dumb dumb wants gum gum.

HAHAHAHA.
okkkk, night at the museum is just RETARDEDLY funny.
laughed like mad.
the characters are just hilarious lah.
and how they change over time.
seriously. that 8 bucks is well spent. i deserve that much of laughter after so long. =)

met monz and edwin and ming in vivocity for the movie, then dinner at the HK cafe afterwhich. set me back poorer by 20 bucks. SIGH.

then lingered around the shops. GOT MY GAP SWEATER FINALLY.
they say it looks nice on me, i'm glad.
but i'm left with $1 after spending $89 on it.
SIGH. grass, here comes jielin the cow.


but well, i can cross it off my wish list i guess.
if only my make-believe-rich-bf had bought that for me. HAHAHAHAHA.
okok, i'm dreaming ok? give me a break.

now it's time to save. no more shopping. i guess i needa leave my off-white high cut sneakers to mid year shopping. =(

JAN is the month when i can earn pretty much. so bless me. i wanna see that 4 digit account again. please please please.

COME STUDENTS COME. more students=more pay.


i feel so happy now.
-grins-


it's NYE now. woots!
can't wait to see the sec 4 class peeps again.
god knows how long sia. =D

yea, mission tummy-reduction is still on the way.
maybe i should squeeze in a run later in the noon.
WORK HARD!!!!


the rainy season is almost over, they all say.
what a pity.
i like all of it.
except increased mosquito attacks.
change of season, change of luck.
i hope 2007 will be kinder to me.
it's time.

wish list.

coming rather late i must add.
but well, this i shall strive towards!


1) T10 camera please.
2) GAP sweater i've been eyeing for god damn long.
3) travelling at EOY of 2007--japan, HK, taiwan(choose one, hopefully)
4) start my own savings plan for the FUTURE, yes. let me see a 4 figure a/c.
5) lose 5kg and get a decent body.
6) GPA 3.5 ABOVE please, for new sem.
7) FUCKING PASS MATHS, PRAY.
8) meet new friends, enjoy new sem, and yes, THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.
9) maintain present friendships of course.
10) new laptop. =(
11) new breakthroughs in life.
12) grow wiser, street and books.
13) be unbreakable.
14) be more appreciative of family, friends.
15) drink less. fats alert. health alert.
16) regain my legs.
17) save my face.
18) be happier, truly.
19) more more more shoes. drool. and clothes. DUH.
20) snow globe with a snowman in it. winded. AND music. SIGH.
----------

for now. that's about it.
now, it's time for my run.
DISCIPLINE JIELIN!

maintain maintain.



last summer.
finally, the sun is shining again.

impending.

silver rain.

pay is coming.

goal is nearing.

saving must start soon.

how will i spend NYE?
so many plans. yet which should i go to.
shucks.

weighing opportunity cost.
or maybe i can just stay at home.


sigh.

nothing much to blog recently.
too much things i want to do.
yet no company.
and weather is not favourable.
sibeisian.
now the internet is protesting.

i'm growing mould.

one minute can change so many things.

snowing.

perhaps if we consider raining in singapore to be snowing, then we are having a white christmas indeed.

strong winds, strong pelts of raindrops on the pavements, on the roads, the people.
is it snowing in their hearts too?


today, as i stood out there in the balcony, the wind smelt sweet.
surprisingly.
like sugar-coated cakes and candies.
with whipped cream on the top and cherries adorned.
with icing all over, colours sprinkled.


so sweet, i wanted to breathe in everything.
wished i could eat air.
perhaps my heart would too be filled in that sweetness.


i used to hate the rain.
i found myself loving it this year.
the cold, the chill that runs down your spine when wind sweeps your hair across your face.
whips your clothes in all directions, loose leaves falling on your head.
the grey skies, as pretty as the once clear-blues.
you just need a different perspective.


so, i received my first christmas card this year.
nowadays people don't bother with the tiresome snail-mail anymore.
sms-es, emails, msn greetings.
this unexpected card warmed my heart.

i think if maybe i don't care so much,
it doesn't matter that much at all.
sometimes, somethings, i think i don't care at all.
i choose selectively.
i placed these choices wrongly.


digression.
i like my hair.
found the right way to style it.
at least i won't look so boy anymore.
HAHAHAHA.


samsam is right.
im suffering from a syndrome.
and i hope i can get out of it soon.

creep.
now, if only someone could sing that song to me.


that tree, infront of my window for years.
only today, that i realised it's all bare.
shedding it's leaves year by year.
twigs, branches, trunk, roots; its remnants.
it has bared its soul.
around it, the other trees wave their green covered branches happily.
ignorant, oblivious, proud, sheltered.
humbly, that bare tree stood, silent, watching, observing, knowing.

the humble tree.
the rainy day.
the sweet winds.

merry christmas!

merry christmas to all!
ok, so maybe i'm not so hyped over this festive period, though i think i ought to be, cos the entire world is so excited over it.
hmmm. maybe it's just this year. the mood ain't here.

somehow the company was ok, but not smashing good.
maybe that's why.
maybe ____.


