlist.


WILL BE POSTING XMAS WISH LIST UP VERY SOON(when i have the time) so please free some cash to buy gifts and donate to the very poor, broke but hardworking jielin HAHAHA.



sigh. i really feel sick now.
ok back to attempting to study. LL, continue to bless me with good luck!!!! ((((:


itlookslikeanotherlongnight.