with children la! im in love with children!!! hahaha..they are like super DUPER cute!!! :D heh. today had training at delta..hmmm, quite ok la..more of keeping in touch with our nerves and pressure of the on-coming match on wednesday against rjc. yupx. fight fight fight saints hockey. we rock, we rule, we are fighters! I HEART SAINTS HOCKEY!!! hahaha..i left early cos i had to rush to tanah merah for the cip at salvation army. yups. took the train there to meet syaf cos she also late..hmmm..then the train ride was like super long..hahah..but ok la..cos quite spacious, nv kenna sqeezed. played hp game all the way, so time seemed to flew past. hee. ehhh..reached liao. then i found out tt stella and amy also meeting us to go. yun ma, seo hoon and jee cheng already reached. yups. then waited for the two of them la. sianz. fast forward to the bus run. got off the bus at the salvation army place there lo..at changi close by..hmmm..den walked in. man families going in also..hahha..the children were all like damn cute. made me veh veh excited..hahah!
reached le..then saw yun ma they all writing the names on the sticker tabs la. then giving out to the ppl who just came to register..the one thing tt is veh impt and new to me is tt these children were all accompanied by their mothers only, cos their fathers were all serving time in prison..yea..they werent like any other normal child with two full-time parents by their sides..but tt din make me any more hostile or change my attitude towards them. cos i really din think of them tt way anyway. and i just wanted to make these children smile and be really happy. they had nothing to do with this, and they shldbt be embroiled into complicated matters. just wanted them to enjoy their childhood while they can and also learn to forgive and forget the past mistakes of their fathers..
the children were split up into 4 groups--strawberry, choc1, choc 2 and choc 3. hahaha..nice riteee...cos there was 8 of us there, and serena was super late, she din come even after we started to facilitate the actitvities..ya..the rest better la..=) hmmm..yeas, anyway the kids were liek super cute la..active and cheery and noisy..hahah..me and syaf took choc1. we wanted strawberry one. then that syaf la..gan chiong..pull me to the wrong room. lol. then we stayed there throughout..there were these two clowns..hahaha..made balloons for those kids there..they were ard k2 to p1 age la..=) yea..balloon sculpting lo..then all the children were like screaming for balloons. and the poor clowns had to make alot alot of them..hahah..(since some kids had more than one..some even had 5 balloons!!!) heh..they were veh noisy la..then most of the guys shouted for swords..the girls even, and after they got their swords, they ran ard "killing" each other..damn cute. :D reminds me of my younger days. wahahahha!
talked to some kids..cos some werent as active and boisterous as the rest..yups, so i paid special attention to those who were left in a corner and veh quiet kind..persuaded to join in the other kids..and im glad i did, cos after i did, and pulled them into the group of noisy kids, they started playing too, and i can tell they enjoyed themselves..=) still can rmb alot of their names..hahah..they really cute..once u get to noe these kids they really rely alot on u and very willing to play with u..i think im in love with them..
there was this girl called mei xiang. huge eyes. very shy and quiet. she held back when all the kids were rushing for balloons. so i approached her and talk to her lo..told her if she wan balloon must tell kor kor(which is the clown la) then he'll make for her..asked her wad she wants..hahaha..yea..then eventually she got wad she wanted!!! A PINK FLOWER!!! :) then there was this boy who was the first boy i approached. his name is glendon. very gameboy freak can tell. hahaha..he was telling me abt his pokemon games and toys..he got a yellow sword under my persuasion also..=D then this girl bonnie. had 3 balloons la!! hahaha..she approached me cos she wanted to write on the whiteboard and asked me to hold onto her balloons. heh..cute. but she quite violent sia. kept hitting me with her balloons, and me without any, was left very very vulnerable. hahaha..then this indian boy called suri i think. quite plump but cute all the while. he kept making irritating noises with his red sword balloon. those veh shrill sqeaky sound tt irritated many. so i called him over and told him not to do tt if not i'll confiscate his sword. hahaha..made him gou gou shou with me and promise tt he wun..AND HE DIDNT!!! arent i a great teacher..hahaha..then his guy lestor ah. veh cute..his sword the handle slant to one side, asked me to pull it back for him..then i told him liddat also veh cool, cos can double as sword and gun, called sword-gun. hahaha! lame rite, but he believed me la..den was quite pleased with his new weapon. heh. sharilah was another shy and quiet girl yet veh pleasant. :) played with her and talked to her also...hmmm hui zhen and charmaine were the last two kids i got to know before their mothers came to claim them and the buffet dinner..hmmm..they also veh active la..kept killing me with their swords..only hui zhen had a blue poodle and kept using its tail to kill me. lol. i told her dogs dun kills. and gave her a sword-lookalike to stand in for the dog. so she gave me her dog. :D and they kept killing me after tt. persuaded them to kill syaf instead but they dunwan. hahahah..lucky their parents came and they went to their sides.:P still got alot more..can still rmb their names, but too much to talk abt here la..mans, these kids are the highlight of my day la..cant believe how much happiness they bring to me..their innocence and simple pleasures really make me re-evaluate my life and things tt i shld treasure. :)
i rmb one girl at the end of the whole thing, when the mothers came into the room to pick up their kids, she asked me.."where is my papa...?". that question stunned me. i cldnt answer. so i told her (tryin to be calm) to find her mama instead. yea..and she ran off..suddenly..it just dawned on me tt these kids din haf a father accompanying them in their childhood. are their fathers really repentant now? is family one of the most impt things they treasure? will the child grow up to hate or forgive his/her father? is acceptance and forgiveness really such an easy virtue to be learnt? are we treasuring our loved ones right now? or are we simply taking them for granted?
many many questions. yet no answers for now. yea..going to have another class cip on 27 and 28 may. yups. also same organisation and same kids..=) hope they'll rmb me!!! hahaha..this time going to haf more serious stuffs. we are going to organise two workshops and one telematch. yeas.!!! cant wait la. hee. and 19th june got tsa flag day ah. think i going. though i dunnid the cip hrs. but just wanna do it la..i love meaningful cips!! :)
tts all for now folks. hahaha..long long entry..but a definitely fulfilling day! finally a day spent without wastage! +) love those kids.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Friday, April 29, 2005
dun give up.
i just wanna say that a small failure does not mean everything. nothing is guaranteed on the pitch. one team may have the skills and physicality to win a match. yet without some amount of luck, they might lose also. the point is, nothing is confirmed. dun be disheartened and discouraged by a moment of failure, instead, work harder, fight harder. i am proud of u guys cos' it is apparent the amount of hard work we all put in. saints hockey simply rock my world in such an amount tt i cant describe in words. hahaha. :) dun give up ok!!! fight on! AWESOME!!! :)
the guys lost their match against acjc 3-2. i cldnt go to watch it..sigh..got some dumb ass external validation which i din speak much at all..then had to stay for the entire sports day which i cldnt participate at all. felt super sucky la. super sian diao. u noe how it feels to be excluded from something u desperately wnat to join? yeas. tt kinda feeling la. and i was like super preoccupied abt the guys match. haix. in the end only cld leave after the entire thing. was perspiring like shit mans. my entire blouse was like soaked. like tt day at ccab cheering for the guys against ajc match. wahs. cant stand it. super smelly. took bus to go delta la. but the bus was so freaking slow cos of traffic then i changed at qway mrt to take train to redhill then had to walk all teh way form station to the stadium. super long la, then my bag like super heavy la. walking on the way there met several guys. first was raymond la..told him to cheer up and smile..he looked suite surprised i'll actually talk to him..but he smiled and said bye...heh..then saw louis also..told him the same thing..then got another grp of guys..then got anthony, yuan shen..yeas..
hmmm..the guys must have been quite upset..and the first para of the entry was dedicated to them..want to tell them tt as long as we fought our hardest, we are champions no matter the results yea? hahaha..so anyway paula and gang were gossipping when i came la, then starting talkin alot shit which i cant reveal here. got embroiled into their conversation. heh. shHhh. yups. but quite funny la. went for dinner. which was equally enjoyable.
actually alot things happened today and yest nite. yeas. but i choose not to think abt unhappy stuff. nothing much i can do abt it also. so why make myself miserable? hmmms. oh ya. i think the ocip speech went quite well for the j1s. hmmm. din practise at all till tt particular morning la! oh mans. :X but lucky quite ok din screw up. duno wad the j1s think of it though. hmmm.
tml got training. heh. hope it'll be a productive one. and oh, got cip after tt. going to help out in the salvation army yeas. help take care of children. so exciting! :) hope it'll be veh fun also!!!
hahahha..sighs. u noe sumthing happened today. it actually made me waver abt my initial decision. i just hate it when wrong signals are sent out to me. its like..i dunno how to say also la..but, just tt wadeva happened today really made me stop to think. and perhaps think too much for my own good. it was just a simple stare. he was going up the stairs and me down. we walked past each other. i glanced at him. he stared at me. as in really stare la. i thot he like had something to tell me. or perhaps he thot i had something to tell him. *shrugs* but we din talk la. not surprising eh? hahha. sighs. i dunno mans. dun wan think so much le. i shld just stick to wad i resolved. im strong. i am. :)
love the hockey peeps. :D
the guys lost their match against acjc 3-2. i cldnt go to watch it..sigh..got some dumb ass external validation which i din speak much at all..then had to stay for the entire sports day which i cldnt participate at all. felt super sucky la. super sian diao. u noe how it feels to be excluded from something u desperately wnat to join? yeas. tt kinda feeling la. and i was like super preoccupied abt the guys match. haix. in the end only cld leave after the entire thing. was perspiring like shit mans. my entire blouse was like soaked. like tt day at ccab cheering for the guys against ajc match. wahs. cant stand it. super smelly. took bus to go delta la. but the bus was so freaking slow cos of traffic then i changed at qway mrt to take train to redhill then had to walk all teh way form station to the stadium. super long la, then my bag like super heavy la. walking on the way there met several guys. first was raymond la..told him to cheer up and smile..he looked suite surprised i'll actually talk to him..but he smiled and said bye...heh..then saw louis also..told him the same thing..then got another grp of guys..then got anthony, yuan shen..yeas..
hmmm..the guys must have been quite upset..and the first para of the entry was dedicated to them..want to tell them tt as long as we fought our hardest, we are champions no matter the results yea? hahaha..so anyway paula and gang were gossipping when i came la, then starting talkin alot shit which i cant reveal here. got embroiled into their conversation. heh. shHhh. yups. but quite funny la. went for dinner. which was equally enjoyable.
actually alot things happened today and yest nite. yeas. but i choose not to think abt unhappy stuff. nothing much i can do abt it also. so why make myself miserable? hmmms. oh ya. i think the ocip speech went quite well for the j1s. hmmm. din practise at all till tt particular morning la! oh mans. :X but lucky quite ok din screw up. duno wad the j1s think of it though. hmmm.
tml got training. heh. hope it'll be a productive one. and oh, got cip after tt. going to help out in the salvation army yeas. help take care of children. so exciting! :) hope it'll be veh fun also!!!
hahahha..sighs. u noe sumthing happened today. it actually made me waver abt my initial decision. i just hate it when wrong signals are sent out to me. its like..i dunno how to say also la..but, just tt wadeva happened today really made me stop to think. and perhaps think too much for my own good. it was just a simple stare. he was going up the stairs and me down. we walked past each other. i glanced at him. he stared at me. as in really stare la. i thot he like had something to tell me. or perhaps he thot i had something to tell him. *shrugs* but we din talk la. not surprising eh? hahha. sighs. i dunno mans. dun wan think so much le. i shld just stick to wad i resolved. im strong. i am. :)
love the hockey peeps. :D
Thursday, April 28, 2005
achy.
hahaha..sheesh. today training did pt..did with one of my love meiping. LOL. heh, can u like believe it??! i recently then found out that she is like one day older than me..then plus we are so alike la..mans. :P june babies simply rock la. cant stand it. hehe.
yea, the pt was ok la. but now my knee is all achy and painful again. heh. alwaes liddat one..lucky got one day to rest before the next training on saturday. sighs. now cant stop thinkin abt the sports day tml. how i wish i cld run for the class relay. i KNOW i can do it la. i mean i bet i'll be faster than last year. i really know i can one. sighs. im like damn sad la. since last year i've looked forward to this day mans. then i realised the guys also got match on tt day, then guess supporting more impt? yeas..then plus got the dumb dumb external validation thingy. GrRrrRrr! total waste of time!!! hmM~ but i guess i'll be supporting the guys for their ACJC vs SAJC match lo. yups. though it means i'll hafta like give up my spot for someone else. sobs. =( but hope we'll do well la. can one, just fight it out mans. im really confident we'll get thru the first heats, cos to what i see, the pple (esp j1s) who were practising are quite slow. :X sHhhh.
okaes, hahaha..dunno what to say le. oh ya. tml got the ocip speech to the j1s la. mans. i haben touch my script in god knows how long. think i'll screw up tml. super nervous. heh. though i think i'll overcome it la..hmmm..hope i'll give a gd speech la, dunwan make a fool outta myself. hope the j1s wun like fall aslp also..hahahah. tml the others wun be there also, only me, thomas, shih jie and jieru lo. *shivErs* heh.