-shrugs-
anyway, i have many more christmas-es ahead.

steamboated with hockey ppl.
it was fun while it lasted.
a walk in the rain did me good.
the long bus wait and ride woke me up.

the grey skies were pretty today.
just look harder.


i'm sick.
sorethroat and all.
fucking bad.


oh wells, i miss hel.
fuck it, but i do.
i miss familiarity.
i miss alot of people.
but i'm blessed that so many people still remembered me, and bothered to wish me merry christmas.
hehs.
thankful.


well, it's a christmas to learn from.
it's a lesson to teach me well.
i've learnt.
again.


the lie, wasn't perfect. but it'll do.

christmas should be a busy day.
out out out.
i hope i get well soon.
or not i won't stop.


so bring me away.
christmas-es shouldn't be defined by presents i guess.

i wish _____.

please observe your manners.

ok fine, so what if i burp loudly?
hahahah.
i pretty much observe basic courtesy, AND i don't burp when with strangers ok!


anyway, my point here is about basic etiqutte in public.

i saw a _____ man digging his nose on the bus.

very very turn off. cos' he was standing infront of me, and he stuck TWO fingers into ONE nostril and started DIGGING around for...i assume...nose-shit.
traumatising.
after he supposedly found that piece of nose-shit, he took out his fingers and ROLLED the shit up, and flicked it onto the floor.

fucking horrified.

AND THEN, he used that same offending hand to hold onto those metal poles you see on the bus for commuters to hang onto for balance.

i'm so not going to touch them again.

disgusted.


then there are incidents of people with oily/gel-ed hair leaning against the plastic panels on MRT/bus. they leave behind this suspiciously oily smudge that is beyond gross for the next commuter to sit next to.
REALLY. even if you were that tired, you would psycho yourself not to fall asleep, or at least not fall asleep and piak your head against the windows.



and then there are people with armpit odour and insist on holding onto the handrails ABOVE, torturing people beside them.
i almost died all the way from clementi to raffles place. (i know, a pity i didn't right?)
i had to try to be polite and turn my head away, breathing the air from the opposite direction. if the train wasn't that packed, i would have moved obviously.
sigh.

i know i'm being mean, but at least if i know i have unshaved armpits or body odour, i would MASK them first with like sleeved clothes, try not to raise my arms, or even with perfume. not just flaunt them--as if they were things to be proud of.


it creates a very bad experience for any average commuter on public transport.

atop of the habitual squeezing and shoving and kiasu rushing for the seats, i am pretty tolerable ok.

maybe i should increase this tolerance level?




the wind today was good.
i could hear that clear clings from the wind chime outside.
the cheerful and teasing sounds.
pleasant, even in the silent night.


ran. finally.
it didn't rain.
good.

i'm working hard on my before sleep exercises.
HAHAHAHA.
it's better than not trying ok! =(


well, two more days left to the perfect lie.
i should be able to do it.
lying should be my forte anyway.



told my mum my results.
"wah, quite good ah."

glad.


chose my classes.
should still be different from some of the previous semester's friends. =( oh wells, things will work out.


someone give me a snow globe please.

short short.

hair.

spikey is back.
woots.
with highlights!
and when i'm out with girls, sometimes i feel like a butch. FUCK.


eh, i am not ok.
relax.

just needed a change lah.
very sian.
since cannot change clothes, no money, spend abit change hairstyle lor.



it's bloody depressing to walk down orchard road 3 times in 3 days and find so many things you wanna buy, but you have no financial ability to.
it's THAT serious.
and it really makes me very very very upset.
what to do?
tolerance, endurance, trying to be contented.
yea man.

fuck it.
i'll have to think of ways to update my wardrobe without spending then.
SIGH.

don't say my dressing is weird.
it's just not the same.

don't blend.



unexpected.
i planned to forget, you had to remind.
-shrugs-
still intending to forget.
see how.


