nothing much.

For all the years that I’ve known you baby
I can’t figure out the reason why lately
you’ve been acting so cold (didn’t you say)
if there’s a problem we should work it out
so why you giving me the cold shoulder now
like you don’t want to talk to me girl (tell me)
okay I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
but why you making this thing drag on so long (I wanna know)
I’m sick and tired of this silly game
don’t think that I’m the only one here to blame
it’s not me who’s been going round slamming doors

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

I know that I’ve made a few mistakes
but never thought things would turn out this way
doesn’t make sense to me now that you’re gone (I see it all so clearly)
me at the door with you in a state
giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Craig David, Don't Love you no more(i'm sorry)
---------
i just realised. this has got to be one of the nicer english songs i've heard recently.

this teeny tinge of regret hit me everytime i see you online.
would things have been different if i had chosen that path you presented to me? would things have been better? would i have been happier?

but it's all too late to regret. the day i realised that you are with another girl, my world crashed. not so much because i was jealous or whatever, but because we had lost contact for so long..and you never bothered to msg me..you never bothered to care what was happening in my life. and i learnt about this only through a mutual friend.

i recall sending a few msges to you, asking about you and your life. you never replied. never. i thought our friendship meant something. you were one of my closer guy friends back then. i told you why i had to refuse your proposal. was i stupid? i don't know.

i cannot regret right now. perhaps i regret just..simply that we are no longer friends..that we no longer care about each other at all.

from close friends, to barely even strangers.

i just don't understand why some platonic friendships never work out.

maybe it's meant to be so. well, since you hardly even bother, i guess i might as well let things go.

you don't know how much you mean to me.
--------------
i am craving bbq marshmellows dipped drenched in chocolate sauce.
DAMMIT.

read if you like.

i am stupid?
i don't know. anyway, it's such a wrong choice to come home from school. cos' there is this stupid construction/renovation work in the apartment next to mine. and it's so freaking loud and noisy i cant even hear myself talk. dammit.

stupid. i hate renovation. WHY ARE THEY CONSTANTLY RENOVATING??!?!?!!!!

fuck. i cannot stand such noice. just as much i cannot stand techno music. what? is techno cool? look at my lips: I DON'T CARE.

it's just dumb people following dumb trends. show me real people who really know how to appreciate techno. then perhaps i'll change my mindset.










i was just browsing blogs as usual. and i realised why are some people so retarded?? i mean, there are blogs we HATE and bloggers we DESPISE, and yet we continue to visit their blogs and read what they write daily? it all just doesn't make sense does it? i don't think it does. why would you want to read something by someone you hate positively, thinking that it is nothing but utter rubbish.

i think i know why. so that we can whine and complain about it to our friends about how lousy that blog/blogger is.

"wah lau! did you read XXX's blog?? SO STUPID RIGHT?"
"yar! why is she so bimbotic? so brainless one!"
yada yada yada.

tsktsk. senseless bitching.

this is what i call the nemesis blogs.

i'm sure everyone has their own nemesis blog(s). blogs we hate to the core and cannot stand reading, but yet visit religiously just to check out what that brainless idiot has written, and then complain and whine about how incompetent that person is.

of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. it's human psychology. really.

what i think is hilariously ironic, is perhaps, WE ourselves are the nemesis blog of OTHERS. people hate our blogs and yet they continue reading it. this contributes to the high readership i guess. not because people love you to read what you wrote, but more likely because they hate you, and just want to read about your you-think-its-so-good ranting online.

hmmm. that being said. i must add in that there are of course people who are blatantly neutral. reading for the sake of reading. reading to kill boredom. to understand more about someone's life. reading..simply to well..TRY to pry our way into their thinking..i don't know.

there are probably many kinds of people out there reading blogs. it's the "in" thing now isn't it?

i've blogged for like what? 4 years or so..and this shit just became hot this year or perhaps the year before. the controversy. the perceptions. there can never be one stand. just ONE. it's us humans. finding nothing better to do lah.

i can't be bothered. i blog for myself. i blog to remember things i don't wanna forget in the future. i blog, simply because i feel i need to vent. i blog because i love to read and write.
i am not perfect. i will never be. but at least i try my best to improve. better than people who think they are the best. i think that is ridiculous.


another ridiculous thing. i was looking through my stats for my blog, and i realised how STUPID some of the top keyword searches for my blog was:

mr mannan
freaking vampire
pretty vampire pictures

WHAT THE HELL????
i'm sorry. mr mannan is not in my list of entries so far YET.
and yes, i AM a freaking vampire. hello!
no, there are no pretty vampire pictures here.




ok, i cannot stand the noise already.

