nolstagic.

ok fine, i admit that i do miss SA to a certain extent, as much as i would love to deny that. *shrugs*

but it seems like i've only started to treasure the people and stuff around me only these last few days of school. huifang is right i guess. guess what? i went to school everyday ok! although i spent 3/4 of my day in the reading room rotting instead of going to lectures lah. hahahaha!

well, reading room suddenly became a really nice place to hang out in. *shrugs* it's wierd really, i feel at home in the reading room..hahaha! like those classrooms we used to have during secondary school days..our homeroom like that. only that my homeroom in SAJC is virtually useless lah, i don't even know what is my homeroom. mans.

i looked at the gallery today, and i realised how much i miss that place. TRAININGS!!! BSA!!! *grimace* hahahha, it sure was tiring and tough, but it was hell of a fun! :) i miss hockey girls man. i miss everyone like hell.

i wonder if we are ever going to meet up after our Alevels..what will happen after this? will we still keep in contact? or will these people just remain part of our memories? nothing more?

i'm terrified of the prospect of losing everything i have(which is not alot), missing all my friends in my life..i would be at a lost. i really would be. tomorrow is probably my last day as an official student wearing a school uniform, singing national anthem on the track every morning, being in a class..having teachers and not only lecturers..it's...well..scary? i don't know..

i certainly wouldn't want to re-do my As just to go through all these again, as much as i would miss it. but hell, i would definitely miss school life.

everything would be much simpler than it would be in the future.




there's so much i want to say. but i'm at a loss of words for now. too much thoughts going through my mind...

and i wonder, would people miss me as much as i would miss them?
some people are just not worth it man.


and i would definitely miss seeing you. haha! well well, my infatuation apparently has not worn off. but..*sigh* nevermind lah, never see you means won't think so much already! :)

gotta grow up. 18 years and counting.

it's funny really, how people desire to be young again when they are old, and how the young children wish they would grow up quickly.

i'm stuck in between. desiring nothing, yet wanting both. irony.






and i think mrs dumpling loves me.(according to yunny!) damn, freaky ok! hahahaha..hush yunny! don't tell the entire world! and i am NOT going to take a picture with her!!! GRRRRR.

omg.

/at the traffic light junction in Bugis. waiting for the pedestrian sign to turn green.


syaf: "you know, off-shoulder tops make you look slimmer, maybe can try for prom dress."
me:"yah..especially when you show off your collar bones, very nice.."
ziwan:"huh...*feels for her collarbone* but i think i don't have..*thinks while feeling for it*..i think i don't have cleavage leh...OH MAN! I MEAN COLLAR BONE!!!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! oops. ok sorry ziwan. but i really laughed until i teared. you are hilarious man. cleavage not at collarbone there lah. *grins*

don't know why today ziwan's tongue like gone crazy, can't say what she wants properly.


anyway, today was so fucking fun and awesome i thought Alevels were over. dammit. i should rid of this "relax" mode. so freaking disturbing. i should lock myself in a room with nothign but study materials. for once, i am actually yearning to be a CHAO MUGGER. well, a smart chao mugger at that.

*heaves a huge sigh*


anyway, things got better with roy lending me his MAYDAY CD!!! omg.

*ORGASM ORGASM*

and i heard junyang's guardian angel on the radio!!

*TRIPLE ORGASM*

ok lah, i'm joking. i did not have an REAL orgasm you idiots. but it was pretty much orgasmic listening to them! :)

so fucking screwed.

and oh, thanks bimbo for the postcard. was super touched lah!!! did not expect it at all. and thanks to all who gave me advices on skirts. and CHEE CHENG for teaching me how to exercise properly! *grins*




gonna lose those inches! kanasai, so don't tempt me with all that sinful food.

i'm serious about this harrrrr.

go study already. =(

skirts.

you know i get quite irritated when people get so shocked when i tell them i do not owe a decent skirt.

fine, so what if i'm not a "true woman"?

i shall evaluate my reasons of not being able to find a perfect skirt till now, for me at least. do not read if you are not interested.

i'm just fairly pissed right now.




number one reason for me not being able to find a decent skirt has got to be the fact that i am fucking FAT. so there, i've said it. I AM FAT CAN??!!
arghhhs!! ya lah, those skirts i fell in love with all i cannot fit into with my large butt and hips lah. happy not?

it's frustrating not be able to wear the skirts i like ok? you think i like to remain skirt-less issit?

it's so fucking hard not to be able to find a skirt i like and fits me well. by the way, i realised i have not been cursing for some time, and i apologise for the on-coming flow of expletives.


i have a huge butt that makes skirts tighter.