hmmm.gotta go do my stupid geog tut again. sighs. wish me loads of lucks. (plus lucks for ponning sports day tml and not getting caught, and also lucks for everything laaaaa) :P
i think im like really independent. whoOpieEe..(dunno why i suddenly say tt also), but just wanna say i'll be strong!!! YES!!!! :D
yea, the pt was ok la. but now my knee is all achy and painful again. heh. alwaes liddat one..lucky got one day to rest before the next training on saturday. sighs. now cant stop thinkin abt the sports day tml. how i wish i cld run for the class relay. i KNOW i can do it la. i mean i bet i'll be faster than last year. i really know i can one. sighs. im like damn sad la. since last year i've looked forward to this day mans. then i realised the guys also got match on tt day, then guess supporting more impt? yeas..then plus got the dumb dumb external validation thingy. GrRrrRrr! total waste of time!!! hmM~ but i guess i'll be supporting the guys for their ACJC vs SAJC match lo. yups. though it means i'll hafta like give up my spot for someone else. sobs. =( but hope we'll do well la. can one, just fight it out mans. im really confident we'll get thru the first heats, cos to what i see, the pple (esp j1s) who were practising are quite slow. :X sHhhh.
okaes, hahaha..dunno what to say le. oh ya. tml got the ocip speech to the j1s la. mans. i haben touch my script in god knows how long. think i'll screw up tml. super nervous. heh. though i think i'll overcome it la..hmmm..hope i'll give a gd speech la, dunwan make a fool outta myself. hope the j1s wun like fall aslp also..hahahah. tml the others wun be there also, only me, thomas, shih jie and jieru lo. *shivErs* heh.
hmmm.gotta go do my stupid geog tut again. sighs. wish me loads of lucks. (plus lucks for ponning sports day tml and not getting caught, and also lucks for everything laaaaa) :P
i think im like really independent. whoOpieEe..(dunno why i suddenly say tt also), but just wanna say i'll be strong!!! YES!!!! :D
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
guys hockey.
hahahah..im like totally in love with the guys hockey. they played a great game today and im very proud of them. their hard work has certainly paid of very well so far. the second match of their season, they've won it. 2-0. vs ajc. now now, ajc is outta our grouping stage for both guys and girls! yays!! hahaha..well done guys. i think u all did a fantastic job. working as a team, fighting as a team. and us girls haf screamed our lungs out for u guys too! :P u all rock!!! woO~ hope best fren not to affected by what happened today. yeas..i know he is a strong guy..dun think he wld talk to me abt it also..but just hope he's happier la..U CAN DO IT!!! =D
hmm~freaking hot. i was perspiring like hell since i left school. lol. can u like believe it???! WE LOST THE BUS. hahahha. we were abit late la. then the guys left without us. sobs man. and that's lke not the end la. paula who was carrying the ice box apparently had some mishap. hahaha. the lid she was holding onto fell. so yea, basically half the amount of ice fell out. super unglam. lol..hahaha..but ok la, me, paula, meiping, tracy and weiyan took boss's car to ccab la. then on the way saw the guys' bus. hahahah..they all looked very solemn. heh. hmm~ the car ride was super squeezy la. lol. and super hot. the aircon like no use one. very very squeezed and then keep perspiring. hahaha..reached ccab liao wenta SMU to buy ice la. supposedly at the cafe, but they drinks stall pple refused to sell us ice. gRrr. so anything lo. we bought 4 cans of drinks and they gave us 4 cups of ice. not bad la. the ice melted very fast. and me and tracy wenta fill up the whole ice box with water from the cooler lo. yea, saw VJC against TJC ah. or issit TPJC. forgot. got trashed man them, vjc like won 10-0. hope this kinda things to happen to saints hockey!!! :X FIGHT HARD!!!
hmmm..ok la. damn hot now. just reached home from ccab. met ck at the clementi bus stop. talked abit to him abt the comp. and season lo. table tennis girls did quite well la. now confirm 4th already, is see whether they can make it past 4th not. hmmm..yeas..hockey must chuang chu xin tian di also!!! :P heh..oh ya, haben buy alot bdae prexxies.hmmmmmmmmm. :P
gotta go pom pom now. later gotta start rehearsing the dumbo gp ppt. dunno still haf for wad. so lame. ok. then do abit maths la. if not faizal will be so disappointed in me. *shrugs* im getting over him easier than i thought! hahahha!! dunno is it gd or bad. but nvm la. aiyer. laters!
hmm~freaking hot. i was perspiring like hell since i left school. lol. can u like believe it???! WE LOST THE BUS. hahahha. we were abit late la. then the guys left without us. sobs man. and that's lke not the end la. paula who was carrying the ice box apparently had some mishap. hahaha. the lid she was holding onto fell. so yea, basically half the amount of ice fell out. super unglam. lol..hahaha..but ok la, me, paula, meiping, tracy and weiyan took boss's car to ccab la. then on the way saw the guys' bus. hahahah..they all looked very solemn. heh. hmm~ the car ride was super squeezy la. lol. and super hot. the aircon like no use one. very very squeezed and then keep perspiring. hahaha..reached ccab liao wenta SMU to buy ice la. supposedly at the cafe, but they drinks stall pple refused to sell us ice. gRrr. so anything lo. we bought 4 cans of drinks and they gave us 4 cups of ice. not bad la. the ice melted very fast. and me and tracy wenta fill up the whole ice box with water from the cooler lo. yea, saw VJC against TJC ah. or issit TPJC. forgot. got trashed man them, vjc like won 10-0. hope this kinda things to happen to saints hockey!!! :X FIGHT HARD!!!
hmmm..ok la. damn hot now. just reached home from ccab. met ck at the clementi bus stop. talked abit to him abt the comp. and season lo. table tennis girls did quite well la. now confirm 4th already, is see whether they can make it past 4th not. hmmm..yeas..hockey must chuang chu xin tian di also!!! :P heh..oh ya, haben buy alot bdae prexxies.hmmmmmmmmm. :P
gotta go pom pom now. later gotta start rehearsing the dumbo gp ppt. dunno still haf for wad. so lame. ok. then do abit maths la. if not faizal will be so disappointed in me. *shrugs* im getting over him easier than i thought! hahahha!! dunno is it gd or bad. but nvm la. aiyer. laters!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
won.
hahaha! we won ajc 1-0!!!! :) GREAT JOB GUYS!!! hahaha..i think we did very well today for the first match, put up a damn gd fight! super proud of u guys man..even from the sidelines as we were cheering our lungs out, we cld see ur urgency and the hunger for the balls! defence rocked!!! :) mid fielders rocked! forwards rocked! SAJC hockey girls rocked!!! :D love u guys to beets. now tt AJC is down, we are up to fight RJC OK!!!!! DOWN RJC!!! yes! we can do it..rmb, one step at a time!!
hmm~ yea..today din get to play la..but seriously felt overwhlemed with joy after the victory. the last whistle din ever sound so gd to my ears..hahaha..i guess this is something team sports instils in you yea? the most impt is the team..not one, not individual! yes!! go go go saints hockey!! tml guys playing. gonna go support again!!! YAYS! JIAYOU!!!
ok la..also dunno wad to say le..wells. bye.
oh ya, wanna thank those who have given me great support for today's match..hahah..sorry tt u guys came down to support me but i din play! din noe u guys will actually come la..hahaha..keep tellin u all not to liao..hee..thanks darling for ur encouraging card and the band..think its my gd luck band ya? made me veh happy today..hmmm..thanks to yun ma for ur ultra huge pen..thanks to zihao, syaf, ziwan, ling xiang, alex, thomas, shih jie, aiya, almost everyone for their gd luck wishes for saints hockey! YAY WE ROCK! :) super touched..heh..promise to fight my heart out if i have the chance to play yea? will play my best..thanks for ur constant encouraging friends..love ya all! :)
hmm~ yea..today din get to play la..but seriously felt overwhlemed with joy after the victory. the last whistle din ever sound so gd to my ears..hahaha..i guess this is something team sports instils in you yea? the most impt is the team..not one, not individual! yes!! go go go saints hockey!! tml guys playing. gonna go support again!!! YAYS! JIAYOU!!!
ok la..also dunno wad to say le..wells. bye.
oh ya, wanna thank those who have given me great support for today's match..hahah..sorry tt u guys came down to support me but i din play! din noe u guys will actually come la..hahaha..keep tellin u all not to liao..hee..thanks darling for ur encouraging card and the band..think its my gd luck band ya? made me veh happy today..hmmm..thanks to yun ma for ur ultra huge pen..thanks to zihao, syaf, ziwan, ling xiang, alex, thomas, shih jie, aiya, almost everyone for their gd luck wishes for saints hockey! YAY WE ROCK! :) super touched..heh..promise to fight my heart out if i have the chance to play yea? will play my best..thanks for ur constant encouraging friends..love ya all! :)
woO hoO!
hahaha..saints hockey rock man! :D the guy won MI 2-0. one goal scored from a free hit. deepan took the free hit and lawrence converted in to a goal!!! DEFLECTION!!! hahaha..it was like DAMN NICE LA. ok, i think i cant express how nice it was unless u were really there to see that. :P the second goal was by keane(is tt how u spell his name?). damn nice also..hahha..a simple push la, but it was a push tt really meant alot mans..drew the score further apart..:) nice game guys!! nice game brothers! cheered like hell for u guys..hee..great game, fight on ok!! let this be a great start for ur season!! tml is the girls' turn already, let's all fight on, fight hard! we can do it!!! YES WE CAN. one step at a time. DOWN AJ!!! hahaha..and quoting from weiyan, this is "our turn to shine". yups! :) though i may not play la tml, but i bet tt i wld be cheering non-stop for u guys on the sidelines. rmb to do ur best ok!!! there is nothing to lose!! haf faith, haf confidence. WE ROCK!!! :) *muahs*
anyway, cant believe my luck la. berd just told me online tt maths lect got take attendance for our class today. CAN U LIKE BELIEVE THAT. worse still its like for MY CLASS ONLY. apparently only 8 of them went la, so veh little ppl and veh obvious. tt dumb dumb robot wanted all of them to go down one by one to write their names so signify tt they came for the lect. shit la. im in real deep shit. but at least got 22-8 ppl tt wld tio detention along with me? *hopefully* hahaha..sucks. the only time i pon maths lect, the time i tio. this is like unbelievable. lol. hecks. to think that i walked out in front of robot today after gp lect before maths lect and smirked at her. sheesh. retribution? hahaha.
hmm, nervous man. dunno why recently cant stop having the "shitty" feeling. keep feeling like wanna shit liddat. sat woke up in the middle of the night twice to lao sai. gosh. then tt same morning after i woke up lao again. today lao during pe. then watching match tt time lao again. wonder wads wrong man. serious bowel problems. hope i wun lao like mad tml..hahah..haf prob of stomach pain when im super nervous. :P hmmm~ actually really quite stressed. tml is first game already. lol, i haf tons of hwk haben do, and way due. but i got a later deadine for maths la. then geog hecks. gonna do after i finish typing this blog. heh. and today's econs test was like shit. mans. my finger cldnt even bend, much less talk abt writing properly. hmmm..anyway i think i wld fail la. an essay i must say im not veh proud of. cld haf done better given more time. *sigh* sad. nvm, strive for better results yea? this is just a minor test, cannot repeat this for As most impt!!!
ehs..realised quite a few of the guys are veh nice..hahah..veh stupidly irritating yet amusing la..and ncie to talk to. heh. wun mention who la, but im sure glad i got to noe them better lately..yups, :). abt him, i guess im getting over him quite well. hahah..today on way back hf told me sumthing abt him. hmmm~ not surprised to find out. but anyways, the pt is tt im ok, dun worry kaes? its just a lousy crush la. lousy person at a lousy time. :P i'll be fine la. hmmm, singlehood still rocks la, no restrictions! frens rule my world!!! :D im sure there are better guys out there..hee, and love this kinda thing dun hafta go find one, what for stress myself over it. think it shld come naturally to u one..:) im really thankful for the great frens i haf now..dun ask for anything more..now i jsut gotta put my heart to hockey and my studies!! go go go jielin!! woO..
today PE i was slacking away la. the guys did their napfa today. heh..only 4 of them cos the rest did alraedy besides the soccer guys. hmmm..yea..din really follow them with their 5 stations. only started to cheer for them for their 2.4km run. heh..was super proud of them mans. all of them did a great job, even danny! i was super impressed by him. he improved alot! this only goes to show tt determination overcomes everything! :) berd must continue to jiayou and persevere..dun gif up after the 4th or 5th round yeas? tell urself u can do it. as well for darling gene, he did well running wise, but u must jiayou for ur pulls ups yea!!! go go go flex ur muscles! :P aiya, marshy bud, needless to say, damn zai la. hahaha..got gold leh! woAhs..hee..eat marshmellows also can fly sia! :P proud of ya!! muscle packed liao eh? hee.
anyway i was cheering them on la, beside mr khoo and francis who was taking the timing. then keep shouting at them to jiayou dun gif up etc. then mr khoo told me to keep shouting, cos my voice veh sweet, will encourage them to do better. LOL. i almost burst out laughing. but i was too stunned and shocked la. hahaha, when i related tt to marshy during a break, he almost vomitted out blood. so yea, tt basically speaks all ya? :X stupid idiot. hahha..and tt francis also trying to be sacarstic, tell me to use my "sugar-coated" voice to ask ppl help me do stuff..gRrr.
