blurred.

i have a very pretty friend who is very unglam. HAHAAHA. ok lah, not like i very glam (almost same level liao, shit!), but oh wells, i seem to have MANY of her unglam pictures.

presenting to you...

.
.
.
.
.
.
MZ!

big faces.


she's damn proud she's got a long neck!


my box made her cheeck swell.



damn shocked she saw herself.

nice hair. keep up the good work!


my palm very nice hor. HAHAHAHA.


i had to arrange this. twins are hot. HAHAHAHA. errrr.

this is just so............unglam.


then she thought she'll look better with one eye only.



OMFG. no comments.

ok that's enough.
classic mans. looking through the pictures just made me laugh out loud. TSK!
------

so these days have been crazy.
317 presentation went ok. i thought i was pretty confident.
and it helped that i saw response from er...the people sitting infront of me.
which was encouraging.
didn't score too badly, for someone who prepared her ppt from 9pm to 1pm(yes yes tv-ing in between).
then rehearsed her script twice.
HAHAHAHA.
thank you ll.

and then there were the tests.
got back a couple. namely ugc211. i SALVAGED MYSELF!!!
okkkk. so i need to salvage 2 more times. dammit.
coming tues another test. =((((

soc101 today was like o.o
I NEVER STUDY TWO FUCKING CHAPTERS.
-died.
i managed to cram more during the 1 hour before the quiz.
zzzz.
thank you ll, i think i got 1 mistake SO FAR.
which is good. so glad. so lucky. blessed mans. (:
on another hand, i'm pretty sure that stupid kala thinks i'm a cheater. knnccb.
hmpfff. i will prove her wrong man. never cheated at all can. lanpekindianwoman.
biased fuck lah.
and i got so skeptical that i might forget to shade any part of my scantron that i checked THREE times. yes yes, i'm lag.

sighs. so anyway i'm home now. officially unemployed. thinking of walking around clementi to look for part-time. nearer my house more convenient in any case i'm late. =D i need money to shop!!!

i see ankle boots EVERYWHERE and i'm bloody tempted. hates.
WAITTTTTT. i don't believe i can't find the hottest knee high boots in HK. ROARRR!
oh yes, the dim sum.

killing time rotting, RELAXING (YAYYYY!!!) and surfing websites which i've never really gotten the time to.
FELICIA CHIN IS DAMN HOT. please do go to my links and view her blog. i love her mans. but i can never be as thin as her. or pretty for that case. damn!
i ought to be ashamed. same height but different shape. HAHAHAH.

gonna go run and burn off those chilli fries from superdog in a while's time.
I SHALL SLIM DOWN!!! (studies shown that the more people you decalre your resolutions to, the more you'll keep up with them. I HOPE SO. who's reading anyway?)

i hate my profile view. ARGHS.
i need a facelift.

randomness. questions unanswered.
so it happened. 0.0
i cannot be happy. karma mans.
i shall befriend her. (:
contrary to popular belief, NO I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING. (:

bought a sweater-like thing from topman. gonna be another of my short short dress. yums.
fall winter rocks.
ok anything with winter rocks.
until i get a decent tan, summer sucks. =(((

i don't wanna be so whiteeee.
mental note to self: plan date for gene, haoz and bs to go sentosa/ecp to exercise and absorb sun!


i guess in a way, i'm happy to be me.
life may be boring now, lacking in _________, but i can live with it.
there are some things i really wanna do still.
like learn horse-riding. ANYONE WANNA SPONSER ME??? pretty pleaseee.
NOT TROTTING kind, but galloping in the fields kind.

it feels so good to be integrating into the sofa and listening to good music. wheewhee.
shall stay here until my batt runs flat and it's a sign i should go jogging. more pics!

i've got a chipmunk-ish face. NEVER TAKE PICS FROM MY PROFILE.



ps: ignore the eyes. lack of sleep lahs. one big one small. wtf.


my nostrils are so black. HAHAHAHA. ok lame.


i have no idea what's with my pose. looks damn...bimbotic. don't ask why. my fingers just happened to be there.

not scary at all.

my idea. HAHAHA.


er. unhappily married. lol.


head too big for neck-hole.



no money lah. tee shirt too small.


i was afraid of double chin. HAHAHAHA.