fuck it.
santa claus, i've been really good this year, but i feel punished this christmas.

no boots weeks.

hel says im weird. as in dressing.
really really broke my heart.
I THAT WEIRD MEH?
(politically correct answer please)

HAHAHA.
oh well.
nevermind lah, i like can already right.
it's erm....DIFFERENT, UNIQUE, WHATEVER.


but data entry job cannot wear boots.
sigh. gonna miss them.
back to flats i guess.
and i need clothes, seriously.
fucking sad.

lousy christmas. no money, cannot even give liao.
each day my bank account is screaming its sadness.

gotta start saving once pay is here.
TRAVEL!!!!!
yay i have a date with hel after graduation.
LOL.
long long ago.

first sem results are passable.
cannot compare with others lah, limited intelligence.
shall not write out here, if you wanna know just ask me.


this week should be very free liao. gotta enjoy before jan starts.
not that i can enjoy much. at most go town walk walk and drool over nice stuff.
window shopping literally.

gonna go cut hair tml.
woots.
machiam like weeds.


THANKS HEL FOR YOUR EARLY XMAS PRESENT!!!
I LOVE ITTTT.
hahahahah.

ok lah, you protect yourself ah.
or not buy electric bra or those electric stick.
HAHAHAHA.
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

fate, accept it.

fate. cannot be forced upon someone for acceptance.
doesn't work this way.



be careful when you drive, ok?
it's the rainy season, and it's dangerous.
:)


christmas, and i wonder how am i going to be spending it.
new year, and i wonder too.


somehow it sucks when you are stumped about who to ask out on days like these.
A? oh cannot, got boyfriend.
b? cannot also, got girlfriend.
c? nahz, out of singapore for hols.
d? don't think so, got own group of friends.
e? with family.

and the list goes on.
-shrugs-


guess i'll have to have sex with the TV eh, frisky abs? -grins-



parents.
teenage angst and complains, don't we all know.
somehow, i've had enough, and enough means not even wanting to bother about talking about it.
so i guess the more i don't wanna talk about it, the worse the situation becomes right? HA.
so be it then.


money. still in the pits for financial matters.
very very desperate. waiting for that pay to appear. sometimes i wish i was born and raised in a different environment. just sometimes.
maybe this is just to hone my independence and grit.
i shall fight on.

waiting for jan's first two weeks to see the other 3 girls for work again. HAHAHA. i foresee fun fun fun.
and more sex talk. LOL.


today was dental appointment. more pain and throbbing. more pink.
one step at a time, i will achieve that smile. =)
buddy couldn't meet me. work.
so i bought cup noodles at 7-11 and sat there to eat. fucking sad scene ok.
can go make mtv liao.
rainy day, eat tomyum noodles, alone.
oh wells, i guess being alone can make you think more and makes you calmer too.
went all the way back to clementi to get 2 books to read so that my brain doesn't degenerate that fast.
so, a sad rainy lonely day indeed.
classic.
and i get so pissed when pple splash water on me when they walk, like intentionally.
it's as annoying as people waving their hands by their sides, flinging water off their hands after washing them--in the toilet.
really, i could slap them. BEFORE I WASH MINE. HAHAHAHA.



------------

yesterday night, i drowned in my tears and my pillow.
the pain came from inside, radiating outwards, then attacking me from the outside.
i couldn't stop.
it couldn't stop.
i forgot when i fell asleep.
i forgot why.



one day, just that one day, i might be able to walk out of your shadows completely.
and look at my shadow;
smile from within.

snow globe desires;

-----


starring zee hao as cmi angel.




this, in my opinion is hilarious. don't blame me for posting it up, cos' you voluntarily(and impulsively) pushed your face so far front. -grins-

---------
i wonder if there are any flyers jobs around with reasonable pay. i wouldn't mind doing another stint of california. LOL.

-shrugs-

any fairs want balloon givers?
geez. finding a decent job on your down in this fucking saturated market sucks.


christmas makes me yearn for so many pretty things. but this christmas, i just gotta be contented. and work extra hard. because as you grow older, things just don't seem so pretty anymore.

how many lives does a silly bird has?

because i almost got knocked down by a car again today while crossing the road.
and yes, i was in the RIGHT cos' the green man was TOTALLY IN SIGHT.

fuck that driver.
he grazed my knee just that bit, before i jumped back in shock away from that bumper of his.
fuckfuckfuck.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE LIKE THIS?

forget it.
things happen for a reason.
maybe that was just to test whether my fucking heart is still beating normally.