which reminds me. lol. today we were teasing meiping abt her booming voice. lol. then some of the guys even think tt her voice sounds like deepan!!! hahahahaha. super funny. mp is like super cute la. :P she is older by me by one day!! can u believe it? hee..and we play same postition la..coOl..no wonder we get along so well ya? hee.
now i shld start on my geog tut already. sucks. he wants full-length. think gonna type out. cant write so much la. stupid block of wood. gRRrr. but im gonna like get A for geog to piss him off. whahahahaha!! (hopefully) gone for now. tataaaa~
muacks.
anyway, cant believe my luck la. berd just told me online tt maths lect got take attendance for our class today. CAN U LIKE BELIEVE THAT. worse still its like for MY CLASS ONLY. apparently only 8 of them went la, so veh little ppl and veh obvious. tt dumb dumb robot wanted all of them to go down one by one to write their names so signify tt they came for the lect. shit la. im in real deep shit. but at least got 22-8 ppl tt wld tio detention along with me? *hopefully* hahaha..sucks. the only time i pon maths lect, the time i tio. this is like unbelievable. lol. hecks. to think that i walked out in front of robot today after gp lect before maths lect and smirked at her. sheesh. retribution? hahaha.
hmm, nervous man. dunno why recently cant stop having the "shitty" feeling. keep feeling like wanna shit liddat. sat woke up in the middle of the night twice to lao sai. gosh. then tt same morning after i woke up lao again. today lao during pe. then watching match tt time lao again. wonder wads wrong man. serious bowel problems. hope i wun lao like mad tml..hahah..haf prob of stomach pain when im super nervous. :P hmmm~ actually really quite stressed. tml is first game already. lol, i haf tons of hwk haben do, and way due. but i got a later deadine for maths la. then geog hecks. gonna do after i finish typing this blog. heh. and today's econs test was like shit. mans. my finger cldnt even bend, much less talk abt writing properly. hmmm..anyway i think i wld fail la. an essay i must say im not veh proud of. cld haf done better given more time. *sigh* sad. nvm, strive for better results yea? this is just a minor test, cannot repeat this for As most impt!!!
ehs..realised quite a few of the guys are veh nice..hahah..veh stupidly irritating yet amusing la..and ncie to talk to. heh. wun mention who la, but im sure glad i got to noe them better lately..yups, :). abt him, i guess im getting over him quite well. hahah..today on way back hf told me sumthing abt him. hmmm~ not surprised to find out. but anyways, the pt is tt im ok, dun worry kaes? its just a lousy crush la. lousy person at a lousy time. :P i'll be fine la. hmmm, singlehood still rocks la, no restrictions! frens rule my world!!! :D im sure there are better guys out there..hee, and love this kinda thing dun hafta go find one, what for stress myself over it. think it shld come naturally to u one..:) im really thankful for the great frens i haf now..dun ask for anything more..now i jsut gotta put my heart to hockey and my studies!! go go go jielin!! woO..
today PE i was slacking away la. the guys did their napfa today. heh..only 4 of them cos the rest did alraedy besides the soccer guys. hmmm..yea..din really follow them with their 5 stations. only started to cheer for them for their 2.4km run. heh..was super proud of them mans. all of them did a great job, even danny! i was super impressed by him. he improved alot! this only goes to show tt determination overcomes everything! :) berd must continue to jiayou and persevere..dun gif up after the 4th or 5th round yeas? tell urself u can do it. as well for darling gene, he did well running wise, but u must jiayou for ur pulls ups yea!!! go go go flex ur muscles! :P aiya, marshy bud, needless to say, damn zai la. hahaha..got gold leh! woAhs..hee..eat marshmellows also can fly sia! :P proud of ya!! muscle packed liao eh? hee.
anyway i was cheering them on la, beside mr khoo and francis who was taking the timing. then keep shouting at them to jiayou dun gif up etc. then mr khoo told me to keep shouting, cos my voice veh sweet, will encourage them to do better. LOL. i almost burst out laughing. but i was too stunned and shocked la. hahaha, when i related tt to marshy during a break, he almost vomitted out blood. so yea, tt basically speaks all ya? :X stupid idiot. hahha..and tt francis also trying to be sacarstic, tell me to use my "sugar-coated" voice to ask ppl help me do stuff..gRrr.
which reminds me. lol. today we were teasing meiping abt her booming voice. lol. then some of the guys even think tt her voice sounds like deepan!!! hahahahaha. super funny. mp is like super cute la. :P she is older by me by one day!! can u believe it? hee..and we play same postition la..coOl..no wonder we get along so well ya? hee.
now i shld start on my geog tut already. sucks. he wants full-length. think gonna type out. cant write so much la. stupid block of wood. gRRrr. but im gonna like get A for geog to piss him off. whahahahaha!! (hopefully) gone for now. tataaaa~
muacks.
Monday, April 25, 2005
panic-attack.
im like so worried now. suddenly thought abt my studies and everything, wondering how i'll do academically. suddenly realised how dumb i was, to hold onto my pride, my 4 subs, and now risk failing my As terribly. im super super afraid. such fear cannot be expressed out in words. i dunno how to put it either, my english ain't tt great.
suddenly i really fear. fear failing. fear not being able to go to any university of my choice. fear my future. people may tell me: fear for what. just do ur best now. but i guess my greatest problem is my slacker attitude. unwilling to work hard, unwilling to sit down and REALLY study. damn worried. damn stressed. dunno how. shit.
season starts on tues for us. tml for the guys. gonna go support them. jiayou jiayou!
monz and i were msging just now. realised somethings la..dunno mans..i think she may be right to a certain extent. i guess i really gotta give up, and put my words into action. he may have someone else in mind also..hmmm, and if really he is as bad as others say him to be, then i guess i dun wanna ruin this perfect image i have of him inside yea? *shrugs*
zhi hao shen me dou bu shuo, jing jing ren zhe tong.
suddenly i really fear. fear failing. fear not being able to go to any university of my choice. fear my future. people may tell me: fear for what. just do ur best now. but i guess my greatest problem is my slacker attitude. unwilling to work hard, unwilling to sit down and REALLY study. damn worried. damn stressed. dunno how. shit.
season starts on tues for us. tml for the guys. gonna go support them. jiayou jiayou!
monz and i were msging just now. realised somethings la..dunno mans..i think she may be right to a certain extent. i guess i really gotta give up, and put my words into action. he may have someone else in mind also..hmmm, and if really he is as bad as others say him to be, then i guess i dun wanna ruin this perfect image i have of him inside yea? *shrugs*
zhi hao shen me dou bu shuo, jing jing ren zhe tong.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
hmms.
im like totally sun-burnt, much to the horror of my mum. she commented tt i may look cute now, with the rosy cheeks and all, but inside, perhaps my skin is all ruined. sheesh. make me damn worried. =X hmM~ anyway today training was quite fun la..less stressful than the past trainings we had. something like conditioning to keep us in shape for the tournament and not very serious, but still very fun. played games in 10mins intervals..yeas..then got mr louis ho and coach played with us also..lol..but they play the guys side la..really amusing to watch, esp boss super excited like schoolboy. =X
heh..yea, the weather was super hot la..hmm..my team had monz, jiamin, sharon goh, baoting and ivane. yupz. quite ok la.missed a couple of balls tt i shldnt have..hahah..sucks..gotta improve more i guess..hmmm..damn nervous la..but yes! we can do it! DOWN AJ!! next tues already..yea..the guys also must jiayou, have absolute faith in them! :)
hmmm, then today hf and paula gave us each a plate to like encourage us for our tournament..haha..reminded me of the sjab comp days where my seniors also painstakingly prepared alot of stuff for us, and us when we became seniors, also prepared alot stuff for our juniors..*sigh* =) hahaha..im the most pia la..wah lau..hahahax..
sheesh, im like super red and black now..jialat. and i just happened to be thinkin abt my hockey skirt. wonder how am i going to squeeze into it..and it hardly even covers my butt. gee. monday or tues got econs test. die already lo..sure fail. haben even studied. now super tired liao. *yawnsS* gotta start later. MUST! MUST MUST MUST! econs is like my only passing subject now..heh..
oh yea, me hf paula tracy and a couple of guys wenta eat after training..hahah..quite ok la..hmm..then tt idiotic paula keep saying i attract older men, cos got a couple of old men sitting next to our table..and they kept telling us abt their olden days where they also played some sport(which i din catch, but i pressume to be badminton). lol, this old guy was telling us how he last time veh gd at slicing balls etc..told us abt the champions back then blah blah..even picked up hf and tracy's stick to examine it(and compare it with his umbrella, lol)..hmmm..hf and trace were't there la..yea..quite funny..=D
hmm left soon after finish eating..super tired already dunno why. must be the sun la..sheesh. exhausted. hmmm..yea, today thought abt alot of things..but really ust start concentrating..cannot be distracted with playing..then liddat can play my best! though i may not be starting 11 la, but i think what boss said is right la..it's a team game, i really really want saints hockey to create history!! :) from the bottom of my heart! hope we'll beat the hell outta all the schools we meet!!!
fight fight fight!!! :)
heh. online blogs really aint tt personal afterall. sigh.
heh..yea, the weather was super hot la..hmm..my team had monz, jiamin, sharon goh, baoting and ivane. yupz. quite ok la.missed a couple of balls tt i shldnt have..hahah..sucks..gotta improve more i guess..hmmm..damn nervous la..but yes! we can do it! DOWN AJ!! next tues already..yea..the guys also must jiayou, have absolute faith in them! :)
hmmm, then today hf and paula gave us each a plate to like encourage us for our tournament..haha..reminded me of the sjab comp days where my seniors also painstakingly prepared alot of stuff for us, and us when we became seniors, also prepared alot stuff for our juniors..*sigh* =) hahaha..im the most pia la..wah lau..hahahax..
sheesh, im like super red and black now..jialat. and i just happened to be thinkin abt my hockey skirt. wonder how am i going to squeeze into it..and it hardly even covers my butt. gee. monday or tues got econs test. die already lo..sure fail. haben even studied. now super tired liao. *yawnsS* gotta start later. MUST! MUST MUST MUST! econs is like my only passing subject now..heh..
oh yea, me hf paula tracy and a couple of guys wenta eat after training..hahah..quite ok la..hmm..then tt idiotic paula keep saying i attract older men, cos got a couple of old men sitting next to our table..and they kept telling us abt their olden days where they also played some sport(which i din catch, but i pressume to be badminton). lol, this old guy was telling us how he last time veh gd at slicing balls etc..told us abt the champions back then blah blah..even picked up hf and tracy's stick to examine it(and compare it with his umbrella, lol)..hmmm..hf and trace were't there la..yea..quite funny..=D
hmm left soon after finish eating..super tired already dunno why. must be the sun la..sheesh. exhausted. hmmm..yea, today thought abt alot of things..but really ust start concentrating..cannot be distracted with playing..then liddat can play my best! though i may not be starting 11 la, but i think what boss said is right la..it's a team game, i really really want saints hockey to create history!! :) from the bottom of my heart! hope we'll beat the hell outta all the schools we meet!!!
fight fight fight!!! :)
heh. online blogs really aint tt personal afterall. sigh.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
=)
today was quite a stupid day la. dunno how to explain also, but just kinda sucky here, and yet kinda enjoyable there. makes sense? hahaha..nevermind i understand can liao..
firstly, i noe huifang knows abt this blog, so HUIFANG HI!!!! hahaha..dots..i dun really want ppl to read my blog one..kinda personal, but hecks la..cant block ppl or wad..=p hmmm..today short day la..shiok. phy tut, geog tut then geog lect. yeas, day flew past fast and i cldnt wait to play hockey la..veh long nv play the feeling..hahhax..was slacking ard with meiping in the cafe, then teresa and tracy came over..saw our sticks on the table and my ball, then took it to go to the track to play..teresa was wearing sch u la..then me and mp decided to go start playing, walked towards the both of them, and i witnessed my stick getting confiscated! oh mans. seriously, i was like pissed la. i mean, not even my fault and i actually got punished for it??? gRrr..was super pissed until i cldnt talk, din wanna talk either. cos i noe when im pissed and i talk, hurtful words can actually come out..been through it before, dun wanna make things worse...*sighs* think tereda felt quite bad, but i really cant bring myself to say im not pissed AT ALL, which is like a total lie..=X yea..didnt speak to tracy also..but yea..now every thing's alright la..told them im ok le..
so just kept quiet and continued playing using ivane's stick lo..yea..really quite angry..then keep hitting..some hits realy quite powerful, shocked myself..lol, but alot also powerful but miss, so i had to run after the ball many times..hmmm..at first was me and meiping playing only la..den slowly more and mroe ppl joined in..the guys etc.
yea, then i wenta meet boss with teresa to talk abt the stick thingy. *shrugs* apparently i have to do some duty for a week after season la..wadeva mans.
hmmm..then wenta back play lo. yuan shen was playing ball with me la. quite nice a he. cos he saw i miss alot balls, and playing alone at the other goal post, then he come pei me..hahah..think he sensed how pissed i was la..hmM..then he even helped me pick stray balls!!! :D is that nice or what...even if he is super irritating at times, getting on my nerves and all, but i guess he is really a nice guy la.=) heh..then he taught me to hit and stuff..yea just wanna say thanks..super touched la. :D doubt he'll read this also..hahaha! somemore let me use his stick leh! wahh..nice la..though we kept irritating each other while playing..haha..he keep suan-ing me abt missing balls, then he also caught my disease of missing balls, then i laughed at him in return..heh, cheered me up alot..=) then he keep re-enacting out the "scenes" where i missed the ball..hahah..so idiotic rite? he even asked apple to like demonstrate hits for me..apparently he claims tt apple's hits quite gd..hmmm..okae..