------

okok. batt running lowwww.
byebyeeee.

shall go tone up my sexymama (like real) legs.

i feel damn sick.

with splitting headache and vomit rising up my throat.

kind little yiyan asked me go bang the wall maybe might feel better.

i've spent my entire night doing 317 ppt for tml, plus the fucking speaking notes.
i hope everything goes well in a few hours time. didn't prepare much.
sigh. shall pray that i appear confident and all that crap.

i've yet to touch socio. congrats to me. i might as well not go school on wednesday. dammit. but she's returning our essay1 and handing in of proposal for poster.
pekcek.

my head is exploding soon.
i cannot continue.
bye.

weekend sucks.

thought this video was not bad. tad bit of touching, well if you place yourself in her shoes. actually this series of MVs are interconnected. which resulted in me youtubing everything. zzz.

yes, procrastinating and running away from my troubles and stupid life never helps.

i've got many unglam pics of dearest mz. but shall upload when i have more time. shall have all the not so unglam ones today.

so tired. was terribly sick yesterday. could not even stand my reflection in the mirror. pale like fuck. resisted the urge to go home, because school lasted till 6pm and i still had work after that. i managed to drag my battered body home after work. wanted to slack a little online. internet died. so i just went to bed.

slept about 12hrs worth of week sleep. woke up, flu much better although still sneezing. no more hotness in the body. but my THROAT HURTS LIKE FUCK. everything i swallow hurts. and i have phelgm. and my sides hurt from the excess sneezing yesterday.

what a very lousy day.
i'm trying to dirnk all the water i can get my hands on.

work in the evening just now. last day of work for october tomorrow.

i really dread the weekends. so much work is waiting me AND i refuse to look at them in the face. i really wish to run away and never return.















which is impossible anyway. -sighs-

i've gotta be the worst student ever.

wednesday-

tired as usual.
too tired to type. too tired to be nice. too tired to WANT to be nice.

socio-ed. town-ed for some stuff. train-ed to boon lay where i died on the train and some auntie woke me up when it reached boon lay. paiseh like fuck.

disoriented.
work i never can seem to finish.
response paper 3 done. one summary done. one summary left.
one 231 essay. one 317 ppt. one socio quiz.

i hope i wouldn't go bald.

i guess, i really do have ___________.

trying to control my diet and grab as many jogs as possible.


tuition was exhausting. i didn't know i still had 9kids left. but it's the last of their english lessons from me. think i still have creative this sat though. saw wy after damn long. missed her like fuck. only she can understand.

similarity draws people closer.
but when she leaves for auzzie soon, i think i will break down mans.
sighs. my pillar of support.

my kids are gonna fail their english. and i seriously cannot be bothered. i tried my best to teach, but substance and self-discipline is another thing. if they don't want or wish to improve, if they are contented where they are, nothing will spur them. i give up. they asked if i would be their teacher next year. and all of them know my temper--patient and tolerant, but don't mess around with me.

if i get them again i would get high blood pressure.

i guess blogging helps release a little bit of stress. blogging more for my own purpose..writing what i want to. although i am aware people do read. but i just really need to vent.

my schedule and weariness makes me NOT WANT to be nice.
i really and trying to be nice. but my patience is wearing thin.

most of the time, i can't be bothered to argue anymore.
so don't piss me off. i may not show it, but you have definitely stepped on my toes.
think before you speak, or not i'll make equally cutting remarks. don't regret.


and oh, don't be a two-faced snake. who knows, it might actually backfire on you. HAHAHAAHA. folklore.


shagged max.
got black jeans(partial boot cut partial skinnies), stripey cardigan, golf shoes.

aye. snigger on.
i'm not that odd. just maybe here, i am.
for deviance is socially constructed and perceived.

i want my personal space, without textbooks in it.
fucked up school term. holiday beyond.

byebye, back to work.
gonna be unemployed soon.

upside down-

SPEED DATING ON THE MRT???? omg. i think i'm lagging in societal trends. or maybe one day, you might find me joining such events. HAHAHAH.