-shrugs-

be strong squeak. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! have just that little bit of faith, have knowledge that people around you care for you, and things will go by just a tad bit easier than if you were to do it alone. destiny never lies. courage braves us through the bloodiest battles; the battles of our heart.


yes, i still do need money.
working everyday except on sunday for the first 2 weeks of jan. for that $600plus bucks. should be worth it. doing something new at least. heh.
tuitioning still.

it's just another routine.


i wish i could appreciate kindness better.
i wish i could be more appreciative.

i wish i can see the bigger world out there, instead of being trapped by myself.
my own doings.



this christmas, is going to be like the past christmas-es.
how bloody coincidental.

arguing a lost cause;

i've learnt something from a show recently:

arguing with yourself, telling yourself something isn't true...might actually make it seem convincing enough to seem not true to you in the end.

it works--but not for _____.

hah. the cruel truth of it all.

maybe all along i've been arguing a lost cause.
it's all about practised lies.
sooner or later, that glass ball breaks. that perfect world crumples.
nothing stays the same. nothing is in a piece wholly ever.
maybe that's why i don't feel the same.


i need to break out of this.
trying so hard, fighting so hard.
is it going to work? or am i simply better off succumbing to fate's intentions?
i cannot lose this faith.

i need to recollect my soul. recollect my mind.

these lies will never work out. lies about ____ never do.


i want a snow globe for my christmas this year.
plays sweet melodious tunes when wound up, with a snowman in it.
because my first love was mr. snowy.



don't keep asking me why i look so sad.
don't ask me questions i cannot answer.
not now.
i feel blessed with friends who love me, protect me, and guide me.
yet i feel isolation in my world, filled with love, but hardly penetrating me.
it's...almost weird.
it's as if i wanted to push everyone, everything away, protect myself--or so-called to protect myself. from the unpredictable. from the uncertainty. from the future.

i don't want to, but i cannot help it.

maybe i should start lying.
can i live in the world of lies which i've created for myself?

pictures up next time.



i'm gonna have to lie, to face you again.

old emotions.

wednesday, thursday and friday were hockey chalet days. went there later cos' of tuition. wanyi was really nice to send me to boon lay mrt station in her cute van while we chatted about random things. she's so agreeable(this sounds so mansfield park classic style) that i really enjoyed her company. -smiles-

and from there samsam was nicer to pick me up and send me to pasir ris mrt station without a single complain. tsktsk. i'm blessed indeed. -grins- and so, chatted somemore. happy ah~

met them there and headed for suppperrrr!! geez. the backseat was FREAKING squashed can. my butt took like 1/4 of ONE seat. there were THREE seats, and yarn and fangz occupied like TWO of them, while paula and i had to take turns getting comfy on our pathetic ONE seat. tsktsk. but it was damn hilarious lah.

drinking began. was really tired tobegin with. so got high abit then KOed. hungover the next morning like madddd. fuck. i hate it when the alcohol takes fucking long to get outta my bloodstream.

well, it's FATS-SOLUBLE afterall. HAHAHAHA.



so everything became a blur. even forgot that i slpt under turk's butt that night. gross.

but all was good by 2pm. puked uncountable times. i think the toilet bowl is my best friend. it's fucking funny to recall the crazy times during chalet. can't stop laughing. TOV. clogged sinks. ex-pukes. vomit blanket. pole dance. so much. can't be bothered to write everything.

i'll post more pics in the next entry plus more updates on happenings recently. blogger is not responding to my uploads somehow.

hues.

the sunset captured at udon thani.
pretty.
innocence and simplicity.
that village life.


if nothing goes wrong, i should be going to chalet tonight, and be back on friday morning.
so pissed with my father. and mother.
the more you oppose my thoughts and actions, the more i want to do it.
don't you ever get it?
people do grow up and grow old. by showing that you'll never trust me, i can't even be bothered to earn that trust. you simply make me detest u more. detest this home. what kind of parents do i have? what kind of daughter am i? i'm tired of this shit man. so what if i'm not doing what a good daughter should be doing? you made me not want to care about anything regarding family. you make me hate coming home.

it's...not even called a home anymore.
how often do you see parents getting mad over slightest things?
i wish i had your parents.
i wish i could soar and fly.
give me a little more freedom without nagging so much.
the more you give, maybe the more i won't want it.
it's the tension of opposites.