but one thing i dunno la..ys was saying that my hits veh girly!! oh mans..im a girl of cos girly la..wah lau...and i tryin my best to use alot force liao lo..then he say still veh weak, but quite ok for girl le..hmm..plus using wooden stick la..yeas, then apple was like just beside me and ys wanted him to teach me how to hit properly..then he mentioned tt my hits veh girly, and apple was like "but she is a girl what.." lol. i thot it was quite nice of him la. =P
heh..hmmM..got one pt he even asked if he can use my ball not..lol..so i said ok la..(when i rejected ys to use my ball) hahaha..but he hit the ball out man..aiyo, so he had to go get my ball..den even when he got it back ys was being irritating again and refused to return my ball..yeas, and the story goes on, but in the end he did la. so i decided it was too freaking hot and i had been playing for 2 hours non-stop, i decided to go in grab a drink la, then ys went with me..hahah..saw bernard n lawrence there, then talked cok abit la..hahha..the guys are really quite funny..dunno why so lame. :P
watched a couple of them play carom..then tt monz also playing..lol, she dunno how to play la, then alot things tyco one..damn funny..hahah..dunno why but the pissy mode i used to have dissolved le..yeas, felt so much happier..hmmm..tension eased for a moment la..tension in my body...yea, then hf and best friend combined to give me a sunflower la..wah, im like super touched man..dunno wad to say..cos' hf just came up to me while i sitting down and watchin them play carom and told me tt cos recently i like veh stressed n upset and all, then she n best friend decided to give me this to cheer me up..wahh..none of my frens actually did that before la..heh..think i cld have cried out of being super touched la! hahah! thanks girl..thanks deepan..=) really really really thanks..dunno how to express out in words..and dun worry! i love sunflowers too..hahha..=)
sheesh..two more sentences today from him. hahaha..cool cool. though hf told me tt admiring his physical outlook is ok, but character wise not veh gd? hmm, i wonder why..
aiya today conditioning run was ok..but painful la..think i getting used to the pain already..hahax..and oh! we got our jerseys!!! its like so exciting la..but also a great responsibility..we really gotta fight hard, fight on. we can do it..one step at a time kae!!! boss is right..whatever that he said today, hope all of us will rmb it..=)
btw, number 13 just rocks la! :) muacks.
firstly, i noe huifang knows abt this blog, so HUIFANG HI!!!! hahaha..dots..i dun really want ppl to read my blog one..kinda personal, but hecks la..cant block ppl or wad..=p hmmm..today short day la..shiok. phy tut, geog tut then geog lect. yeas, day flew past fast and i cldnt wait to play hockey la..veh long nv play the feeling..hahhax..was slacking ard with meiping in the cafe, then teresa and tracy came over..saw our sticks on the table and my ball, then took it to go to the track to play..teresa was wearing sch u la..then me and mp decided to go start playing, walked towards the both of them, and i witnessed my stick getting confiscated! oh mans. seriously, i was like pissed la. i mean, not even my fault and i actually got punished for it??? gRrr..was super pissed until i cldnt talk, din wanna talk either. cos i noe when im pissed and i talk, hurtful words can actually come out..been through it before, dun wanna make things worse...*sighs* think tereda felt quite bad, but i really cant bring myself to say im not pissed AT ALL, which is like a total lie..=X yea..didnt speak to tracy also..but yea..now every thing's alright la..told them im ok le..
so just kept quiet and continued playing using ivane's stick lo..yea..really quite angry..then keep hitting..some hits realy quite powerful, shocked myself..lol, but alot also powerful but miss, so i had to run after the ball many times..hmmm..at first was me and meiping playing only la..den slowly more and mroe ppl joined in..the guys etc.
yea, then i wenta meet boss with teresa to talk abt the stick thingy. *shrugs* apparently i have to do some duty for a week after season la..wadeva mans.
hmmm..then wenta back play lo. yuan shen was playing ball with me la. quite nice a he. cos he saw i miss alot balls, and playing alone at the other goal post, then he come pei me..hahah..think he sensed how pissed i was la..hmM..then he even helped me pick stray balls!!! :D is that nice or what...even if he is super irritating at times, getting on my nerves and all, but i guess he is really a nice guy la.=) heh..then he taught me to hit and stuff..yea just wanna say thanks..super touched la. :D doubt he'll read this also..hahaha! somemore let me use his stick leh! wahh..nice la..though we kept irritating each other while playing..haha..he keep suan-ing me abt missing balls, then he also caught my disease of missing balls, then i laughed at him in return..heh, cheered me up alot..=) then he keep re-enacting out the "scenes" where i missed the ball..hahah..so idiotic rite? he even asked apple to like demonstrate hits for me..apparently he claims tt apple's hits quite gd..hmmm..okae..
but one thing i dunno la..ys was saying that my hits veh girly!! oh mans..im a girl of cos girly la..wah lau...and i tryin my best to use alot force liao lo..then he say still veh weak, but quite ok for girl le..hmm..plus using wooden stick la..yeas, then apple was like just beside me and ys wanted him to teach me how to hit properly..then he mentioned tt my hits veh girly, and apple was like "but she is a girl what.." lol. i thot it was quite nice of him la. =P
heh..hmmM..got one pt he even asked if he can use my ball not..lol..so i said ok la..(when i rejected ys to use my ball) hahaha..but he hit the ball out man..aiyo, so he had to go get my ball..den even when he got it back ys was being irritating again and refused to return my ball..yeas, and the story goes on, but in the end he did la. so i decided it was too freaking hot and i had been playing for 2 hours non-stop, i decided to go in grab a drink la, then ys went with me..hahah..saw bernard n lawrence there, then talked cok abit la..hahha..the guys are really quite funny..dunno why so lame. :P
watched a couple of them play carom..then tt monz also playing..lol, she dunno how to play la, then alot things tyco one..damn funny..hahah..dunno why but the pissy mode i used to have dissolved le..yeas, felt so much happier..hmmm..tension eased for a moment la..tension in my body...yea, then hf and best friend combined to give me a sunflower la..wah, im like super touched man..dunno wad to say..cos' hf just came up to me while i sitting down and watchin them play carom and told me tt cos recently i like veh stressed n upset and all, then she n best friend decided to give me this to cheer me up..wahh..none of my frens actually did that before la..heh..think i cld have cried out of being super touched la! hahah! thanks girl..thanks deepan..=) really really really thanks..dunno how to express out in words..and dun worry! i love sunflowers too..hahha..=)
sheesh..two more sentences today from him. hahaha..cool cool. though hf told me tt admiring his physical outlook is ok, but character wise not veh gd? hmm, i wonder why..
aiya today conditioning run was ok..but painful la..think i getting used to the pain already..hahax..and oh! we got our jerseys!!! its like so exciting la..but also a great responsibility..we really gotta fight hard, fight on. we can do it..one step at a time kae!!! boss is right..whatever that he said today, hope all of us will rmb it..=)
btw, number 13 just rocks la! :) muacks.
Friday, April 22, 2005
sad.
hahahx...im like sad now. sigh. but nvm. i'll be ok. think i really really really gotta start waking up and stop thinking so much. imagining too much already...=( obviously no chance still think so much. tts it la. not gonna waste my time and appear like a idiot already. i dun like and never have been rejected, so i shall not risk it this time..hahah..why start something tt wasnt meant to be? hmmm..see how lo, can make frens den gd lo..cannot then forget it. hmm. im happy now. =)
hmM..my knee really hurts la..dunno why. sighs. damn sad. really reliant on my knee guard now..hmM~ and i cant run for the class inter-relay!!!! ahhh..damn sad la. haix. ok la..suan ler. guess i cant rely on my other classmates to get gold yea? just tt i really wanna run for the class like last yr..the joy and excitement and nervousness is like cannot be understood one lo..=( nvm, gd luck and jiayou 04S91! woO..WE ROCK LA!!! :D
tml got hockey training..think is conditioning and classroom sssion. saturday got training..think we having mini matches with our seniors and also pe teachers? hahaha..quite looking forward to it..then monday is guys' match start, tues is ours. scary..nervous man..den think alot of us going to support the guys on monday..feel super nervous..hope we really will do well..we fought so hard, trained so hard..cant let go of everything at this point in time. WE MUST WIN. WE MUST DO IT. we may not be champions, but we are all champions at heart ok SAINTS HOCKEY!?? we rock man. :D love ya all.
lately alwaes got the i-want-to-shit feeling..hahaha..think ate too much fruits le..wanna jian fei, feel myself expanding by the day. super irritating..hahaha..:X hmmm, anyway today watched teh soccer match of SAJC vs IJC. quite ok la, wasnt really worried cos obviously we were quite strong..hmm..won 4-0..woO...then me and tracy and weiyan and yiting n hf watched with all the hockey guys la..then they all wear team SAJC. super hao lian liddat..hahaha..cheer also veh horrible..=p but not bad la, its amusing and quite adorable to look upon..=D hmmm..me and tracy today dunno why but really funny..think today our frequency quite similar..doing and thinking stupid things..=p but made me laugh la..really glad..hahah..her company is great..:)
ok gotta run. tml is short day. gonna practise some hockey b4 training starts. heh. much to tone up. jiayou jiayou all the way! oh mans. i hope i wun fall back too much on studies. after all this we gotta pia le. worried.. :X gd lucks to me!!! :) *muacks*
hmM..my knee really hurts la..dunno why. sighs. damn sad. really reliant on my knee guard now..hmM~ and i cant run for the class inter-relay!!!! ahhh..damn sad la. haix. ok la..suan ler. guess i cant rely on my other classmates to get gold yea? just tt i really wanna run for the class like last yr..the joy and excitement and nervousness is like cannot be understood one lo..=( nvm, gd luck and jiayou 04S91! woO..WE ROCK LA!!! :D
tml got hockey training..think is conditioning and classroom sssion. saturday got training..think we having mini matches with our seniors and also pe teachers? hahaha..quite looking forward to it..then monday is guys' match start, tues is ours. scary..nervous man..den think alot of us going to support the guys on monday..feel super nervous..hope we really will do well..we fought so hard, trained so hard..cant let go of everything at this point in time. WE MUST WIN. WE MUST DO IT. we may not be champions, but we are all champions at heart ok SAINTS HOCKEY!?? we rock man. :D love ya all.
lately alwaes got the i-want-to-shit feeling..hahaha..think ate too much fruits le..wanna jian fei, feel myself expanding by the day. super irritating..hahaha..:X hmmm, anyway today watched teh soccer match of SAJC vs IJC. quite ok la, wasnt really worried cos obviously we were quite strong..hmm..won 4-0..woO...then me and tracy and weiyan and yiting n hf watched with all the hockey guys la..then they all wear team SAJC. super hao lian liddat..hahaha..cheer also veh horrible..=p but not bad la, its amusing and quite adorable to look upon..=D hmmm..me and tracy today dunno why but really funny..think today our frequency quite similar..doing and thinking stupid things..=p but made me laugh la..really glad..hahah..her company is great..:)
ok gotta run. tml is short day. gonna practise some hockey b4 training starts. heh. much to tone up. jiayou jiayou all the way! oh mans. i hope i wun fall back too much on studies. after all this we gotta pia le. worried.. :X gd lucks to me!!! :) *muacks*
Thursday, April 21, 2005
hua chi-ing.
hahahx..as u can read from the title above. yes, im in serious fa hua chi state. very bad. how can one actually have so many eye candies? even yun ma think im mad also. heh. sheesh. teddy. apple. jelly. lol. tts funny..and some j1s are actually quite cute..pity i don't really go for younger guys..hee.
hmmm..today yun ma veh spastic la. think she forgot to ate her medicine. hahaha..she was trying to mimic machi didi rap la. oh mans. hahahha..really damn funny. cant stand her sometimes. =p think she kenna infected by me. then everytime when i down she's up. when im up she's down. sometimes both of us are up OR down. hahaha..quite gd cos can encourage each other on and cheer each other up la..=)
hmM~ but she can get quite irritating at times..hahaha..of cos' in a affectionate way la..not SERIOUSLY irritating type. dun thinkn yun ma has the ability to make ppl feel pissed or anything. :P hmmm..she kept saying i very "attraction attention". dots! where got..i really really dunno i where, which part of me attract attention. then when buying bag tt time she insisted tt i'll look in the red crumpler bag. sheesh. wanna slap her man. lol. realised that i like bright colours and alot of my things are brightly coloured, but this doesnt mean tt i like to be attracting attention! i hate attention. hahaha..i simply love bright colours cos' they cheer me up. tt explains my orange prestos and orange shoelaces. think little ppl will understand la, but i guess they dun hafta. :) hmM..but sometimes its so bright tt u'll feel awkward wearing it! :X anyways, let's see, what other brightly coloured stuff do i have? yellow bottle? hahaha..nothign else iao lo. (yun ma even labelled my red-rimmed specs as attention seeking!!!! gosh) and she even said my face is alwaes glowing la! (from oil? :P) heh.
