balance of days.

yesterday was just shit.
actually it was't very bad; if i were to think back now.
but i just didn't felt alive.

everything was very routine. boring.
then the buyer was late.
SO DAMN PISSED.
i mean..fuck lah..what's your problem.
so i guess i showed a damn black face to her. i couldn't help it.
my feet were sore and aching and I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BACK IN THE COOLING OFFICE RELAXING AND WATCHING SCV.

BAHHHHH!!!

loathe meet up buyers.
but hell, my money.

monday another 2 more.
two separate times, so smart mans.
kaoz. think i'll rot somewhere in between to read my book.

------

today tuition at the centre was good. the rascals are becoming more and more controllable, although i had to use my discipline style more and more.

respect ba. i need to gain back that elderly respect. and curb their cursing.
kaoz. they are the worst behaved bunch in the entire centre. i'm damn proud of myself to be able to handle them ok. grrrr.

then i saw wy after ages! wheewhee!!!
crapped with her. i like to see her flustered. HAHAHAHAH. because i will say things to niao her. she's amusing to observe. even more entertaining to speak to. =D

chatted a bit with MY too. hmmms. nice guy.

and then i had to damage control that scandal news that mr wang has kindly spreaded for me. wtf.
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT GUY TEACHER CAN. -_-'''

turns out MY knows TH. GREAT.
self-defense failed.
still, i KNOW he is a damn nice guy lah. millions of them told me alrdy.
zzzzzzz.

------

bbq and home-cooked specialties for popo's birthday bash!
wheeee!
all my uncles are damn good at cooking. i love them!
miss the times when was still a toddler and they'll bring me out to play, pamper me with gifts, joke with me, piggy back me, all that......

i do like the extended family.
veyr lively, very loud, very bright.
i wonder how mine will look in the future.
it's so fun right? to have so many siblings living in harmony. along with the in-laws.

the next generation is gonna be sadly isolated.

ate so much sinful food.
then again, i did mention my uncles and some aunties are great cooks right?
and my 3rd uncle is the best. LOL. everytime i say i like one of the deserts he makes, he'll make AN ENTIRE WOK or CONTAINER for me the next time we meet.
GOSH. LOVESSSSS. -beams-

damn skilled. and he likes making new stuff. and my auntie made a kuay lapis cake. MY FUCKING GOD. YOU CAN LITERALLY PEEL EACH LAYER OFF ONE BY ONE.
the quality is that good!!!
zzngggg.

and my 3rd uncle made onehoneh. ZNNNGGG. i'm sure everyone knows that is SUPER HARD TO MAKE OK. god. he is god. he spent like don't know how long experimenting to find out the perfect recipe. :))))

and i don't like onehoneh that much. my sister does love it though.
so i tried one.
IT EXPLODED IN MY MOUTH.
like WTFFFFFF. EXPLODED YES!!!

all the coconut came spurting out the moment you bit down on it.
and the outer skin is tender and thin enough.
many tried to be siwen and ate half bite by half bite. PLEASE.
it all spurted out onto their shirts or the floor. MUAHAHAHAHHA.

ok i'm evil. but he's that good. =D the picture doesn't even do the food justice!



the cake.



the oneh.


and then there was CURRY CHICKEN. FUCKKKKK!!!!

loves. hugeass potatoes and spicy tangy curry with loads of meaty chicken. TOTALLY MY TYPE. wheeee!!

then my mum made salad. which was good to indulge in after you start to feel guilty.
i didn't even touch the longan and sea cucumber drink. =((((

wine was everywhere. but wine ain't really my cup of tea. the smell is familiar though. abstain!

played with sparkles for the fun of it.



mine on the left, sis on the right.



i look crazily delirious. siaodingdong.

otahs. fishballs fishcakes hotdogs sotongs satays.
i cannot think anymore.
the end of the bbq thingy turned out the same like the others.
HAHAHAHHA. distribution of food.