//edit.

i'm really pissed and hurt now.
i don't know what i fucking did to deserve this. and maybe now i don't fucking care anymore.
so what? i mean you are not a good friend of mine in the first place. what was our little "friendship" based on? i don't know. you and your superficial-ness? you and your i-am-so-sweet-and-good-to-everyone attitude? perhaps so. perhaps this is why i trusted you.
TRUSTED.
you know what? trust is earned. and you fucking did not because i used to tink that friends need not EARN trust. i trusted my gut feeling. and this time, i am so wrong. so wrong. i regret my decision. that decision i made to befriend and accept the frienship of this two-faced monster.
i am being harsh. i don't care. i am just hurt.
maybe you don't trust me either.
all i can say is that i used to trust you totally. i used to tell you all my troubles. i hid behind NOTHING. i wore NO mask. i was sincere in my words and actions. and you fucking broke it all.
i hate you. for now? for ever? i don't know.
i'm just so fucking hurt and pissed.
pissed that i didn't see that monster through you.
pissed that once again, i am victim to another of my trust-people-too-easily personality.
i think i hate myself too.
and you made me hate myself.
i wish i never knew you.

today.

-woke up ALMOST late.
-managed to bathe super fast.
-couldn't find my house keys.
-reached ABIT late at clementi.
-took the bus to ngee ann poly with the bimbo and marshy.
-had many good laughs on the way because someone was hiccuping REALLY badly.
-tsktsk.
-hold breath also no use.
-alot methods also no use.
-he ended up hiccuiping the entire ride.
-reached the canteen then stop hiccuping.
-he ate, we watched.
-talked.
-went to the library.
-instead of studying, we TALKED, LAUGHED, SLACKED, SPASM-ED.
-slacked our way to lunch again.
-saw a miniature frog on our way there.
-bs asked zh to pick it up. but she walked fastest away from him after he picked it up.
-zh almost slipped on his way to the canteen.
-ate. yumyum :)
-lousy djs.
-songs played were all cut halfway. lousy.
-saw a cyndi wang wannabe.
-learnt some steps from her music video.
-laughed our way back to the library.
-went back to study.
-oh well, not REALLY study.
-talked more.
-laughed more.
-me and bs tried to scare zh.
-but it was a failed attempt.
-he saw our HEADS while we were crawling outside.
-he saw BS's eyes when she tried to peep at him.
-and he saw our reflected image in the other room where we were banging on the walls of that room next to it to scare him.
-he wasn't scared.
-:(
-he kept laughing though.
-tsktsk.
-we thought you didn't hear or what lah! until we saw your shoulders shaking with laughter=D.
-admit it! we AMUSED you. at least we did something constructive.
-then it was the case of the POUTING LIPS on lim zihao.
-that want-to-lwarn-drum-but-no-money boy don't know why drum that time will POUT his lips.
-super unglam.
-super hilarious.
-but there was more to come.
-zihao and his STORING WATER LIPS.
-WTH??!?!?!!!!
-dude, you should look in the mirror when you do stupid things ok! *GRINS*
-oh, there was the incident of the curious man.
-he walked past our room several times looking hard at us everytime.
-the first time zh was spasming while drumming with his POUTING lips.
-the second time zh and his smelly foot was on the table.
-and there were many more.
-bs was so worried he is some psychology lecturer that wanted to investigate human-animals in a cage(the room), and bring more students to observe us.
-but he didn't lah.
-bs was also very scared that the librarians would chase us out of the room.
-jumped everytime someone walked by.
-oh yes! the "ghost" story telling.
-which wasn't VERY scary lah. but quite erm..scary. irony.
-left early.
-the outing to bugis/clementi central/move was not meant to be.
-all of us returned home.
-i got home.
-bathed.
-slept.
-here i am.
-off i go to eat dinner.
-bye!

//what a SUPER unconstructive and UNPRODUCTIVE DAY=(

just some blabber.

i dislike people who punctuate the end of their sentences with "lor". much less 99% of your sentences end with a resounding lor. it positively turns me off. maybe that's why everytime you speak, i get super turned off. can't be helped. sorry.

i admire people who can laugh at themselves. and i enjoy their company. because somehow life doesn't seem so severe when around them. maybe that's why i love my sister. we laugh at everything. same frequency, same wavelength lah.

i'm revising physics so slowly i think it's terrible. DIE LAH. i really die already. stressed stressed. better start speding up soon. and i better start other subjects!!!

tml going to ngee ann poly to study with bimbo and marshy! woah! pardon me for my ulu-ness but i'm excited!!! hahahaha. never been there. gonna check out the library man!