today had conditioning or maintanence run for hockey training. 8 rounds only. stamina wise it was no kick. but my knee was severely aching. cant stand it. from the SBJ until now..nv stopped hurting..haix. think i might rethink my decision to re-do my napfa..haf to undergo such pain again! anyways, think i gotta get a organiser soon. ever since my hp (in which stored my calendar) was lost, i've no sense of time and i cant rmb things very well given my half aslp brain 3/4 of my life. heh..hopefully can find one cute one! :)
oh yea, hope m knee gets well soon too. cant tolerate the pain any longer, though i may seem higly normal most of the time. im hurting each time i walk, just tt the pain is nothign compared to when im running or sprinting. sighs.
think im going crazy. dunno why i have so many eye candies. dunno why. dunno why. just..hope he'll initiate to make friends one day? heh. i don't like to initiate la. =p at least make it two way. one way frenship never works out. =x
hmmm..today yun ma veh spastic la. think she forgot to ate her medicine. hahaha..she was trying to mimic machi didi rap la. oh mans. hahahha..really damn funny. cant stand her sometimes. =p think she kenna infected by me. then everytime when i down she's up. when im up she's down. sometimes both of us are up OR down. hahaha..quite gd cos can encourage each other on and cheer each other up la..=)
hmM~ but she can get quite irritating at times..hahaha..of cos' in a affectionate way la..not SERIOUSLY irritating type. dun thinkn yun ma has the ability to make ppl feel pissed or anything. :P hmmm..she kept saying i very "attraction attention". dots! where got..i really really dunno i where, which part of me attract attention. then when buying bag tt time she insisted tt i'll look in the red crumpler bag. sheesh. wanna slap her man. lol. realised that i like bright colours and alot of my things are brightly coloured, but this doesnt mean tt i like to be attracting attention! i hate attention. hahaha..i simply love bright colours cos' they cheer me up. tt explains my orange prestos and orange shoelaces. think little ppl will understand la, but i guess they dun hafta. :) hmM..but sometimes its so bright tt u'll feel awkward wearing it! :X anyways, let's see, what other brightly coloured stuff do i have? yellow bottle? hahaha..nothign else iao lo. (yun ma even labelled my red-rimmed specs as attention seeking!!!! gosh) and she even said my face is alwaes glowing la! (from oil? :P) heh.
today had conditioning or maintanence run for hockey training. 8 rounds only. stamina wise it was no kick. but my knee was severely aching. cant stand it. from the SBJ until now..nv stopped hurting..haix. think i might rethink my decision to re-do my napfa..haf to undergo such pain again! anyways, think i gotta get a organiser soon. ever since my hp (in which stored my calendar) was lost, i've no sense of time and i cant rmb things very well given my half aslp brain 3/4 of my life. heh..hopefully can find one cute one! :)
oh yea, hope m knee gets well soon too. cant tolerate the pain any longer, though i may seem higly normal most of the time. im hurting each time i walk, just tt the pain is nothign compared to when im running or sprinting. sighs.
think im going crazy. dunno why i have so many eye candies. dunno why. dunno why. just..hope he'll initiate to make friends one day? heh. i don't like to initiate la. =p at least make it two way. one way frenship never works out. =x
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
pain.
i seem to be experiencing many incidents of pain this month. april. why? i wonder why? perhaps it's just another month of extreme accidents-prones-periods, loss of material stuff, conflicting emotions and another whirlpool of events(which i seem to always go through). it's definitely tiring, testing the limits of both my mental strength and physical strength. endurance, endurance..i keep telling myself this. pick yourself up after you fall, jielin.
the knee ligament injury doenst seem to be recovering. i think it doesnt even have the chance to recover int he first place also, since i keep exercising and pushing myself to my limits. *sighs* i really know i shldnt do that, but i just cant keep still! yet this injury is causing me to remain very uncomfortably immobile and inactive most of the time. with the constant naggings to take care of myself from friends and teachers alike, i face utmost pressure. pressure from myself. i always wish to ace in whatever i do, hoping to complete it with my best and nothingbut my best. yet of recent periods, i find myself giving up too easily, citing excuses and reasons which may convince the others but not myself. am i just cheating myself? i think im simply running away frommy problems. im not refering to only this knee ligament injury, but also problems i encounter in life.
take hockey for example, i used to think im physically strong and mentally determined to accomplish things i pick up. at least it showed during secondary school. somehow, i lost this will and fire within me to fight on despite the countless and endless difficulties i face. i give up too easily. and this is something i hate of myself, yet i cant bring myself to rid of this mindset. what is wrong with me??
i used to have utmost pride in myself and the achievements. yet now, i feel like i have nothing to be proud of, nothing to make me hold my head high. i seem to have lost everything. i seem to have lost myself. this pain i encounter while searching for the lost me is searing. it cuts deep into my bones, torturing my mind. who exactly am i?
today i took my napfa test. i managed to get As for my sit and reach, shuttle run and sit-ups. B for my inclined pull-ups. and a lousy D for my standing broad jump. i don't know if i shld attribute this lousy results to m knee injury, cos i definitely nv got such a lousy grade for SBJ b4. infact, it was one of my stronger stations. but truthfully, the pain i felt landing from the impact of the jump also killed me. and i did not even let all my energy out to do the jump. i was afraid. afraid of the expected pain. yet the expected pain did not exceed the real pain. i practically teared. pride. the last ounce of pride i had in myself caused me to blink away my tears and told myself to try standing up again to jump. but mr khoo and the rest told me not to..disappointment. utter disappointment. now im confused. i have to retake ALL my 5 stations if i want better SBJ results. just duno if it's worth the pain all over again. yet getting almost all As wld definitely look better in the slip of paper. heh.
pain of losing my hp. somehow, i was quite surprised that the loss of this material good did not inflict as much pain as i expected. sure i cried from the loss. but because of all the msges that meant alot to me, the alarm clock i miss till now, the calendar with all the V.I.P stuff saved, the stars i put into my phone, the glow-in-the-dark star sticker at the back of the phone, and a sticker of a girl given to me by my sis. even the black teddy hung on my hp. all these stuff meant alot to me. recollections of them made me hurt alot. somehow it's inevitable right? to hurt from the loss of things tt meant alot to u. it wasnt the loss of the phone tt upset me, rather it is the loss of things INSIDE the phone tt caused me unhappiness. am i making sense? i hope so.
really exhausted now. such a long day. im starting to dread my mondays and tuesdays. such long days. droning on and on. tutorials after tutorials. lectures after lectures. i wonder when will i ever seriously get down to studying. i need some serious discipline. *sighs*
well, tml there is hockey again. running abit. then got classroom session. got some mindef talk before tt i think. heh. hope it'll be interesting la. cant help it if i fall aslp. saw him many times again today. somehow i think im going to give up on him already. cant even be friends with him so far. this is leading no where. and i dun even noe if he's a nice guy! =X life IS wierd. why do we always end up falling for people whom we hardly know, holding idealistic roles of them, thinking them to be perfect in our minds. hmmm. love is blind yea? we accept all short-comings and embrace all positive chracteristics of people. this goes the same way for friendship. hahah..think im not making sense. super tired to think now. lack slp.
just really really hope things will go the way i want them to. *sighs* wish i had a bouquet of lavenders in front of me now. they nv fail to calm me down.
the knee ligament injury doenst seem to be recovering. i think it doesnt even have the chance to recover int he first place also, since i keep exercising and pushing myself to my limits. *sighs* i really know i shldnt do that, but i just cant keep still! yet this injury is causing me to remain very uncomfortably immobile and inactive most of the time. with the constant naggings to take care of myself from friends and teachers alike, i face utmost pressure. pressure from myself. i always wish to ace in whatever i do, hoping to complete it with my best and nothingbut my best. yet of recent periods, i find myself giving up too easily, citing excuses and reasons which may convince the others but not myself. am i just cheating myself? i think im simply running away frommy problems. im not refering to only this knee ligament injury, but also problems i encounter in life.
take hockey for example, i used to think im physically strong and mentally determined to accomplish things i pick up. at least it showed during secondary school. somehow, i lost this will and fire within me to fight on despite the countless and endless difficulties i face. i give up too easily. and this is something i hate of myself, yet i cant bring myself to rid of this mindset. what is wrong with me??
i used to have utmost pride in myself and the achievements. yet now, i feel like i have nothing to be proud of, nothing to make me hold my head high. i seem to have lost everything. i seem to have lost myself. this pain i encounter while searching for the lost me is searing. it cuts deep into my bones, torturing my mind. who exactly am i?
today i took my napfa test. i managed to get As for my sit and reach, shuttle run and sit-ups. B for my inclined pull-ups. and a lousy D for my standing broad jump. i don't know if i shld attribute this lousy results to m knee injury, cos i definitely nv got such a lousy grade for SBJ b4. infact, it was one of my stronger stations. but truthfully, the pain i felt landing from the impact of the jump also killed me. and i did not even let all my energy out to do the jump. i was afraid. afraid of the expected pain. yet the expected pain did not exceed the real pain. i practically teared. pride. the last ounce of pride i had in myself caused me to blink away my tears and told myself to try standing up again to jump. but mr khoo and the rest told me not to..disappointment. utter disappointment. now im confused. i have to retake ALL my 5 stations if i want better SBJ results. just duno if it's worth the pain all over again. yet getting almost all As wld definitely look better in the slip of paper. heh.
pain of losing my hp. somehow, i was quite surprised that the loss of this material good did not inflict as much pain as i expected. sure i cried from the loss. but because of all the msges that meant alot to me, the alarm clock i miss till now, the calendar with all the V.I.P stuff saved, the stars i put into my phone, the glow-in-the-dark star sticker at the back of the phone, and a sticker of a girl given to me by my sis. even the black teddy hung on my hp. all these stuff meant alot to me. recollections of them made me hurt alot. somehow it's inevitable right? to hurt from the loss of things tt meant alot to u. it wasnt the loss of the phone tt upset me, rather it is the loss of things INSIDE the phone tt caused me unhappiness. am i making sense? i hope so.
really exhausted now. such a long day. im starting to dread my mondays and tuesdays. such long days. droning on and on. tutorials after tutorials. lectures after lectures. i wonder when will i ever seriously get down to studying. i need some serious discipline. *sighs*
well, tml there is hockey again. running abit. then got classroom session. got some mindef talk before tt i think. heh. hope it'll be interesting la. cant help it if i fall aslp. saw him many times again today. somehow i think im going to give up on him already. cant even be friends with him so far. this is leading no where. and i dun even noe if he's a nice guy! =X life IS wierd. why do we always end up falling for people whom we hardly know, holding idealistic roles of them, thinking them to be perfect in our minds. hmmm. love is blind yea? we accept all short-comings and embrace all positive chracteristics of people. this goes the same way for friendship. hahah..think im not making sense. super tired to think now. lack slp.
just really really hope things will go the way i want them to. *sighs* wish i had a bouquet of lavenders in front of me now. they nv fail to calm me down.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
well well.
today the results list for the class was like passed around in class after econs tut. damn bad. i realised i was one of the worser off ones in class. heh. my points was a pathetic 22 la! oh sheesh. this is the result of not studying? damn sad. think i really deproved alot from last year..dunno wads the reason. but one thing i know for sure, now, i cant use hockey as an excuse not to study or do hwk. it's all excuses. other people can manage well, i shld be able to do so too. i cant help but feel stressed among the hockey peeps. firstly, they are like damn smart. secondly, they are like damn hardworking. thirdly, they can balance both hockey and studies well! *sighs* this is something i ought to learn from. heh. i tend to neglect one or the other. :X
anyways, i vowed to study hard form now on la. try my best to do my assignments and hand them up on time. try to listen during lectures can get as much notes down as possible. though i know alot stuff i need now is memory work and loads and loads of time to catch up on loads and loads of stuff. sighs. this is gonna be a tough period. but hey. we gotta start with a aim in mind right? yea. my aim: AAAB. difficult sure, but i'll strive for it. hopefully i won't fall too badly. go jielin. try your best. aim high. fly and soar. :)
hmM~ today was a terribly long day. rained during the GP lect. i slpt throughout the whole thing la. i slpt infront of the dumb lecturer and she cldnt be bothered to wake me up or scold me. lol. no one in front of me to block me summore. sheesh. am i lucky or what. anyway, it wasn't a very peaceful slp cos it was freaking cold in the audi. hmM...slacked around after school cos physics prac was cancelled. watched the innova VS hci soccer match. innova played badly man. the golaie let in like 2 goals. teh ball simply slipped through his hands. talk abt butter fingers. :S the soccer match of sajc VS acjc was damn exciting. cldnt stop cheering. hahaha..even though i din noe all the soccer players' names, but i just shouted their jersey numbers la..hmM..homegrd really has its advantage. acjc's 24(capt) and 42 played super foul anyway. pissed me off. thnk i wasnt the only one. sharon(quek), monz, weiyan, baoting and meiping also agreed. ahahha..in fact i think sajc agreed. :P we won 1-0. go saints soccer. gd job today. :) team sajc simply rocks.
tracy was hitting balls today. as usual her no direction balls flew everywhere and almost killed me(as usual). infact it hit my back la. now got bruise already. sheesh. killer balls la. i'll be handicapped one day cos of her. hahah.