i think my legs are too freaking long and fleshy, which gives the appearance of skirts becoming TOO SHORT when they are not when worn by more petite individuals. for once, i am actually quite jealous of petite and small-sized people.

i was out with bs today at far east trying on a couple of skirts and NONE OF THEM FIT nicely without me looking like i was wearing nothing but undies until i got so pissed off i stopped trying.

curse my long and fat body.

i think this world really works against fat people. you can hardly find any decent-looking clothes for plus size people. not alot sympathy for big-szed peopel i can see. no wonder so many of fat people like me have to resort to wearing potato sacks to mask our fats.

well, i do admit dressing is indeed very important to making one's fats seem less offensive. *sigh* and the appropriate dressing is important, which probably makes my point in the above paragraph invalid, but to hell with it. i think shops catering to fat people(like me) are still lacking.

ARGHS! i am pissed with my body indeed. i have ballooned since secondary school and i am super disgusted with myself. bishi says do 300 situps everyday.

WTF!!! do 300 everyday i think my spine/wasit/stomach/abbs or whatever will just break and crack and die or something. sigh. they say hard work is everything to achieving a good body right? the pains women go through just for beauty. sigh.

yea. summary? i have too-long and fleshy legs, huge hips, humongous butt and well, everything bad to fit into skirts that i love.

dammit. i hate being fat. i am so going for lipo or taking slimming pills once i earn enough money to buy one set of Xandol or whatever shit they offer to make myself become slim enough to fit into skirts.

so fucking depressing ok.



stop asking me why i don't have skirts and why don't i wear skirts. you know my dirty little secret now.

i'm tired. and i'm tired of people asking me why i don't let my hair grow and become long like my sister.
i hate people to compare, and i know i cannot stop them from doing so. but hell, i'm jsut tired of being compared to someone who is way prettier than me, has a body that i can never achieve, and seems perfect in almost every sense. someone i will never ever be.

i don't wanna be a replica of my sister either. we are different from head to toe, inside and outside. and we love each other. so stop comparing and i might just stop hating myself.

fuck this world and their prejudice against fat people.

no wonder i get so pissed off when i hear people snigger at fat people. because i do fit into that description in a wee bit more time. i am ballooning like no one's shit.

there is nothing wrong being fat ok. the next time i hear someone laughing in contempt at a plus size person, i shall whack that person upside down with my 3310 handphone, which by the way is so freaking heavy it can double up as an anti-pervert weapon.

shock.

ok, perhaps not so much, but rather disbelief and well..a slight bit of..hmmm, how shall i put it..self-satisfaction?

correct me if i'm wrong, but we DO learn about specific heat capacity in secondary school physics right? well, at least my school does teaches that. i don't believe a smart-ass like him actually doesn't know that teeny weeny bit of science knowledge, assuming he IS considered one of the "smartest" kids in school. so yup.


/at geog lecture.
"so does water have higher or lower specific heat capacity?"


that one-liner really caught me off-guard. coming from HIM. yea, totally don't think he is that smart afterall. i may be wrong, and i am sure i AM wrong, but heck, for once he actually made me feel smarter than him. HAH. living in self-deceit eh?







not very productive of late. discouraging indeed. and freaking worried.









HOW TO GET MY ABB!!!!!! (oops, no pun intended) but seriously, i'm screwed unless i do something quick, and when i mean quick, i mean NOW.






on a side note, i went for a swim with monz. not that we were swimming that much cos' that idiot CANNOT SWIM!!! omg. and she still has the cheek to tell me that.

"aiya, i FORGOT how to swim lor."




*chokes on own vomit* i don't think she EVER knew how to swim! hahahaha! *grins* i shall stop talking bad behind her already la, she doesn't know of this blog at all! TEEHEEHEE.


ahhh, syaffy giggles. man, i HATE people who giggle. thank god my love for her surpasses everything that should matter. so what, i'm bias can? you not my friend and you giggle, then you die.




super random. but can't be bothered to think straight. my mind is so full of stuff i cannot place by priority. gotta set my targets and dreams right once and for all.

anyway the "swim" with monz proved to have a sorta calming effect on me. we were like spilling our guts out about our troubles and worries and stuff. and well, a bit gossip here and there.

shocking, but i have NEVER swam with her before. considering a freaking 6 years and going strong friendship with her. NEVER. bathe or sleep, camp, slug it out, endure all the shitty times we've all done it together. (got people used to think we LIS-bian can! omg lah.) well, today marks the first day. hahaha. it's terrible to think that there are more days to come, for her company, despite being infectiously heart-warming, can be quite traumatic for the weak hearted. those details, i shall not divulge. hush. :)




dammit. and i so cannot get you out of my mind. thank god i have two days of not seeing you--anywhere.