The beloved gummy bears! yums!!




ahhh, my new dress! (: little bit retro, little bit vintage. just very prim and proper.



bored in class one day.



errr, apparently still very bored.
------

my internet is screwed and i'm so pissed i cannot be pissed further.
there's nothing for me to do. -shrugs-
please do something about your lagging service singnet.

ugc quiz is over.
i heard news of soc quiz. GREAT. i thought i just conquered one. =S

i have no idea what to update. prolly my to do list. which just grew again. SIGH.

i need to shit. stomachache.

OH YA. i heard his deep voice again today, and i'm having second thoughts on my resolve. sian. i really need to quit such erratic behavior.

johan is irritating and annoying. what a bitch. ROARRRRR! i believe he has something against me. don't insult me cannot one seh. BUT OH WELL, his day was good due to mr. 2pm. TSKKKK.

/edit.

talked to bro online for a bit. quite interesting lahs. i guess, there will be people out there. just gotta wait.

accidentally cut myself on the wrist by my file. lame shit. now i've got a plaster across my left wrist. i look suicidal. oh god. don't send me to IMH please.

jogged after returning from ugc class. around 40mins or so. just needed to sweat it out. feeling healthier! (:

i think this weekend i don't need to sleep. congratulations to my eye rings! wheeee.

maybe disassociation helps?
or really, manipulation and masks are better?
sigh, which to choose.
which can i allow myself to act on?
complicated.


what my destiny beholds.
suddenly i feel so muted.
------


oh mans, i look like i'm either watching porn or some terrible movie.



our spokesowman of www.pokpokgei.blogspot.com


(if you actually wanted to visit this link, you've been LAG-ED. HAHAHAHA!)



random lahs. on yan's phone.



ayyeee, i'm sure my hair scares away alot of people. -grins.



just wrong.
------

back to my ugc essay. screwed. time to unscrew myself.
and rethink certain things. gotta sort things out instead of shelving them. sighs.
bye.

o.o

SIGH.
well, unexpected indeed.
it's funny how life tends to surprise us time and time again.
what excuses can we have? that we are too busy? too caught up earning money to survive?
too busy to study?
i guess, in a way, we have no excuse, for it's merely a sign of being weak and allowing ourselves to excuse for our poor performance.

i have to stop finding excuses for myself.
=(


SOC101 marks stunned me. did better than expected. well, considering i totally didn't touch 3 chapters at all. HA.

and COM231 is bullshit.
=(((((

COM337 and 317 should be revealed within this week i suppose.

and UGC211...shall we even go there?
that single digit is haunting me. and i don't like being in this state. yet i feel familarity.
like how the old times used to be back in JC. HAHAHAHA. sighs.

UGC quiz tml which i TOTALLY cannot give up on because it's gotta be counted.
god save me. LL save me.
please. i wish i am deserving of your help.


it would be a miracle if i still remain on the list this semester.
given my fuckuped schedule and brain dead condition.

even if i drop outta it, i guess i will give myself a pat on my back just for my sheer determination.
then congratulate myself that i haven't gone to IMH.

anything 3.5 and above should do. =(

shall go back to my american indians.
so tired.
when will i have a decent rest without thinking about a million things in one second?

oh right, com337 article analysis to conquer.
vamps shall roam the night again.

wee hours.

in the wee hours of the night, i'm not very awake, not very tired.
caught a 1 hour nap to recover from tuition fatigue.
wanted to write my ugc response.
my brain can't function. =(((((
how to produce a A-worthy paper????

sighs. breatheeeee. i need solitude and a clear mind.
i need no distractions and discipline.