long entry today man. anyway, classroom session was very long but comprehensive. learnt alot stuff la. watched ourselves in play, learnt from our mistakes and hope we don't commit them next time. hope we'll really play better and better. Adiv here we come! :D
had gd view of apple today. hahaha..suddenly thot of what yun ma said..what ant better lookin than apple. really object man. hahaha..and sharon cldnt stop oggling over jelly. hahah! she was super upset when jelly din board the same bus as her. :P thinkwe are really mad already. haha. :D
something i recall from what monz said on saturady when we went out. why din the hockey guys seem so desirable last yr? :P
anyways, i vowed to study hard form now on la. try my best to do my assignments and hand them up on time. try to listen during lectures can get as much notes down as possible. though i know alot stuff i need now is memory work and loads and loads of time to catch up on loads and loads of stuff. sighs. this is gonna be a tough period. but hey. we gotta start with a aim in mind right? yea. my aim: AAAB. difficult sure, but i'll strive for it. hopefully i won't fall too badly. go jielin. try your best. aim high. fly and soar. :)
hmM~ today was a terribly long day. rained during the GP lect. i slpt throughout the whole thing la. i slpt infront of the dumb lecturer and she cldnt be bothered to wake me up or scold me. lol. no one in front of me to block me summore. sheesh. am i lucky or what. anyway, it wasn't a very peaceful slp cos it was freaking cold in the audi. hmM...slacked around after school cos physics prac was cancelled. watched the innova VS hci soccer match. innova played badly man. the golaie let in like 2 goals. teh ball simply slipped through his hands. talk abt butter fingers. :S the soccer match of sajc VS acjc was damn exciting. cldnt stop cheering. hahaha..even though i din noe all the soccer players' names, but i just shouted their jersey numbers la..hmM..homegrd really has its advantage. acjc's 24(capt) and 42 played super foul anyway. pissed me off. thnk i wasnt the only one. sharon(quek), monz, weiyan, baoting and meiping also agreed. ahahha..in fact i think sajc agreed. :P we won 1-0. go saints soccer. gd job today. :) team sajc simply rocks.
tracy was hitting balls today. as usual her no direction balls flew everywhere and almost killed me(as usual). infact it hit my back la. now got bruise already. sheesh. killer balls la. i'll be handicapped one day cos of her. hahah.
long entry today man. anyway, classroom session was very long but comprehensive. learnt alot stuff la. watched ourselves in play, learnt from our mistakes and hope we don't commit them next time. hope we'll really play better and better. Adiv here we come! :D
had gd view of apple today. hahaha..suddenly thot of what yun ma said..what ant better lookin than apple. really object man. hahaha..and sharon cldnt stop oggling over jelly. hahah! she was super upset when jelly din board the same bus as her. :P thinkwe are really mad already. haha. :D
something i recall from what monz said on saturady when we went out. why din the hockey guys seem so desirable last yr? :P
Sunday, April 17, 2005
confusion.
im confused. i really am. sometimes i do wonder abt who are my true blue friends. do you all remember back in primary school, all of us (esp. girls) used to have groups of best friends, true friends, good friends and blah blah blah. the list goes on. and we all rmb these facts from those childishly written "autograph" books we give to our classmates to write in every end-of-the-year. when it came to secondary school, many of us outgrew the habit to "categorise" our friends true friends, best friends, and good friends etc. is is because we do not bother? is is because we find no need to? or is it simply because we hardly know who are our really true friends? sometimes i just feel so lonely.
you know how it feels to be walking among a group of friends, and yet feel nothing but absolute loneliness? the feeling is terrible. cos' you cannot do anything about it. i really do want to be a good friend to all. and i do try. but somehow it's just not as easy as it is said. somehow i feel like im being neglected and disconnected from my friends at times. it's like i cant juggle with so many groups of friends. either i'll be closer to my hockey friends, or i'll be closer to my class. either way, i lose out. it's like im no where, no one cares, no one understands, no one at all. sometimes im just so tired and exhausted, i wish to share my troubles with a friend, but i just cant find this someone. people pretned to understand, and perhaps they really do, but they do not really care. yet when they do sincerely care, i do feel extremely touched and warmed by their heartfelt concerns. it's just that, this doesnt happen often.
sometimes i do give my all to try to cheer up people ard me. frens i care abt, frens i worry abt, frens im very concerned over, frens i may appear to "neglect" due to the lack of time. these frens may have thought i've forgotten about the, but i have never done so. somehow m just hurt. the main purpose of this entry, is perhaps to ponder about issues in my life such as friendship. i've never mentioned this before, but the things tt affect me alot in life are basically my academics, my friends and my cca. these 3 things are very very very important to me such tt i'll be super upset with the loss of one. perhaps this is why my life is basically everything but calm. i can get worked up easily over difficulties faced in these aspects of life.
i've tried my best to cheer u up, taking my position as a friend. i used to think that we were very close friends, and i take pride and comfort in this friendship, and yet it is only recently that i realised im nothing to you. nothing but just another normal friend. perhaps all is lost in this time. we no longer hang out together. we no longer have the time for each other, even it was simple talk. we no longer msg each other encouraging stuff. i miss those times. and i miss those msges. you nv noe how much courage u instil in me each time u urge me on for my purpose in life, do you? i guess not.
im tired. i really am. what can i do to really make u cheer up. why cant u confide in me now? does the problem lies in me? i always try my best to be a gd friend to all, sincere in everything i say and do. i do not hide any emotions. i do not hide any secrets. i do not spill any secrets of yours. i find that i have not changed. all i've found tt has changed is our friendship. and you.
what is our friendship based on? i have no idea. what have u changed into? i have no idea. im tired trying to be a good friend to you, when im not being noticed at all. im sorry for trying. just hope u'll be happy. cheer up.
------------------
anyway, today after training n match went out with monz la. supposed to be team lunch but cant settle on anything so we just split up la. yawns..
then we wenta eat tori Q lunchbox..hahha.super crowded, so no choice wenta look for space to sit. even the fountain area was filled so we looked at the benches nearby crystal jade. lol. just nice one salesgirl was sitting there so me and monz decided to squeeze with her on the puny bench(much to her irritation). hahaha..but we din care la..lol..super starved. :P so we dumped our stuff against the wall..and plopped ourselves down to eat. she soon left and we got the entire bench to ourselves. this auntie kept pacing infront of us but we din bother la..hahah..pretended that we required the entire bench to eat..eat finish then say..:P i know it mean la..but really very tired..hahah..
monz got her nice slippers from adidas and succeeded in making me jealous of tt slippers..its really nice la..hahah..but shall not spend money liao la..hmmm..den wenta carefour to walk walk..hahaha..i think me n monz cannot go carefour la..everytime we go also do stupid stuff. so this time we wenta the underwear section. LOL. and we spent a great deal of time there. hahah! we bought similar underwear la..! :P sHhHh..and the funniest thing was when we were going to pay.cos the only available cashiers were two makes at one counter and another counter with one female. but that counter with the female had customer, so we had to wait. it must have looked ridiculous la, me and monz. hahaha..cos we din want to let the guys zap our underwear simply cos's it wld be super embarrassing! :P hahaha..crazy la..
had to leave soon after lo. took the train all the way home standing. my legs want to break already. tml hafta go pray my wai gong. i go slp already. tired. yawns. heard that he is very selfish and very mug. think i'll have to reconsider. heh. can't stand muggers. (no offence)
you know how it feels to be walking among a group of friends, and yet feel nothing but absolute loneliness? the feeling is terrible. cos' you cannot do anything about it. i really do want to be a good friend to all. and i do try. but somehow it's just not as easy as it is said. somehow i feel like im being neglected and disconnected from my friends at times. it's like i cant juggle with so many groups of friends. either i'll be closer to my hockey friends, or i'll be closer to my class. either way, i lose out. it's like im no where, no one cares, no one understands, no one at all. sometimes im just so tired and exhausted, i wish to share my troubles with a friend, but i just cant find this someone. people pretned to understand, and perhaps they really do, but they do not really care. yet when they do sincerely care, i do feel extremely touched and warmed by their heartfelt concerns. it's just that, this doesnt happen often.
sometimes i do give my all to try to cheer up people ard me. frens i care abt, frens i worry abt, frens im very concerned over, frens i may appear to "neglect" due to the lack of time. these frens may have thought i've forgotten about the, but i have never done so. somehow m just hurt. the main purpose of this entry, is perhaps to ponder about issues in my life such as friendship. i've never mentioned this before, but the things tt affect me alot in life are basically my academics, my friends and my cca. these 3 things are very very very important to me such tt i'll be super upset with the loss of one. perhaps this is why my life is basically everything but calm. i can get worked up easily over difficulties faced in these aspects of life.
i've tried my best to cheer u up, taking my position as a friend. i used to think that we were very close friends, and i take pride and comfort in this friendship, and yet it is only recently that i realised im nothing to you. nothing but just another normal friend. perhaps all is lost in this time. we no longer hang out together. we no longer have the time for each other, even it was simple talk. we no longer msg each other encouraging stuff. i miss those times. and i miss those msges. you nv noe how much courage u instil in me each time u urge me on for my purpose in life, do you? i guess not.
im tired. i really am. what can i do to really make u cheer up. why cant u confide in me now? does the problem lies in me? i always try my best to be a gd friend to all, sincere in everything i say and do. i do not hide any emotions. i do not hide any secrets. i do not spill any secrets of yours. i find that i have not changed. all i've found tt has changed is our friendship. and you.
what is our friendship based on? i have no idea. what have u changed into? i have no idea. im tired trying to be a good friend to you, when im not being noticed at all. im sorry for trying. just hope u'll be happy. cheer up.
------------------
anyway, today after training n match went out with monz la. supposed to be team lunch but cant settle on anything so we just split up la. yawns..
then we wenta eat tori Q lunchbox..hahha.super crowded, so no choice wenta look for space to sit. even the fountain area was filled so we looked at the benches nearby crystal jade. lol. just nice one salesgirl was sitting there so me and monz decided to squeeze with her on the puny bench(much to her irritation). hahaha..but we din care la..lol..super starved. :P so we dumped our stuff against the wall..and plopped ourselves down to eat. she soon left and we got the entire bench to ourselves. this auntie kept pacing infront of us but we din bother la..hahah..pretended that we required the entire bench to eat..eat finish then say..:P i know it mean la..but really very tired..hahah..
monz got her nice slippers from adidas and succeeded in making me jealous of tt slippers..its really nice la..hahah..but shall not spend money liao la..hmmm..den wenta carefour to walk walk..hahaha..i think me n monz cannot go carefour la..everytime we go also do stupid stuff. so this time we wenta the underwear section. LOL. and we spent a great deal of time there. hahah! we bought similar underwear la..! :P sHhHh..and the funniest thing was when we were going to pay.cos the only available cashiers were two makes at one counter and another counter with one female. but that counter with the female had customer, so we had to wait. it must have looked ridiculous la, me and monz. hahaha..cos we din want to let the guys zap our underwear simply cos's it wld be super embarrassing! :P hahaha..crazy la..
had to leave soon after lo. took the train all the way home standing. my legs want to break already. tml hafta go pray my wai gong. i go slp already. tired. yawns. heard that he is very selfish and very mug. think i'll have to reconsider. heh. can't stand muggers. (no offence)
Saturday, April 16, 2005
new bag.
bought a new bag today at bugis village. hahahx..quite normal la..but it's ok. guess i'll do fine with it..cos my old leather one really tearing apart..love it though..haix..gonna find some way to repair it..hahah..though it really seems as if it went through a thousand years..lol..no one will believe that it was bought only late last year. lol.
hmM~ ok im tired. today was off day so i wenta bugis with yun ma, syaf, vivi n frans to look for my bag. then winnie joined us later, and francis left early cos today got the concert..hmm..he performing ma..heh..funny, cant imagine him singing! :P so anyways, walked very long time la..den finally found the bag..cos got alot very normal and common bags..sigh* really disappointed..but really need a new bag, so i guess i can make do with it la..hmM..its canvas so probably can last quite long..hopefully longer than the previous leather one..hahha..every bag has its pros and cons rite? i guess...:P anyway, hope pple wun think its ugly or wad la..rather its the person who carries it right? haha :D
ok im seriously out of mine. very very tired. i go orh orh le..cos tml got training n matches..hmM~ anyway..if eugene is reading this, wanna tell u to cheer up kae..really..hope zihao feelin better too..sigh..though i feel disconnected from my frens sumtimes..but i really do care..hope they noe that...haix..
eye candies are only eye candies. i really really shld stop fantasising. at least i shld get to noe him first rite? cant even talk to him. i only hope i can convince myself to forget it. its impossible.
hmM~ ok im tired. today was off day so i wenta bugis with yun ma, syaf, vivi n frans to look for my bag. then winnie joined us later, and francis left early cos today got the concert..hmm..he performing ma..heh..funny, cant imagine him singing! :P so anyways, walked very long time la..den finally found the bag..cos got alot very normal and common bags..sigh* really disappointed..but really need a new bag, so i guess i can make do with it la..hmM..its canvas so probably can last quite long..hopefully longer than the previous leather one..hahha..every bag has its pros and cons rite? i guess...:P anyway, hope pple wun think its ugly or wad la..rather its the person who carries it right? haha :D
ok im seriously out of mine. very very tired. i go orh orh le..cos tml got training n matches..hmM~ anyway..if eugene is reading this, wanna tell u to cheer up kae..really..hope zihao feelin better too..sigh..though i feel disconnected from my frens sumtimes..but i really do care..hope they noe that...haix..