everyone took back a little of something. :D

talked a lot during the thing with my aunties and cousins.
it's funny how we're all almost grown up and they still see me like a kid.
how 2nd aunt says i'm still very boyish and resemble her.
how i don't usually talk to my cousin but i still did today. she has matured, unlike how i used to think.

life's funny.
open mind, peaceful night.
irony, because the atmosphere was definitely far from "peace", but still friendly, warm and filled with love.

neglects: my grandpa and the maid.

i feel bad actually. after i realised.
my grandpa is so quiet. i felt bad for not conversing with him.
he didn't use to be like this. i miss how he'll give me sweets secretly to prevent my stricter grandma from scolding. i miss how he'll guffaw outloud.
i miss my younger grandpa.

but i wish he'll take better care of his health.
love him, i love my grandma too.
but sometimes i cannot voice that love out adequately.
this: i'm ashamed.

i'm starting to open my mind more after reading the book. still in the introduction chapters. but it's really enlightening. deep thought.

shall try to finish it. =(
------

cutie2 stuff reaching next week by mail! :)

byebye. plonking at clementi tml. might be cutting hair.

swollen feet-

although i got to see pretty fireworks(not as impressive as the fireworks competition held earlier).

i got stepped on.
shoved rudely.
infested with fuck-up smells from certain people.
mushed with perspiring bodies and hairy people.

and if not for my trusty backpack, i think my butt would have been groped a thousand times by those assholes.
so pissed off.
some *CENSORED* even grabbed my shoulders and shoved me forward. HELLO!!!! I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND OK. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE YOU KNOW ME.

then there was another *CENSOR CENSOR* tmdknnfuck who pushed me damn hard, stepped on my foot without apologising, and continued pushing WHILE KNOWING THAT I CANNOT FREAKING MOVE BECAUSE THERE WAS NO SPACE AT ALL.

i roared and i shoved back.
kaobei stupid *CENSOR CENSOR*

i was surrounded by all of them today!!!!
ARGHHHH.

shall not comment. but nehneh and i managed to find some standing spot amongst the pricky pink flowers and watch the stupid parade from afar.
stood there for about 2 hours. KNNBCCB.
i got cramps straightafter.
grrrr.

the entire human traffic system was screwed up.
everyone was shoved in a particular direction, then told that the dumbass exit was sealed off and WE HAD TO TURN AROUND AND RETRACE OUR STEPS TO FIND ANOTHER EXIT.
like seriously.

i couldn't help it.
i think i've cussed and swore a million times today.
intentionally or not, i meant some and was just mad at other times.

i've a good mind to voice my dissatisfaction about certain singaporeans;
but singaporeans will always be singaporeans.
and i met some rude french people too.
WTF.
damn spoil mood ok. GO SQUEEZE INTO THE STUPID PRICKLY FLOWERS LAH. so damn irritating.
don't know what's their problem.

bad experience squeezing.
but it got...............after a while.
left later after the crowd had dispersed a bit.
finally arrived at 7-11 to chiong brainfreeze.
damn thirsty.
wanted to get to the mrt. EXIT BLOCKED BY HUMAN SARDINES.
re-routed. rotted at food republic. i suggested we dirnk some tomyum soup(sudden craving) and so we had.
OMGOMG THE TOMYUMSOUP THERE IS HEAVENSSSSS.
-beams.

called a cab and got home.


tml is tuitioning cuzzie, then meeting up with buyer to pass her stuff, then plonking at the centre.
boo.

lazy to take pics in that fucked up environment. but the fireworks were ok, not splendid, but ok.
and the jellyfish really looked dumb.



camwhoring AFTER the ndp show. when we finally had air to breathe.





the jellyfishes. got one bigbig one didn't light up. LAME SHIT.



it's blurred. but that jellyfish next to the merlion is supposedly nehneh's bro's one.



nehneh.



swollen feet.



ok lights.


to conclude, i think it really was a dumb decision to go check out the fireworks along with the crowd.
i must have been possessed.
it DID contibute to the once-in-a-lifetime thingy, but still.......
i was huffing mad half the day.

not worth it. i feel wrinkly again.

loads to get done.
why are the hols so short?
=(

my thighs are rock hard now.

smoothness is good.