and i bloody hell need some decent exercise.
i swear i'm ballooning like some hippo with insatiable desires for food.
=(

cellulite, flabs, sagging muscles.
-SCREAMS-


and i really despise being so WHITE.
makes me look...ghostly.


aching all over. tense muscles. who can offer a free massage, please?

ok, now i'm starting to feel tired.
damn. i still need to waste $1.30 to travel to and fro clementi and my house just to plonk myself on the chair till boss comes to take over.
pissed. i wish i had a chauffeur.
HAHAH dream on jielin, good job!


i saw it, the dream pair.


YAWN.

i want my chocolate waffles, please.

suicide club-

so in case the previous entry was too dry and you got so bored you couldn't be bothered to scroll down and read my random ramblings, today's entry will be shorter.

watched suicide club despite my ugc response paper screaming at me to START writing. =( so dead next tuesday. let's hope i live through it with an A. =(((((

can't miss this quiz anymore. SIGH. pekcek ugc.

the movie is just odd. go to crunchyroll.com, type in suicide club and retrieve the complete movie.

it has no........ending. totally clueless.
the plot is fine, but i still think it's rather, brainless.
hell. it's a freaking cult i'll say. using psychoanalysis or probably simply tapping on one's insecurity and doubts of life.

if words don't mean what they mean, where does the meaning lie? in the way we interpret it? are we really so easily influenced?

do you know the connection between you and yourself? if you die, does that connection disappear? if your loved ones die, and you die, is that connection the same? will you remain connected to the world?

bizzare.

maybe this world is really moving too fast for many of us. fads come and go. so where do you belong? how long will you stay there before you move on?

------

anyway abs sent me this link. it's pretty good.
relevant to students.
i liked the start, yes abs.
HAHAHA reminds me of my scribbling. =S



------

met up with haoz and gene finally! dinner-ed at subway. gosh, the 2 of them shared one meal and i devoured one ALL BY MYSELF.
tell me i don't look like a giant next to them. geez. they are so skinny. =((((

felt good to catch up a little. laugh and chat a little.
must meet up soon.

(note to self: i still owe roy a meet up)

the town is filled with pretty boys.
what an eyeful! :)
okok, out of reach out of league.

------

i should start on my ugc response now. boos.
get an A.

linkin park on itunes. what an irony: given up.

craziest day-

i think i just had the craziest day of my week.
and i can foresee crazier ones in the following weeks. =(

WARNING: long entry ahead devoid of graphics. read on at your own risk.

slept at 4:30am doing up my script for the ppt.
was supposed to wake up at 5:30am, BUT apparently i heard no shit coming from my hp(alarm clock) and i slept till 7am. FUCKKKKK.
7am was like the timing we were supposed to be meeting.
cursed and swore and managed to leave the house in 30mins looking like a freak.
stuck my hand out and hailed a merc cab. -_-

so damn shagged. managed to reach school for rehearsals.
i'm pretty sure i didn't handle my part well enough.
sighs, but i did my best. let's pray and hope.

felt damn dehydrated, exhausted and.........dead for the ENTIRE day.
couldn't take it once our ppt was over. i did my best not to slump onto the floor and die. had lessons till 6pm. ROARRRRR.
bus-ed to clementi for tuition. kids....were.....deafening....but ok, they are kids afterall. i might just miss them. LOL.

i wonder how much and when will i get my next pay. expecting a huge drop in incomes. sucks.

got headache mid-way in school. pounding head for the rest of the day until i reached home and got a relieving hot bath. it's much better now, with less nerves.

so, tgit. i got to start working on my ugc quiz and response paper due tues. not to mention article analysis for 337.

i wonder when i'll be able to relax.

i think i scare myself, because once you climb all the way up there, somehow, some way or another, you are just so freaking scared to fall back down.

right now, i face these emotions in certain aspects of my life.
i hate to underperform. now that i've set the standards for my ugc paper, i'm terrified that my future papers are gonna be NORMAL.
it's the pressure, expectations and fear.