eye candies are only eye candies. i really really shld stop fantasising. at least i shld get to noe him first rite? cant even talk to him. i only hope i can convince myself to forget it. its impossible.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
yeas.
hmmm~ ok..im very tired now, plus alot dumb geog stuff to do. so i guess i shall just make this entry a quick one. training today sucked la. dunno why i so lethargic, see ball also dun wan to chase. also lazy to bend down. think is PMS la..hahha..started today. sheesh. hope i wun mood swing or wad la..really hate ppl who mood swing one..=X must not be one of them..heh..
anyways, i was thinking quite alot la..realised diff ppl say diff things. eugene told me to like "stop fantasising" abt the impossible. perhaps he's right. but my girlfrens told me to try it out..make frens with him first..hahah..the problem is tt i find it hard even to make frens with him(ie. speaking to him normally)..hahah..let alone thinkin further then tt la..i guess its just my part of one-sided attraction..*sigh* tts kinda athetic rite? can't be helped. not like i WANT to be attracted to him. really just feel it la. but it's one-sided, and im not going to do anything abt it cos i cant risk hurting myself and my pride. i've nv been hurt before and never will.
hmM~ we'll just see how it goes la..hahah..but today i talked quite alot to johan..hahah..super funny la..hmM..nice..=) i still think he IS cute. lol..despite protests..at least i found my hua chi partner! heh..and we've got code names for these guys too!!! :P sHhh...
ok..sat got match with crescent and hong kong international sch. hope we'll do well. =) hope i'll play well. really..trying hard. tml is off day for hockey peeps. ahhaha..u cant believe how happy we are man! woO! going to look for my bag tml.hopefully can find a nice one..=)
anyways, i was thinking quite alot la..realised diff ppl say diff things. eugene told me to like "stop fantasising" abt the impossible. perhaps he's right. but my girlfrens told me to try it out..make frens with him first..hahah..the problem is tt i find it hard even to make frens with him(ie. speaking to him normally)..hahah..let alone thinkin further then tt la..i guess its just my part of one-sided attraction..*sigh* tts kinda athetic rite? can't be helped. not like i WANT to be attracted to him. really just feel it la. but it's one-sided, and im not going to do anything abt it cos i cant risk hurting myself and my pride. i've nv been hurt before and never will.
hmM~ we'll just see how it goes la..hahah..but today i talked quite alot to johan..hahah..super funny la..hmM..nice..=) i still think he IS cute. lol..despite protests..at least i found my hua chi partner! heh..and we've got code names for these guys too!!! :P sHhh...
ok..sat got match with crescent and hong kong international sch. hope we'll do well. =) hope i'll play well. really..trying hard. tml is off day for hockey peeps. ahhaha..u cant believe how happy we are man! woO! going to look for my bag tml.hopefully can find a nice one..=)
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
tired.
hahahx...super tired now, plus a pounding headache to complement it. gRrr. think i too tired or wad..my mum says it cld be due to a lack of slp..hmmm~ perhaps..hahaha..cos' today i din get the chance to slp at all..=X heh...
anyway to cut things short, i got into the school team for hockey...actually i think the girls are really lucky cos all of us who consistently turned up got in..hmm..only those who had irregular attendance din get in..shall no mention any names here..*sigh* but its really lyk a burden lifted off my shoulders and chest. relieved that my hard work paid off..really...=) thank god.
hmmm..the guys team got 3 got cut..quite sad..haix..felt veh sad la..really think they bonded very well within this short period of intense and tiring training..but we came through it together..we encouraged each other, pushed each other, and we made each others' trainings somuch easier with friendly bickerings and laughter..=) this applies not only to the guys team but also to the girls team too..i think im really touched by these ppl in my life. all the while since sec sch..cca has alwaes been a huge part of my life. cos' its through cca tt i made many strong and dependable friendships tt last till today. =) treasure them alot..besties in life! =D
ehhh. he talked to me today la. im like super super happy. hahah..practically floated on cloud 9..hmmm..dunno why i think he's cute..lol..dun think alot ppl think so..but i also recently then notice how he looks like etc. *shrugs* call me humsup also can la..maybe i AM. :P heh..but i nv talk to him before, so today was quite a ground breaking experience. think he said a total of 2 sentences to me..one is "can i drink the water first" and the 2nd is "har, u really got highest in econs ah?" hahaha..not very significant, but well, im satisfied. at least he bothered to talk to me la..=) oOps, i feel like some bimbo. -brainless WITHOUT beauty- hahaha...
shall not elaborate then. but today was overall a quite nice day. heh. though i din complete the BSA cos' my knee was hurting simply too much. haix..hope one day i will be able to do so at a respectable timing and also accuracy. so i can shout loudly AWESOME! hahaha..=) love saints hockey peeps. strive on!!! we will make it to the finals. remember: HUNGER FOR THE BALL. :)
anyway to cut things short, i got into the school team for hockey...actually i think the girls are really lucky cos all of us who consistently turned up got in..hmm..only those who had irregular attendance din get in..shall no mention any names here..*sigh* but its really lyk a burden lifted off my shoulders and chest. relieved that my hard work paid off..really...=) thank god.
hmmm..the guys team got 3 got cut..quite sad..haix..felt veh sad la..really think they bonded very well within this short period of intense and tiring training..but we came through it together..we encouraged each other, pushed each other, and we made each others' trainings somuch easier with friendly bickerings and laughter..=) this applies not only to the guys team but also to the girls team too..i think im really touched by these ppl in my life. all the while since sec sch..cca has alwaes been a huge part of my life. cos' its through cca tt i made many strong and dependable friendships tt last till today. =) treasure them alot..besties in life! =D
ehhh. he talked to me today la. im like super super happy. hahah..practically floated on cloud 9..hmmm..dunno why i think he's cute..lol..dun think alot ppl think so..but i also recently then notice how he looks like etc. *shrugs* call me humsup also can la..maybe i AM. :P heh..but i nv talk to him before, so today was quite a ground breaking experience. think he said a total of 2 sentences to me..one is "can i drink the water first" and the 2nd is "har, u really got highest in econs ah?" hahaha..not very significant, but well, im satisfied. at least he bothered to talk to me la..=) oOps, i feel like some bimbo. -brainless WITHOUT beauty- hahaha...
shall not elaborate then. but today was overall a quite nice day. heh. though i din complete the BSA cos' my knee was hurting simply too much. haix..hope one day i will be able to do so at a respectable timing and also accuracy. so i can shout loudly AWESOME! hahaha..=) love saints hockey peeps. strive on!!! we will make it to the finals. remember: HUNGER FOR THE BALL. :)
Sunday, April 10, 2005
fortunate.
hmmm..you guys can now call and msg me at the same number already..yea, nv change number..sigh..apparently i have 5 more mths before i hit 21 mths to upgrade my phone..now all the phones if wan to upgrade haf to use the 12mths criteria..and all the phones not veh desirable. wonder which phone shld i get after 5 mths..hehx...
was abit disappointed cant get new phone, but well, i guess i deserved it la. if i lost the phone, then i must accept the consequences. but im still pissed cos i din LOSE it. it got STOLEN. yea. u get the point rite?
btu i guess im lucky in a way. was on the way home from the hello singtel shop. stopped at a coffee shop to get dinner. stayed in teh car while pa wenta buy food. saw this really old man carrying a plastic bag hobbling across the road. dunno why, just suddenly felt super sad for the elderly man. he hobbled to a dustbin just outside a shop, opened the top and peered in. suddenly i felt so so so guilty. here i was complaining because i cant get a phone i want, and here this old man merely survives on god knows what. am i selfish, ignorant or wad? i shld be contented with what i have, despite meaning i downgraded to a super old phone..yea..at least i HAVE a phone, rite? yups. :)
im happy. im contented. 3315. love u to bits. yellow light rocks. yay. gotta make the best out of everything! :P tml's match with vjc. hope we thrash them!
was abit disappointed cant get new phone, but well, i guess i deserved it la. if i lost the phone, then i must accept the consequences. but im still pissed cos i din LOSE it. it got STOLEN. yea. u get the point rite?
btu i guess im lucky in a way. was on the way home from the hello singtel shop. stopped at a coffee shop to get dinner. stayed in teh car while pa wenta buy food. saw this really old man carrying a plastic bag hobbling across the road. dunno why, just suddenly felt super sad for the elderly man. he hobbled to a dustbin just outside a shop, opened the top and peered in. suddenly i felt so so so guilty. here i was complaining because i cant get a phone i want, and here this old man merely survives on god knows what. am i selfish, ignorant or wad? i shld be contented with what i have, despite meaning i downgraded to a super old phone..yea..at least i HAVE a phone, rite? yups. :)
im happy. im contented. 3315. love u to bits. yellow light rocks. yay. gotta make the best out of everything! :P tml's match with vjc. hope we thrash them!
Saturday, April 09, 2005
lost.
sigh. lost my freaking hp. nokia 3100..super old liao dunno who the hell wants to take it la. freak. idiot. jerk. before i start, i must curse this person who took my phone to die a horrible death, to get struck by lightning, then knocked down AND rolled over by a huge truck, breaking all his bones and making him/her bedridden for life, wan to die also cannot, wan to live also cannot. shiok.
training today started at 7am at delta. reached by 645am. tired. super achy. knee giving me probs. then padded up an warmed up n stuff. gate opened, we went in to push ard. sighhh. den the girls involved in short corner wenta practice, then the rest played mini game as usual lo. only today it wasnt so usual cos i got shin on the shin by a stupid flying ball. from hema. to tell u the truth, i was f*cking pissed. for god's sake, i was standing so near to her, and she had to hit a flying ball. hit me DIRECT on my shin. tt short distance and large force really killed me. once ball in contact with my shin, i simply crumpled to the floor. the pain was unbearable. it wasnt like the normal ones. it stung right straight down to the bone. i cldnt help but tear. serious. the pain was lousy. arghhhs. for god's sake my entire leg dented in at the area where i got hit!=X then soon after it started swelling. now still swelling though applied alot ice already once i reached home(after my hp got stolen n i no mood to do work). sighhh..can be any bruise or wad, just dun be hairline fracture or anything serious. left knee already injured, cannot let my right leg get anything..haix..
anyway, we won st. theresians 3-1. hmmm. :)
eh. anyway, abt my phone, i lost it after training when me xl n sharon(goh) wenta tiong bahru(after breakfast with the rest at redhill mkt near delta) to study at the mac there. we took the most corner seat. i sat with my left side just by the transparent plane, sharon beside me and xl opp. side me. sighhh..did abit econs drq. super tired. xl k.o before me. i followed suit. but sharon din slp. when i woke up, wanted to see the time so i looked for my phone. but it was NOWHERE. and i swear it was on my bag just before i slpt. and my bag was right infront of me on the table. sheesh. this is absolute absurd la. dun understand. how can someone take away a lousy handphone in front of sharon and yet she dunno it???! f*ck. tt's almost impossible. and why mine man? sheesh. its like super old n worn, even the keypad numbers and alphabets are gone la. plus its old model.
haix, tt stupid dunno how much it meant to me la. haix..alot memories, nice msges, pics, the hp keychain itself is impt to me..plus the 3 stars inside the screen there, also mean alot to me lo. haix. i dunno man. damn sad. dunno wad to say. forget it la. dunno la. i think i cannot be any more unlucky today. *sigh*
life just aint fair to me. now i'll hafta live without my phone. dun think my dad will replace it with a new one. sighhh. no alarm clock. no calendar. no numbers of frens. no msges. no nothing. i feel lost man. like a part of me is gone. it's not a material thing, but rather a emotional one. *sigh. my FIRST hp la for god's sake. to hell with the person who took it.
sigh.
note: im giving up on this latest eye candy as usual. dunno why the ppl i like alwaes like other ppl. hahaha. mutual liking just doesnt come easy, does it? *shrugs
training today started at 7am at delta. reached by 645am. tired. super achy. knee giving me probs. then padded up an warmed up n stuff. gate opened, we went in to push ard. sighhh. den the girls involved in short corner wenta practice, then the rest played mini game as usual lo. only today it wasnt so usual cos i got shin on the shin by a stupid flying ball. from hema. to tell u the truth, i was f*cking pissed. for god's sake, i was standing so near to her, and she had to hit a flying ball. hit me DIRECT on my shin. tt short distance and large force really killed me. once ball in contact with my shin, i simply crumpled to the floor. the pain was unbearable. it wasnt like the normal ones. it stung right straight down to the bone. i cldnt help but tear. serious. the pain was lousy. arghhhs. for god's sake my entire leg dented in at the area where i got hit!=X then soon after it started swelling. now still swelling though applied alot ice already once i reached home(after my hp got stolen n i no mood to do work). sighhh..can be any bruise or wad, just dun be hairline fracture or anything serious. left knee already injured, cannot let my right leg get anything..haix..
anyway, we won st. theresians 3-1. hmmm. :)
eh. anyway, abt my phone, i lost it after training when me xl n sharon(goh) wenta tiong bahru(after breakfast with the rest at redhill mkt near delta) to study at the mac there. we took the most corner seat. i sat with my left side just by the transparent plane, sharon beside me and xl opp. side me. sighhh..did abit econs drq. super tired. xl k.o before me. i followed suit. but sharon din slp. when i woke up, wanted to see the time so i looked for my phone. but it was NOWHERE. and i swear it was on my bag just before i slpt. and my bag was right infront of me on the table. sheesh. this is absolute absurd la. dun understand. how can someone take away a lousy handphone in front of sharon and yet she dunno it???! f*ck. tt's almost impossible. and why mine man? sheesh. its like super old n worn, even the keypad numbers and alphabets are gone la. plus its old model.