my friends are not fucking hooligans or bad company.
i'm so sick of you accusing my friends.
so what if they do go home later and have more fun than others? it just doesn't justify that.
so what if i like people like them? are you afraid i'll become like them? afraid you cannot control me? i'm a fucking 19 year old man.
generation gap.
maybe because i can never be like them?
everything i do, there's this reign over me.
i'm struggling so hard to break free.
the contempt is growing.

i'm only young once. i just wanna have fun.
can't i?

i need a fucking job.
fucking desperate for money.
go rob some ulu supermarket like sucre?
HAHAHAH.
just enough to get pass xmas eh, abs?

geez.
desperation.
salvation.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?


and there are unwanted attention.
unwanted invites.
yet i cannot decline.
feels wrong to. niceness of them maybe?
why do i keep thinking they have ulterior motives?
why are you so nice to me?

eat me alive.

eat me alive;
pain-



what's lost is lost.
broken will remain broken.
damaged.
you can't tell me heal, cos' it doesnt happen this way.


"time better fucking heal me."

"shit happens in life."



i've been out almost everyday since school ended.
very bad.
lol, like a bird let loose(how apt, bird).


out with monz, paula and yarn today. ate the stupid ramen that made our lips deformed, made paula GIDDY with blocked ears, made weiyan drink from an empty cup, and that stupid monz haolian-ing all the way about how she finish her bowl and it was "no-kick".

grrrr.

i perservered. hahahaha. i finished ok!
abeit among tears and alot water.

going for chalet on wednesday! hockey peeps!!!

exciting. i foresee booze and fun and high and getting drunk and passing out.
LOL.

but i also see money flying away.
knn.


i've found a new korean drama to watch on youtube. my girl!!! hahahaha. freaking hilarious.




oh wells,
find me a hiding place.
find me neverland.

kill me.

somehow it's just so difficult once i have that spare time.
i don't want to think.


christmas is almost here.
the flashing blinking lights.
pretty and sparkling decorations.
i wish singapore would snow.
then it would coincide with my heart.

it's hard to tell how i feel sometimes.
warm and cool.
hot and cold.
steaming and freezing.


it's much better not to feel.


heard some good news today at the centre.
heh. =)
apparently that cute p1 kid i've been teaching wants me to teach him again next yr.
-grins-
and both the parents and him wants that!
yayity!
finally im of some good use.
principal and vice are happy about that. lol. they say the students like me.
which is of cos' good news.
i guess i should be glad i have a job.


oh well, meow, i think i should be getting that sweater soon! =D
and yes, i love you. but you must love me too.
hahahah.

i've got my blackies. finally wenta get a bottle of basecoat cos' that bottle of black nail polish is collecting dust at home. got my sista to help me with it! woots! FOC. can save $8. phew.

now my hands have higher aesthestic value.
hahahah.


ate dinner with my parents after tuitioning half the day away. hmmmm.
didn't get to meet the ocip peeps. =(
i hope there'll be another outing soon man.
sighhh.

more more meet ups with more more people i miss badly!


it's exercise, tan and shopping with monz tml! I CANNOT WAIT I SWEAR.
it's been agesssss since i saw her.
geez, even if she's my curse.
hahahahah.

give me snow.
give me love.
give me the night.
give me stars.
give me moon river.
give me lavender.
fairytale in paris.

side effects.

it's when things like that-
pop into your mind.
catches u offguard for that moment, that second.
pain. loss. you start to think what went wrong.
before you catch yourself and tell yourself to stop.


subconscious mind was released momentarily.


tuition resumes tml. fucking tired man. but money, yea, that's important too. december. work month, before school starts in jan. grrrr. need to make up for that one month loss of income. before i die when my bank account shows $0 left. knn.

INDEPENDENCE SUCKS SOMETIMES.
it's just the stupid fucking pride.


so-
ugc can die liao. predicted another half wrong. HAHAHAHA. i do until damn sian ok. cos' alot i didn't understand. HECK.

went out watched movie with beng and squeak and niao and meowpig. HEL GO M'SIA WHY NV TELL ME!!! grrr.

anyway, open season is DAMN LAME. cmi. HAHAHAHAH.

walked around town for a bit. felt like i was released from some ulu civilisation where people slept an average of 4 hours a day and faced words every single moment you are awake. or well, a computer screen for most. heh. RELEASE! i've attained satori(without hearing any bamboo striking). i'm glad. i wouldn't have lasted any longer. it's amazing how much exams put you through, and how much you can ACTUALLY take without collapsing.