MUAHAHAHAHHA.

okok, fast forward to like 1 hour ago, i did my lavender mask FINALLY.
god, my skin is tmd smooth now can.
i feel blissful and loved.
HAHAHAHAHAH.

i'm radiatingggggg!!!

ok, ignore me. i think i gonna stock up on masks liao. kaozzz.
revitalise my dead skin.
-beams


cutie stuff are here.
think i'm selling off a few pieces.
BAHHH.

early noon nehneh woke me up from my beauty sleep.
kaoz. then i bathing keep press doorbell.
damn spoil mood can.
BOOOOO.
went JE to catch a movie supposedly.
SOLD OUT. like WTFFFF.
that jay chou's secret lah.
lame shit.
so we walked around JEC. my god. that place has evolved since my school days man.
grow older le.

ate at some korean mini restaurant.
not bad the food.
massive helping.
couldn't finish.
nehneh is zai.

HEH.

bought a pretty mini shift dress at.......SECRET.
LOL.
my god. it looks expensive.
and it makes me feel pretty.
=))))

wheewhee.
tml is national day.
shall go out and take a little walk with nehneh.
picturessss!
=))))

reading blink by malcolm gladwell.
it's insightful, i feel.

time to upgrade my brain.

WHEE WHEE BOM BEE BEE.

I'M SO HAPPY. EXPLAINS MY CAPS!!!! (AND EXCLAIMATION MARKS)


i'm not going to touch my books for 2 weeks.
PUI PUI PUIIIII.

enough torture. i'm gonna momentarily remove myself from all the pain and over expectations i created by me.

sounds crazy? yups, that's me.

no more perfect gpa.
no more DL.
no more full marks for everything.
at least i'm trying.

never liked studying, will never.
but i make do.
boo. it's all the process.
soon, soon, i will be freed.
soon, i will seek life; the one i want.


it's gonna be work, training (for the impossible 42km. i will psycho myself to learn qi kong and float on air.) and going out with loves.
-BEAMS-
enjoy life for 2 weeks also shuang.

exams were pretty shitty.
it's always shitty when i don't know how to do more than 5 Qs. or uncertainties.

i'll never learn to trust my first instincts.
dammit. i really should.

blink phenomena.

kaoz.

past is past.
just secure me decent enough grades.
i still wanna see the DL.

bye bye.
lavender mask.
sleeping without bothering when to wake up.
and why why love, finally!

post with pics coming up, when i'm free and bored.
-grins.
stay tuned.
damn..........insightful.

few minutes.

could make my decision.

i guess, it's the wrong person at the wrong time.

so pissed.
chickens.
it's not that i am not accepting.
i just don't see why.

i never imagined i would feel this way.
utmost disappointment.
i got that clear sign, sure.

but right now, i wish i could just disappear.
let me be gone.
i give up.


forever the replacement.
forever the lost.
forever doesn't exist.

looks like the curse still lives on.


all i wanna do is just break it.


why? WHYYYYY?

-sigh-

hates.



Helenanana... has left the conversation.

MZ says:
bye
MZ says:
tmd my bye lag

of course, there are still LB in my life despite the lous JBs.
ha.
those keep me alive.
thanks.

random musings.

i wanna update with tons of pictures of crazy tawning session at abs.
and whine about how i hate studying.
how i dread exams.
how my gpa is gonna fall like mad.
how i get super turned off by mgq and you.

and how you failed to msg me.
no more jb.
=((((

perhaps it's just a forgettable time.

lacking sleep.
lacking brains.
lacking shit.
constipated.


then there's the msn exotic chat online.
because we all so burnt.
brain dead.
brain spoilt.
gee.
contents CANNOT be exposed.
HAHAHAHAHHA.

drop me a sign please. a clear, unambiguous, consistent one.
tired of speculating.
tired of being on tenterhooks.
i want you.
wait, maybe i don't.



nehneh is my advocate devil.

znggg. everyone LOVES pictures.

another mix of good and bad things in one day. balancing out life.

stress is building up, and pimples are popping out. indictors mans...i have a huge swollen one on the left of my back. KNN. painnnn.

ok, let's talk about jing bao things first.