haix, tt stupid dunno how much it meant to me la. haix..alot memories, nice msges, pics, the hp keychain itself is impt to me..plus the 3 stars inside the screen there, also mean alot to me lo. haix. i dunno man. damn sad. dunno wad to say. forget it la. dunno la. i think i cannot be any more unlucky today. *sigh*
life just aint fair to me. now i'll hafta live without my phone. dun think my dad will replace it with a new one. sighhh. no alarm clock. no calendar. no numbers of frens. no msges. no nothing. i feel lost man. like a part of me is gone. it's not a material thing, but rather a emotional one. *sigh. my FIRST hp la for god's sake. to hell with the person who took it.
sigh.
note: im giving up on this latest eye candy as usual. dunno why the ppl i like alwaes like other ppl. hahaha. mutual liking just doesnt come easy, does it? *shrugs
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
oh yea.
hahaha, so apparently i din fail my econs. quite luckily i got a C for it. which is by large, the best surprise so far. =D mcq got 16, essays got 14 and 16 respectively. so total up got C i guess. really really surprised. but im glad. cos econs is one subject i really love and have a huge interest in. thank god. :) so now, i got two Fs and one C. yays. tml getting back GP paper and geog on friday i think..*shrugs* not much hope la, just hope don't fail too badly. already going to meet HOD or principal i think. sheesh.
anyway, today's PT training was super tiring. i dunno why. we were supposed to do Basic, Super and Awesome. but start on Basic 3rd station started rainning already! the rain was huge la..guess cos' the sky before that was already darkening when we begun. boss told us to assemble back at the gallery should he blow his whistle. i think he was just in time la, he managed to evacuate most of the people in the basketballs courts and fields just before the rain fell onto the ground. the winds were huge and the raindrops were sure large man. got super wet and cold. *bRrr* heh..then sat at gallery steps a while, huddling ard to escape the wind..then boss announced that we can go hude out in the PE room. so yupz, we all boys and girls wenta PE room to slack ard. ahahah..super stuffy la with somuch of us and no air-con. in the end, we turned on the air-con and boss even asked if we wanted biscuits, which can be taken from the PE store. so me, monz and sharon(quek) wenta get 3 tins of biscuits. hahaha..then turned out we had to eat outside, so we headed back to the gallery steps there lo. yups. ate a 2 packs of biscuits then full liao. waited for rain to stop, played af ew games, talked abit crap. haahaha..then when rain stopped, we had to start PT! *sighhhh*
by then, everyone was like super lethargic and muscles veh tensed, cos' we stopped suddenly b4 that..anyway, we had to complete Super and Awesome. Basic cancelled out cos no time. sighhh..super tiring la. really tested alot of our endurance..cos' it was still raining..the ground was wet and slippery. no one was training la, besides us hockey..think we really ping le ming..hope we can reap the results..*sighh* yea, completed it with much difficulty. a few times i almost wanted to give up la, but guess i din. did with mp and monz. hmmm..yea, im glad we completed it :) feel so accomplished. first time doing it lo. haahah..
i think im really in deep shit. can't stop lookin at him..hahaha! think he knows i keep lookin at him already!!! so embarrassing!!! =X but suan ler..guess he don't care la. hmm..tml got friendly match against tpjc. hope we'll thrash them!!! =) go SAINTS HOCKEY!!! :)))) *grins* hope i'll perform well! =X
hmmm..yea, basically tts it la. ok gotta go. just typed finish the class cip proposal for re-submission again. *yawns* got econs essay outline haben finish!!! hahaha..guess i shld start working hard..did my maths tut 26 and also starting on permutations and combinations already! doing my hwk consistently so far. hope can keep this up, dun wanna fail so badly anymore..As, here i come!!! :D
feeling sick from all tt rain. but thinking abt him brings a smile to my face. (hey it rhymes!! :P)
anyway, today's PT training was super tiring. i dunno why. we were supposed to do Basic, Super and Awesome. but start on Basic 3rd station started rainning already! the rain was huge la..guess cos' the sky before that was already darkening when we begun. boss told us to assemble back at the gallery should he blow his whistle. i think he was just in time la, he managed to evacuate most of the people in the basketballs courts and fields just before the rain fell onto the ground. the winds were huge and the raindrops were sure large man. got super wet and cold. *bRrr* heh..then sat at gallery steps a while, huddling ard to escape the wind..then boss announced that we can go hude out in the PE room. so yupz, we all boys and girls wenta PE room to slack ard. ahahah..super stuffy la with somuch of us and no air-con. in the end, we turned on the air-con and boss even asked if we wanted biscuits, which can be taken from the PE store. so me, monz and sharon(quek) wenta get 3 tins of biscuits. hahaha..then turned out we had to eat outside, so we headed back to the gallery steps there lo. yups. ate a 2 packs of biscuits then full liao. waited for rain to stop, played af ew games, talked abit crap. haahaha..then when rain stopped, we had to start PT! *sighhhh*
by then, everyone was like super lethargic and muscles veh tensed, cos' we stopped suddenly b4 that..anyway, we had to complete Super and Awesome. Basic cancelled out cos no time. sighhh..super tiring la. really tested alot of our endurance..cos' it was still raining..the ground was wet and slippery. no one was training la, besides us hockey..think we really ping le ming..hope we can reap the results..*sighh* yea, completed it with much difficulty. a few times i almost wanted to give up la, but guess i din. did with mp and monz. hmmm..yea, im glad we completed it :) feel so accomplished. first time doing it lo. haahah..
i think im really in deep shit. can't stop lookin at him..hahaha! think he knows i keep lookin at him already!!! so embarrassing!!! =X but suan ler..guess he don't care la. hmm..tml got friendly match against tpjc. hope we'll thrash them!!! =) go SAINTS HOCKEY!!! :)))) *grins* hope i'll perform well! =X
hmmm..yea, basically tts it la. ok gotta go. just typed finish the class cip proposal for re-submission again. *yawns* got econs essay outline haben finish!!! hahaha..guess i shld start working hard..did my maths tut 26 and also starting on permutations and combinations already! doing my hwk consistently so far. hope can keep this up, dun wanna fail so badly anymore..As, here i come!!! :D
feeling sick from all tt rain. but thinking abt him brings a smile to my face. (hey it rhymes!! :P)
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
remember.
hahha...i actually suddenly remembered my sign in name and my password for this blog. just came to drop a simple entry before i really totally forgot both my username and password again. :P
well, it's been quite long i guess. block tests are over and everything. results are almost completed. *sigh* i think i did really badly, but wad can i say? i deserved it. and when i mean badly, its really really bad. i won't bother to make myself sound nice here, so yea, bascially i flunked all. Fs for both maths n physics already. think geog another F. econs n GP also like not much hope already. not tt i don't wish for any hope, but just tt this hope seems a bit too weak and insignificant.
but i guess im geting over all these shitty stuff anyways. heh. block test 2 is something i must strive towards now. block test 1 i may do badly cos of trainings and no studying, but i won't have any excuse to fail my block test 2. i don't wanna be the last in class again. im sick of being tt since the start of this yr. other sportsmen can do so well academically yet i can't. this goes to show something, doesn't it? i can do it if i try hard enough. now, just pray that i'll have the faith and courage to fight on, picking up myself from all these rubble at my feet and striding on. i must conquer my As! hahaha~ now, it may sound absurd now, but the ideal results would be AAAB. not that i can get such incredulous results la, but i guess i had better aim high. im prone to falling down damn low.
hopefully i'll keep this fighting spirit in me eh? don't want to get looked down at anymore. not anymore, i repeat. gotta prove some irritating idiots wrong.
hmM~ hockey training has been really intensive lately. season is coming up, in a few weeks time or less. *sigh* im really really really nervous. think i've really never played in any sport at a national level before..though last time SJAB got alot comps. that i joined with much confidence though with equally much nervousness too. heh. but not something like this. it's a huge team. a huge expectation of ourselves. huge pressures. we really want to win this. not only for ourselves, but to prove the others wrong as well. we worked so hard. still working hard. we fought with determination, and so much team spirit has arisen in this short period of time, its really something i treasure and will rmb always. UP AND ON SAINTS HOCKEY. we can do it!!! :)
erm. ok yea. some whiney stuff now. haahaha..i positively feel like im growing fatter! gotta keep a constant mindset to refuse food and not binge!!! :D well well, wed thurs fri sat got trainin again..go go go jielin! hahaha..
hmM~ sheesh. i really think im a fickle minded girl. i wonder who do i really like, and when will i really settle down? maybe i AM still too immature to think on my two feet. to make choices. or maybe i just cant be bothered. im happy with the freedom i have now. although i may crave company and someone sturdy to rely on once in a while, im pretty happy and contented the way i am now already. i think i cherish frenship and independence alot. =X but still, i can't help but notice him! :p lol. like yun ma loves to say, i like guys who are tall dark and FAT. which i totally object strongly and violently! hahaha..i don't like FAT guys ok. it's WRONG. :P anyway, i may have liked plump guys b4 i admit. hahahha..
the point is. this guy is tall, dark and kinda..well..cute? it sounds really funny and rather idiotic of me..([erhaps even bimbotic). but i seriously haven't spoken a word to him before. not tt kinda conversation i guess. lol. its really mad, cos i kinda don't believe in this chinese phrase "ri jiu shen qing"..heh..but i kinda find him cute now, which i din realise int he past yr. :D he's just really silent and hmm...mysterious? haven't smiled to me either. lol. (hey, i don't go up to his face and grin like a mad woman either) but well, somehow wish i cld at least be frens with him first..afterall im seeing him like 4 times in a 5 day week! :X we'll see how things go then.
hahaha. but seriously, i have too many eye candies for my own good! guess i just have a wide range of taste. :P *grins*
well, it's been quite long i guess. block tests are over and everything. results are almost completed. *sigh* i think i did really badly, but wad can i say? i deserved it. and when i mean badly, its really really bad. i won't bother to make myself sound nice here, so yea, bascially i flunked all. Fs for both maths n physics already. think geog another F. econs n GP also like not much hope already. not tt i don't wish for any hope, but just tt this hope seems a bit too weak and insignificant.
but i guess im geting over all these shitty stuff anyways. heh. block test 2 is something i must strive towards now. block test 1 i may do badly cos of trainings and no studying, but i won't have any excuse to fail my block test 2. i don't wanna be the last in class again. im sick of being tt since the start of this yr. other sportsmen can do so well academically yet i can't. this goes to show something, doesn't it? i can do it if i try hard enough. now, just pray that i'll have the faith and courage to fight on, picking up myself from all these rubble at my feet and striding on. i must conquer my As! hahaha~ now, it may sound absurd now, but the ideal results would be AAAB. not that i can get such incredulous results la, but i guess i had better aim high. im prone to falling down damn low.
hopefully i'll keep this fighting spirit in me eh? don't want to get looked down at anymore. not anymore, i repeat. gotta prove some irritating idiots wrong.
hmM~ hockey training has been really intensive lately. season is coming up, in a few weeks time or less. *sigh* im really really really nervous. think i've really never played in any sport at a national level before..though last time SJAB got alot comps. that i joined with much confidence though with equally much nervousness too. heh. but not something like this. it's a huge team. a huge expectation of ourselves. huge pressures. we really want to win this. not only for ourselves, but to prove the others wrong as well. we worked so hard. still working hard. we fought with determination, and so much team spirit has arisen in this short period of time, its really something i treasure and will rmb always. UP AND ON SAINTS HOCKEY. we can do it!!! :)
erm. ok yea. some whiney stuff now. haahaha..i positively feel like im growing fatter! gotta keep a constant mindset to refuse food and not binge!!! :D well well, wed thurs fri sat got trainin again..go go go jielin! hahaha..
hmM~ sheesh. i really think im a fickle minded girl. i wonder who do i really like, and when will i really settle down? maybe i AM still too immature to think on my two feet. to make choices. or maybe i just cant be bothered. im happy with the freedom i have now. although i may crave company and someone sturdy to rely on once in a while, im pretty happy and contented the way i am now already. i think i cherish frenship and independence alot. =X but still, i can't help but notice him! :p lol. like yun ma loves to say, i like guys who are tall dark and FAT. which i totally object strongly and violently! hahaha..i don't like FAT guys ok. it's WRONG. :P anyway, i may have liked plump guys b4 i admit. hahahha..
the point is. this guy is tall, dark and kinda..well..cute? it sounds really funny and rather idiotic of me..([erhaps even bimbotic). but i seriously haven't spoken a word to him before. not tt kinda conversation i guess. lol. its really mad, cos i kinda don't believe in this chinese phrase "ri jiu shen qing"..heh..but i kinda find him cute now, which i din realise int he past yr. :D he's just really silent and hmm...mysterious? haven't smiled to me either. lol. (hey, i don't go up to his face and grin like a mad woman either) but well, somehow wish i cld at least be frens with him first..afterall im seeing him like 4 times in a 5 day week! :X we'll see how things go then.
hahaha. but seriously, i have too many eye candies for my own good! guess i just have a wide range of taste. :P *grins*
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