thank god for chicken essence. :)

won't do well for finals, but it's only me to blame. hopefully a above 3.5 GPA? -grimace-

and I WANT MONEY. I WANT TO SHOP. knn!!!! why so many things so attractive. I WANT NEW STUFF. freak.

it's time to work my guts out.
but first, who got lobang?!
i've decided that december is going to be a month of experiencing. various jobs would be nice. i just wanna try out more new stuff. heh.



christmas has always been a lonely season.
love me-
will you?

almost there.

i'm almost free.
one more day.

and i can sleep in peace.
fuck it.
sleep also dream that i am studying.
how sick is that man. grrrrrr.

it's so bad im pimples-ridden and fats are growing all over.
and -sobs- im paling so fast i think i can be a vampire.

i need back that jelly spirit!
although work resumes right after exams. =(

but still, my jelly brains need a rest.
and i need to find back that smile of mine.
i love everyone!
woots!
i think i even love africans.
going to tour them now. for the first time.
sigh.

i need a shitload of miracles to happen on me.
but for now, i think i'll make do.

and i need a freaking good tan with exercise.
fuck.
my legs are deformed.
it's not that i don't wanna wear skirts.
it's cos' my legs are.....fugly.


HA.
i almost died this morning. slpt at 4am, woke at 7am. studied and fell asleep consequently on the sofa. revived when my mama came outta her room to prepare breakfast.

my com101 is soooooo fucking-dead.
my psycho is another piece of hantum-shit.
HAHAHAHA.
i did study, REALLY!
i tried my best.
oh wells, we'll see how the results turn out i guess.
pretty outta my control.
maybe i should start believing in some mystery religion...
hahahahah.

maybe all i need is you, you you!

i cannot wait for all that fun with all that people.
one day!
wait for me guys!!! =)

i miss you.

-----------------------------------

5:12am and abby and i are talking about panda sex...and dog sex....linking to someone VERY influential. HA.

i'm suffering from Axis II disorders. mental retardation.

and i am craving for freedom from words. my semester break is gonna be unbelievably SHORT. knn. forget it man.
i hope i can cramp some travelling in december amidst the chalets and birthdays.
and shopping. and christmas!

the painful irony.
HA.
if only people knew.


i do miss old days. so so so badly.

if only you could come whisk me away for breakfast.
lonely hearts.

and i could only feel the cold hard tiles beneath my feet.
shivering in the ghostly night;
seeking comfort from space;
finding paths from stars.
staring at an illuminated screen for momentraily solace and comfort.

i remember the day you said you love me,
then you broke me;
destroyed.
here you stand before your artwork.
in its full magnificence.

panic at home.

i see people with msn nicks signifying their mugging status, and i panic.

like A LOT.
A-FUCKING-LOT.

knn.

I CANNOT FREAKING GET ANYTHING INSIDE.

com101 is tmd hard to study in theory. fuckfuckfuck.

no mcq. i think i'm going to die.

and sleep is invading my brain.

keep awake teo jielin.
KEEP AWAKE!
even though you cannot tolerate studying at all, at least don't screw up your finals!
grrrrrrrrrrr.

try my best.
that's the least i can do.

i'm going to jump.

all's fine with buddies.

Let me in to see you in the morning light
To get me on and all along the tears they come
See all come, I want you to believe in life
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
And when you find out who you are its too late to change

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time
Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time, sometimes

Lift me up, just lift me up dont make a sound
Let me hold you up before you hit the ground
See all come, you say your alright
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away, you've gone away
And when you find out who you are too late to change

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time
Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, every thing you wanted, all the time
Don't give me up
Don't give me up tonight
Soon nothing will be right at all, salvation
Cause when you find out who you are too late to change
Too late to change

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time
Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted every little you wanted all the time
This time, every little thing you wanted all the time, oh
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away

Every little thing--Dishwalla
------

another introduction. dishwalla this time! i really like this style..soothes my frazied nerves. grrr.

=) and i've got a "jielin" song lah. amazed. LOL.

all's fine between buddies. i asked him for the truth. hmmmm. i believe his answer. maybe i shouldn't have doubted him in the first place? i don't know..never trust too much you know. -shrugs-

rumours. they'll kill. gossips too. sigh.

stay true to yourself, that's important. and i shouldn't have gotten so mad with him without clarifying. immediate reaction to hurt and betrayal?

ha. platonic friendship is possible man.

i'm clear what i want. and i want nothing more than this.

=)

it's a natural reflex to grin at the computer screen.