and i just realised even MI has TWO-STOREY LIBRARY. oh man, and SA jas only ONE STOREY. wth.



so sian man.

sometimes i think i hate you. and perhaps that feeling is mutual. but of cos', hating you is too tiring. so i prefer to think you do not exist. and it works most of the time.

pink skies.

the sky is pink today at 6:45pm.
i still feel confused.
i am freaking stressed up and upset.
i try not to show it all.
i try to be composed and cheeful.
i can't stop thinking about the wrong things cos' it's just the wrong time now.
i freaking hate my puny brain,
i know i cannot give up.

i'm tired.
yet i sleep 3/4 of my day away.

just kill me.



incoherence is good.

YES!!!

skirt-->check!
bag-->check!
new belt(AGAIN)-->check!
earrings-->check!


YESSSSSS!!! IM ONE HAPPY GIRL I TELL YOU. buy until orgasm. i don't care how crude that sounds, but im HAPPY!

ok, back to earth..need to study already =(

but im still HAPPY!!!

shalalalalaaaaaaa!!!~


GRINS.



BUT, i must work hard to jian fei during this period.
and pray hard that what the shopkeeper say is true: the skirt will expand a bit after washing.


and pray that i will settle down and CONCENTRATE on my studies. dammit.


anyway, i saw some ELEPHANT at bugis today while debating over whether to buy my bag or not. why elephant?

COS' HE THUMPED HIS WAY TOWARDS ME.

i SWEAR i heard like THUMPING footsteps that ALMOST rocked bugis street before looking up and seeing a er...ugly(?) elephant.

ok lahhh. i forgive that elepahant. BAG TOO HEAVY LAH HOR.
HAHAHAHA. serves you right. should have cleared your elephant sty long ago! last time i saw got elephant-y BRIEFS/SHORTS/UNDERWEAR i don't know what inside. GROSS LAH U.

BAHHHH!

so anyway. i saw that elephant. HEE.


elephant in bugis street. :)





I HAVE A SUPER DUPER ULTRA NICE BAG!!!!!

I HAVE A SUPER DUPER SHORT AND TIGHT SKIRT THAT I AM DETERMINED TO FIT IN AT LEAST AFTER ALEVELS!

I HAVE ORANGE EARRINGS THAT ARE SUPER RETRO!!

I HAVE A BELT THAT IS SO FREAKING NICEEEE.

so much more to buy...=(

i NEED a rich boyfriend. HAHAHAHA!!!







sighhhh.

//edit.

I LOVE MY SISTER(yes, real one) TO BITS AND PIECES AND FRAGMENTS!!!

she is like the BEST!!!! OMG I LOVE HERRRR. it helps that she has good taste in stuff and knows what i like! :)

the BEST shopping kahki ever. she like knows all the CHEAP and TERRIFIC buys! oh man!!! =)))))

alot inside jokes also. but OEI! don't kick me under the table while eating!! *grins* i almost choked on my food ok! and sniggering discreetly does not help!! :PPPP

love you lah. and i know you love me too! :)

MUACKSSSSSS~!!!!

farewell pictures.

// At the farewell assembly.


//In our homeroom and cafe.



//Cafe picture taking.



//more class pictures.



//J.E.Z in order. :)




//ocip buddies!



//sistas!




//hockey!! MUACKS!!



//my hockey lovelies.



//and some more.



//class outing! (on the train..)



//class time. (note zw's prom dress!! and our little star!)



//re-living(literally??) childhood memories.


there are so freaking many pictures and it's almost impossible to comment on all of them..i guess people who know me well enough will know what i wanna tell everyone from deep inside my heart. *sighs* yea..i really feel terrible and lost..i don't know what i would do without my friends..i won't know where and what we will end up as. i don't know whether all of us will meet up again in gatherings and outings and have as much fun as we are having now.

so many people whom i did not manage to find and take pictures with. so many...i feel regretful..but i'm sure there will come another chance! :)

and yes, speaking of regret, i AM regretful that i did not muster enough courage to take pictures with my eye candies. this is terrible. and everyone is boasting of how happy and lucky they are able to take pictures with their eye candies. OMG. this is too much lah!!

*pouts*







i'm in love with every single one of them. every single one.

so deeply in love. i love u guys! missing you guys already! hahaha!!

this is my pics which i have uploaded in shutterfly! it's extremely efficient, even on my laopokpok lappy!! RECCOMENDED GUYS!! :P

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AatWjNs4cuXGQ

anyway, i'm lazy to put down the other links from friends all over..=p so well, go find out yourself..tataaa!