blah bleh.

i'm a terrible and rather unprepared teacher. sure i get the worksheets printed in time and stuff, but it bugs me alot that i do not have the brains to even prepare before hand the vocabulary words that the kids will most probably ask me. english comes to me almost naturally, from reading the countless story books and listening to my english teacher blabber on and on. and of course, the love for the language. BUT, it seriously NEVER occurred to me how much difficulty i'll have TEACHING it. dammit. even maths is like easier.

arghhhhh!

forget it. so now i've decided to give them work to do, then i go home and mark, then i compile a list of words and the meanings and the usage of these words/phrases/expressions to print and give the kids. YES. i shall just do this. cos' the dictionaries in that place is SUPER DUPER ULTRA CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE lousy. freaking thin lah. it's a wonder can find any words with reasonable good meanings. i shall rely on my freaking thick LONGMAN at home plus dictionary.com. hehe.


so here i am compiling this terrible list. cannot imagine me doing this after every lesson, for both p5 and 6 kids. yea, the price you have to pay to appear pro enough so the kids and the irritating parents won't interrogate you or talk behind your back/infront of you about how lousy you are.

must be good teacher. yes. even though i hate to teach. but i must. MUST.

anyway, i don't know why the kids there love hangman so much. i seriously DO NOT LIKE that game, but to humour them must bluff bluff act like i like lor. =( and i'm running out of words to give them. really bad.

sweets and bribery is limited too. which reminds me i owe the p6 class ferrero and mint choco sweets. stupid idea of mine to have a competition. *sigh* but what else can i do to make them PAY ATTENTION to me???

p5 kids are loud and active bunch, even sweets cannot keep them still. seems to make them hyperactive. and both guys and girls are erm...VERY biologically educated that they quite shocked me. shall not go into details there. hahahah.

kids. i just wish they love me lah.

it's either work or play to them. i had to play catching, hide and seek, hangman and talk non-stop to them to get their attention. i kinda pity my primary school teacher now. 7 kids so far in my class, and i cannot take it already. i'm in awe of all teachers now.

locking up alone was scary. i hate it. and SHE did not even offer to stay back to accompany me despite her not having any lessons. sigh. i guess i cannot ask for much too. who would do so? i would. but she had other things on her mind i think. so i had to lock up myself. terrible feeling. i hate being alone. in the dark. in the freaking bomb shelter.

BISHI I MISS YOU!!! (even if my hand twitches involuntarily) *GRINS*
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helping out at mama's was ok. met some crazy females though. i'm seriously upset by the behvaiour of females at times. i mean i AM a female too, but i do treat shopkeepers and their goods with respect. what more can i ask from shenton way working class people but just a teeny weeny respect and understanding? seriously, some are just plain retarded. their actions and conversations are beyond research and redemption in a way or another. i'm not trying to say i'm way better than them. sigh. i shall reserve the evidence for another entry. feeling fed-up just thinking about some of those retards. not what i would expect from these supposedly "high-class" people.

and i have to smile and ignore their apparent retardedness and act like i really am interested and keen to help. i really am at times. 1% of the time i'm simply turned off and insincere.

to end it all, i have a conclusion. the s'pore gahment cannot keep saying our service standards are low, but PLEASE LOOK INTO CUSTOMERS ATTITUDES TOO! for god's sake, it's a two way traffic. gotta be mutual. not either one or the other. if both parties can ATTEMPT to be cordial to BEGIN with, i think the service sector will indefinitely develop standards wise.

respect others and you will earn the respect you deserve. it's a simple principle, even children can understand. so why not full-grown adults like you and me?

just take a moment to think about it. next time you shop, try to remember your basic manners that your parents ought to have taught you when you were young. everything starts from the basics. it really makes alot difference. serving, and receiving wise, i guarantee a enjoyable experience for all.

thank you-s and simple smiles can make someone's day.
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sjab outing was good, abeit lack of people and many who pulled out last minute. *frowns*

but had good chats with peeps like wj and reg. really opened up my heart and soul to them. about my future plans. my options. heh. i guess i'm quite settled on my decisions already. i ahve to make them now, cos' my brain will never be able to fully function when i receive those much dreaded results. i may commit suicide, trust me. i almost did for my Os.

nydc-ed with them. couple of pics and many unglam shots by wj. mac cafe-ed after that. and train-ed then bus-ed home.
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i hate rainy days. really. skirts are too short to assure you of warmth. my jeans sweep the floor and get dirty with mud, gravel and soil and what-nots. shorts are not decent enough for a teacher-in-act. i'm lost. and my shoes get soaked.

i don't own a mini umbrella. hahahaha.

and i cannot tan. wtf.

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i'm exhausted beyond words. will continue my list when i wake up. i miss loads of people. i really do. i miss school, but i don't want go back.

but when i'm feeling this exhaustion, at least i do not think about you.


what a long entry.