1) pon mgq halfway and went to bugis. did some stuff. had ab's birthday meal celebration before she went for her interview. whee. nice food i say! ma maison! bugis village. hope you loved it girl! :)

think i'm becoming a bad student. haizzzz. very very very badddd. and we always have unplanned outings. grrr. still....

a few pics first. before nehneh uploads those in her phone.



nice cosy interior. loves english quaint-ness feel plus a blend of west-asia fushion. ohhhh. helped that the waitors and waitresses and cooks are quite good looking. =))))




hanging pots and pans reminded me of fairytale stories. minus the part where pots would fall on mz's head cos' she's sitting under them.




damn cool table lamp which reminds me of those old old shows. HAHAHAH




THAT IS OUR TABLE TAG. we were supposed to bring the tags there for billing. damn cool. DAMN HEAVY.




ain't this picture pretty? =))))

funny how there's no pics of food right? the food came, and all of us were so in awe of it; we gobbled everything up and forgot to take pics. so when abs left and we decided to have brownie with ice-cream, we said we'll take the pics for our dessert.

brownie came. brownie left.
no pictures. oops.

pigs.

2) shopped. big big hole. cannot imagine mans. and i decided to pay my outstanding sprees beforehand so that one day shock dao wan. HAHAHAHHA. (means one day just tahan all the shocks) boooos.

but...

3) boss jh called to tell me i have tuition from wednesday to sunday, EVERYDAY.
i will cry. i will. and i totally have no time to study. seriously. i will flunk finals. WHY DO I ALWAYS FLUNK FINALS????

at least it means money for me.
but i'm losing my balance. haiz.

4) mz's hands still move damn fast.



5) alot of unglam pics. school makes us mad. COMPILATION.



plain retarded. i look bo gei.



self-timer rocks.



er. guess who? correct no prize, sorry.



SERIOUSLY SCHOOL OF RETARDED. MY GODDDD. unglam maxxxx. kaoz. and i don't know why. it's supposed to be paul twohill rendition. HAHAHAHAH.



errrr. hi meow? she thinks it's ultra cool to pose like that.



ah ha! abs caught unglam!!! whee whee.




he doesn't know.




ignore my spastic face. but yea, now he knows. HAHAHAHAHHA.




not-paying-attention-in class evidence serial number 249835493849.



i have no idea why she um chio until like that. tskkkk. JAB.



guess who. no prizes again.




er. that's my grandma lee peipei. lao ren chi dai.




RANDOM.



my favourite brand of milk.



the old school emos rock.



scandalous finger massaging in class. TSK.




i love cam whoring with my legs. HAHAHAHA




errrrr. nehneh acting cute??

5) i signed up for this year's standard chartered run. 42km run. please, if you are damn free, pray for my safety, both going and coming back. zzzznggg.

it's time to start training... AND MARSHY AND WHITE ASS, I"M WARNING YOU GUYS AGAIN: NO PANGSEH. NO ABANDONMENT.

booosss. =( i will not be running that competitively. more of a test of endurance. 2nd december. still got time........

6) sorry for not inviting you guys to my wedding.....but....I GOT MARRIED!



to two spikey cacti hubbies. ZNNGGG. photography courtesy of abs. HAHAHAHAHA. gross. fuckkkkk.
still. suan leee.

PLS PS PLS. I DO NOT LIKE CACTUS. arghhh.

7) i cannot remember what other jing bao things i have recently.
too much has happened and it's really scary. sighs. coping.
and hoping.

please let me pull through.
i'm dying slowly. painfully.
until i no longer can feel.


HAHAHAHHA. my bag has been posted out! can't wait to see my bag. hope it's damn gorgeousss. whee whee.