besides, it's a pretty much stupid case lah. gotta get over this stupid school girl infatuation thing. wasting my time. HAHAHA.


i think my hair is becoming nicer!! *grins* im so happy can!!! hahahaha. well, it's like depending on my mood lah, so we'll see how. lalalaaaa~

by the way, i think PJC LOVES ME!! whoOo!! *super big grin* i don't know if he'll be reading this or not, but i just wanna irritate him. AT LEAST i never put our conversation here ok! i'm so nice! *INNOCENT halo atop my head*

speaking of innocence, syaffy and i are talking online right now. and she told me this(amidst a heated conversation about me being lesbian over America's next top models and the oh-gawd-so-gorgeous-models inside)

-Syaf- the sweetest thing. says:
dun deny...how do u explain all those footsies u always give me?


DIE. DIE i tell you. my reputation is gone!! SYAFFY I NEVER GIVE YOU FOOTSIES!!!! omg. my legs too long lah, REALLY! *sad look*



really, my legs are so freaking long and in the way everytime i do simple things like sitting on the bus seats. god dammit, i hate it when my knee keeps knocking into the seat in front and i have to like sit in such a way my legs are slanted towards the aisle and not "zou guang" while doing so. very irritating i tell you. especially when my legs are fleshy and pudgy. *grimaces*

don't know why i'm so freaking tired now.
shall not post pictures afterall. *YAWN*

no title.

sometimes very random thoughts hit me like tornado. and this random thought happened like last last night, but i was lazy to blog it down.

you see, people used to tell me that when someone burps or farts, they are emitting methane, which is a gas which causes global warming/greenhouse effect. yes, i'm a lousy geog student taking geog right now, so correct me if i'm wrong stating the above facts.

but anyway, the first thought that came onto my mind was LIM ZIHAO.

that idiot is extremely well-known for his come-at-the-wrong-time-and-super-disgusting burps. and he burps without covering his mouth politely with his palm!! (not that it matters, cos' the burps were so powerful they would have easily trans-passed his pudgy fingers) and i was thinking, the world is suffering from gloabl warming isn't it? we are experiencing melting glaciers and ice caps, flooding in coastal cities and rising temperatures accounting for all these shit.

zihao, is undoubtedly one of the main producers of these gases that causes global warming. no doubt at all. guarantee plus chop i tell you. his burp can like make you so disgusted at the beginning, then become immune in the end--UNLESS HE BURPS FACING YOU WHILE YOU ARE HAVING YOUR MEAL. super gross. but that's my marshy for you people! so beware of his powerful and yucky burps. can smell what he has eaten for the ENTIRE day kind. blech.




there is pretty not much to blog about lately. or maybe i just can't be bothered to type in proper english and all. plus, there is hardly anyone reading.

hmmmm. speaking of which, i was listening to perfect 10's morning show with Vernon A and Justin Ang(i don't know if i spelt their names correctly) and they were interviewing on radio the SPG. i found it pretty interesting--their conversation and all. heh, and it kinda "satisfies" me listening to the SPG in person. she talks with a sort of a slang though. or maybe an accent. can't tell. hmmmmm.

and she happened to say something which i guess is pretty much true to a certain extent.

"people create online diaries and journals and write in them, wishing that people will read them. most people write for people to read. we put in effort in our writings and hope that people will read them."


perhaps this is true to a certain extent. even if the blog was set up and limited to readers of your own group of friends, it somehow makes one feel satisfied that a certain number of people are actually reading what you wrote. so does this means we are narcisstic by nature, in our own little ways?

*shrugs*









school today was interesting, because of the much higher than usual attendance in class! =D
many blog worthy quotes. but all of which i forgot. i reall have lousy memory. should get recorder or tape to record all my conversations. then i'll never forget those moments that really cracked me up.




/talking about america's next top model in the cafe with a couple of our class peeps.

me:wah lau, that naima is damn chio la!"
syaf:yar!! but i think kahlen is prettier!"
zhaoyuan(out of nowhere):"no lehhh! i think that girl with the thing on her lips is prettiest!"

o.O?????

we were ALL wondering where got model with "that thing on her lips" one???! very very puzzling lah. then i looked at ziwan, and then i got it!!! OMG. i think i laughed until i almost puked out my potato wedges from my nostrils!!!!

by the way, it's an inside joke, so you don't understand nevermind. hahahah. tsktsk. don't kill me zw, but it was hilarious!! *grins*






ahhh, yun ma is becoming more and more bimbotic. hahaha, can't stand it already. :D

she so high lately, must be found her pilot boyfriend. and i didn't know she likes old men! *raises eyebrows at yun ma*






you know its terrible. i should be concentrating on studying right now, but i'm not. and it sucks to the core. i CARE about my grades, and i desperately need at least an ABB for my remaining three subs minus maths. and i don't know how to convert EEO to ABB. *sigh*
in so deep shit, it stinks, literally of cos'.



