remember.

hahha...i actually suddenly remembered my sign in name and my password for this blog. just came to drop a simple entry before i really totally forgot both my username and password again. :P

well, it's been quite long i guess. block tests are over and everything. results are almost completed. *sigh* i think i did really badly, but wad can i say? i deserved it. and when i mean badly, its really really bad. i won't bother to make myself sound nice here, so yea, bascially i flunked all. Fs for both maths n physics already. think geog another F. econs n GP also like not much hope already. not tt i don't wish for any hope, but just tt this hope seems a bit too weak and insignificant.

but i guess im geting over all these shitty stuff anyways. heh. block test 2 is something i must strive towards now. block test 1 i may do badly cos of trainings and no studying, but i won't have any excuse to fail my block test 2. i don't wanna be the last in class again. im sick of being tt since the start of this yr. other sportsmen can do so well academically yet i can't. this goes to show something, doesn't it? i can do it if i try hard enough. now, just pray that i'll have the faith and courage to fight on, picking up myself from all these rubble at my feet and striding on. i must conquer my As! hahaha~ now, it may sound absurd now, but the ideal results would be AAAB. not that i can get such incredulous results la, but i guess i had better aim high. im prone to falling down damn low.

hopefully i'll keep this fighting spirit in me eh? don't want to get looked down at anymore. not anymore, i repeat. gotta prove some irritating idiots wrong.

hmM~ hockey training has been really intensive lately. season is coming up, in a few weeks time or less. *sigh* im really really really nervous. think i've really never played in any sport at a national level before..though last time SJAB got alot comps. that i joined with much confidence though with equally much nervousness too. heh. but not something like this. it's a huge team. a huge expectation of ourselves. huge pressures. we really want to win this. not only for ourselves, but to prove the others wrong as well. we worked so hard. still working hard. we fought with determination, and so much team spirit has arisen in this short period of time, its really something i treasure and will rmb always. UP AND ON SAINTS HOCKEY. we can do it!!! :)

erm. ok yea. some whiney stuff now. haahaha..i positively feel like im growing fatter! gotta keep a constant mindset to refuse food and not binge!!! :D well well, wed thurs fri sat got trainin again..go go go jielin! hahaha..

hmM~ sheesh. i really think im a fickle minded girl. i wonder who do i really like, and when will i really settle down? maybe i AM still too immature to think on my two feet. to make choices. or maybe i just cant be bothered. im happy with the freedom i have now. although i may crave company and someone sturdy to rely on once in a while, im pretty happy and contented the way i am now already. i think i cherish frenship and independence alot. =X but still, i can't help but notice him! :p lol. like yun ma loves to say, i like guys who are tall dark and FAT. which i totally object strongly and violently! hahaha..i don't like FAT guys ok. it's WRONG. :P anyway, i may have liked plump guys b4 i admit. hahahha..

the point is. this guy is tall, dark and kinda..well..cute? it sounds really funny and rather idiotic of me..([erhaps even bimbotic). but i seriously haven't spoken a word to him before. not tt kinda conversation i guess. lol. its really mad, cos i kinda don't believe in this chinese phrase "ri jiu shen qing"..heh..but i kinda find him cute now, which i din realise int he past yr. :D he's just really silent and hmm...mysterious? haven't smiled to me either. lol. (hey, i don't go up to his face and grin like a mad woman either) but well, somehow wish i cld at least be frens with him first..afterall im seeing him like 4 times in a 5 day week! :X we'll see how things go then.

hahaha. but seriously, i have too many eye candies for my own good! guess i just have a wide range of taste. :P *grins*