i'm gonna try....to take it in stride...like how i did in esl....

talked to steph (ugc class) quite abit today. she's so nice! hahahah! totally click mans. it was before our ugc lesson, then i was just saying bye to her as she left the lect after 231 with ERHEM, and she said "see you soon".

which sounded odd because "soon" was supposed to mean she's ponning or not?
HAHAAHA. so that one greeting led to us sitting down and chatting nonstop.
she's such a cheery girl. nice vibes.
not like certain _______ peeps.
HAHAHAHA.
repulsive, but i shall act meek and well, let you assume that you are the greatest and ___________.


does deviance terrify you? it's harmless in this context.
and i wonder why.
but....nevermind. (:


self-destruction in the making.


and so, i realised i've indeed been uber stressed out by exams.
for com337 mid terms, guess what did i do? i almost surpassed mz in lagness. dammit.

i WROTE MY NAME IN THE BOXES, shaded every freaking other boxes for subject codes and exams dates and answers etc.

AND I FORGOT TO SHADE FOR MY NAME.
LIKE WTF???!?!?!?!
was my brain burnt or what????
zzzzzz.

ok i admit it was from the com337 exams, com317 exams and ugc ppt on that day.

wahlau. =( uber paisehhhh.


and ya, ______'s gf offered me a piece of paper from her notebook when i asked someone else for a scrap piece of paper to write group members names' on it!
zzzzzz.

shocked. but yea, nice of her lahs.
taken aback definitely.

and not attracted to _______ already, which is good. (:


and ______ said that my dress was nice. hehe. loves.

and _______ said that i looked like that person in the pic! omgggg. if it's true then loves! hahahah. sighs. compliments are hard to receive. perceptions vary greatly and startle indefinitely.


i really should start being aneroxic or just eat less.
since i doubt i'll ever rely on pills or oral medication to slim down.
i need to plan workout schedule soon. flabbing like no one's biz. hate flabs.
social pressures mans.

who doesn't want to look good (with the premise that you actually have good brains too).

ahhh, LL seems to be caring a little about me. (:

ah yes, the pointy blacks almost distorted my poor feet.
deformed mans.
round-toed ones definitely in the future.

surprise, haven't worn my sis's boots yet. gee, and i see hotness boots in so many pictures. pekcekkkk.

i will survive!!!!



tons of work over the weekend. lesser workload from centre due to hols. reduced incomes and tight schedules.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
if you actually bothered to read and scroll patiently.
i just fell asleep at the computer.

good night darlings.

sincerity beats ___________.

aching-

been crazily deprived of sleep or entertainment, losing my temper more often, then reminding myself to curb all debilitative emotions because the root of it is wrong.
trying my best to remain cheery.

long sentence.

anyway, my right arm is terribly achy now.
boarded a cramped bus heading home. i almost got kiaped by the door cos' i couldn't freaking squeeze through. but since someone behind me squeezed forward, she got kiaped instead. =D

and since i was smelling 2 people's butt and standing on the stupid step, i had no where else to hold onto for balance. my right arm was supporting my laptop and a bag with my black shoes, with a backpack, and my left arm had to stretch out to hook around some random pole at the front of the bus.

there was a jam.

by the time i got off the bus, my right arm was numb.
it's still aching, and my biceps are back. HAHAHAHAH. wtffff.

socio quiz was ok lah. aiya never study finish can't expect much. i thank ladyluck for all she has helped. i will work harder! (:

com337 ppt tml. bless me with good luck and ETC.

then....let's hope i get to sleep abit before conquering my ugc quiz and response paper for next week. perpetually tired. is. not. good.

i want my holidays.


went walking around far east. bought my "formal" dress, and it's a really pretty dress! finally a shift dress, classic i like! (: lovesss.

dresses are art pieces. easy to wear, mindless to match, and well, cover all my fats. playful yet pretty, comfortable yet not too sloppy.