and i so don't need you to distract me. the sight of you makes my heart thump so much faster than it usually does. it skips a beat when i turn a corner and spot you walking in my direction.

it's stupid really, but i cannot help it.

i must stop this nonsense. but i just can't stop thinking about you. dammit.

more more pictures.

outdated pictures from a few entries back when my laptop was down and couldn't transfer pictures from camera to my com.
plus new picutres recently.


at the TAO'S restuarant--just some pictures.

from top left going clockwise:

signboard outside the restaurant;
family portrait;
the white disgusting thing dating couples should never eat to remain glam;
the tissue provided and sis's nail.





from top left going clockwise:

me and sis;
me and sis again;
and again;
finally.



shopping outing with roy, zh, and bishi.





from top left going clockwise:

ZIHAO DIGGING HIS NOSE;
3 of us without flash;
3 of us with flash;
narcissist in action.




from top left going clockwise:

background info--all these are taken by the trigger-happy ZIHAO and not me.

bishi;
roy me and bishi;
and yet again;
me and zh;
bishi being "shy";
me zh and roy;
me and roy;
me and my fats;
zh's infatuation with the Zara shopping bag.





from top left going clockwise:

everything taken by zihao.





from top left going clockwise:

zihao and himself yet again.





from top left going clockwise:

me and bishi on the train;
me and the sleeping roy.

from this influx of pictures, i was absolutely aghast at the vast amounts of self-portraits of the even-worse-than-me-photowhore--LIM ZIHAO. hahahaha! terrible.



some pictures taken by zw's camera.




from top left going cloackwise:

a very bushuang looking dingo, yun ma and me;
another one with the ever-bimbotic yun ma;
me and yun ma;
and another one;
me, winnie and syaffy.





from top left going clockwise:

me winnie and syaffy;
me winnie and syaffy;
white ass;
me and yun ma;
me and yun ma again;
zw, me, yun ma.

---------------
that should be all for now! :) hahaha. alot pictures so i decided to be lazy and compile all of them together. sigh. having flu. so dead. haven't started studying yet. SHITTO!

someone yell at me everytime i online leh. then like that maybe i can don't online.

sighhhh..

anyway, boss was pretty nice and bought the hockey girls(only) some erm..pouches? hahahaha. really nice la. =D

lazy to blog, so off i go! tataaaa!

cretins.

some classic moments today.


/at grandma's house.

"ehhh! now got powerpuff girls movie! quick tune in to watch!!"-me
"what?? what puffy girls???"-mum

-_-'''


/sms.

by the way, for background information, THREE people wished me HAPPY CHILDRENS' DAY TODAY!!!

-early morning-
terrell wished me happy childrens' day, abeit a irritating fashion. ROARRRR! only he can come up with such dumb things to do.

-late at night-
BROTHER dave wished me "happy childrens' day kiddo!"

he said KIDDO! oh god. i wanted to die. i'm a young adult you ass! hahaha! but anyways, we are even, cos' i called him a little boy. BAH!

-online-
best friend jc wished me happy childrens' day.


=( i think some people still think i am a kid. hahahaha! but seriously, it feels good to feel young! POWERPUFF GIRLS ROCKS!!!

they should come help save the world.



sigh. imagine, on childrens' day, Bali was bombed BY THE FUCKING TERRORISTS. tell me, what the hell is their problem. either they have too much time on their hands, or they hate childrens' day.

sigh. i seriously cannot tolerate their actions, yet i cannot do anything to stop all this shit. it's really infuriating.

i shall stop harping about how unfair this world is, cos' i know alot people who do not like to hear me talk about all the cheem stuff which i think how everything should be but isn't. i'm no president or whatsoever, and i am powerless.

on an irrelevant note, i do wish powerpuff girls exist. like that they can stop allt eh bombs from exploding. eliminate this world of terrorists and anything bad and harmful. it's childish really, to think so, but i think sometimes, a little simplicity in thought, and a little imagination can make this world more beautiful. and hopeful.

cos' it doesn't seem that hopeful now. *shrugs*

when i grow up, i wish i can help make this world a better place.

its all dreams la.

hahaha, by the way, i'm having such a good time talking to turkey online. SUPER FUNNY CAN! omg. :D

by the way haoz, you look very....erm....photogenic! really! :D *patspats* it's not that bad, and i don't think alot people read my blog la, you're over-reacting! =)