now i just need my boots. and i saw 2 beautiful pairs today. dirt cheap. buttttt, the heels will kill. dammit. my i swear THAT pair was made for me. fitted like a glove!!!! i was damn surprised.

sighs. i gotta learn how to wear high heels. god damn sexy. covered heels turn me on. (no i don't have fetish for girls, i just like certain heels) roarrrr.

i just get damn paranoid that i'll fall flat on my face or sprain my ankle. since i am always running for my buses and down the stairs to catch departing vehicles. grrrr.


boots boots. no moneyyyyy.

it's time i start dieting.
that tummy is pissing me off.


played around with yan's macbook. HAHAHAHA. please take a look at how cute i am. =D
















more for next post. lazy upload. hehe.
byebye.

say hi to my new lover-

TADAAA!!! isn't he so hot?
HAHAHAHHA. ok i'm not sure if it's a male or female, but uber cute and makes me laugh.
loves.
anyway, i found this pic when i typed "rainie yang" on google. zzzzz.
and no, i wasn't so random. just that i was searching for the right hairstyle to transform myself. and.....well, i just couldn't find. ROARRRR.


thinking of com337 ppt. soc quiz. ugc quiz. i'm ready to explode. or implode.
damn stressed.



i thought her neck was frigging long.
then i rmbed SOMEONE's (who shall not be named lest i be murdered ERHEM) neck who is the opposite. HAHAHAHAH.



i thought this was rather sexy in an understated way.
i like.
jetblack.
sighs. it's the features, i'm convinced.


utterly pointless entry.
my sunday was spent.......lousily.
still having cravings for breaded prawns, butter/chilli crabs,hugeass lobsters, crispy mantou, curry chicken drumsticks, sambal kangkong.
all the most sinful stuff possible.
no wonder i am growing fat.

people starve when they get stressed. i binge. nonstop.

oh, i'll never finish studying my socio quiz again.
GREAT. i'm so proud of myself.

byebye.



wadda ya looking at?

saturday.

it's hari raya today...so happy hari raya to everyone!

tuition was ok. managed to stone a little and it wasn't so stressed anyway.
the kids have no hint of nervousness or worries over their exams. give up. HAHAHAH. i believe to each his own.

so my kids told me really lame jokes again. TSK!

the centre was pretty quiet. must be the holidays.

i find myself unable to breathe properly for some reason.
there seems to be something stuck in my windpipe.
kinda......arghs.
i think i'm developing a cough.

december decemberrrrrr.
to think about it makes me happy. aim to travel at least one new country every year!
let's hope by 30 i'd have reached africa. HAHAHAHA.

no harm returning back to europe. (:


i'm tired. i think pf, jh and i were talking about sleep debt before ugc one day. lol. that debt never runs dry, and we'll nv get to repay it.

i feel the love of my parents. wheewhee. happy. (:


ok i need to drink more water. can't fall sick now.
got so many essays and quizzes coming up.
ARGHS.
pekcek leh.
suan le..keep positive attitude can do better! (:


real people make me real.

if i know what's inside, it's half the battle won. right?
right.
i'll do just fine.
(:

random pics.

don't really feeling like writing much. i'll let the picstures take the limelight.

-never got my hair cut because it was raining and i felt lazy
-got my nails RE-painted
-stoned
-got tempted to go shopping
-watched my xg after....god knows how long
-i will do my mask later, i hope.
-as i am sitting here, there is an evil mozzie sucking my blood. angry.
-wanted to cut up some of my clothes but too lazy to lift up a finger.
-it's public hols, but i still have work on saturday. angry.

-i think i won't earn much this month. and i cannot really be bothered.


i was just thinking. if you had nothing.
you were stripped of your ________,
would you still be as cocky as you are now?
if you were further stripped of your _________,
would you even be you?

i guess, those things make you.
another _______________.
for once, i saw the light.
the pointlessness of ___________.
i guess it's time i do some reflecting.


life is certainly much more than this.